I only wish I had the money to waste on such luxuries. Iam of course refering to massage.
I'm not sure but I think that Brucie is refering to the way that some people here find the use of hookers offensive.
As has been pointed out it is a different industry than swinging so not really the place to discuss it.
ah yes, swinging as an industry.
the swingers amongst us are not profit from swinging though are they? The RULES say so.
The only thing to profit from swinging would be the site that we use.
lp
I feel abused
& I haven't even met my pimp!
lp
i have found that swingers can be surprisingly conservative about things and particularly infidelity and prostitution.
so i thought id start a debate.
probably because a lot of swingers are in serious relationships and they value things such as honesty , privacy security etc etc
and the single swingers value the same
and if in a true swinging relationship then the sex isn't just mechanical it's actually wanted because it's not just cheap and there for you as if you're shopping
you need the feeling behind it not just someone doing what they're paid for
so what i'm saying is that swingers aren't conservative at all just that they understand the ins and outs a lot more and know the pit falls a lot more than others who haven't maybe been in a swinging relationship so may give constructive advice which some feel is conservative but is actually just very well advised in most cases and there as a tool to use if needed
No I know Splendid. I do distinguish between those who have freely chosen their 'career', enjoy it, and make a good living from it, and those who haven't. My point was, where there is coercion, from the aforementioned abusive boyfriends, pimps, people smugglers, etc, then that girl cannot be said to be fully and freely consenting. If she's not fully and freely consenting, then anything that takes place between that girl and her 'client' is IMO tantamount to sexual abuse of the vulnerable and desperate. The fact the punter has paid for that does nothing to change that. I wasn't necessarily comparing the users of prostitutes to paedophiles, ((( excepting in those cases where men do actually seek out and pay for the 14 and 15 years old girls working the streets of Leeds of course! ;) ))) but on the whole the sexual abuse of vulnerable women that frequently does take place within the industry puts it somewhere on the same continuum.
N x x x ;)
... very little else though
lp
This is very interesting thread raising many different issues... there can be some similarities brought between both sides when you look at them both.
Co-ersion being the main one that springs to the fore in my mind... I agree that some girls work under pressure from pimps...habits...financial pressures. Now look at the swinging scene, I have spoken to many on here who want to know how to push their partners into swinging and have also spoken to a substantial number of 'swingers' at clubs and parties who are doing it because their respected partners expect them too.
We never have or never would knowingly enter into swinging with someone who didn't really want to be doing it but from chatting with these people who are shall i term non-swinging friendly, i know that there are some who do still.
I also know that from meeting and chatting to members from a different site that many swingers also do escorting nowadays but they see it as a way of earning money doing something they enjoy participating in. Each to their own is my opinion it's not something I would have the courage to do but I wouldn't disrespect anyone from making those choices in life either.
There are a number of swingers clubs that advertise paid women for so called "greedy girls" parties...to me this is nothing more than prostitution...but given a new name,just to justify it as something that goes on in the swinging scene...we avoid any clubs that stage these parties out of principle!
if you charge for sexual services,then that is what it is...don't make it into something it isn't!
F'kinhell Splendid you don't seem to be a very happy bunny in forum lately :sad:
I know this is an emotive subject but to be honest if the last paragraph of your last post isn't insulting then fuck me I'd hate to be on the end of what is.
Where has a lot of the humour gone. Mind I do think its indicative of a poorly site throughout at present.
Peace
This is a good topic for debate, it is a shame in part people have got a little heated.
I am a female from a couple that if you want to appoint a person that got us into swinger, you could say it was my hubby as he was the first to mention it, as one part of the couple generally do suggest things, could you say I am doing it against my will, you properly could without knowing the type of person I am. As a lot of people seem to think that as one party mention things, the other party don’t have a choice. We all have a choice.
I came into swinging with a questioning mind, I really didn’t know much about swinging only what was portrayed on TV, and bits I have read up on and researched, I had mixed thoughts as in Yes I wanted to meet people to have sex with but didn’t want to see myself as a prostitute without payment, a sex object for guys to just come and use. I had in my mind what I would like to find when coming here, that was people that had a simular mindset as my own, that understood yes I wanted to have sex with them, but also wanted to be respected and treated as a woman not as a sex toy.
If in my choosing and understanding of peoples intent comes across as me being conservative, then yes I must be conservative, but I would see it as a woman that looks for what she wants and won’t settle for just a shag.
As the op said he has been to prostitutes I would wonder if that is how he would look at me a free prostitute, maybe he would like to answer this point.
Also is he expecting as I have found a high proportion on this site do, a quick fix, then I am afraid there are also a lot of us, that are not here to scratch an instant itch.
So to end would I see myself on a level or as similar to a prostitute?
I would say no, as I see myself as someone that enjoys the pleasures of what sex has to offer in all forms, I can not talk for a prostitute but guess they get no pleasure out of what they do, they get payment.
I got a little confused as to why splendid seemed to go off on one earlier but I missed your second post brucie - you deserved a verbal slap i'm afraid. I'm one for enjoying a good debate but your pushing the arrogance a little far and that was rude.
OK there are going to be the odd minute proportion of women and men (I would also hazard saying that far less women) that enjoy prostitution. I would guess that's similar with the porn industry to a degree as well. Obviously there is going to seem to be the more "respectable" side but in the end whats hidden is a world of crime, depravity, misery, and sadness. It is an indictment on the human condition that this sort of stuff exists but it does, I guess it will for a long time if not forever too.
We are all weak in some fashion people using prostitutes are weak I guess though how does one address the need for physical skin on skin sex if for whatever reason they are unable to get it through normal social methods. From the overly shy person maybe to the physically/mentally less able. Crikey its a minefield.
I guess there's as many weaknessesin a lot of people who practice prostitution too. Whether it's the thought that its a way to survive and provide for there kinfolk or whether it supplies a habit or even a weakness for wanting luxury stuff that maybe in other ways it would not be possible t afford. Not in an immediate fashion for sure.
Most of us go about our daily business, and maybe part of that is using porn or sex worker services, without really considering the darker implications of our actions.
I defer to Splendids greater knowledge of these things as it appears that within her professional capacity her knowledge exceeds that of myself and of what i read the OP's. Its fair for a member to put a heavy weight addition and direct even blunt response to a topic when its within there capacity to do so.
Food for thought for many of us.
) were supporting their own habits / pimps / etc, some of who were financing their kids, some of who were financing their bloody parents, who kindly came out onto the streets to keep an eye on their daughter while she did the business, I would no more subsidise the trade than i would subsidise yer local / friendly drug dealer / burglar.
))) absolutely repellent, mainly cos my personal radar ain't specific enough to tell me what the life history of one girl or the other might be for the sake of an orgasm I can knock out in less than a minute.
