A month or so ago, Reese and I went to Amsterdam and got more than we bargained for. We had a wonderful MMF experience that was just... right. It was not planned and just happened and we were all very comfortable.
Then, last Saturday, the chap came to visit us. Unplanned visit, just turned up. Wer knew he was in the UK, so knew this might happen, and that was great.
We get back to 'ours' after sitting in the pub and play drinking games, twister, all the usual crap.
Time comes to go to bed and go to bed we do.
Now, the next morning (after about round three) I get up and go clean my teeth and it is all I can do to not throw up.
You know, I felt horrible. I felt that I did what I did because I felt 'obliged' to do so. You know.. there was a chair, he sat on it, there was a bed, he lay in it, there was a Vic... he screwed it.
Reese is upset because I got upset. I did not show to the chap that I was upset (I hope) but, I really should have. He totally took us fror granted and I hate myself for that.
What's all that about??
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Made a bit of a prat of meself.
(((((((((((((Vix)))))))))))))
Thankyou so much for posting this, but I am really sorry it turned out to be such a bad experiance for you. I know how important friendship is to you both, so feeling that you were both seen as sex objects only must have made you feel bad. I think a post like this is a good reminder to everyone not to take things for granted. I wonder if the other guy did though? He came all the way from Amsterdam and made time see you two, that`s a good friend. I can understand you being cross and Reese upset at the lack of communication (the lack was shortlived by the sounds of things) but what doesn`t break us only makes us stronger.........you live and learn.
You two have lots more experiance than me, I`m bound to make some class mistakes myself!
Hugs to you both
Venusxxx
Thankyou so much for posting this, but I am really sorry it turned out to be such a bad experiance for you. I know how important friendship is to you both, so feeling that you were both seen as sex objects only must have made you feel bad. I think a post like this is a good reminder to everyone not to take things for granted. I wonder if the other guy did though? He came all the way from Amsterdam and made time see you two, that`s a good friend. I can understand you being cross and Reese upset at the lack of communication (the lack was shortlived by the sounds of things) but what doesn`t break us only makes us stronger.........you live and learn.
You two have lots more experiance than me, I`m bound to make some class mistakes myself!
Hugs to you both
Venusxxx
Personally I don't think you made a prat of yourself at all. So if it's possible to re edit titles after posting them (probably not I know) I think you should 
You just got caught up with something that as you said you felt obliged to do. I don't think it was right for the guy just to turn up and expect for things to happen even if you did get on so well in Amsterdam. It's just common courtesy to arrange things beforehand.
You just got caught up with something that as you said you felt obliged to do. I don't think it was right for the guy just to turn up and expect for things to happen even if you did get on so well in Amsterdam. It's just common courtesy to arrange things beforehand. The stuff I finally posted here is what I wanted to talk to you about, Venus. Thought you might like to know that sometimes it can go wrong.
Sheesh, I have never felt 'dirty' in my life, before, but believe me I have BEEN dirty and loved it. He made me feel crap!
I really should have said/done something at the time, but I was afraid of being impolite (FFS!!)
Sheesh, I have never felt 'dirty' in my life, before, but believe me I have BEEN dirty and loved it. He made me feel crap!
I really should have said/done something at the time, but I was afraid of being impolite (FFS!!)
Sex God
Quote by Vix
Reese is upset because I got upset. I did not show to the chap that I was upset (I hope) but, I really should have. He totally took us fror granted and I hate myself for that.
Indeed. Being taken for granted like that is a horrible experience. The thing I was most upset about was the fact that you didn't speak up. Please, don't ever let it get to the point that you're feeling bad about yourself - nothing is worth that. At the very least, if you feel that you don't want to say something to our "guest", PLEASE take me aside and let me know how you feel...and I'll certainly take the initative and put a stop to it.
ILY, ya know...and nothing is more important or meaningful than that. :love: :love: :love:
~Reese!
Quote by Reese
ILY, ya know...and nothing is more important or meaningful than that. :love: :love: :love:
~Reese!
:smile2:
A very important sentiment and often misplaced.
Vix more hugs ..... I've been in "dirty" situations previously and can relate. I hope now you've "vocalised" your feelings it helps?
I`ll definately bear this in mind Vix. Noone should have to feel dirty, thankyou for sharing. I`ll make it clear to anyone that we swing with that future forays will be discussed each time.
And you are NOT dirty, if you were you wouldn`t feel so bad.
No offense to any dirty peeps out there
Venusxxx
And you are NOT dirty, if you were you wouldn`t feel so bad.
No offense to any dirty peeps out there
Venusxxx
Quote by musketeer
I guess there will always be times when the most convenient excuse for ladies is that it's "the time of the month". Solves a lot of situations and cannot cause offence.
Thing is, I really didn't begin to feel bad until this excuse would obviously have been a lie.
Just the way he was using me, like I said, like a chair or a bed or another bit of furniture. This was so unlike the respectful person we met in the Netherlands, that I was quite taken aback.
Why should I feel the need to protect his feelings? I am enraged at myself for behaving like this and not just saying "Gerrof!" like I wanted to. I mean, I am not usually backward in coming forward!
Quote by Vix
I guess there will always be times when the most convenient excuse for ladies is that it's "the time of the month". Solves a lot of situations and cannot cause offence.
Thing is, I really didn't begin to feel bad until this excuse would obviously have been a lie.
Just the way he was using me, like I said, like a chair or a bed or another bit of furniture. This was so unlike the respectful person we met in the Netherlands, that I was quite taken aback.
Why should I feel the need to protect his feelings? I am enraged at myself for behaving like this and not just saying "Gerrof!" like I wanted to. I mean, I am not usually backward in coming forward!
Cos you are nice? :love:
I wouldn`t dissect it too much, not if you still feel so bad about it. Concentrate on the positives it brought out, like that beautiful post from Reese
Venusxxx
Quote by Vix
I guess there will always be times when the most convenient excuse for ladies is that it's "the time of the month". Solves a lot of situations and cannot cause offence.
Thing is, I really didn't begin to feel bad until this excuse would obviously have been a lie.
Just the way he was using me, like I said, like a chair or a bed or another bit of furniture. This was so unlike the respectful person we met in the Netherlands, that I was quite taken aback.
Why should I feel the need to protect his feelings? I am enraged at myself for behaving like this and not just saying "Gerrof!" like I wanted to. I mean, I am not usually backward in coming forward!
I think we can all feel like this sometimes. I'm very much a "forward" person (albeit quite shy) when I am confident, perhaps because it was on home ground so to speak, that is why it was so bad? There was nowhere to hide .. .and in your own home. does that make sense
Sex God
Quote by Vix
I love you too, ya know. Did I tell you, lately?
Yes, I do know - it's the most wonderful feeling, too! And, yes, you have told me recently, but don't ever stop - and nor shall I - as it's a sentiment that bears repeating, frequently, imho. :love: :love: :love:
Loving You,
Always & All Ways,
For Ever & Forever,
R
XXX :smitten:
Just to let you know that it can happen to men as well.
When me and wifey first got interested in trying something, I got chatting to a woman on another site and because we didn't know any different at the time, I arranged to meet her.
The hotel was duly booked and off I drove. Because it was the first time that I had done anything, I was very keen on the meet.
The moment I met her I knew it was going to be a disaster. There was absolutely no chemistry for me but I felt obliged to stay because I wasn't confident to be able to turn around and leave.
As you can imagine, the inevitable happened, or should I say didn't happen, and I could not wait to get away at a suitable moment.
Probably won't make you feel better about what happened but I've learnt something from it, and Vix I am sure you will.
Rich
When me and wifey first got interested in trying something, I got chatting to a woman on another site and because we didn't know any different at the time, I arranged to meet her.
The hotel was duly booked and off I drove. Because it was the first time that I had done anything, I was very keen on the meet.
The moment I met her I knew it was going to be a disaster. There was absolutely no chemistry for me but I felt obliged to stay because I wasn't confident to be able to turn around and leave.
As you can imagine, the inevitable happened, or should I say didn't happen, and I could not wait to get away at a suitable moment.
Probably won't make you feel better about what happened but I've learnt something from it, and Vix I am sure you will.
Rich
Quote by Reese
I love you too, ya know. Did I tell you, lately?
Yes, I do know - it's the most wonderful feeling, too! And, yes, you have told me recently, but don't ever stop - and nor shall I - as it's a sentiment that bears repeating, frequently, imho. :love: :love: :love:
Loving You,
Always & All Ways,
For Ever & Forever,
R
XXX :smitten:
Sorry, had to be done! :grin:
Venusxxx
Evening all,
Vix,
Try not to fret too much about what must have been an uncomfortable and frustrating time for you. From the little i know about you from reading your posts and viewing your website i believe that you are more than strong enough to get over this set back and continue to enjoy yourself. Perhaps if you sit down and talk it through with Reese
you will be able to overcome this problem and figure out ways to communicate in an uncomfortable situation.
I would just like to say what a fantastic idea you have had to raise money for the MS foundation and congratulate you on your success so far. Please dont let a selfish self centred man make you feel bad about yourself. With all the charity work you have done you should always be able to walk round with your head held high.
Cheer up chuck
Rudolf
Calista wrote
Calista with a stunning avatar like that i cant believe that your shy lol.
Vix,
Try not to fret too much about what must have been an uncomfortable and frustrating time for you. From the little i know about you from reading your posts and viewing your website i believe that you are more than strong enough to get over this set back and continue to enjoy yourself. Perhaps if you sit down and talk it through with Reese
you will be able to overcome this problem and figure out ways to communicate in an uncomfortable situation.
I would just like to say what a fantastic idea you have had to raise money for the MS foundation and congratulate you on your success so far. Please dont let a selfish self centred man make you feel bad about yourself. With all the charity work you have done you should always be able to walk round with your head held high.
Cheer up chuck
Rudolf
Calista wrote
I'm very much a "forward" person (albeit quite shy)
Calista with a stunning avatar like that i cant believe that your shy lol.
here I was getting all teary eyed.. and battabing!! Thansk to Venus I will now link romantic jestures to throwing up!!!
:twisted:
As a single guy, I meet with a great couple and I just hope that when I am with them I don't make them feel obliged to get down and do it.... I think we relax and then get into if the feeling is right... not just jump into their bed and do the deed!!
It was a shame for you I know but perhaps if you set the boundaries before the night then you could feel better in yourself and thankfully Reese sounds as though he is the pillar you need!
Sorry that you felt like shit! Hell Enjoy yourself!
:twisted:
As a single guy, I meet with a great couple and I just hope that when I am with them I don't make them feel obliged to get down and do it.... I think we relax and then get into if the feeling is right... not just jump into their bed and do the deed!!
It was a shame for you I know but perhaps if you set the boundaries before the night then you could feel better in yourself and thankfully Reese sounds as though he is the pillar you need!
Sorry that you felt like shit! Hell Enjoy yourself!
Hiya Vix,
I cant ever imagine being in a situation where i would feel obliged to do something i didnt want to,Its easy to say that i wouldnt have let him but like yourself you never know how youll react until your in that situation yourself.
So sorry to hear that you felt so awful afterwards and i hope that it hasnt put you off in the future.
We have a rule ourselves of really getting to know people first and the first time we meet to just meet socially for a drink and see if theres anything way there is no presumtions that anything is going to happen,unless everyone agrees and we'll then meet again.
I hope you feel better asap,
Clare,xxx
I cant ever imagine being in a situation where i would feel obliged to do something i didnt want to,Its easy to say that i wouldnt have let him but like yourself you never know how youll react until your in that situation yourself.
So sorry to hear that you felt so awful afterwards and i hope that it hasnt put you off in the future.
We have a rule ourselves of really getting to know people first and the first time we meet to just meet socially for a drink and see if theres anything way there is no presumtions that anything is going to happen,unless everyone agrees and we'll then meet again.
I hope you feel better asap,
Clare,xxx
People are funny in most things. The guy was possibly the sort of person you get who always takes things for granted. I think we all suffer these folk and learn a lesson. Sorry it came to this but it wont happen again. I think reese was well to be upset and I think if he was not you would think less of him...he sounds a really nice and thinking of you chap. I would have been tempted to slam the door and tell him to piss off, but then I have been walked on by many for being to easy going. I am currently removing the tattoo on my forehead that says MUG and it helps...
:cry: Sorry for you but then you know it wont happen again...
:cry: Sorry for you but then you know it wont happen again...
I think theres a bit of a natural response to sex. a Kind of post-sex come down. Like when you take some strong drugs and you have a come down off them n theres a natural tendency to feel a little guilty about it.
This probably goes no way to being close to what happened to you but... If i spend the whole day chilling out and revellingin all the things i enjoy doing. I naturally have a sickly guilty feeling for spending the day having so much fun.
Even with sex
hmm must be something wrong with me
Maybe i shoul;d just enjoy having fun n not feel to guilty about it anymore
This probably goes no way to being close to what happened to you but... If i spend the whole day chilling out and revellingin all the things i enjoy doing. I naturally have a sickly guilty feeling for spending the day having so much fun.
Even with sex
hmm must be something wrong with meMaybe i shoul;d just enjoy having fun n not feel to guilty about it anymore
Sex God
Quote by clarensteve
We have a rule ourselves of really getting to know people first and the first time we meet to just meet socially for a drink and see if theres anything way there is no presumtions that anything is going to happen,unless everyone agrees and we'll then meet again.
Clare~
This was actually our second experience with that particular gentleman (and I use the term "gentleman" loosely). The first one was when we were in Amsterdam about two months ago, and it was fine. We all fell together quite naturally, and he was respectful and considerate. It was our second threesome experience together when he turned out to be a total prat. I guess he figured, "been there, done that," so it was taken as read. How dare he have such expectations?! In contrast to our comparatively pleasant first time together, he was inconsiderate and presumptuous. Was truly sad, as he seemed otherwise to be a fairly nice bloke. In bed, however, his manners were totally deplorable this time - and I simply cannot abide by anyone showing such blatant disrespect for the love of my life.
Quote by VenusnMars
Sorry, had to be done! :grin:
Venus~
You think that's bad? You shoulda seen us way back in the early days when I was stuck 4,300 miles away in America and the 'net was our only means of communication for many months!
~Reese!
I've been a mixture of touched and disgusted by this post......
Touched because of how much you guys love each other so openly on here.....it's amazing to see, and I'm priveleged that you would let us witness it.....(yes I know I'm a soppy so-and-so LoL)
And disgusted that this guy would so blatantly take advantage of you and just assume that because you had one experience previously you would do it again......in future I hope that you don't ever come up against this experience again and I hope it doesn't put you off future threesomes or fun with other people.....
*Hugs* from Helen (sorry, couldn't be bothered to find the proper smiley)
Touched because of how much you guys love each other so openly on here.....it's amazing to see, and I'm priveleged that you would let us witness it.....(yes I know I'm a soppy so-and-so LoL)
And disgusted that this guy would so blatantly take advantage of you and just assume that because you had one experience previously you would do it again......in future I hope that you don't ever come up against this experience again and I hope it doesn't put you off future threesomes or fun with other people.....
*Hugs* from Helen (sorry, couldn't be bothered to find the proper smiley)
