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married men who pretend to be single

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I know that everyone has the right to be a member of a chat/swingers site, but is it right that there are men out there who swear they are single but are concealing the fact that there is a wife and kids out there.
It is not wrong if the wife knows what the husband gets up to, and is happy for the husband to play and have fun. But in my considered opinion it is very wrong for a husband to play/swing behind his wifes back.
If these persons are found out is it wrong of me to think they should be outed??
Quote by thewet1
If these persons are found out is it wrong of me to think they should be outed??

In my opinion, yes it is very wrong to suggest these people are *outed* :shock:
You may chose not to get involved with such folk, but at the end of the day, what the heck has it got to do with you anyway?
What other people get up to is entirely their own business. They make their own life choices, good or bad, as do we all.
I should hate to think other people are sitting in judgement of others on this site. Surely as a sexually liberated group, we get enough of that in the outside vanilla world don't we? confused
I might also point out, we do not condone naming and shaming on this site, in any shape or form :?
Oh and what has this got to do with the Chatroom? rolleyes
TJ
well said redhot
People may have many reasons not ro reviel their married status....................and most on here are not looking to find a sole mate or a permanent partner.
In the end it boils down to personal choice and fun so lets try keep it that way.
Happy New Year
lol
Am in total agreement with RedHot's reply regarding being judgmental on others.
For whatever reason each of us joined this site we are all here for basically the same thing which is to enjoy our lives they way we want to lead it. Would it be right if someone wanted to judge us merely because we have a different view to sexual liberation than they have?
Society is all to quick to put labels on people yet here each are treated as individuals and above all else we can be open with each other about our choice.
As for naming and shaming a married man merely because he's a member of the site and for what ever reason doesn't wish his family to know. Would any of us like to be 'outed' because of our membership on here?
I think not!
It's a very difficult decision to make if ever going to tell vanilla friends in our lives about this side of us. Many would/could not understand our reasons for being here so leaving them in ignorance is often easier for them.
Only one final note personally I do find it a shame when people who join as a couple but then break up they frequently fail to change their membership status back to single.
Have encountered this a couple of times and the person concerned admit they are now a single and will change status shortly yet a couple of months later are still around as a couple.
:smile2:
ps. being fairly new the forum myself it's often not easy to work out what place to use for a posting. Though suspect the Cafe would have been a better place for this thread yet we all have to start somewhere and no doubt I'll make a few more errr mistakes too. Sure some of the regulars to the forum will help out when I do. :smile:
...and married women.
Lets be up front with each other.
Should we name and shame? NO! We do not have all the facts! It is not our reason to be here. I am here for fun.
I am hunting for fun not victims.
And this is a chatroom issue because dunno
The forums are just as likely to be home to members who lie about their marital status.....
And as has been said.........Basically anyway...
Let he who is without sin and all that wink
*edit......Moved forums while typing redface*
There are lots of married / attached people on here , there here for many reasons.
I'm not married but could be called attached , if i'm asked I dont hide it .. I tell most people before I meet them or during our first meeting. I have reasons why I'm here and if the people i meet care enough to ask why i tell them and I dont think I should be 'outed' because I dont fit what some think is 'right and normal'.
As for the married men that were first mentioned ... they proberly have there reasons too for being here ... I dont have any quarms about meeting married guys , its nice tho if they say they are.
Now i'm going to duck my head and wait for the tar and feathers to be thrown at me !
M_N XxX
Quote by ms_naughty
Now i'm going to duck my head and wait for the tar and feathers to be thrown at me !
M_N XxX

I cant see why people would tar and feather dunno
No-onehere has the right to judgeanyone on their reasons for being here..
We have done and will meet married guys.(and we know many who do as well)
Its none of our business why they are here and we cannot do anything to solve any problems they may or may not have in their personal lives..
I'm a married man on here behind my partners back. Everyone assumes men do it just for a 'bit of extra / on the side' but that isn't always the case. I wont fill you in with all my details, as they are far too personal but please don't tar us all with the same brush x
I agree with most we have met with an nice bloke and yes hes married and his wife dosen't know and that has nothing to do with us.
But (there is always a but) honesty is what counts if the guy is honest at the begining thats fine, when you get guys
A) pretending to be a couple when there single
B) if they are married pretening there wife know (when the wife know nothing) and makeing out they swing as a couple but when you meet up the the wife as had a sudden illness or is shopping for 12hrs in italy or has suddenly had to go to there mother kids are ill etc then i do have a problem with that
Honesty thats what counts Honesty
Quote by RedHot
You may chose not to get involved with such folk, but at the end of the day, what the heck has it got to do with you anyway?
What other people get up to is entirely their own business. They make their own life choices, good or bad, as do we all.

Agreed and well said TJ :thumbup:
The whole Dogging scene would fall apart if every 'single' man in a carpark had to prove just that... with (often) anonymous encounters such as those usually found whilst out Dogging nobody usually knows who the feck anyone is... that's half the fun of it I think - i.e. the spontaneity biggrin
Hmm
Not sure about this. The post could be read in 2 ways.
I agree that someones personal life is just that - personal.
Now I have no business inteferring in other people's relationships, but I like to be able to choose who I swing with.
I choose not to swing with people who are here without their partners knowledge - other people prefer to swing with single married guys as they feel they will be more discreet.
So whilst I wouldn't want to "out" them to their families and friends I started thinking:
What if I we had met a guy from here who swore he was single and then I got a bit cheesed off because I found out he'd lied to us? OK I'd be annoyed, but I'd just but it down to experience and leave it at that.
But, if someone I knew off this site was planning on playing with them and I knew that they didn't want to play with married men. Should I tell them what I know?dunno
That's my dilemma
Blimey :shock: this is a far cry from responses in similar 'married but here as a single' threads we've had before dunno
Quote by HornyLittleBlonde
But, if someone I knew off this site was planning on playing with them and I knew that they didn't want to play with married men. Should I tell them what I know? dunno
That's my dilemma

Thats a toughie.....
It would be easier for you if you knew if the person in question had any qualms about playing with married guys/gals ....
If they were,as you, and didnt want to play with married people then perhaps your concieince would be eased if you told them :dunno:
Not saying its right or wrong but if it were to make you feel uneasy to let the meet go ahead then you have to do what you feel to be the right thing...
Its not naming and shaming as such as its just between two people but some could see it that way :dunno:
As I said.............Its a toughie..... confused
Quote by felixx1416
But (there is always a but) honesty is what counts if the guy is honest at the begining thats fine, when you get guys ...................
Honesty thats what counts Honesty

See now I do have a problem with this bit Felix which means I have a question, sorry confused
How come honesty is very important for you to make your decisions on and yet the guy in question isn't being honest with his wife dunno
We don't meet married men unless their partner knows about the situation but is our choice :?
Ian would say he won't help a married person be unfaithful :dunno:
Quote by HornyLittleBlonde
But, if someone I knew off this site was planning on playing with them and I knew that they didn't want to play with married men. Should I tell them what I know? dunno
That's my dilemma

Well if it was me, I would say yes. I would prefer if you had told me and give me the choice of playing or not playing.
Close on naming and shaming I guess but you don't have to admit anything other than "are you sure he isn't married" innocent
Stop asking difficult questions when I am trying to conclude my assignment :lol2:
Quote by Dawnie

But (there is always a but) honesty is what counts if the guy is honest at the begining thats fine, when you get guys ...................
Honesty thats what counts Honesty

See now I do have a problem with this bit Felix which means I have a question, sorry confused
How come honesty is very important for you to make your decisions on and yet the guy in question isn't being honest with his wife dunno
We don't meet married men unless their partner knows about the situation but is our choice :?
Ian would say he won't help a married person be unfaithful :dunno:
Ok what i mean is if he is honest in the begianing ie he tells us hes married so we can make an informed decision as to weather we met or not
Quote by Dawnie
Stop asking difficult questions when I am trying to conclude my assignment :lol2:

Stop fannying around on adult sites while you have an assignment to conclude smackbottom :smackbottom:
Thought that would get you thinking wink
Dawnie smackbottom Get off there and finish you assignment or I'll ask Jags to give you a 24 hour ban lol
Apologies to the original thread starter if they view this as a hijack, but I thought it my be interesting to widen the discussion and look at this from a different angle kiss
Quote by Mallock2006
No-one here has the right to judge anyone on their reasons for being here..

Totally agree :thumbup: :doh: oops - I forgot the exception: People who come here with a negative and judgemental attitude towards swingers, however that manifests itself.
However, I do feel I have a right to judge people who tell me a pile of bollox and impede my choice as to what situation I get myself into.
Let people know where you stand… before you lay down!
Quote by felixx1416
Ok what i mean is if he is honest in the begianing ie he tells us hes married so we can make an informed decision as to weather we met or not

Thank you for clearing that up Felix kiss
Quote by Mallock2006

Stop asking difficult questions when I am trying to conclude my assignment :lol2:

Stop fannying around on adult sites while you have an assignment to conclude smackbottom :smackbottom:
Hey it was worth it to get a spanking :giggle:
Anyone fancy doing some referencing for me dunno
Quote by HornyLittleBlonde
Dawnie smackbottom Get off there and finish you assignment or I'll ask Jags to give you a 24 hour ban lol

I ended up banning myself for 24 hours ( a couple of times) during last years exam period just so I would get done redface
Quote by Dawnie

Stop asking difficult questions when I am trying to conclude my assignment :lol2:

Stop fannying around on adult sites while you have an assignment to conclude smackbottom :smackbottom:
Hey it was worth it to get a spanking :giggle:
Anyone fancy doing some referencing for me dunno
what do you need biggrin
Quote by Dawnie
Dawnie smackbottom Get off there and finish you assignment or I'll ask Jags to give you a 24 hour ban lol

I ended up banning myself for 24 hours ( a couple of times) during last years exam period just so I would get done redface
so if you have the willpower to ban yourself, and maintain that ban, then cant you have the willpower to just get your assignment done?
Quote by essex34m
so if you have the willpower to ban yourself, and maintain that ban, then cant you have the willpower to just get your assignment done?

I can't remove the ban once it is in place so once done, I'm buggered because I don't post under my other user name rolleyes
Quote by PoloLady
However, I do feel I have a right to judge people who tell me a pile of bollox and impede my choice as to what situation I get myself into.

Here I go contradicting myself..
You have the right to judge someone you are about to meet in as much as if they are married and you dont play with married people then you have the right to say no
What I meant by my earlier statement was that we cant just slate guys/gals who are married and here playing without their partners knowledge as untill it comes the time where we may meet those people its really none of our business...
I find it difficult to write what I want to say and still leave it a legible piece of text
confused
Quote by felixx1416

Anyone fancy doing some referencing for me dunno

what do you need biggrin
Incomming pm Felix :giggle:
Quote by Dawnie

so if you have the willpower to ban yourself, and maintain that ban, then cant you have the willpower to just get your assignment done?

I can't remove the ban once it is in place so once done, I'm buggered because I don't post under my other user name rolleyes
aha, so you have another username - thats dishonesty!!!
im hurt, i thought it was just you
*slumps in chair, despondantly*
Quote by essex34m

so if you have the willpower to ban yourself, and maintain that ban, then cant you have the willpower to just get your assignment done?

I can't remove the ban once it is in place so once done, I'm buggered because I don't post under my other user name rolleyes
aha, so you have another username - thats dishonesty!!!
im hurt, i thought it was just you
*slumps in chair, despondantly*
Well yes and no, most people know me under my other name anyway, I've had it for years confused
I use it in chat at times when I'd rather not have to do any work :roll: