Is it that your new fella isn't into swinging?
Or that you felt you wanted to stop swinging anyway when you got together with the fella?
Blimey hun.
TBH, every time we meet with someone, I tend to say "Let's not fuck other people any more, hun" And then we see someone and guess who's in bed quicker than you can say "knife"... on me back.. middle of the bed.. everytime. (Well, on my back for a nanosecond, anyways)
Can't help you on that one me and Chris are still swinging and we haven't enjoyed anything more than this. It would be weird if we split up and went back to our old lives but just think what ever happens you will still have your memories.
Molly xx
Admittedlly there are parts of swinging that I really am missing
I feel the need for kink!!!!!
Hoping my once a month visit to fetish night will help put things into perspective (or at least someone into bondage lol)
Bit of a dilemma Lil_Bunny.
If you have any thoughts that something's missing then unless you can settle your own demons it will just niggle away at you - from my experience.
If he found out you used to swing, or were still on the SH Forum would he rethink the whole situation between you both ? If yes, then will you ever be able to reveal the real you and could you keep it underwraps?
Hi Babe,
Its quiet a tricky dilema. and i'm not sure i have the answers, but you know my munber if you ever want a chat, i will always make time to listen to ya.. and ya never know i might suprise myself and give some good advise...
Love
Jonathan
gotta agree with the dude there .......trust,honesty ,open ness, :inlove: these r the ingredients of long lasting,meaningfull relships,.....once u start keepin secrets.......they always gotta habit of poppin out :bounce: dx
Bite the bullet and tell the guy, it will be much worse if he finds out for himself. It's hard I know but from experiance it's for the best.
Good luck whatever you decide
I was so pleased you announced you'd found someone special and had decided to commit to him Bunny - but I thought he was someone who knew about your swinging lifestyle and had accepted that part of the other posters have said there is no easy answer.I would only say it is early days - but if ALREADY you're feeling JUST being with him alone isn't enough then you do need to decide weither,and how, to tell him - but take it steady,don't rush - even if its just for a few days of extra reflection.
You should talk to him about him about it as you will just never know!
He may be the ideal guy and scared to offend you so is keeping up a cover of vanilla!
I was in a similar situation a few years back, steady, happy relationship but fearing the worst with monogomy. After many tentative months of talk a lot of things were cleared up.
I now enjoy swinging with my partner and on my own and also enjoy the alternative lifestyle sometimes also but on my own after we came to an understanding on this. She is not keen on an alt lifestyle but is happy for me to carry on.
We are both blissfully happy but it has taken a while to get us where we are.
Good luck
Bunny, I have to say myself,I know that if you dont tell him and you carry on feeling liek this and try to ignore it then theres a possibility that your gonna end up resenting him for it.
This isnt exactly the same but I used to go out with this guy and his mum and dad decided to moce abroad with the rest of the family but he said he woiuldnt go because we were too good together. In the end I had to finish with him ( :cry: ) because I knew deep down that he wanted to go.
Anyway tell him and see how he takes it, whats the worst that could happen? :angel:
The wife and I are separating after 28 years. All through this time I have suffered by things that were told me at the beginning and which were never true, (not talking about sex here but lifestyle preferences), the things were said to me to make me feel good about her and once you're in they don't seem important enough to break up for, but they detract and create resentments that shouldn't have been there.
For my part I also didn't tell the truth about the rather high number of my previous partners, or that historically I'd always had trouble maintaining sexual interest without a bit of change or play to liven the proceedings up. Throughout our marriage the sex declined and declined, and although she was the one who said stop, I am at least as much to blame, if not mostly to blame, for asking for things she could not comfortably offer.
Should I ever be blessed with love again I will certainly be telling the truth. In the end it's the only way to real happiness.
Bunny, your relationship won't work with this big secret hanging over it. You have to tell him exactly what you like and if he still wants you then go on and have fun swinging together.
Del and i met through swinging so we knew exactly what we were getting into. We stopped swinging for about 6 months where we built our relationship up and learned all we could about each other. When we decided to swing again we had ground rules which we have both stuck to and are extremely happy.
We all have our little kinks that we enjoy and if for whatever reason we don't get to enjoy these then it does become a burden on a relationship.
You really are going to have to tell him about your lifestyle if you are to have any kind of future together, if you want a future with him.
Gill x
i think everything i would have said has already done so...
i would sit him down and have a proper chat..... and just be true to yourself, because if you don't you will only end up resenting him.....
i am sure he will think he is the luckiest man in the world when he gets to see all of you....
sean xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
. I wish you luck in your decision making Bunny. Maybe just be a little patient for now.
