Nearly a Gonna'

21 Apr 2004

I have just been fitting lights under the cupboards in the kitchen, I did one side ok went to the other side and Brigt flash and very loud bang.
It was on a different circuit! luckily the tool I was using was insulated the metal bit is black though.
Anybody else nearly met their maker ?
redface

ops: :oops:

21 Apr 2004

Mr Fc ........ a bit scary isnt it.
standing on a chair to rewire a ceiling light fitting that was flickering when ever someone walked above it upstairs.
I identified the circuit and isolated it, got up on the chair and sure enough there was a loose live wire in the rose. I pulled it out of its slot and went to twist the ends before reinserting it .......
Whilst it didnt flash and bang the jolt I got knocked me off the chair and sent my heart beating with such intensity I now know it can stand a fair old pummelling. Fortunaely the fact I was standing on a chair and was knocked off it caused me to let go of the wiiire because as you know the electricity makes your muscles contract and you end up gripping the very thing you want to let go of.
We can only guess the way some people have wired their houses up .....so its got to be total power isolation in future.
Incidentally I got quite horny just after ....now that may be just coincidence ..lol

21 Apr 2004

About 5 years ago I was doing a rally in Dalby when I lost control at over a ton. The car went straight off and between two sodding great was so tight it took both wing mirrors off but nothing else , by the time I had the inevitable accident I had scrubbed off enough speed to end up harmlessly embedded in some gorse bushes. nothing dented other than pride.
The only other time was when I was 19 and racing Formula Fords and barrel rolled at Donnington..I did break my ankle but it could have been sooo much worse :shock:

21 Apr 2004

One or two of you know this tale.
Whilst suffering from a case of acute 'macho brain fever' I totally underestimated the seriousness of a particular situation, and some nasty weather, and managed to get myself stuck on moors in a blizzard. I was suprised to discover I wasn't quite as tough as I thought I was and went down with severe hypothermia. By the time I was eventually found-after a freak combination of circumstances that raise profound questions that puzzle me still-I was pretty close to death, damned close in fact. They managed to save me and, well, here I am.
I owe my life to a bizarre set of circumstances-(chance?)-and the kindness and fortitiude of the people that stumbled across me.
Now you know why I'm just 'happy to be here'.
A.

21 Apr 2004

Nearest I ever got was driving home late from work on the motorway tired about 18 months ago. As I was nearing my junction there was road works so I pulled out into the next lane. I felt a massive bump and looking I could see I had hit a lorry. Suddenly every thing went into slow motion and I could see the lorry coming towards me and hitting me side on. My reaction was of complete calm. I just thought 'this is it' but I didnt panick. I pirorreted 3 times across the motor way and was hit again and the the car stopped and I was alive. It was only at that moment that it hit me what had happened. I couldnt get out of my side of the car and the car was a write off.
DONT DRIVE TIRED is my advice to anyone. Not long after that I changed jobs and now travel where possible by train. Life is to short to end up mangled on a motor for the sake of a job.

21 Apr 2004

I have tried to kill Fred on a number of occassions. Quite by accident of course. wink

When we first lived together and my cooking skills were not brillliant, I served him up a pizza for tea. He very politely chewed and chewed but could hold back no longer. He spat it out and said sorry love this tastes awful. I had forgotten to take the polystyrene base off the bottom and hence served up a toxic pizza. lol

No too long after this I attempted cauliflower cheese with one of those packets. Fred was very poorly for days afterwards and It took me ages to confess that the packet was a year out of date. :lol: :lol:
The next occassion was when Fred was mowing the front lawn in our old house. It only needed an electric mower as it was very small. Fred would post the plug through the letterbox and plug it in in the hall. I had been busy in the kitchen and came into the hall and noticed the plug had been pulled out of the socket. I duly plugged it back in. Oh how I laughed to see Fred jumping all over the lawn with a white face and bulging eyes. He was in the middle of fixing the connecting cables!! rotflmao

But the best one has to be when his sister gave us one of those toning machines with the little electric pads that you place strategically on the body. Like the inquisitive child I watched Fred attach the pads to himself and when he was all done I said "what does this button do?" as I turned it to maximum. A spark leapt across his chest and his back arched in a sudden movement, just like you see on the telly when they shout "CLEAR"!! I nearly wet myself it was soooooo funny.
I am banned now from cooking and whenever I offer to help Fred wth any DIY involving electrics etc, I get a polite thanks but NO thanks!!
Ah well I'll keep trying. That reminds me, must check the life insurance policy.
Love
Wilma
x x x x

21 Apr 2004

And, may I just add that Wilma's murderous tendencies aren't limited to Fred. I almost had a heart attack I laughed so much at that post!!!!!

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Polystyrene at the bottom of the pizza lol

:lol:
Brilliant!!
Ps Wilma, I've knocked one forfeit off the list because of this. Anyone who can make me laugh so much tonight can't be all THAT bad ;)

21 Apr 2004

Phew, how many more gags do I have to come up with to wipe the slate clean. Mr&Mrs FC have one for me too.
I fear I may stay at home!!!
Love
Wilma
x x x x

21 Apr 2004

HEY! they were not gags to me!
And people wonder why I am emotionally scarred?
:doh: :doh: :doh: :doh: :doh:
Whenever the smoke detector goes off the kids shout "dinner's ready!"
You should see her driving as well! rolleyes

:roll:
Fred

21 Apr 2004

Quote by MrFC
Anybody else nearly met their maker ?
ops: :oops:

When our twin sons were about 15 years old, as is usual with teenagers, they were inclined to play their music rather loudly.
They were both into the Goth and Metal sounds, some of which I found to be totally unbearable but put up with it and quietly hoped for the day when their taste would change.
One day however, I could stand the noise no longer and asked them to turn it down. They of course turned it up louder evil

In a fit of temper, I grabbed a pair of scissors from the drawer and stomped off to their bedroom, thrust open the door and grabbing hold of the electrical flex I cut the plug off the stereo whilst it was still plugged in :!:
There was a huge bang, the scissors stuck to my hand and my arm received the most
painful shock I have ever had :cry:
They of course had scant sympathy and whilst I writhed around in agony, they calmly set about putting the plug back on the stereo rolleyes

21 Apr 2004

Quote by FredFlintstone
HEY! they were not gags to me!
And people wonder why I am emotionally scarred?
:doh: :doh: :doh: :doh: :doh:
Whenever the smoke detector goes off the kids shout "dinner's ready!"
You should see her driving as well! :roll:
Fred

:laughabove: At least I have a clean licence, unlike you my dear!!!
I have just sharpened garden shears in another thread so watch yourself!
Love
Wilma
x x x x

21 Apr 2004

:lol: :lol: :lol:
Sorry Redhot,........ that must have been a sight to see.
I am just full of electricity, no matter what I touch sparks fly or I get a nasty shock. rolleyes

21 Apr 2004

I remember an incident some years ago when a number of firemen were all stuck to ladders when an entire building went live with 3 phase 440V and because everything was wet it linked everything. Some poor young firefighter was volunteered to use the big axe to chop the mains cable using the electrical safety gloves. The bang when he hit the cable threw him 30 feet across the yard and took a huge bite out of the edge of the axe as if a giant had bitten it!
He has a phobia of elctricity for some strange reason now!
Fred

21 Apr 2004

never had a near death thing myself,but i remember about 19 years ago when i was a kid we had an open coal one day it was roaring like hell so my dad threw some flour on it to calm it the effect was this quasi explosion that blew him across the instinctive reaction was to piss myself laughing,didn't go down well but he was ok.I just find it hysterical when these things happen to other people

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:

22 Apr 2004

The closest I've managed was driving into a tree at 100km/h (60m/h), snapping the seat belt. I walked away with a few cuts and bruises.
It wasn't my fault: that curve is well known to the local police. One of the photos shows partly healed scrape marks on a nearby tree, just above mine. Someone else had done exactly the same thing a few months earlier.
Bruised ribs hurt.
Then there was the time I was calibrating an oscilloscope (several thousand volts on certain bits of the insides) without using the recommended plastic screwdriver. I couldn't see properly for a few minutes.

22 Apr 2004

I once had a near death experience because of a hole in my boot.
Walking home for lunch one day, I ended up with a wet foot because of a hole in my boot.
Being a bloke, rather that simply change my socks, I decided to create less work for myself by only removing one boot and drying that sock in front of the gas fire. The pilot light had gone out on the fire, so I had to move Kit's meticulously grown HUGE bottle garden to access it. One of the legs on the three legged stool the bottle garden sat on was loose, as I move the stool, the sudden movement caused the bottle garden to depart company with the stool and gravity provided acceleration of 10m per second towards the floor, my hands moved at 8m per second and I grabbed the heavy glass object just as it impacted on the floor, shattering around my hands and causing a number of impressive lacerations. Blood squirted an impressive distance in all directions, and as I proceeded at some speed towards the kitchen area, the house very quickly became something resembling a chain saw massacre. Wrapping a tea towel around the most seriously damaged right hand, I went to the phone to summon assistance from a nearby neighbour, who came round just as soon as he had finished his lunch. On walking through the door and observing the carnage, he promptly turned a peculiar puce colour and threw me in the car to drive me to medical assistance. The expert military medics repaired the damage, and I was sent off home to recover.
Then came my near death experience. Kit go home and saw what I had done to her bottle garden! sad

lhk
Kat