Read this if you are a lady after a young man!

5 Dec 2003

I'm 21 and would say I'm pretty good looking and have a very toned body. (many gym hours well spent!) I have a girlfriend but the whole swinging scene really interests me! (Doubt she would oblige!) I'm looking for an older lady to acompany me to some swingers clubs and perhaps teach me a thing or two! email
XXX

5 Dec 2003

Quote by fitboy212
perhaps teach me a thing or two! email

I would love to teach you a thing or two wink

:wink: know what I mean

5 Dec 2003

Twisted, regardless of gender, there is no way I would ever describe you as a lady! wink

Now leave the poor boy alone!
lhk
Kat

5 Dec 2003

Maybe the boy doesn't want left alone................

5 Dec 2003

Fred pulls up a chair and opens a beer..........
Someone call BlueXXX - this could be a fun thread! Hahahahaha
Fred

6 Dec 2003

Yeh, especially if he's straight like me! lol

Blue had a whale of a time when i told her i was straight! :lol:

6 Dec 2003

*Finds another chair - pulls it up - opens a beer and hands it to lancslad!*
Reckon we ought to charge for the show lancslad? Could get awful busy in here!
By the way - do you still shake when you are in the same room as Blue or has the therapy helped?
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

6 Dec 2003

Quote by Flintstones
By the way - do you still shake when you are in the same room as Blue or has the therapy helped?
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

It's not therapy he needs, but something similar to a pair of long-nosed pliers to get the vibro out that BlueXXX used.

:rotflmao: :grin:
Mal
wink

and pass the beers Fred, could be a long session!!

8 Dec 2003

*Passes a beer to Mal* "Cheers!"
Sure I have some of those pliers in my toolbox lancslad if you still feel uncomfortable?
Hey - has anyone seen fitboy212 since we mentioned blue? He seems to have gone strangely quiet!
"fitboy.....fitboy.....fitboy..... FITBOY"
Can't find him anywhere!
Hey this place is getting as untidy as the GFZ - havn't we got any girlies to clean up around here?
*throws another bottle top and an empty crisp packet on the coffee table!*
Fred

8 Dec 2003

Trips over a empty beer bottle ( where are them women when you need them ! ) did I here you say beer and a show ? Think I might stick around and pull up a chair also , Fred pass the beer mate this could get interesting lol

Rob

8 Dec 2003

"Rob - catch!"
If the coffe table is full put the empties on the floor - sure we will find some silly girlie will walk in at some point and clear up - don't you just hate it when they put those paper doilies on the coffee table though - always stick to your beer bottle!
Fred

8 Dec 2003

Quote by Flintstones
sure we will find some silly girlie will walk in at some point and clear up
Fred

Dangerous ground Fred, very dangerous rolleyes

We all know we women have to pick up after guys cos you are unable to do more then one thing at a time. Breathing and.......yep, breathing and even then some of you have to be reminded to expel
Dawn :thrilled:

8 Dec 2003

Lift your feet up guys.........Dawn's arrived to tidy the place up. biggrin

8 Dec 2003

Dawn,
There is a bag of washing there on the side - take it with you hun and let me have it back tomorrow? - There's a good girl!
No - you dont need to spray an air freshner hun - smells just fine as it is!
Someone turn the telly up - Dawns got the hoover out - would hate to miss any of the ice hockey commentary.
Dawn hun - go see if you can find fitboy 212 - we think he is hiding in the cupboard under the stairs.
Fred

8 Dec 2003

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

8 Dec 2003

Time for a search party before it becomes a posse!
Sent the poor fella an email - just to see if he comes back in!

Hi,
Just a word of warning!
People are looking for you in the Forum of Swinging Heaven!
Fancy dropping back into the thread you started and trying to save your skin - quite a crowd developing!
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/4365.html
Hahahahahahaha
Take it easy - won't hurt a bit!

Now ssshhhhhhhh - turn the music down - turn the lights off and we will surprise him if he ever comes back.
Dawn - stop spraying polish near my beer please! And where is that nice maids outfit we bought for you? :bounce:
Fred

8 Dec 2003

Okay which silly women keeps putting the toilet seat down ( damn I hate it when they do that ) rolleyes

Fred can I have a top up on the beer please and where is that Fitboy is he still with Blue ?? :giggle:
Rob

8 Dec 2003

I will make a note to tell the girlies to leave the seat up next time they clean it Rob - sorry about that - annoying ain't it!
*passes Rob another beer - realises the top is still on and uses the edge of the coffee table to open it*
Bide your time mate - Reckon Fitboy is on his way here - should be in a bit later!
Has anyone called Blue and Jags yet?
Fred

8 Dec 2003

Oh my god you guys are so funny, but sooooo dreaming. You got me laughing my head off, thanks boys. Now wake up before you get to the part about me 'polishing' your manhood's..... mind you..... :confused2:
Steve if your dream has anything to do with me feeling your arse then carry on wink

If Fred has a tune in his head about leaving a hat on then I'll be 36 next May, can you save it till then and lose the hat???
I am surprised you have managed to type and breathe, very impressive, before long you'll be able to use the TV remote too flipa

and make your own pot noodle :beer:
How can I end this? Keep up the good work? Nah, you reprobates don't do anything.
Hmmmm ok guys, Nurse Dawnies going to deprive you from bed baths unless you behave and clear up after yourselves!
Dawn :silly:

8 Dec 2003

Quote by Dawn
Steve if your dream has anything to do with me feeling your arse then carry on

It has now!! :bounce:
And thanks for tidying up Dawn.......fancy nipping down the shop for some more beer?

8 Dec 2003

Quote by steveg_nw
And thanks for tidying up Dawn.......fancy nipping down the shop for some more beer?

Well I can see I'm not going to win here so, want a mag off the top shelf with it Steve???
Dawn :silly:

8 Dec 2003

Dawn sweetie I asked you to tape the football for me and it looks like you have messed up and taped some shite about nature rolleyes

( and you said you could work the remote control ) its a good job your good at cleaning and washing or there would be no use for you :giggle: ......Now wheres my pump I need to inflate something wink

Rob

8 Dec 2003

Forget the mag Dawn........bring bandages!! :shock:
Steve opens a fresh beer, kicks off his shoes and sits back in his chair.
Hey guys, anybody else want a beer before the fight starts?

8 Dec 2003

awww Rob, you stopped the tape before you got to the good part, it wasn't nature, it was naturists. As usually Rob, you were too quick :grin:

Quote by letsflirt69
you said you could work the remote control

No hun, you have never let me use it and I am unsure if I know what it even looks like blink

Quote by letsflirt69
......Now wheres my pump I need to inflate something

and I thought you took up riding bikes and had a puncture dunno

what would I know. I'm only a girl!!!!
Dawn :silly:

8 Dec 2003

Dawn aint that always the way just when it gets good 8) .........As for the remote , I guess you keep taking the batteries out of it so you wouldnt know how it works rolleyes

( if only the rampant rabbit could switch channels ) 69position

I dunno Fred another beer please mate..... wink

Rob

8 Dec 2003

*staggers into room*...shumun shay beeeeer? *falls over*

8 Dec 2003

Oh my God!
Which one of you has left used kleenex under the pile of empty cans???
Who has been cutting their toe nails by the fridge???
and if you were better men then I wouldn't need batteries!
biscuit, go lie down before you fall down.
Phew......I'm so glad I'm not male
Dawn :silly:

8 Dec 2003

Quote by Dawn_Mids
If Fred has a tune in his head about leaving a hat on then I'll be 36 next May, can you save it till then and lose the hat???

Hehehe - Your on! - Although having reviewed the video it may take me a full year to recover and I definitely need some practice! But your wish is my command oh lucious one! worship

Quote by Dawn_Mids
I am surprised you have managed to type and breathe, very impressive, before long you'll be able to use the TV remote too and make your own pot noodle :beer:

The question is - with all these girlies around - why would we want to? rotflmao

:doh:

Quote by Dawn_Mids
Hmmmm ok guys, Nurse Dawnies going to deprive you from bed baths unless you behave and clear up after yourselves!

Hey - I'll hold out for "The Full Monty" promise next year - fight amongst yourselves fellas :boxing: if you wanna roll over and let nursie tickle your fancy! :twisted: :twisted:
Dawn - hurry up with the beer love - a man could die of thirst here! :taz:
Fred
XXXXXXXXX <<< for nursie Dawn!

8 Dec 2003

Its a shame fitboy aint here he would have liked this thread :giggle: Dawn please put the batteries back when you have finished otherwise I'll have to get up and change the channel rolleyes

Gee im garsping is she back from the offy yet with our beers confused

:
Rob

8 Dec 2003

Right lads - cavalry is here!
4 cases of beer in fridge, box of mixed flavour crisps on the side, curry amd Pizza's on order!
By my reckoning fitboy should show around 9!
*What the hell is this kleenex stuck on my shoe?*
Whose idea was it to hang the bottle opener on Dawns suspender - she keeps disappearing to the toilets to check her hair - and steve keeps going to help her! 20 minutes they have been gone!
*Opens another beer on edge of coffee table*
Shall we get a jug of water and put biscuit's hand in it and have a sweepstake to see what time he will piss himself to pass the time before fitboy gets here? It's OK, Dawn can get protein stains out of her maids clothes every week so one more stain on the carpet won't be a problem!
Fred