ideas for verifying members as genuine

do you think the site should have a verification system

6 Jan 2009

I am also a member of other sites that allow for so called verifacation. One particular site I have been approached on a number of occasions by other members to give each other a good write up even though we have never met or even likely to meet each other.

6 Jan 2009

KFF. I think SH will never go down that road.
I for one have been a believer in this kind of thing, for as long as I can remember, and this has been done many times before.
For some reason a lot on here do not want it, and neither do the powers to be at SH towers.
I am with you on your thinking though. wink

6 Jan 2009

The other site where you can verify people i believe is a free site. Therefore one person can have several accounts and verify themselves. Not so good eh?

6 Jan 2009

Eeeeeeeek the "V" word mad

Never will it happen on SH. Well not in my short lifetime anyway.
There have been threads, posts and God knows what else about it.

6 Jan 2009

Quote by midsprincess
The other site where you can verify people i believe is a free site. Therefore one person can have several accounts and verify themselves. Not so good eh?

The site I'm refering to allows some free acsess but to verify you have to be a full paid up member.

6 Jan 2009

Would it be like a feedback system where by you can have 100% positive feedback?
I wouldn’t like the idea I think it is open to abuse.

6 Jan 2009

I was approached yesterday by a guy advertising as a couple , with a lot of info about him scant info about her and a feeble excuse that she has lost interest but may be interested in a while asking to be a friend, they he or / had no pics no info no friends in the right hand box .....yeah right oh and had only joined this week ......dream on......count me in on a deff confirmation system.
stevex

6 Jan 2009

Quote by flower411
Every time this subject comes up one of the reasons given for having a verification system is that "it works on the other sites I use" .....
So use those sites, what`s so difficult ??
I honestly don`t understand
And anyway ...we do now have an optional verification system, only it`s called "quickies"

Do you fancy a quickie? :rascal:

6 Jan 2009

Quote by travlinmanukok
I was approached yesterday by a guy advertising as a couple , with a lot of info about him scant info about her and a feeble excuse that she has lost interest but may be interested in a while asking to be a friend, they he or / had no pics no info no friends in the right hand box .....yeah right oh and had only joined this week ......dream on......count me in on a deff confirmation system.
stevex

I suppose the only foolproof way of verification is meeting with others on here and getting your name around , once established then it should be plain sailing to be known by others who want to meet you but as for a verification system ???? even many pay sites fall by the way side as single guys pretending can download a pic from anywhere and advertise as a couple ............... just one of the pit falls swingers have to deal with I suppose ...hit and miss .
stevex

6 Jan 2009

My suggestion would be to pick your playing partners better.
Choosing an advert and arranging a meet without a cam confirmation, phone confirmation or a social meet first would probably end in a no show.
Accept that it is you that is letting yourself down and stop blaming the site as it doesn't have a verification system.
KENTY, you are right. This country does blame everything else bar themselves. Oh hang on.......you are in favour of the verification system bolt

Dave_Notts

6 Jan 2009

Quote by Dave__Notts
My suggestion would be to pick your playing partners better.
Choosing an advert and arranging a meet without a cam confirmation, phone confirmation or a social meet first would probably end in a no show.
Accept that it is you that is letting yourself down and stop blaming the site as it doesn't have a verification system.
KENTY, you are right. This country does blame everything else bar themselves. Oh hang on.......you are in favour of the verification system
Dave_Notts

I usually am Davey. wink

6 Jan 2009

Quote by Kff30
i can see the points of views for and against that ppl have put down here but im still in favour of it i know and accept that any form of verification could be open to abuse by false members but a system where i could leave a report saying i had met X and can confirm them as geunine or i could say arranged to meet and X cancelld/did not show would help genuine members sort out the fakes and time wasters on here lets face it if some one looked at our profile and saw we had a score of 10 confirmed meets for example it would make any member feel more comfortable about meeting us
many of us have busy lives and dont have time to play often so when we do we want to be able to make sure as much as we can that whoever we are meeting will at least show up

excellent point and well said..
steve x

6 Jan 2009

Quote by Kff30
i can see the points of views for and against that ppl have put down here but im still in favour of it i know and accept that any form of verification could be open to abuse by false members but a system where i could leave a report saying i had met X and can confirm them as geunine or i could say arranged to meet and X cancelld/did not show would help genuine members sort out the fakes and time wasters on here lets face it if some one looked at our profile and saw we had a score of 10 confirmed meets for example it would make any member feel more comfortable about meeting us

But I have tried to meet you 3 times anf you always let me down rolleyes

The one 4th time you did actually turn up, late, you looked nothing like your pictures and forgot to bring your wife as she was 'ill' :roll:
As for forgetting to book the room, not bringing condoms or having a shower, honestly, you really should stop pissing people about mad

Yes that was utter bollox and lies but it served a purpose.

Quote by Dave__Notts
My suggestion would be to pick your playing partners better.
Choosing an advert and arranging a meet without a cam confirmation, phone confirmation or a social meet first would probably end in a no show.
Accept that it is you that is letting yourself down and stop blaming the site as it doesn't have a verification system.

I met Dave and my God he is a fLucking excellent shag :giggle:
Alex was utterly amazing and I can't wait to meet up with you both again hump

Yep, lies :roll:
That is an example of why I hate verification but I have a feeling we will end up with it on SH because many other the members that do not post on the forum have asked for a system to be in place.

6 Jan 2009

hmmmm a good point indeed, however, for example, we're fairly new here and yet to have a meet, but and are totally genuine. Therefore, does that not put us at a disadvantage for being new members if everyone is ranking everyone else? It's a bit "ebay" for my liking!
I think it this site is almost "buyer beware" i.e, if someone refuses to meet on Cam, swap phone numbers, speak to each partner involved - basically build a relationship of some kind, then there is a chance something isn't right.

6 Jan 2009

It won't work.
To do anything like this, the profile owner has to have control over what they display. I was also another member of a site that had a 'feedback system' I've seen it used to destroy the reputation of people as much as to enhance it.
I've seen forum threads on other sites that have said things along the lines of 'we love feedback because it lets us know who those people that have bareback pictures on their profiles have played with, so we don't go anywhere near them'
Who in there right mind is going to display 'feedback' that says they don't turn up? If they have no choice over what they display, I'll bet pounds to pennie's it will be used as a weapon to discredit folks.
What about those joining the site, who as yet havn't met anyone and therefore have no feedback? Are they to be ostracized? How would new members go about getting that all important first meet then?
As others have said the absolute best way of verifying someone is to be sure before you even think about meeting them to play that they are who they say they are, whether by cam, MSN, social meets or phone. If you don't get the opportunity to play that often, surely it's worth investing a bit of time in that, rather than relying on a flawed, meaningless system like feedback?

6 Jan 2009

Quote by Kff30
. . . a system where i could leave a report saying i had met X and can confirm them as geunine or i could say arranged to meet and X cancelld/did not show would help genuine members sort out the fakes and time wasters on here lets face it if some one looked at our profile and saw we had a score of 10 confirmed meets for example it would make any member feel more comfortable about meeting us
many of us have busy lives and dont have time to play often so when we do we want to be able to make sure as much as we can that whoever we are meeting will at least show up

The second paragraph there equally applies to the vast majoirty of members. Many of those members though have no wish whatsoever to advertise the details of who they have met, and when, and would refuse to use the kind of verification system you describe even if it were available to them. It's a discretion thing. ;) What would you say their status would be on sites that offer verification as an unverified member? Somewhat suspect perhaps? dunno

Neil x x x ;)

6 Jan 2009

Quote by staffcple
It won't work.
To do anything like this, the profile owner has to have control over what they display. I was also another member of a site that had a 'feedback system' I've seen it used to destroy the reputation of people as much as to enhance it.
I've seen forum threads on other sites that have said things along the lines of 'we love feedback because it lets us know who those people that have bareback pictures on their profiles have played with, so we don't go anywhere near them'
Who in there right mind is going to display 'feedback' that says they don't turn up? If they have no choice over what they display, I'll bet pounds to pennie's it will be used as a weapon to discredit folks.
What about those joining the site, who as yet havn't met anyone and therefore have no feedback? Are they to be ostracized? How would new members go about getting that all important first meet then?
As others have said the absolute best way of verifying someone is to be sure before you even think about meeting them to play that they are who they say they are, whether by cam, MSN, social meets or phone. If you don't get the opportunity to play that often, surely it's worth investing a bit of time in that, rather than relying on a flawed, meaningless system like feedback?

6 Jan 2009

Quote by flower411
We`ll definately stop meeting through this site if mandatory verification comes in ...
I have no desire for people to know who and how many people we have met.

If a system does come in it wouldn't be mandatory, we know from experience that most here like opt out options.
Also we are planning to have a few polls via members home pages to get feedback on any new features before we build them, that way we can focus on what the majority here would like to see in place cool

6 Jan 2009

Quote by st3v3
If a system does come in it wouldn't be mandatory, we know from experience that most here like opt out options.

st3v3,
Wouldn't a system that is not mandatory for all members of the site be pointless?
Surely all that will lead to is a two tier site, those that have and those that don't have or don't choose to show it?
My opinion of course and it is a neutral one as I don't meet anyway, but I could see this potentially splitting the site apart.
dunno

6 Jan 2009

Quote by st3v3
If a system does come in it wouldn't be mandatory, we know from experience that most here like opt out options.

Does that not then get people asking the question "Why have they opted out?, Has something bad happened?"

6 Jan 2009

Quote by kentswingers777
My suggestion would be to pick your playing partners better.
Choosing an advert and arranging a meet without a cam confirmation, phone confirmation or a social meet first would probably end in a no show.
Accept that it is you that is letting yourself down and stop blaming the site as it doesn't have a verification system.
KENTY, you are right. This country does blame everything else bar themselves. Oh hang on.......you are in favour of the verification system
Dave_Notts

I usually am Davey. wink

You do make me laugh........as in with you and not at you
Dave_Notts

6 Jan 2009

Quote by Kff30
being able to opt out would be a good idea that way then ppl would be able to choose if they wanted to meet members that have been varified or not
being able to opt out should pls the members who dont like the idea of being verified we for one and totally in favour and will opt in if and when sh does it

So on this basis, would you then want to meet people who had opted out? Or would you assume they had sinister reasons for not wanting verification? dunno

;)

6 Jan 2009

Quote by Angel Chat
So on this basis, would you then want to meet people who had opted out? Or would you assume they had sinister reasons for not wanting verification?
;)

6 Jan 2009

Quote by Kff30
i would like to see some sort of system on here where members who have met can leave feedback for each other which can been seen by every one when reading profiles i beilive this would cut down on a lot of the time wasters from arangeing meets and then letting ppl down

The word "timewaster" is used very freely on this site, and you haven't said anything about how you define it.
Suppose a very genuine member has to cancel at the last moment because their car won't start as they are setting out for a meet they have arranged? What if someone is let down by babysitters at the last moment before they set out? Both these things have happened to very genuine members here - are they timewasters? Who decides whether their excuses are genuine or not? Suppose someone arranges a meet and has a severe attack of nerves when they are on their way to a meet? Should they call off the meet and rearrange it or carry on and meet, even if they are almost too terrified to talk, let alone "perform". It hasn't happened to me, but we're all human. Is that person a timewaster? What if someone meets up, they have a friendly chat, and decide as a result to say no to going any further - disappointing of course, the other person might feel very let down after all the build up - is the person/s who said no a timewaster?
If a verification system was implemented here, I suspect we would just end up with lots of complaints, and would probably have to have an appeals panel! The disputes could be endless!

6 Jan 2009

I feel a opted in or out system is a bit pointless really as some will see the opting out as being timewasters.
I joined this site am we can remain decrete, that is the way I like to be.
I know some people don't mind others knowing that they meet and would even make things obvious but I for one like to remain private in what goes on in my private life.
I base my judgement on gut reaction and as flower so rightly put if it let me down I have myself to blame.
Also bear in mind, a meet might be good for one but not for another.
We might not all like the same things so having a genuine meet button doesn't mean that person is right for you.

6 Jan 2009

ok i cant multi quote, dont really matter but i willtry and remember allthe points raised..
ok some people say they would like a verification system cuse it was only the other day they were approaced by a guy who didnt own a cam,no way of getting pics up of him and his mrs together, couldnt do phone call so wow if only wed had a verification system then it would have saved all that time.
would it really??? would you purely trust the verification tick?
others say they would like it so they can leave feed back saying such and such didnt turn up.
all the verification sites ive seen dont allow bad feedback tobe displayed on a persons profile.
ok so you join a web site as a couple, but few months down the line you split,but youve been verified, and you know its so much harder to get meets or you are excluded from the party invite section if your a single guy.
are you going to de verify yourself?
i doubt it ,in fact ive been contacted on said sites by verified couples and they openly admit they split,( cuse i say i only meet single guys) ive reported about 60 fakes in the last month there,but nothing has happened to them.
now are we talking verification or reviews?????
if i pay me cash,join the site,arrange to meet a verified single guy and when he turns up he forgot to take the weding ring off can i claim compensation??
well the site advertised him as a single guy!!??
he wasnt 6ft but 5ft, do i get my 12 inches from admin???
if i personally see lots of reviews it makes me cringe and i will NOT meet anyone with reviews, creepy.
and what if i meet someoen and they did turn upetc but were crappy,am i harrassed into leaving a nice review? then my names tarred then others meet him and hes crappy again and ppl think im a lier.
or maybe hes a amazing shag to my tastes,dont mean he will be for them.
i dont like reviews,i dont hold any weight with verifiying a couples a couple etc.
verifying a member does not prove they swing.
it proves nothing.
the benefit of it for me will hilight whos slept with someone i detest and i know plays unsafe and yippee i will know to not touch them with a barge pole lol
its a adult site, act safe and suss them out for yourself.
not got time?? go to a club for your fun, saves time, saves being social.
xx fem xxx

6 Jan 2009

Quote by fem_4_taboo
Do i get my 12 inches from admin???

"Hijack"
Nope, you can see me for that, I'm sure I could manage four times in a night.
"Hijack over"

6 Jan 2009

I dont understand what would be verified?
That the person is a real person?
That the person is a real swinger?
That the person does have sex?
I am and always will be against verification because it would always be open to abuse..........
Someone falls out with you and posts a lie about you ....... how do you prove its a lie?
You meet someone and they dont like you so they post something nasty about you?
Do you really want everyone to be able to see who you have met, how many people you meet, what "sort" of people you meet?
Computer says NO!!! :giggle:
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

6 Jan 2009

Quote by Matsara

So on this basis, would you then want to meet people who had opted out? Or would you assume they had sinister reasons for not wanting verification?
;)

Exactly. If you opt out, your giving someone a reason not to trust you. Which is not fair if you simply don't agree with a verification system.
Also, another thought, someone's 10 out 10 might not be the same idea as my 10 out of 10.
I personally wouldnt soley distrust someone because they had opted out of verification, but what it probably would do is allow me to know that if someone who is verified as genuine is actually worth passing the time of day with - and no that isnt to be read as i wouldnt pass the time of day with anyone who isnt verified. But lets face it at the end of the day if I make time in my life to play I want to know i'm not sitting around wasting hours on a no show. That surely is my choice.
I have to admit i do find it strange that the focal point seems to be on the mis-use of verification. It crossed my mind that when i've had problems with other site members, or indeed when i've heard others having problems and wanting to quit the site altogether, everyone jumps and says "there are more nice ppl on here than a**eholes/wankers/idiots/timewasters (delete as appropriate) stick with it, I also remember the fury that went on when Quickies were introduced.
I'm here to get the best i can out of my "Swinging Life" and if verification helps me cut down on spending hours and hours talking to someone who at the end of the day is a known timewaster then so be it. My only real concern is if they r gonna show, if it turns out the person is just "not my type" then i dont have to meet them again it certainly doesnt mean i would leave them an unfavourable report.

6 Jan 2009

regarding the 12 inches lol staffs and flower i think between you you could just manage to compensate lol
can i have clarification, verification or reviwes/testimonials?
cuse verification tome says they are male female etc, which ive seen is still abused.
testimonials.. ok might prove they turned up but you can leave that crap on here now as a quickie.
testimonials dont say were they clean,right age,height, etc.
or will we be issued score cards now at meets?
i wont opt in to verification, i will avoid anyone who has testimonials.
i wonder as a single fem i will suffer much??? maybe all the twatters will leave me alone as not genuine if i opt out thank fluk lol
xx xfem xx