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Question for the more mature single blokes

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Just sitting here musing over the hello thread from a very young new single bloke, and I couldn't help but wonder: - in view of the comparative numbers of single blokes on the site - do the older, more mature guys find themselves somehow "threatened" by the younger blokes? This isn't a dig at anyone- and is a genuine question because I am interested.
A new bloke introduced himself today - and he felt it necessary to say that he drove what he perceived as a cool car, and described himself as being a "cool" bloke. For someone his age these things actually mean something (unfortunately).
But it made me wonder, in vew of the mentor thread, if any of the older, more mature, more experienced single blokes thought it might be a good idea to PM hm and explain nicely why he might get a bashing for that, and then offer to help him get established. Or would that be just not on due to some sort of manly competition thing? (remember I am a girlie - and I don't even understand butch dykes - let alone men confused )
I know I am not putting it over the way I want to - so if anyone else knows what I am trying to say here - please feel free to make my words readible :?
I am 32. I never cared about having a "cool" car when I was younger much less now. I always wanted to be judged by my abilities and still do.
Young people in 2005 are brainwashed with the need to be "cool" more so than any generation before. It takes a strong will and good role models to resist it.
Quote by london/birmfun
I am 32. I never cared about having a "cool" car when I was younger much less now. I always wanted to be judged by my abilities and still do.
Young people in 2005 are brainwashed with the need to be "cool" more so than any generation before. It takes a strong will and good role models to resist it.

I appreciate that - but that was just an example I gave of where this young bloke may be coming from a different "place" to you older guys - and instead of being attacked for it could've easily been told how that may not impress on here dunno
I have read the thread and posted in it. He is behaving pretty much like anyone his age.
I don't see why everyone is reacting in such an extreme way to him.
But of the first 18 posts which might have been described as taking the piss (although varying greatly in levels of piss-taking, from the very mild to the bitter), eight were from females, and ten from males....
On the broader aspect of your question, I don't feel threatened at all - I actually didn't get the reference about the car, I ignore all references to cars anyway, as I don't drive.
I would be perfectly happy to give anyone of any age advice in how to pitch their initial approach in here, and have in the past done so, though usually on here in public rather than via PM. Reactions vary from the embarrassed and suitably enhumbled, to the brash and arrogant. References to Roger's advice for single guys post, and Marcuso's ditto are often made - whether guys get much out of them we really cannot tell. Yes, some go too far in their sarcasm, and it makes me feel uncomfortable, as it obviously does you as well Rainbows, but no one person in here can control what reaction people get - I have also seen reasonable posts from women and couples get a bit of an obtuse reaction from others in here, for example Zanahoria, and then disappear in confusion, so it's not only the single guys who suffer from this.
Mike.
Quote by duncanlondon
I have read the thread and posted in it. He is behaving pretty much like anyone his age.
I don't see why everyone is reacting in such an extreme way to him.

I really don't want this to become a thread about another thread or particular person - which is why I didn't post this in that thread. Just kind of interested in a general way.
I notice two guys have responded here but neither of you have answered whether you feel a younger guy is a "challenge"? Would you consider helping a younger guy establsh himself on here?
Edit; Sorry MikeNorth - you posted as I wrote confused
Most guys will put up some kind of competitive show if needed. So my first reaction was, he's young, he's confident, he's got stuff, he'd probably pull the woman between our ages if she was age inclined. But its only a threat to the bad loser.
I don't think the older guys have anything to be worried about.....what they may lack in stamina they make up in experience and maturity!
Quote by Rainbows
I know I am not putting it over the way I want to - so if anyone else knows what I am trying to say here - please feel free to make my words readible confused

Seems a good post to me, 'Bows. biggrin
I would have pm'ed the individual concerned, but it seemed better to post as others would see it, & hopefully the whole affair would settle down a bit as a result. So do I feel threatened by younger blokes? Certainly not, & I've always been keen to help people regardless of age or gender. From what some of the women have said at various times, it would appear that many prefer more mature single males anyway! dunno
Quote by da69ve
I don't think the older guys have anything to be worried about.....what they may lack in stamina they make up in experience and maturity!

See it is possible to tell me I'm fucked in a nice way lol
:laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove:
Quote by Rainbows
do the older, more mature guys find themselves somehow "threatened" by the younger blokes?

Without wishing to generalise, I find myself embarassed by a lot of them, to the extent that I'm often almost tempted to post something to try to reassure people that not all single blokes are total pillocks with no imagination. confused
It would be easy to overlook the point here. Most guys will say there is no threat or challenge. That is part of the defense mechanism at work. And that is just what I have done.
Guys do go through an initial period of sensitivity and there is some establishing of respect and what they will accept from each other. So in that sense it is a challenge to deal with a younger man who demands more attention.
A young fit and feisty guy can be intimidating and he may push the limits. This can be worrying and force one to make decisions or draw conclusions. But there is a long term way around these issues.
In the normal course of life you would not be faced with a real nasty piece of work. I used to work with ex-offenders, so it is unlikely that one would ever meet the real hard cases.
I really don't consider myself "in competition" with any other males here (or females, come to that). The regulars and semi-regulars get to know each other in here to certain levels, the occasionals and the one-post chancers also come in, and make choices accordingly about who if anyone they are going to take an interest in, for whatever purpose. I'm not sure that a competitive attitude increases one's chances - aren't as many people turned off by such an attitude as turned on by it?
mike.
Quote by Rainbows
Just sitting here musing over the hello thread from a very young new single bloke, and I couldn't help but wonder: - in view of the comparative numbers of single blokes on the site - do the older, more mature guys find themselves somehow "threatened" by the younger blokes? This isn't a dig at anyone- and is a genuine question because I am interested.
I know I am not putting it over the way I want to - so if anyone else knows what I am trying to say here - please feel free to make my words readible confused
:? Am I allowed to answer as a mature married bloke? sad
I doubt individuals feel personally threatened, it is unlikely that anyone with such a fragile self-ego would have the self-confidence to successfully swing.
However, what I do see (and feel myself) is that when someone arrives with a very different style that is seen as an environmental threat. With enough patience, I could probably find a comment I made many moons ago to the effect:
"I know "Wanna fuck" posts are rarely successful, and I should just ignore them, But simply having "Wanna fuck" posts in Lets Meet Up would present the wrong image for the site, and attract more "Wanna fuck" people and we would end up with a site full of "Wanna fuck" members.
It may be the same with the language of posts. There is nothing WRONG with not writing in standard English. It is just that if a few did it, then a few more would, and the whole thing would snowball.
What we should be doing, is explaining WHY we want them to write in a particular, because it is easier to read, easier to understand, and makes the whole experience of being on the site more enjoyable.
If, after understanding that, they still continue to talk gibberish, they get banned..
lhk
Kat
P.S. which intorduction thread are we all talking about? :?
This is probably related more to life in general for me, than here specifically. I don't feel a threat from the younger guys at all because for the most part, I tread a different path and fish a different pond. My ambitions and needs are different so the likelyhood of my goals being thwarted by someone younger isnt that great. This doesn't mean that at times I don't envy their youth and miss mine, but if anything I am a realist, time creeps on, I move on, someone moves in. I would love to do the last twenty years again cos I've had some giggles, but it aint gonna happen. All I can do is offer what I know to the younger guy if he wants it and in the meantime push on with the next lump of life which might not be as hectic, but wont be short of fun, it just might be in a different form.
I have to admit that I am not a txt user. But it is a fast growing language and it would be foolish to completely ignore it. It may be that in a few years it will be recognised by the Oxford English Dictionary. So guys like the man being examined use this language as an everyday tool. Remember today's youth will be managing your pensions in years to come!
Having never actually been considered 'cool', except maybe for a brief stint in nursery, where I was the first one out of nappies (score!)
I really don't feel threatened. Although I did nearly pee myself at the thought of someone using text speak online. Do people really do that? And not just to try to be funny?
<weeps>
Ken
Quote by kenmoo
I did nearly pee myself at the thought of someone using text speak online. Do people really do that?

Yes, they do. I think it's the cyber equivalent of wearing fake Burberry in Dartford or something. dunno
I don't feel threatened at all. As for the young poster mentioned, or any others like him, I don't think there's need for any of the older males to let him know how to excersise forum etiquete.
The best thing to do is let him make mistakes and he will learn. After all we've all learnt from our mistakes.
Quote by duncanlondon
It would be easy to overlook the point here. Most guys will say there is no threat or challenge. That is part of the defense mechanism at work. And that is just what I have done.

I'm sorry but I disagree. I sincerely think that most guys mature enough would definitely see younger ones like the one we're talking about not as a threat. I would see more of a threat an intelligent, articulate and funny mature man because he'd be competing with me at my level (not that I'm articulate intellgent or funny but you get the idea).
Quote by duncanlondon
Guys do go through an initial period of sensitivity and there is some establishing of respect and what they will accept from each other. So in that sense it is a challenge to deal with a younger man who demands more attention.

No, definitely no. Again using the 19 year old as example. His behaviour is so ridiculous it beggars belief. More than a threat or a challenge I see him as an embarrassment to the male polpulation.
Quote by duncanlondon
A young fit and feisty guy can be intimidating and he may push the limits. This can be worrying and force one to make decisions or draw conclusions. But there is a long term way around these issues.

I do not find young fit and feisty guys intimidating at all and that is the truth. As I said if he were very clever, funny, mature in his outlook yes, I'd see him as serious competition.
Quote by Rainbows
But it made me wonder, in vew of the mentor thread, if any of the older, more mature, more experienced single blokes thought it might be a good idea to PM hm and explain nicely why he might get a bashing for that, and then offer to help him get established.

I would be SOOOO worried about being misunderstood. Anyway, when I was 21 I knew everything in the world there was that was worth knowing, so probably they do too.
What's a minor faux pas against the hundreds of thousand of young crumpet to pork and all the years beyond number in which to do it. Just another KB, so what?
Of course with greater maturity and scarcer opportunity one suddenly becomes a caring sharing polite male, trying to look like you actually CARE, but it wasn't always that way!
OK, so I'm not a bloke. Or single. But....
When I was a regular (Godlike) user on a very vanilla forum, I used to get threatened by interloping, new females. Did not matter their age, really. Just I was one of a tiny minority of women in there and I was a 'superstar'.
Honestly, I really did feel that they were pissing on my tree and I was totally arsey about it. I would be bitchy and abusive, all in the name of "humour". Anyone who did not get my 'joke' was then derided as someone with no SoH by me and my cronies.
Then I got to talking to one such noob and she was in tears because of how I treated her. Suddenly realising that there posts are typed by actual people with feelings and whathaveyou made me take a step back and re-evaluate things.
Quote by Vix
OK, so I'm not a bloke. Or single. But....
When I was a regular (Godlike) user on a very vanilla forum, I used to get threatened by interloping, new females. Did not matter their age, really. Just I was one of a tiny minority of women in there and I was a 'superstar'.
Honestly, I really did feel that they were pissing on my tree and I was totally arsey about it. I would be bitchy and abusive, all in the name of "humour". Anyone who did not get my 'joke' was then derided as someone with no SoH by me and my cronies.
Then I got to talking to one such noob and she was in tears because of how I treated her. Suddenly realising that there posts are typed by actual people with feelings and whathaveyou made me take a step back and re-evaluate things.

And so you joined here and started where you left off lol :lol: Me, speaking as a perfect pillock of course!!
Oh and by the way - as a married, single bloke I don't feel threatened by anyone of any age - unless it's a vindictive 8 year old with an IQ of 175.
You're either a pillock - in which case you won't last (unless you've got a thick skin like me) or you ain't in which case you will. I like people who aren't pillocks - simple as that.
Quote by Rainbows
Just sitting here musing over the hello thread from a very young new single bloke, and I couldn't help but wonder: - in view of the comparative numbers of single blokes on the site - do the older, more mature guys find themselves somehow "threatened" by the younger blokes? This isn't a dig at anyone- and is a genuine question because I am interested.
A new bloke introduced himself today - and he felt it necessary to say that he drove what he perceived as a cool car, and described himself as being a "cool" bloke. For someone his age these things actually mean something (unfortunately).
But it made me wonder, in vew of the mentor thread, if any of the older, more mature, more experienced single blokes thought it might be a good idea to PM hm and explain nicely why he might get a bashing for that, and then offer to help him get established. Or would that be just not on due to some sort of manly competition thing? (remember I am a girlie - and I don't even understand butch dykes - let alone men confused )
I know I am not putting it over the way I want to - so if anyone else knows what I am trying to say here - please feel free to make my words readible :?

Wtf girl ya bin at the bong already?
Dont concern yerself with man stuff.
Pretty pink fluffy things n kittens is prolly best.
S wink :wink: :love:
Quote by westerross
- unless it's a vindictive 8 year old with an IQ of 175.

You called :shock:
lol
I learned the ropes fairly quickly in here. I never even stayed as a lurker for too long as I liked what I read and posted my thoughts (or lack of them).
I think I am one of these young people you are reffering to as I too want to be recognised and try and stand out of the crowd. I went about it with being polite and helpful with the only experience I had at the time that was relevant. That was computer geeky stuff wink
I wouldn't mind letting them make their own mistakes and learning as they go jsut like everybody else. If they have questions or are a strong character to 'stick the abuse' then they will stay.
As for the jealousy thing you mention Rainbows, yes I do believe it exsists. I was chatting to HarryO for a while and he point blankly told me he was jealous of my age. If one person is then chances are there maybe more that are less inclined to admit it.
Married female ... not sure I fit the post requestee's but ....
The problem is that if every newbie came on talking in text speak and strutting with their ego then we'd soon all get fed up ... whilst newbie baiting isn't particularly pleasant, it doesn't happen half as much as people think ... once maybe twice a week dunno it's just that people take remember it.
The majority of newbies that it happens to .. learn a lesson .. either that they need to rethink their attitude or leave and if they realise that it isn't necessarily personal against them but more against their attitude or posting style.
Whilst I appreciate text speak is the "in" thing, a few members are dyslexic ... how hard is it for them to fully read the words, when the more wordy fluent of us struggle. People whose native language isn't English? Surely they must struggle too. There's been a whole host of gripes about grammar this weekend, but come on people, education is free and we all have it ... It's not harder to type a real, decently constructed sentence than keep your finger on the ......... button (will admit to having that as one of my bad habits) and talking in txt speak.
An ego isn't going to get you into bed on this site ... having the piss taken out of you is part of the learning curve I guess ... I rarely take part in newbie baiting myself because I don't like it, but occasionally, just occasionally it can be useful.
C x
Quote by mattmoleman
As for the jealousy thing you mention Rainbows, yes I do believe it exsists. I was chatting to HarryO for a while and he point blankly told me he was jealous of my age. If one person is then chances are there maybe more that are less inclined to admit it.

Ah now there's a difference between feeling threatened and jealousy. I don't feel threatened by a younger bloke but I'm flucking jealous of 'em finding this place at a younger age. This, I think, is what HarryO was on about - I seem to remember him saying so in a thread.
24 years old. Bliss it was that dawn to be alive and to discover Swinging Heaven. Or something.