There is a lot of love in the air on SH at the minute, and its fab :inlove: :inlove: Its really nice to hear of people meeting and falling in love on SH. (I think I am just a hopeless romantic at heart)
I was pondering a few things this morning to myself, as I was up to my eyes in finger paints, safety scissors and playdough.
Does being a swinger or being in the 'lifestyle' make you more likely to have an affair. Or does it lower the chances.
Have you ever been more than sexually attracted to a person you have had a meet with, and had deeper feelings or fallen in love with/for for them, even though you are with someone.
If so, what happened?? Do you follow your heart or your head, or is it just lust confused with love.
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Casanova
Well i find that this is the first relationship I've been in where i haven't had the wondering eye but i think thats because I'm being told i cant look or fancy or shag other men / woman so i just not feel the need to disobey 
I can safely say we are a SH love match we meet with SH and are it love and still swinging which is great I'm also a old romantic at heart
I can safely say we are a SH love match we meet with SH and are it love and still swinging which is great I'm also a old romantic at heart
Quote by Dizzy_DonnaCouple
Well i find that this is the first relationship I've been in where i haven't had the wondering eye but i think thats because I'm being told i cant look or fancy or shag other men / woman so i just not feel the need to disobey
I can safely say we are a SH love match we meet with SH and are it love and still swinging which is great I'm also a old romantic at heart
donna, thats true, my (vanilla) mates hubby has cheated on her loads, whilst she has never looked at another guy, and it was on the tp of my tongue to suggest joining SH, as I wondered if he had 'carte blanche' to shag other women whether the novelty would be taken away from it and he wouldnt want sex with other women.
Sex God
Quote by de_sade
Have you ever been more than sexually attracted to a person you have had a meet with, and had deeper feelings or fallen in love with/for for them, even though you are with someone.
Whoops...You are dangerously straying into bunny boiler territory. Come back before you do yourself a mischief.
You old romantic you...
There's nothing wrong with being romantic. There's not enough of it I say.
Sex God
Quote by Dizzy_DonnaCouple
Well i find that this is the first relationship I've been in where i haven't had the wondering eye but i think thats because I'm being told i cant look or fancy or shag other men / woman so i just not feel the need to disobey
I can safely say we are a SH love match we meet with SH and are it love and still swinging which is great I'm also a old romantic at heart
How can you swing then, if you can't look/fancy/shag other men/women?
Sex God
Quote by Freckledbird
Well i find that this is the first relationship I've been in where i haven't had the wondering eye but i think thats because I'm being told i cant look or fancy or shag other men / woman so i just not feel the need to disobey
I can safely say we are a SH love match we meet with SH and are it love and still swinging which is great I'm also a old romantic at heart
How can you swing then, if you can't look/fancy/shag other men/women?
Mmmmmmmmmm? The same thought occurred to me, but I thought I was missing something.
:confused:
Sex God
Quote by Bonedigger
Does being a swinger or being in the 'lifestyle' make you more likely to have an affair. Or does it lower the chances.
I'd imagine that would depend on the individual/couple and their motives for swinging.
Have you ever been more than sexually attracted to a person you have had a meet with, and had deeper feelings or fallen in love with/for for them, even though you are with someone.
If so, what happened?? Do you follow your heart or your head, or is it just lust confused with love.
I think maybe you'll only get answers to these questions from those who have split with a partner for a swinging partner, from 'swingles' who have got together, or those whose relationships have failed and they've stayed on the scene then met someone new, from within the scene.
yes FB, I realised as I posted that it was worded wrong (having a numpty moment)
what i wondered was, is it easy to mistake lust for love, or is it always clear cut that its just sex, because its a swinging site, or does having such intimate encounters with people lead to love sometimes creeping unexpectedly into the mix.
(having a numpty moment)what i wondered was, is it easy to mistake lust for love, or is it always clear cut that its just sex, because its a swinging site, or does having such intimate encounters with people lead to love sometimes creeping unexpectedly into the mix.
Sex God
We wouldn't be normal if we didn't have numpty moments, honey!
And no, it's not clear cut. Well, I don't think so anyway.
And no, it's not clear cut. Well, I don't think so anyway.
Quote by Bonedigger
There is a lot of love in the air on SH at the minute, and its fab :inlove: :inlove: Its really nice to hear of people meeting and falling in love on SH. (I think I am just a hopeless romantic at heart)
I was pondering a few things this morning to myself, as I was up to my eyes in finger paints, safety scissors and playdough.
Does being a swinger or being in the 'lifestyle' make you more likely to have an affair. Or does it lower the chances.
Have you ever been more than sexually attracted to a person you have had a meet with, and had deeper feelings or fallen in love with/for for them, even though you are with someone.
If so, what happened?? Do you follow your heart or your head, or is it just lust confused with love.
As for me and miss srne, we have found that swinging does make our relationship far more happy and secure.
We have two lives, one where we are together and are the happiest people in the world (according to us
), and one where we indulge in our carnal pleasures!! :twisted: We are both young, and attractive people with healthy sexual appetites, but above all we are "realists", and by that i mean that we realise that however much we love and fancy each other we will always fancy/be attracted to other people, its human nature we cant help it!!
We feel however, within the terms of relationship security, that we are at a distinct advantage to our "vanilla friends" as we both know of friends who have been "tempted by the fruit of another" (there's a song in there somewhere)and strayed from the partner they were with without his/her knowledge.
We dont do that as we use the site to find suitable couples who we like TOGETHER, we have lots of fun with couples we are mutually attracted to and have the sort of sexy fun our "vanilla friends" could only ever dream about.
I have been asked many a time by my mates "even tho your girlfriend is gorgeous why dont you ever pull other lasses?" I just smile and say "oh you know i guess im just damn faithful" (if only they knew what we got up to they would be green with envy!!
We even have friends who dont like to look at the TV or a magazine if there is another attractive male or female in or on it if their partner is with them, in case it annoys their partner, what is that about? :shock:
Im not saying that they are wrong for being in a non swinging relationship but it makes you think that something must be amiss if they feel the need to cheat on their partner perhaps.
Each to their own and everyone is different and all that good stuff, but all that we know is, since we have been using the site we have never felt closer as we keep our swinging lifestyle and our regular lifestyle completely apart and when we do meet people its as if we are acting out that "other part of ourselves" that comes out once in a while (if you guysd understand what i mean?)
Quote by Freckledbird
Well i find that this is the first relationship I've been in where i haven't had the wondering eye but i think thats because I'm being told i cant look or fancy or shag other men / woman so i just not feel the need to disobey
I can safely say we are a SH love match we meet with SH and are it love and still swinging which is great I'm also a old romantic at heart
How can you swing then, if you can't look/fancy/shag other men/women?
Im hoping she means im NOT being told i cant........
as if not it kind of makes you wonder what the whole purpose of the cpl swinging is?
Hopefully Dizzy Donna was having a Dizzy moment and forgot to include the NOT bit :lol:
Quote by Srne
As for me and miss srne, we have found that swinging does make our relationship far more happy and secure.
We have two lives, one where we are together and are the happiest people in the world (according to us
We are both young, and attractive people with healthy sexual appetites, but above all we are "realists", and by that i mean that we realise that however much we love and fancy each other we will always fancy/be attracted to other people, its human nature we cant help it!!
We feel however, within the terms of relationship security, that we are at a distinct advantage to our "vanilla friends" as we both know of friends who have been "tempted by the fruit of another" (there's a song in there somewhere)and strayed from the partner they were with without his/her knowledge.
We dont do that as we use the site to find suitable couples who we like TOGETHER, we have lots of fun with couples we are mutually attracted to and have the sort of sexy fun our "vanilla friends" could only ever dream about. ...
I had been going to start a thread on swinging and marriage (or whatever you want to call committed relationships) but this post by Srne seems to answer everything.
Being at the other end of the age scale and having lived through a long relationship that eventually fell apart I have wondered whether a little more sexual freedom might not have 'saved the day'.
I doubt if marriage counsellors suggest swinging as a solution to relationship problems - probably too late by then - but to have started out with this open-minded approach sounds an ideal way of giving a relationship a good chance of succeeding.
Best of luck, guys
Quote by Bonedigger
There is a lot of love in the air on SH at the minute, and its fab :inlove: :inlove: Its really nice to hear of people meeting and falling in love on SH. (I think I am just a hopeless romantic at heart)
I was pondering a few things this morning to myself, as I was up to my eyes in finger paints, safety scissors and playdough.
Does being a swinger or being in the 'lifestyle' make you more likely to have an affair. Or does it lower the chances.
Have you ever been more than sexually attracted to a person you have had a meet with, and had deeper feelings or fallen in love with/for for them, even though you are with someone.
If so, what happened?? Do you follow your heart or your head, or is it just lust confused with love.
Loads of questions here hun, but you don't give your views?
It depends on the solidity of the relationship as to whether you start swinging or not in the first place, so in my opinion if someone is likely to stray they'd probably do it regardless of swinging.
In some cases, isn't swinging a form of "consented" affairs?
In saying that, some may see it as giving partners the chance to explore but knowing about it makes the difference? who knows
Swinging for us has deepened our sexual relationship and I would think for us we wouldn't need to have an affair as we have it all right in front of us.
Sex God
Quote by Bonedigger
There is a lot of love in the air on SH at the minute, and its fab :inlove: :inlove: Its really nice to hear of people meeting and falling in love on SH. (I think I am just a hopeless romantic at heart)
I was pondering a few things this morning to myself, as I was up to my eyes in finger paints, safety scissors and playdough.
I do similar!
Does being a swinger or being in the 'lifestyle' make you more likely to have an affair. Or does it lower the chances.
Very much depends on the individal circumstances of a couple's relationship, however I suspect that for solid couples it keeps it where it was before, an extremely low chance, having your cake and eating it comes to mind. For couples with trust or communication issues, I would imagine the chance is somewhat increased. Again this is just my opinion, but I suspect that women and men who get insufficient 'emotional' love at home and may be drawn to swinging as a purely sexual idea will more easily be drawn into confusing lust and love. Having attention from someone else other than your partner can be extremely powerful.
Have you ever been more than sexually attracted to a person you have had a meet with, and had deeper feelings or fallen in love with/for for them, even though you are with someone.
I have been drawn into tremendous lust, yes, and become fond of people, but that's where it stops. Full stop.
If so, what happened?? Do you follow your heart or your head, or is it just lust confused with love.
pink x
You are quite right Jaymar, I dont give my views in the first post, as I like to gauge others views before I offer mine (going back to the hostile responses thread....am a bit of a scaredy cat when it comes to offering my views )
I think that pink uses a good phrase in 'having your cake and eating it' Up until we joined swingers, I had never had another sexual partner (having been with Mr Bone since I was 14). The thought had skittered across the vast expanses of my mind occasionally over the years, of what it would have been like had I had other guys before settling down with Mr B, and during our rocky times, I admit I did think of having an affair.
So when we finally joined, I was like a kid in a candy store :lol: and I really do think that it has taken away the need to stray, and made our relationship stronger. It has also boosted our sex life, as we fantasise about meets we have had, or meets we could have had,
We have not had a lot of meets so far, but what we have had, have all been good experiences in one way or another, even if we have just come out of it with new friends.
As for falling for someone.....I'm not planning to :lol: but I can imagine that those with less solid relationships, or with a lack of emotional love in their own relationships could seek it elsewhere, and if they feel that they lack the real love from their own partner, they could find it in the arms of another.
But I think that its only the strongest relationships that last longest in the swinging lifestyle. People with issues, come and go when they find its not what they thought it was going to be.
so all in all, I think we a good choice to join SH, and not one I regret at all (will have to see what Mr B thinks!!!)
)I think that pink uses a good phrase in 'having your cake and eating it' Up until we joined swingers, I had never had another sexual partner (having been with Mr Bone since I was 14). The thought had skittered across the vast expanses of my mind occasionally over the years, of what it would have been like had I had other guys before settling down with Mr B, and during our rocky times, I admit I did think of having an affair.
So when we finally joined, I was like a kid in a candy store :lol: and I really do think that it has taken away the need to stray, and made our relationship stronger. It has also boosted our sex life, as we fantasise about meets we have had, or meets we could have had,
We have not had a lot of meets so far, but what we have had, have all been good experiences in one way or another, even if we have just come out of it with new friends.
As for falling for someone.....I'm not planning to :lol: but I can imagine that those with less solid relationships, or with a lack of emotional love in their own relationships could seek it elsewhere, and if they feel that they lack the real love from their own partner, they could find it in the arms of another.
But I think that its only the strongest relationships that last longest in the swinging lifestyle. People with issues, come and go when they find its not what they thought it was going to be.
so all in all, I think we a good choice to join SH, and not one I regret at all
(will have to see what Mr B thinks!!!) Sex God
Mrs B, you're brave enough to start threads - don't be scared to give your opinion. It is kind of customary for people starting threads, to answer their own questions before expecting others to give theirs.
Quote by Bonedigger
You are quite right Jaymar, I dont give my views in the first post, as I like to gauge others views before I offer mine (going back to the hostile responses thread....am a bit of a scaredy cat when it comes to offering my views
I think that pink uses a good phrase in 'having your cake and eating it' Up until we joined swingers, I had never had another sexual partner (having been with Mr Bone since I was 14). The thought had skittered across the vast expanses of my mind occasionally over the years, of what it would have been like had I had other guys before settling down with Mr B, and during our rocky times, I admit I did think of having an affair.
So when we finally joined, I was like a kid in a candy store :lol: and I really do think that it has taken away the need to stray, and made our relationship stronger. It has also boosted our sex life, as we fantasise about meets we have had, or meets we could have had,
We have not had a lot of meets so far, but what we have had, have all been good experiences in one way or another, even if we have just come out of it with new friends.
As for falling for someone.....I'm not planning to :lol: but I can imagine that those with less solid relationships, or with a lack of emotional love in their own relationships could seek it elsewhere, and if they feel that they lack the real love from their own partner, they could find it in the arms of another.
But I think that its only the strongest relationships that last longest in the swinging lifestyle. People with issues, come and go when they find its not what they thought it was going to be.
so all in all, I think we a good choice to join SH, and not one I regret at all
I dont do this very often but here goes. :thumbup: Good post!!
Quote by Bonedigger
You are quite right Jaymar, I dont give my views in the first post, as I like to gauge others views before I offer mine (going back to the hostile responses thread....am a bit of a scaredy cat when it comes to offering my views
I think that pink uses a good phrase in 'having your cake and eating it' Up until we joined swingers, I had never had another sexual partner (having been with Mr Bone since I was 14). The thought had skittered across the vast expanses of my mind occasionally over the years, of what it would have been like had I had other guys before settling down with Mr B, and during our rocky times, I admit I did think of having an affair.
So when we finally joined, I was like a kid in a candy store :lol: and I really do think that it has taken away the need to stray, and made our relationship stronger. It has also boosted our sex life, as we fantasise about meets we have had, or meets we could have had,
We have not had a lot of meets so far, but what we have had, have all been good experiences in one way or another, even if we have just come out of it with new friends.
As for falling for someone.....I'm not planning to :lol: but I can imagine that those with less solid relationships, or with a lack of emotional love in their own relationships could seek it elsewhere, and if they feel that they lack the real love from their own partner, they could find it in the arms of another.
But I think that its only the strongest relationships that last longest in the swinging lifestyle. People with issues, come and go when they find its not what they thought it was going to be.
so all in all, I think we a good choice to join SH, and not one I regret at all
I dont do this very often but here goes. :thumbup: Good post!!
Quote by Freckledbird
Mrs B, you're brave enough to start threads - don't be scared to give your opinion. It is kind of customary for people starting threads, to answer their own questions before expecting others to give theirs.
Duly noted FB, and I shall endeavour to follow your kind advice in the future.
**makes a mental note to be more assertive
** Casanova
Srne Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 4:38 pm Post subject:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Freckledbird wrote:
Dizzy_DonnaCouple wrote:
Well i find that this is the first relationship I've been in where i haven't had the wondering eye but i think thats because I'm being told i cant look or fancy or shag other men / woman so i just not feel the need to disobey
I can safely say we are a SH love match we meet with SH and are it love and still swinging which is great I'm also a old romantic at heart
How can you swing then, if you can't look/fancy/shag other men/women?
Im hoping she means im NOT being told i cant........
as if not it kind of makes you wonder what the whole purpose of the cpl swinging is?
Hopefully Dizzy Donna was having a Dizzy moment and forgot to include the NOT bit
yes i was having a dizzy moment and a typing like a blonde
oh wait i am blonde :lol: I still have a good look but bronty likes me saying how sexy a woman is :lol: 
Orgasminator
Quote by Cherrytree
Have you ever been more than sexually attracted to a person you have had a meet with, and had deeper feelings or fallen in love with/for for them, even though you are with someone
yes.
No.
We've had some unforgettable times.
But never had deeper feelings for anyone.
Quote by jaymar
Swinging for us has deepened our sexual relationship and I would think for us we wouldn't need to have an affair as we have it all right in front of us.
We agree with that, completely
xx
I certainly think it has and does happen, judging by a pm from someones wife I had last year (not going into details - but I didnt even know anything about the guy) and also seen a few angry posts over the years.
Me, nope...... I dont meet........simple as! Ive been to many munches/socials and never ever seen/talked to anyone I fancied! (Though have met some Ive liked/like a lot) Im a fussy moo with food, even worse with men
:? :?
Cherrytree
:kiss:
Me, nope...... I dont meet........simple as! Ive been to many munches/socials and never ever seen/talked to anyone I fancied! (Though have met some Ive liked/like a lot) Im a fussy moo with food, even worse with men
:? :?Cherrytree
:kiss: 
Sex God
Quote by anais
I certainly think it has and does happen, judging by a pm from someones wife I had last year (not going into details - but I didnt even know anything about the guy) and also seen a few angry posts over the years.
Me, nope...... I dont meet........simple as! Ive been to many munches/socials and never ever seen/talked to anyone I fancied! (Though have met some Ive liked/like a lot) Im a fussy moo with food, even worse with men
Cherrytree
good topic - in the nature of things i cant see it not happening.
Anais!! you little wicca wench
just half an hour in your compant and feels like i been shagged fer hours ! 
But hey what a feeling phwooooooooaaaaaaarrrrrrr :lol2:
Quote by Lost
I certainly think it has and does happen, judging by a pm from someones wife I had last year (not going into details - but I didnt even know anything about the guy) and also seen a few angry posts over the years.
Me, nope...... I dont meet........simple as! Ive been to many munches/socials and never ever seen/talked to anyone I fancied! (Though have met some Ive liked/like a lot) Im a fussy moo with food, even worse with men
Cherrytree
good topic - in the nature of things i cant see it not happening.
Anais!! you little wicca wench
just half an hour in your compant and feels like i been shagged fer hours ! But hey what a feeling phwooooooooaaaaaaarrrrrrr :lol2:
Im hard work arent I? :lol: :lol: :lol:
Quote by bonedigger
Have you ever been more than sexually attracted to a person you have had a meet with, and had deeper feelings or fallen in love with/for for them, even though you are with someone.
If so, what happened?? Do you follow your heart or your head, or is it just lust confused with love.
Ummmm I actually believe that you are able to be 'in love' with more than one person at anyone time. (polyamory). So my 'falling' for someone was only a problem because they didn't feel the same way.
As this is a swinging site I could hardly hold them responsible for my feelings and have shoved it into my 'bad decisions' corner. This has meant that I have had to just look at the good points of the experience and what I got from them sexually. Enjoy that I had the cosy feelings but distance myself from them to give myself the chance to change my feelings or live with them. (I think that my feelings haven't changed but getting the distance has enabled me to live with them)
Love is afterall a pleasurable emotion so I have enjoyed what I have learnt.
'Wor Lass' has always been aware of my beliefs about being able to love more than one person so has never felt threatened by my feelings for another person. We discussed it at great length and still do. It is an experience and we are both hedonists so are always interested in pleasure and how it can be enjoyed and shared.
What would have happened if they returned my feelings ?? I don't know. They don't.
splendid
Quote by Bonedigger
Mrs B, you're brave enough to start threads - don't be scared to give your opinion. It is kind of customary for people starting threads, to answer their own questions before expecting others to give theirs.
Duly noted FB, and I shall endeavour to follow your kind advice in the future.
**makes a mental note to be more assertive
**I second this! I was interested to see what your views are as you are a very intelligant woman (and a very good cook to boot! :lickface: )
Hi All,
First post. I am sure that swingers are much less prone to having affairs. Three things cause problems for couples: sex, violence and money. Swinging as a couple deals with the first and needs deep trust and communication which makes the second unlikely and helps with the third.
However where it is not an equal decision then it will quickly crystallise underlying tensions.
Q
First post. I am sure that swingers are much less prone to having affairs. Three things cause problems for couples: sex, violence and money. Swinging as a couple deals with the first and needs deep trust and communication which makes the second unlikely and helps with the third.
However where it is not an equal decision then it will quickly crystallise underlying tensions.
Q
Sex God
Quote by Quiet
Hi All,
First post. I am sure that swingers are much less prone to having affairs. Three things cause problems for couples: sex, violence and money. Swinging as a couple deals with the first and needs deep trust and communication which makes the second unlikely and helps with the third.
However where it is not an equal decision then it will quickly crystallise underlying tensions.
Q
Absolutely :thumbup:
Welcome to the forum
