Most excruciating moment in bed

22 Dec 2004

On a slightly different theme than the nicest thing ever said.............
Ive got to own up to falling asleep "on the job" sad

:(

Ok i was drunk(horribly) but no excuse surprised

ops:
I remember starting....but certainly not finishing.....the truth was finally pieced together over a silent,hostile weekend in the company of my then truth finally dawned on me,when in reply to an exasperated"What IS up withyou"......she unloaded her hurt,anger and frustration :(
On a happier note we are the best of friends still ten years later..................but definitly not still lovers
J

22 Dec 2004

I too have fallen asleep.. t'was with my ex girlfriend and we only used to see each other once a week and for an entire night just had non stop sex. Although she also did it to me.. I was just nearing orgasm when I felt her head flop to one side and heard the snores lol

We were very young and naive redface

22 Dec 2004

A long long time ago... I made a roll-up once whilst a bf was giving oral. But he was obsolutly rubbish at it. He was just poking his tongue out a little bit and dabbing as if he was checking to see if a chilli was too hot. I did try to giving instructions, but they fell on deaf ears, so I rolled a fag and just let him get on with it.
Does that make me a bad person?

22 Dec 2004

Quote by PoloLady
A long long time ago... I made a roll-up once whilst a bf was giving oral. But he was obsolutly rubbish at it. He was just poking his tongue out a little bit and dabbing as if he was checking to see if a chilli was too hot. I did try to giving instructions, but they fell on deaf ears, so I rolled a fag and just let him get on with it.
Does that make me a bad person?

:laughabove:
You're a lot more polite than me :lol2:

22 Dec 2004

Quote by PoloLady
A long long time ago... I made a roll-up once whilst a bf was giving oral. But he was obsolutly rubbish at it. He was just poking his tongue out a little bit and dabbing as if he was checking to see if a chilli was too hot. I did try to giving instructions, but they fell on deaf ears, so I rolled a fag and just let him get on with it.
Does that make me a bad person?

Only if you used his head as an ashtray wink

22 Dec 2004

Quote by zorbotic
On a slightly different theme than the nicest thing ever said.............
Ive got to own up to falling asleep "on the job" :(
Ok i was drunk(horribly) but no excuse ops:
I remember starting....but certainly not finishing.....the truth was finally pieced together over a silent,hostile weekend in the company of my then truth finally dawned on me,when in reply to an exasperated"What IS up withyou"......she unloaded her hurt,anger and frustration :(
On a happier note we are the best of friends still ten years later..................but definitly not still lovers
J

And your still alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! rolleyes

22 Dec 2004

Quote by foxylady 123
On a slightly different theme than the nicest thing ever said.............
Ive got to own up to falling asleep "on the job" :(
Ok i was drunk(horribly) but no excuse ops:
I remember starting....but certainly not finishing.....the truth was finally pieced together over a silent,hostile weekend in the company of my then truth finally dawned on me,when in reply to an exasperated"What IS up withyou"......she unloaded her hurt,anger and frustration :(
On a happier note we are the best of friends still ten years later..................but definitly not still lovers
J

And your still alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! rolleyes

I know ,i still cringe now everytime i recall the moment.......men eh? :oops:

22 Dec 2004

Hearing "I think i've just come on" :uhoh:
And she fully had - not my kinda thing :shock:

22 Dec 2004

oh god.........was with a girl the other week and she was, lets say 'playing with me' and then she stopped half way through telling me that she had a boyfriend and couldnt do it. Had to finish me self off but ended up coming all over leg by accident! fuck that was embarassing.
:twisted:

22 Dec 2004

We were both 22 (I think). This lad and me.
Whilst I was giving him a bj once, I began to make my way round to doing a 69. He panicked, shoved me away and said "Stop it! I don't know what to do!"
Another time, after sex:
Him- You like sex don't you?
Me- God, yeah! Why, don't you? (thinking this was a silly Q)
Him- Take it or leave it.
Cripes! That was what finished it, in my mind. "Take it or leave it" from a 22 yr old guy who I had just ridden, screaming and kicking past the finishing post!?! Still bitter? Too right!

22 Dec 2004

hehe you think maybe hes improved with age Vix!? :shock:

22 Dec 2004

Quote by fruity1976
hehe you think maybe hes improved with age Vix!? :shock:

Either that, or he has taken to riding on the other bus. If so... good for him! (But maybe not for his boyfriend, eh?) biggrin

22 Dec 2004

Most excruciating moment in bed? Well, mine was during my very first sexual experience (with another human being, that is) at the tender age of 15. 'Twas during a New Year's party at my brother's house. I'd wandered away from the festivities and gone to bed. A few hours later, I awaken to one of my brother's house mates sucking my cock. Not unpleasant, thought I...so I just laid back and enjoyed the experience. Then, he spoons in behind me and starts sliding his own cock against me. Reaching toward the bedside table, he retrieves a jar, extracts a generous amount of its contents onto his fingers and begins to lube me up. Unfortunately, said jar contained mentholated "deep heat" Vaseline. I bolted out of the bed and ran naked naked for the loo, past my brother and his missus still dancing in their living room (to "Rapper's Delight", I might add - still hate that song). Is it any wonder I'm not fond of anal?! :shock:
~Reese! surprised

P.S. Curiously, the next day, my brother never spoke a word about it.

22 Dec 2004

I've got two comments to add to this thread:
The first most painful experience was when I was 17 and my girlfriend was giving me a very nice BJ and managed to slice through my frenulum with her teeth. It was quite painful at the time but was worse later cos after that it was agony every time I got an erection for a few days after that - it happened a lot.
The second thing is about sleeping - I've never fallen asleep on the job, but I did once wake up in the middle of a wild session. Apparently I'd initiated it too. I've never sleepwalked as far as I know but I'm particularly proud to have been the only sleepshagger I've ever heard of biggrin

. Has this ever happened to anyone else?
SA
XXX

22 Dec 2004

There was a guy that broke wind during a sexual activity. I know it happens, god I have done it myself before now. We can not always control our flatulence.
But I was just licking under his balls as this massive guffffffer rasp'd out, reverberating round my eardrums like a sonic boom. Quickly followed by the toxic smell of hydrogen sulphide, methyl-indol and skatol (which could have curled flock wallpaper in a curry house at 100 paces) filling my nose and burning the back of my throat.
As i wrenched and wiped the tears from my tears, somehow the muttered (yet totally unashamed) "sorry 'bout that" didn't quite repair the damage to the moment. Especially as he slightly lifted his left buttock to pop out the monster's baby brother immediately afterwards.

22 Dec 2004

Quote by SpiritedAway
The second thing is about sleeping - I've never fallen asleep on the job, but I did once wake up in the middle of a wild session.

Yup - happened to me, too - however, I wasn't personally involved in the festivities. Instead, I am awakened from my happy slumbers because the bed has suddenly turned into a bouncy castle. I roll over to see Vix energetically riding a friend who'd spent the previous night with us. They invite me to join in...to which I reply, "No, sleep, now." Yes, sometimes sleep is more pleasurable than sex! ;)
~Reese! surprised

22 Dec 2004

Quote by PoloLady
There was a guy that broke wind during a sexual activity. I know it happens, god I have done it myself before now. We can not always control our flatulence.
But I was just licking under his balls as this massive guffffffer rasp'd out, reverberating round my eardrums like a sonic boom. Quickly followed by the toxic smell of hydrogen sulphide, methyl-indol and skatol (which could have curled flock wallpaper in a curry house at 100 paces) filling my nose and burning the back of my throat.
As i wrenched and wiped the tears from my tears, somehow the muttered (yet totally unashamed) "sorry 'bout that" didn't quite repair the damage to the moment. Especially as he slightly lifted his left buttock to pop out the monster's baby brother immediately afterwards.

:giggle: :giggle: :giggle: :giggle: :giggle: :giggle:
Sorry but that just made me almost wet myself with laughter

22 Dec 2004

Quote by PoloLady
There was a guy that broke wind during a sexual activity. I know it happens, god I have done it myself before now. We can not always control our flatulence.
But I was just licking under his balls as this massive guffffffer rasp'd out, reverberating round my eardrums like a sonic boom. Quickly followed by the toxic smell of hydrogen sulphide, methyl-indol and skatol (which could have curled flock wallpaper in a curry house at 100 paces) filling my nose and burning the back of my throat.
As i wrenched and wiped the tears from my tears, somehow the muttered (yet totally unashamed) "sorry 'bout that" didn't quite repair the damage to the moment. Especially as he slightly lifted his left buttock to pop out the monster's baby brother immediately afterwards.

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
I do just find wind SOOOO funny! I have been farted on while doing doggy, I chose to take it as a compliment that she was losing control!!

22 Dec 2004

Must admit I used to fall asleep regularly with one of my ex's - He just didn't float my boat I guess lol
Did have a guy fall asleep while I was on top of him putting in a great performance too - but he stayed hard for a while so I just kept going till I was done lmao

22 Dec 2004

Quote by PoloLady
A long long time ago... I made a roll-up once whilst a bf was giving oral. But he was obsolutly rubbish at it. He was just poking his tongue out a little bit and dabbing as if he was checking to see if a chilli was too hot. I did try to giving instructions, but they fell on deaf ears, so I rolled a fag and just let him get on with it.
Does that make me a bad person?

I think that it probably let him know that he needed to irmprove his technique :shock: biggrin

Personally I like lots of feedback. If I'm working away & having no effect.... I want to know so that I can start having the sort of effect I want to have. :P

22 Dec 2004

Quote by HungryP
A long long time ago... I made a roll-up once whilst a bf was giving oral. But he was obsolutly rubbish at it. He was just poking his tongue out a little bit and dabbing as if he was checking to see if a chilli was too hot. I did try to giving instructions, but they fell on deaf ears, so I rolled a fag and just let him get on with it.
Does that make me a bad person?

I think that it probably let him know that he needed to irmprove his technique :shock: biggrin

Personally I like lots of feedback. If I'm working away & having no effect.... I want to know so that I can start having the sort of effect I want to have. :P
Trust me I tried!!!!

22 Dec 2004

Quote by PoloLady
A long long time ago... I made a roll-up once whilst a bf was giving oral. But he was obsolutly rubbish at it. He was just poking his tongue out a little bit and dabbing as if he was checking to see if a chilli was too hot. I did try to giving instructions, but they fell on deaf ears, so I rolled a fag and just let him get on with it.
Does that make me a bad person?

I think that it probably let him know that he needed to irmprove his technique :shock: biggrin

Personally I like lots of feedback. If I'm working away & having no effect.... I want to know so that I can start having the sort of effect I want to have. :P
Trust me I tried!!!!
Sounds like' get dressed and go home" might have been the best instruction.
It gets you thinking how do you "know" how to "perform" oral or otherwise,most of the basics seem to come naturally wiyth bits of fine tuning along the way as you gain experience.

22 Dec 2004

Once opened my eyes after a very satisfying wank to find my girlfriend watching... with her dad.
We didn't go out for long after that...

22 Dec 2004

Quote by zorbotic
It gets you thinking how do you "know" how to "perform" oral

I think when your partner starts to make a roll-up, it should be a pretty BIG clue that its not quite working for them!

22 Dec 2004

Quote by PoloLady
It gets you thinking how do you "know" how to "perform" oral

I think when your partner starts to make a roll-up, it should be a pretty BIG clue that its not quite working for them!
Agreed,but maybe he was down there thinking....................what the f*** she doing now?!? i never read about that in dear deirdre!!!! redface

22 Dec 2004

Have to admit i too fell asleep while getting a nice massage while we were in bed! also another time i was with someone for the first time and while i was kissing and caresing her i moved down below to give her oral sex when she said " where do you think your going i don't like oral sex" have to admit i was lost for words! redface

22 Dec 2004

Quote by da69ve
she said " where do you think your going i don't like oral sex" have to admit i was lost for words!

:shock: Her name wasn't Sue was it? Spooky!
I think the worst time I ever had was waking up with something warm and hairy nuzzling into my crotch. Took me a few minutes to work out it was a live mouse the cat brought us as a present!!!

22 Dec 2004

I once had a guy who was too embarrassed to let me give him a bj. I wouldn't mind but he was in his forties. what a sheltered life he must have led :shock:
And shall i admit to farting once while i guy was going down on me? No i don't think i'll admit to that...forget i said it redface

22 Dec 2004

Going into labour I think was pretty excrutiating while I was in bed :shock: :shock: :shock:

22 Dec 2004

Quote by corriefem
Going into labour I think was pretty excrutiating while I was in bed :shock: :shock: :shock:

Mrs Cueball in labour was one of the most painful experiences I've ever had - and I was just at the side of the bed holding her hand!! Talk about super-human strengths :lol: