We would not meet hairy guys or guys that are overweight....her choice.
I am a bit of a tart so a woman is a woman, though there are one or two exceptions even to that rule.
we've never played with anyone who uses the forums and never will!
With anything as personal as sexual contact, everyone has the right to be selective.
Plim
Its an arguable idea. Most people theoretically apply p&d where they state negative preferences. But its equally p&d to have positive preferences. Both the negative and the positive are specific requests and prepare people for what you expect of each other.
If people are using a homogenised language to relate to one another then that is all it is. an inoffensive tool of communication. it does not mean that people should be expected to perform things they have no desire or joy to do. they may have tactfully and inoffensively declined someone, but they may still retain p&d to do so. and you are less likely to observe it in someone skilled like that.
p&d runs through us all its a human element. it can save your life. it can get you into big trouble or even kill you. knowing how it affects you and the way you behave is useful. its yours to do what you want with. however using it develop hatreds is not generally accepted.
it just another quality that once you have come to terms with, lets you move on in life to other things.
do think its a very interesting question.....when does preferance stop..and prejudice start ? for example I do a swing camp....if I for example said no blacks allowed....I do believe that would be prejudiced of me. However we see threads on here, black men for white women club socials....and they have made it clear, that white guys would not be welcome !! Is this preferance or prejudice ?
In the end..I think we all have to look inside and question ourselves sometimes, and ask, am I expressing a preferance or being prejudice ?
what is a little confusing is what people mean by p and d, and also in what order they come.
some people sound as if they mean prejudice to be a well formed hatred.
for me i will be prejudiced when faced with something i am not expecting but only slightly knowledgable about. once i am used to it, i feel i can make a choice, the prejudice goes away.
being discriminate often involves a comparison.
So if people are saying I am okay about making a choice or having a preference this may well be after a period of prejudice or discrimination.
Maybe we need to be more specific about the curcumstances.
There are 2 situations being dicsussed - socials and meets.
At a social there is a risk of discrimination preventing prefectly lovely people entering the premises.
At a meet I still reserve the absolute right to use any cirteria I chose to decide who enters ME!
Exactly! :thumbup:
In my opinion it would be totally wrong to promote a munch as only being for one colour/size/type etc. as that is a social event and all should be welcome. However, if there is likely to be sexual play involved then it helps to point out that it may be of particular interest to someone with specific preferences. However, other people are not banned from going, it's just that it may not be their cup of tea when they get there.
I'm thinking about going to the toga party next Thursday. I'm not especially a "BBW admirer" as such. I have no strong feelings either way as it depends entirely on how well I click with a particular individual. However, there are one or two people going who I particularly want to meet. I would love Sappho to come with me if she wanted to. She is the total opposite of a BBW - but I am sure she would be made welcome.
Will
But what is it that this aspect of being pc is asking? That people give up their own choice, feelings, instincts etc to satisfy an idea which can't possibly be absolute throughout all things in life?
Everybody has p&d in some way. Many of these qualities are instinctive and just can't be rationalised or controlled. Take embarassment for example, we all suffer from it, we can cause it to happen in people, but it's a reaction we have little personal control over. It stays with us for life.
the colour pc thing; along with a few other good and bad ideas have had sufficient argument and application to make their point. they have reached through the majority of unfairly formed collective opinions to the individual.
But that is where the idea stops. The individual can not share an ignorant or prejudiced viewpoint or insite others to be so. They are what they are. And that is largely what pc is trying to achieve; the individuals confidence in their own decisions.
Pushing the principles of pc would likely to have the same outcome as radical and fundamental ideas.
What a fascinating topic! I think that it is perhaps a touch pertinent to distinguish between the vagaries of the sexual entity and normal life. In general we tend to have preferences visually and physically which assists us in discerning between potential mates, those of us of a more liberated and libidinous persuasion may take this to a new level.
We all have our own preferences, turn ons, attributes we find attractive and physical components which are on our 'wish lists'. I personally used to be somewhat of a body nazi - in that I chose to play with only those that met some very harsh and specific proscribed desires of mine, that was boring and led to a lot of crap sex with aesthetically pleasing morons.
Over the last three months I have been incredibly fortunate enough to meet some fabulous and intelligent lovers that push me mentally and physically.
Perhaps herein lies the distinction between swinging and sex as opposed to random fucking. When you have the chance to build a rapport with anyone then you establish intimacy and understanding of one another's paramaters which ultimately leads to more engaging and satisfying sex. If you wanted to merely get your end away you could go to a bar and get laid, meeting good lovers means you get to explore lasciviously and hopefully enjoy yourself all the more.
I think that we are all entitled to be discerning, we're here to have fun and finding the right size or colour of playing partner or lover is all part of the fun, we can be discerning, we can say no, but we ought to remain respectful and be considerate of others. Personally I think it's a little stupid to ascribe any attribute to an entire legion of ethnicity simply based upon one's own experiences be they positive or negative, maybe that was what caused some offence? For example - I rarely eat potatoes, yet as an Irish woman it is one of the rather less original attributes ascribed to me, oh and I've not seen any leprechauns recently!!
Ok time for sleep maybe - what a fab topic.
Amber xx
To be honest i hate the idea that there are room titles such as Black guys for white fems and BBW rooms etc - because this describes the person not the act and in describing the person you inevitably run into possible prejudice.
If someone states that they want sex with black only then is that not a prejudice under the guise of choice? what if someone was to say i would prefer sanwiches only made by thin people because I prefer that and its my choice? My guess is that would be considered differently and unnacceptable.
By noticing the difference in colour or size in order to have a preference surely that in itself prejudices against others different no matter how slight that difference.
prej·u·dice
? ?/?pr?d??d?s/ Show Spelled Show IPA noun, verb, -diced, -dic·ing.
–noun
1.
an unfavorable opinion or feeling formed beforehand or without knowledge, thought, or reason.
2.
any preconceived opinion or feeling, either favorable or unfavorable.
3.
unreasonable feelings, opinions, or attitudes, esp. of a hostile nature, regarding a racial, religious, or national group.
4.
such attitudes considered collectively: The war against prejudice is never-ending.
5.
damage or injury; detriment: a law that operated to the prejudice of the majority.
preference (pr?f'?r-?ns, pr?f'r?ns)
n.
1.
The selecting of someone or something over another or others.
2.
The right or chance to so choose.
3.
Someone or something so chosen.
4.
A priority of payment given to one or more creditors by an insolvent debtor.
5.
The right of a creditor to priority of payment.
the point is I think is it right to accept certain prejudices or preferences because they are inevitable and or possibly inherent in us all as long as we can distinguish where the lines are drawn?
but if that is something you enjoy indulging in then thats the night to most definately go :rascal: never thought before it might be construed as any form of discrimination but then we welcome all shapes and sizes we have quite a lot of slim babes join us regularly at these bashes too they just don't discriminate against us as we don't against them hell its just one big love in :inlove: 
. I don't find it offensive in the least, they are merely stating what they are looking for.
