Hey Mark!!!!!!!
I'm still in here!!!
Overheard at a recent Munch
Three Swinging Heaven women sitting at the bar discussing how much their husbands could get up their crotch.
_____________ said, "My husband can get his whole hand up me".
_____________ said, "My husband can get his whole head up me".
_____________ slid down the bar stool.
:twisted: Will - I dare you! :twisted:
lhk
Kat
I had posted this in another thread.....
However, just let this be a warning to you beer swilling fellahs!
Hiya Jags!!!
It's been really quiet in here today!
Do you like the new Jasmine air freshener??
I'm sure the boys will like it!
I've gone over the sofa with febreeze again!
I was just going to have a G&T - join me in one?
Hugs, Alex x
The One Minute Marriage Counselling Primer . . .
The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it. -- Ann Bancroft
Any husband who says. "My wife and I are completely equal partners," is talking about either a law firm or a hand of bridge. -- Bill Cosby
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. -- Benjamin Franklin
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. -- Henny Youngman
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. -- Rodney Dangerfield
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. -- Milton Berle
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. -- George Burns
When women are depressed, they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking. -- Elaine Boosler
I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the carburettor." I said, "Where's the car?" She said, "In the lake." -- Henny Youngman
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. -- Phyllis Diller
My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping. -- Rita Rudner
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. -- Henny Youngman
People are always asking couples whose marriages have endured at least a quarter of a century for their secret for success. Actually, it is no secret at all. I am a forgiving woman. Long ago, I forgave my
husband for not being Paul Newman. -- Erma Bombeck
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you. "The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine."
How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.
A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful
Yo Alex...
what is the WYSIWSG
the S has me puzzled.... I know I am a bloke of little brain but it aint the usual WYSIWYG...
just asking...
Gmanxxx
Hi Alex - just got permission from Blue to have a glass of wine, it doesn't take so long to pour!! But thanks, and Slainte!
Kate's away, Fred's in hiding, Allgood is working, Will is.....?? Rocky is not here, Mal's being shy and Bassdude is playing away- etc etc etc.
Yep, Jasmine is fine by me, I don't know what a peach smells like but that air freshner wasn't it.
OK.. black and white film for me please. Angels with Dirty Faces perhaps, do you have it? Stick it on the DVD please!
*puts feet up on pouffe, leans head back and starts to relax*
Certainly Jags!
OK - remotes all to hand....
I've prepared a few nibbles to keep us going. I've ordered a take away for later!
Alex is that chinese or Indian...
Gmanxxxx
Is Thai OK Jags?
If not, I can nip in the chinky on the way back!
Ahhhhh that's where Fred has been hiding - do you realise I've polished him twice today! I had to rub for ages to get a nice shine!
Yep, Thai is fine for a change, crispy noodles though, I hate soggy noddles.
Fred is being so good as a footstool, right height, right demeanour and right attitude. My kind of man!! xxxx
Jags???
Did you here a funny noise then??
mmmmmm - best turn the volume up a little!
Alex - only noise I can hear is the noise of whimpering men - is that what you meant???
x xx
A man walked into the ladies department of a John Lewis and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, I'd like to buy a bra for my wife."
"What type of bra?" asked the clerk.
"Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type?"
"Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable. "Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose
rom."
Relieved, the man asked about the types.
The saleslady replied, "There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?
Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them.
The saleslady responded, "It is all really quite simple...
The Catholic type supports the masses.
The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen.
The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright.
And the Baptist makes mountains out of mole hills."
Sorry Sarge, no beer!
Now I am only doing this for your sake - have you seen just how it can cloud your judgement!
woohoo Kat - Fighting talk!
Good job I have been body building!!!
. But here is a little something which I hope will set the correct tone for the weekend. 
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: 
:lol:
:? :?
:hump: 
