I went on the chat rooms last night, I tend not to use them much these days.
Within minutes of being there names were being mentioned of people that had not showed up for meets, I was a little gob smacked and thought this to be unfair as the person was not there to give their view.
It left me with a feeling is this the way the site is going?
Is verifaction really going on in rooms?
I personally don't like to see this kind of thing happening.
I have always had a feeling it goes on in private but in an open room for all to see did not sit comfortable with me.
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Is verifaction really going on?
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Quote by Theladyisaminx
I went on the chat rooms last night, I tend not to use them much these days.
Within minutes of being there names were being mentioned of people that had not showed up for meets, I was a little gob smacked and thought this to be unfair as the person was not there to give their view.
It left me with a feeling is this the way the site is going?
Is verifaction really going on in rooms?
I personally don't like to see this kind of thing happening.
I have always had a feeling it goes on in private but in an open room for all to see did not sit comfortable with me.
The AUP I am sure has more words than the Bible but on things like this they should crack down pretty hard.
I do not like timewasters, I hate people who make arrangements to meet, then let you down. We have had it a couple of times but....to name names in a room whilst I sympathise with those that have been let down, I am not in total agreement about openly naming them. Am sure somewhere in the AUP it states that.....though could be wrong.
Yes we know it goes on in private, we have warned people ourselves privately about certain people that let us down for no reason at all. I think that is fair to let people you know about the pitfalls of that person.
In an open room, that is not cricket. I have heard this mentioned many times on here about the " name and shame em " but as you rightly say Minxy they are not there to defend themselves which I think they should be if it is done in an open room for all to see.
Sex God
So is it OK to question a "No show no explanation" in an open chatroom? nd if its done is it done to give some sort of satisfaction in a revenge type way to victims of the no-show or to make others aware of them?
Sex God
It is cowardly and unfair to do it in open forum in the absence of the alleged 'no show' party. And should be stamped on. As yet verification is not part of the site's services and if it is it would be done differently wouldn't it.
It has, as you rightly say Minxy, always gone on in private. That could be equally cowardly (gossipy)but it could also be to save a friend from making the same mistake as you - then it is a matter of judgement.
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It has, as you rightly say Minxy, always gone on in private. That could be equally cowardly (gossipy)but it could also be to save a friend from making the same mistake as you - then it is a matter of judgement.
.
Sex God
Shouldn't be happening at all but it does. We can do something about it happening in open chat if you can PM me some details about the room/time etc.
The sad fact is that it does happen, if it's not in open chat you can bet your bottom dollar it's in PM or in person.
To get away from verification in the swinging scene would involve pressing the cancel button and never looking back.
The sad fact is that it does happen, if it's not in open chat you can bet your bottom dollar it's in PM or in person.
To get away from verification in the swinging scene would involve pressing the cancel button and never looking back.
Sex God
I think there is a line between verification and opinion/gossip and I think opinion/gossip is the more dangerous of the two.
Verification implies some kind of criteria based, moderated appraisal of a person/couple. Fiercely resisted on here by some, wanted by many others.
Chatting in chat rooms about people, especially when what you are saying is to their detriment, whether true or not, is potentially more harmful as it is baseless, accusatory and likely to result in tears one way or the other.
Chatting/Opinion on others has ALWAYS gone on however and you are as likely to eradicate it as you are likely to stop people talking about the weather on days like today. In that DG is entirely correct. It'll never stop because for some, comparing notes is often as interesting as the act itself.
The key, I believe, is understanding what is "right" for one person, may not be for another and just because one person has a low opinion of someone, does not mean that their opinion is correct. Regardless of whether they are your friend or not.
Verification implies some kind of criteria based, moderated appraisal of a person/couple. Fiercely resisted on here by some, wanted by many others.
Chatting in chat rooms about people, especially when what you are saying is to their detriment, whether true or not, is potentially more harmful as it is baseless, accusatory and likely to result in tears one way or the other.
Chatting/Opinion on others has ALWAYS gone on however and you are as likely to eradicate it as you are likely to stop people talking about the weather on days like today. In that DG is entirely correct. It'll never stop because for some, comparing notes is often as interesting as the act itself.
The key, I believe, is understanding what is "right" for one person, may not be for another and just because one person has a low opinion of someone, does not mean that their opinion is correct. Regardless of whether they are your friend or not.
Sex God
amazed your shocked... 
Sex God
Quote by Theladyisaminx
amazed your shocked...
Who
You was gobsmacked Minx
Quote by Lost
amazed your shocked...
Who
You was gobsmacked Minx
I was that different names were bounded about in the room for all to see.
Maybe I am being naive, but I have never seen it so openly discussed. I found it harder to believe without the said people not there to defend themselves.
I am aware that prehaps it goes on in private, between individuals you will never stop that.
O well might be why I prefer to have my own room, I would have spoken out then and said I felt that to be unacceptable.
But this is my own opinion of course.
Sex God
We do not have a name and shame policy (Which is what you seem to be referring to rather than a verification system) and if you see it happening, you should report the user via the 'Report this Profile' option so that the chat logs can be checked by Admin.
It it aint reported, then nothing we can do about it.
It it aint reported, then nothing we can do about it.
Sex God
Quote by Theladyisaminx
O well might be why I prefer to have my own room, I would have spoken out then and said I felt that to be unacceptable.
But this is my own opinion of course.
It's the opinion of most and against the AUP.
AUP/terms & conditions
Quote by Admin
We encourage everyone to treat each other respectfully. Do not use the website to threaten, harass, stalk, or abuse others participating in any of the services that we provide through our website
Report it. :thumbup:
Warming the Bed
After being let down numerous times off various websites a feedback facility is a good idea,only positive feedback allowed,but atleast you would know then if person was takes me precious time to get ready and prepare fpr a meet and it so inconsiderate of them not to let you know they cant make it,I am sure some do it for kicks,and usually if you do get the chance to confront them they make such lame not the people talk about timewasters behind their backs that are a problem,its the time wasters themselves.
Quote by flower411
amazed your shocked...
Who
You was gobsmacked Minx
I was that different names were bounded about in the room for all to see.
Maybe I am being naive, but I have never seen it so openly discussed. I found it harder to believe without the said people not there to defend themselves.
I am aware that prehaps it goes on in private, between individuals you will never stop that.
O well might be why I prefer to have my own room, I would have spoken out then and said I felt that to be this is my own opinion of course.
I said something minx :lol: :lol: :lol:
You did indeedy :thumbup:
Sex God
Quote by Karentvxx
After being let down numerous times off various websites a feedback facility is a good idea,only positive feedback allowed,but atleast you would know then if person was takes me precious time to get ready and prepare fpr a meet and it so inconsiderate of them not to let you know they cant make it,I am sure some do it for kicks,and usually if you do get the chance to confront them they make such lame not the people talk about timewasters behind their backs that are a problem,its the time wasters themselves.
That doesn't make it okay to have a discussion about people who are not present in an open chatroom. That will never be the right thing to do.
I'm sure everyone has a story to tell about a timewaster. Neither gossip nor verification will change that. Whether you choose to tell your story or not, in my view, says more about you than it does about the person who let you down so I guess that's a whole different sort of verification.
Quote by Karentvxx
After being let down numerous times off various websites a feedback facility is a good idea,only positive feedback allowed,but atleast you would know then if person was takes me precious time to get ready and prepare fpr a meet and it so inconsiderate of them not to let you know they cant make it,I am sure some do it for kicks,and usually if you do get the chance to confront them they make such lame not the people talk about timewasters behind their backs that are a problem,its the time wasters themselves.
If you are saying only possitive feedback allowed, how would you know if they have shown for one meet, but let 10 others down as well?
I can't see that will get rid of timewasters.
As for talking about someone in public, what happens if someone takes a dislike to you and makes up you are a timewaster. I don't think eithet way is the right way.
I believe we have to be our own judge of people, and take the rough with the smooth, we all have busy lives and it does take time to make an informed judgement by chatting to that person, by listening to others I feel isnt an informed judgement.
But it all depends how much time you are prepared to make before meeting, and we are all different in what we expect and how much time we would allow.
Sex God
This subject has been debated a number of times in the forum. I can think of one just recently and it started in exactly the same way as this one.
I do consider it bad mannered not to inform your meet, for what ever resaon, you are unable to meet. However, in my opinion, it really is extremley rude and bad mannered to deride someone in public especially if they are not there to defend themselves. It's a cowardly act.
Nobody would like to think that a court has sat in their absence and denouced them. That's not justice at all. The individual may have good reason to cancel, or they may be a habitual time waster. The problem I have is lack of knowledge. Are the facts a true record or has someone got a score to settle?
To name and shame may also leave you open to to some form of litigation regarding libel.
I do consider it bad mannered not to inform your meet, for what ever resaon, you are unable to meet. However, in my opinion, it really is extremley rude and bad mannered to deride someone in public especially if they are not there to defend themselves. It's a cowardly act.
Nobody would like to think that a court has sat in their absence and denouced them. That's not justice at all. The individual may have good reason to cancel, or they may be a habitual time waster. The problem I have is lack of knowledge. Are the facts a true record or has someone got a score to settle?
To name and shame may also leave you open to to some form of litigation regarding libel.
Ive been on this site now ( on and off ) for over 7 years, the only meets ive had have been through either the chat room or by bumping into some of you at various clubs... i have lost count of the number of no show's, " lost phone numbers " and general let downs ive had as a result of people replying to my ads, however ive never been let down by anyone in the chatroom..... so why is this? SO lets ask a hyperthetical question, i can only comment as a single guy here but how many couples / single girls / bi girls etc would arrainge a meet with a single guy ( assuming there was a feedback system ) who had no feedback... infact how would a single guy meet anyone if this was the case...
we all partake in this hobby , scene or lifestyle and have come to learn pretty quickly to spot the signs of a messer but one thing I enjoy is my privacy and the reason I have liked this site is that it is fairly discreet... I would not like a review of every meet i have, nor would i like it to be public knowlage.. I use the chatroom and have friends in it, and lets be honest were a friendly bunch and to a certain degree you tend to look out for your chat room buddies so to a certain extent it is allready self regulating..
you have to remember that for those of us that have long standing accounts the majority of the facilities are free on the site and for those new members a fee is imposed... I have known both new and old members have there accounts deleted for one reason or another so again there is a degree of control and selection there... other than that I guess its down tothe indaviduals to use there common sense and be carefull with who they meet and where.
rant over x
we all partake in this hobby , scene or lifestyle and have come to learn pretty quickly to spot the signs of a messer but one thing I enjoy is my privacy and the reason I have liked this site is that it is fairly discreet... I would not like a review of every meet i have, nor would i like it to be public knowlage.. I use the chatroom and have friends in it, and lets be honest were a friendly bunch and to a certain degree you tend to look out for your chat room buddies so to a certain extent it is allready self regulating..
you have to remember that for those of us that have long standing accounts the majority of the facilities are free on the site and for those new members a fee is imposed... I have known both new and old members have there accounts deleted for one reason or another so again there is a degree of control and selection there... other than that I guess its down tothe indaviduals to use there common sense and be carefull with who they meet and where.
rant over x
Sex God
Quote by fella30uk
Ive been on this site now ( on and off ) for over 7 years,
How? The site only started in May 2003!
Sex God
Quote by Cubes
July 18, 2002
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: Oh how times change...
Your #1 free genuine UK Swinging site - "run for Swingers, by Swingers"
:giggle:
Sex God
Quote by Cubes
July 18, 2002
Ooooooo I stand corrected! Always thought it was May 2003.
Still not over 7 years though
Sex God
Quote by Cubes
swingingheaven.co.uk:
Registered on: 10-May-2002
Now stop standing and bend over for more correction! :twisted:
Oooooerrr if you insist :twisted:
Sex God
Quote by Freckledbird
swingingheaven.co.uk:
Registered on: 10-May-2002
Now stop standing and bend over for more correction! :twisted:
Oooooerrr if you insist :twisted:
Can I insist after him??
:twisted:
.
Sex God
Quote by westerross
swingingheaven.co.uk:
Registered on: 10-May-2002
Now stop standing and bend over for more correction! :twisted:
Oooooerrr if you insist :twisted:
Can I insist after him??
:twisted:
.
Ohhhh yeahhhhhh :twisted:
