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Recreational Sex

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Just a thought and be gentle please because I'm new around here.
I came for the joys of recreational sex and have had some good fun. In some ways however this 'pleasures of the flesh' kind of sex doesn't do a lot for me.....
Why?
I've found it has lacked sincerity and commitment on the part of the men (I'm ducking). Promises are made and rarely kept, new activities are discussed but rarely take place....that sort of thing. I know I've probably met the wrong people but that's my experience!
I enjoy it all and love a variety of sexual experiences however I don't feel I've really been fulfilled in all this. Perhaps I'm missing something or am not cut out for the swinging scene.
Now you can you can kick my arse!!
Quote by Hannahrose
I've found it has lacked sincerity and commitment on the part of the men (I'm ducking). Promises are made and rarely kept, new activities are discussed but rarely take place....that sort of thing. !!

In my opinion swinging isnt about any commitments or promises
maybe your are looking for more of a relationship than a sexual no strings thing? heaven dating (sh's sister site may be worthy of a quick peek
someone will be along with a better answer soon though
Tan x
Hannahrose
Maybe you are just meeting / making contact with the wrong sort of people. dunno
If you can come along to social or munches (found in lets meet up)
That way you can chat / flirt/ drink / dance with people who you may like, but with no expectation of play.
Good luck
I am doing this from withiin my marriage with a non aware husband so not so easy.
I think you're right and I'm better off with one extra-marital guy devoted to me. We can always go swinging together. However I would be interested in the socials but do they happen far southwestwards?
HR xx
hey hannahrose (cute name btw),
I totally appreciate where you're coming from.
The problem with this scene is that it attracts the dregs (no offence to anyone here).
Don't get me wrong, i've met some great chilled out people in this community. But i've also met people with real issues.
Loner guys who are DESPERATE for a lay, who have no clue as to how to talk to or seduce a woman. Guys who were dumped by their wives/girlfriends and are completely lost as to how to attract another girl. Therefore they come to these places looking for "free sex". Guys who only see women as a piece of meet - you can virtually smell their desperation (just read half the posts of single guys on here).
Then you also get the dysfunctional couple. Guys pressuring their girlfriends/wives into swinging - basically using them as levereage so they can fuck other girls and satisfy their own needs. Or women doing the same. If you ever meet a couple like this, you can pretty much feel the extremely negative vibe.
As a woman, your feelings and sexual desires are as legitimiate as any guys out there. Women are hornier and dirtier than men, and fantasise as much as anybody. That's all fine and good, and you've obviously been looking for a way to exercise your desires (well done to you!)
But you come to places like this, you find a lot of leaches.
See, things are different for girls, its pointless denying it. A girl wants to be fucked by a guy of VALUE. A guy with self-worth, confidence, inner strength, and someone with a lot going on in his life. In other words, a "fuck worthy man". But the VAST MAJORITY of guys you find on here are faaar from it. They are needy, enfeebled, and have no capability of living up to a woman's emotional expectations.
A chick wants to be rammed and have multi-orgasms, no strings sex etc. etc. But she wants the "no-strings" fun to be with a strong confident man, with a deep sense of him self. That's deeply erotic on an emotional level. She does not want to be pounded by a loser, who most women in the real world would not look twice at. A guy who can't even speak up for himself and has ZERO social value. Unfortunately you find a lot of beta guys hoping to get a piece of the action in this community.
If you've been in this community for a little while, you've probably fucked your fair share of these guys. You know, guys who post messages on these forums "why do people not reply to PM's???" etc. etc. When you get taken by this needy guy, of course you're gonna feel empty. You feel like you've been penetrated by a sweaty geek. A guy who feels lucky to have you, and you sense how much validation he gets from you. Thats an emotional drain for any women. Guys who TAKE VALUE, like bums asking for spare change - "please will you fuck me? please? i'm really horny.. oh come on!"
What you need to find is that RARE guy - the fuck worthy man. The guy who GIVES VALUE. A guy who doesn't need ANYTHIGN from anyone. A guy who doesn't give a shit about sex, but only enjoys it as an extension to his already awesome life. A guy who doesn't crave your acceptance because it will make him feel more like a man - but a guy who ALREADY feels like a man. A guy who other women find attractive automatically just by being in his presence - due to his masculine strength, his inner self assuredness.
You wont mind no-strings sex with this guy, cos a) you know he has no shortage of female attention and b) because he arouses you on an emotional level because he's an alpha male.
When a woman submits to a guy sexually, when she gets horney and starts screaming her head off having multiple-orgasms - half that is because the guy doing it has given her that emotional kick she needs, to feel like a woman. Not some desperate wimp who has no clue as to who he is.
So to conclude - you as a woman will get offers of sex 24/7 no matter what (unlike even the most attractive guy). It is the WOMAN who choses. So don't be afraid to exercise that choice by only fucking/meeting guys who meet your standards of what a man should be.
Quote by jevad
hey hannahrose (cute name btw),
I totally appreciate where you're coming from.
The problem with this scene is that it attracts the dregs (no offence to anyone here).
Don't get me wrong, i've met some great chilled out people in this community. But i've also met people with real issues.
Loner guys who are DESPERATE for a lay, who have no clue as to how to talk to or seduce a woman. Guys who were dumped by their wives/girlfriends and are completely lost as to how to attract another girl. Therefore they come to these places looking for "free sex". Guys who only see women as a piece of meet - you can virtually smell their desperation (just read half the posts of single guys on here).
Then you also get the dysfunctional couple. Guys pressuring their girlfriends/wives into swinging - basically using them as levereage so they can fuck other girls and satisfy their own needs. Or women doing the same. If you ever meet a couple like this, you can pretty much feel the extremely negative vibe.
As a woman, your feelings and sexual desires are as legitimiate as any guys out there. Women are hornier and dirtier than men, and fantasise as much as anybody. That's all fine and good, and you've obviously been looking for a way to exercise your desires (well done to you!)
But you come to places like this, you find a lot of leaches.
See, things are different for girls, its pointless denying it. A girl wants to be fucked by a guy of VALUE. A guy with self-worth, confidence, inner strength, and someone with a lot going on in his life. In other words, a "fuck worthy man". But the VAST MAJORITY of guys you find on here are faaar from it. They are needy, enfeebled, and have no capability of living up to a woman's emotional expectations.
A chick wants to be rammed and have multi-orgasms, no strings sex etc. etc. But she wants the "no-strings" fun to be with a strong confident man, with a deep sense of him self. That's deeply erotic on an emotional level. She does not want to be pounded by a loser, who most women in the real world would not look twice at. A guy who can't even speak up for himself and has ZERO social value. Unfortunately you find a lot of beta guys hoping to get a piece of the action in this community.
If you've been in this community for a little while, you've probably fucked your fair share of these guys. You know, guys who post messages on these forums "why do people not reply to PM's???" etc. etc. When you get taken by this needy guy, of course you're gonna feel empty. You feel like you've been penetrated by a sweaty geek. A guy who feels lucky to have you, and you sense how much validation he gets from you. Thats an emotional drain for any women. Guys who TAKE VALUE, like bums asking for spare change - "please will you fuck me? please? i'm really horny.. oh come on!"
What you need to find is that RARE guy - the fuck worthy man. The guy who GIVES VALUE. A guy who doesn't need ANYTHIGN from anyone. A guy who doesn't give a shit about sex, but only enjoys it as an extension to his already awesome life. A guy who doesn't crave your acceptance because it will make him feel more like a man - but a guy who ALREADY feels like a man. A guy who other women find attractive automatically just by being in his presence - due to his masculine strength, his inner self assuredness.
You wont mind no-strings sex with this guy, cos a) you know he has no shortage of female attention and b) because he arouses you on an emotional level because he's an alpha male.
When a woman submits to a guy sexually, when she gets horney and starts screaming her head off having multiple-orgasms - half that is because the guy doing it has given her that emotional kick she needs, to feel like a woman. Not some desperate wimp who has no clue as to who he is.
So to conclude - you as a woman will get offers of sex 24/7 no matter what (unlike even the most attractive guy). It is the WOMAN who choses. So don't be afraid to exercise that choice by only fucking/meeting guys who meet your standards of what a man should be.

what a pile of pretentious shit ,from someone who hasn`t even filled in their profile,and has the brass neck to insult virtually every male swinger,who by the way will get more action on here than someone with a profile full of blanks
oh yes of course, the hallowed profile!
Yes indeed the hallowed profile. I wouldn't even consider someone who hadn't taken the time to put at least the minumum inforation in it. It's like going to an interview in shorts and flipflops.
I'll come back to this.......
H.x
Quote by annejohn
what a pile of pretentious shit ,from someone who hasn`t even filled in their profile,and has the brass neck to insult virtually every male swinger,who by the way will get more action on here than someone with a profile full of blanks

amen
Quote by H-x
Yes indeed the hallowed profile. I wouldn't even consider someone who hadn't taken the time to put at least the minumum inforation in it. It's like going to an interview in shorts and flipflops.
I'll come back to this.......
H.x

not if you're the one doing the interviewing baby cool
Quote by annejohn
hey hannahrose (cute name btw),
I totally appreciate where you're coming from.
The problem with this scene is that it attracts the dregs (no offence to anyone here).
Don't get me wrong, i've met some great chilled out people in this community. But i've also met people with real issues.
Loner guys who are DESPERATE for a lay, who have no clue as to how to talk to or seduce a woman. Guys who were dumped by their wives/girlfriends and are completely lost as to how to attract another girl. Therefore they come to these places looking for "free sex". Guys who only see women as a piece of meet - you can virtually smell their desperation (just read half the posts of single guys on here).
Then you also get the dysfunctional couple. Guys pressuring their girlfriends/wives into swinging - basically using them as levereage so they can fuck other girls and satisfy their own needs. Or women doing the same. If you ever meet a couple like this, you can pretty much feel the extremely negative vibe.
As a woman, your feelings and sexual desires are as legitimiate as any guys out there. Women are hornier and dirtier than men, and fantasise as much as anybody. That's all fine and good, and you've obviously been looking for a way to exercise your desires (well done to you!)
But you come to places like this, you find a lot of leaches.
See, things are different for girls, its pointless denying it. A girl wants to be fucked by a guy of VALUE. A guy with self-worth, confidence, inner strength, and someone with a lot going on in his life. In other words, a "fuck worthy man". But the VAST MAJORITY of guys you find on here are faaar from it. They are needy, enfeebled, and have no capability of living up to a woman's emotional expectations.
A chick wants to be rammed and have multi-orgasms, no strings sex etc. etc. But she wants the "no-strings" fun to be with a strong confident man, with a deep sense of him self. That's deeply erotic on an emotional level. She does not want to be pounded by a loser, who most women in the real world would not look twice at. A guy who can't even speak up for himself and has ZERO social value. Unfortunately you find a lot of beta guys hoping to get a piece of the action in this community.
If you've been in this community for a little while, you've probably fucked your fair share of these guys. You know, guys who post messages on these forums "why do people not reply to PM's???" etc. etc. When you get taken by this needy guy, of course you're gonna feel empty. You feel like you've been penetrated by a sweaty geek. A guy who feels lucky to have you, and you sense how much validation he gets from you. Thats an emotional drain for any women. Guys who TAKE VALUE, like bums asking for spare change - "please will you fuck me? please? i'm really horny.. oh come on!"
What you need to find is that RARE guy - the fuck worthy man. The guy who GIVES VALUE. A guy who doesn't need ANYTHIGN from anyone. A guy who doesn't give a shit about sex, but only enjoys it as an extension to his already awesome life. A guy who doesn't crave your acceptance because it will make him feel more like a man - but a guy who ALREADY feels like a man. A guy who other women find attractive automatically just by being in his presence - due to his masculine strength, his inner self assuredness.
You wont mind no-strings sex with this guy, cos a) you know he has no shortage of female attention and b) because he arouses you on an emotional level because he's an alpha male.
When a woman submits to a guy sexually, when she gets horney and starts screaming her head off having multiple-orgasms - half that is because the guy doing it has given her that emotional kick she needs, to feel like a woman. Not some desperate wimp who has no clue as to who he is.
So to conclude - you as a woman will get offers of sex 24/7 no matter what (unlike even the most attractive guy). It is the WOMAN who choses. So don't be afraid to exercise that choice by only fucking/meeting guys who meet your standards of what a man should be.

what a pile of pretentious shit ,from someone who hasn`t even filled in their profile,and has the brass neck to insult virtually every male swinger,who by the way will get more action on here than someone with a profile full of blanks
:thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:
Well said annejohn, I was thinking the same thing. The longer it went on the duller and more pretentious it got.
Also calling a woman a "chic" mad :x :x
What century are you from jevad? Biggest load of old bollocks I've read in a long time.
Quote by jevad
Yes indeed the hallowed profile. I wouldn't even consider someone who hadn't taken the time to put at least the minumum inforation in it. It's like going to an interview in shorts and flipflops.
I'll come back to this.......
H.x

not if you're the one doing the interviewing baby cool
You're starting to irritate me . That's just disrespectful.
mad
Quote by jevad
not if you're the one doing the interviewing baby cool

You can only hold an interview if people apply.
Baby.
H.x
Quote by H-x

not if you're the one doing the interviewing baby cool

You can only hold an interview if people apply.
Baby.
H.x
:laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove:
Quote by Mrcoupleseekfun
what a pile of pretentious shit ,from someone who hasn`t even filled in their profile,and has the brass neck to insult virtually every male swinger,who by the way will get more action on here than someone with a profile full of blanks

amen
a second amen from me
Quote by H-x

not if you're the one doing the interviewing baby cool

You can only hold an interview if people apply.
Baby.
H.x
Your mom! biggrin
Chillaxe guys. Just an opinion on male female relations in the 21st century. I love chicks, and dicks, and chicks with dicks. :D
I wasn't talking about ALL of you... all the people who've responded and will ever respond in this thread are totally cool ;)
Hannahrose, I'm having difficulty understanding what it is you are looking for. As you are already married to someone else I'm finding it hard to accept you would have the right the ask someone to give you commitment when you cannot give it wholly yourself.
If it's sex you are looking for, there will be no shortage, if you are looking for a full on relationship/partner, have you not got that already? dunno
By the way, I'm not knocking you for having an affair, hundreds of people do so for their own reasons and I'm of the opinion each to their own, but when you say you think the person you are having sex with lacks sincerity, it could well be your status that's preventing them from "giving" you any more.
I don't know your situation and don't know why you are looking elsewhere, but strongly believe your own lack of fulfillment could be coming from within rather than without. 'Recreational sex' you said you are looking for and this tends to imply "playing and having fun" - then there will be very little if any commitment or sincerity from your playmates.
My honest opinion as always.
Quote by Mrcoupleseekfun
jevad - are you on crack or something? confused

can i have some
bolt
Quote by jaymar
Hannahrose, I'm having difficulty understanding what it is you are looking for. As you are already married to someone else I'm finding it hard to accept you would have the right the ask someone to give you commitment when you cannot give it wholly yourself.
If it's sex you are looking for, there will be no shortage, if you are looking for a full on relationship/partner, have you not got that already? dunno
By the way, I'm not knocking you for having an affair, hundreds of people do so for their own reasons and I'm of the opinion each to their own, but when you say you think the person you are having sex with lacks sincerity, it could well be your status that's preventing them from "giving" you any more.
I don't know your situation and don't know why you are looking elsewhere, but strongly believe your own lack of fulfillment could be coming from within rather than without.
My honest opinion as always.

She is in need of an "alpha" male. rolleyes
Quote by jaymar
Hannahrose, I'm having difficulty understanding what it is you are looking for. As you are already married to someone else I'm finding it hard to accept you would have the right the ask someone to give you commitment when you cannot give it wholly yourself.
If it's sex you are looking for, there will be no shortage, if you are looking for a full on relationship/partner, have you not got that already? dunno
By the way, I'm not knocking you for having an affair, hundreds of people do so for their own reasons and I'm of the opinion each to their own, but when you say you think the person you are having sex with lacks sincerity, it could well be your status that's preventing them from "giving" you any more.
I don't know your situation and don't know why you are looking elsewhere, but strongly believe your own lack of fulfillment could be coming from within rather than without.
My honest opinion as always.

Saves me typing biggrin
H.x
Quote by jevad
As a woman, your feelings and sexual desires are as legitimiate as any guys out there.
What you need to find is that RARE guy - the fuck worthy man. The guy who GIVES VALUE. A guy who doesn't need ANYTHIGN from anyone. A guy who doesn't give a shit about sex, but only enjoys it as an extension to his already awesome life. A guy who doesn't crave your acceptance because it will make him feel more like a man - but a guy who ALREADY feels like a man. A guy who other women find attractive automatically just by being in his presence - due to his masculine strength, his inner self assuredness.
You wont mind no-strings sex with this guy, cos a) you know he has no shortage of female attention and b) because he arouses you on an emotional level because he's an alpha male.

Hmmmmm.... am sure Hannahrose did not need telling that her feelings (or any woman's for that matter!) are legotimate... how flippin' patronising is that?!?!?!
Oh and am sure I am not the only one who could think of nothing worse than having sex with such an arrogant, self-obsessed guy as the one you described. Alpha Males? No ta.... It's not all about masculine strength or guys who have women flocking around them. In fact, for me, some of the sexiest guys are the ones who don't flaunt it and the one's who aren't 'obviously' sexy....
Anyway, just my opinion...
Nola xx
Quote by jaymar
Hannahrose, I'm having difficulty understanding what it is you are looking for. As you are already married to someone else I'm finding it hard to accept you would have the right the ask someone to give you commitment when you cannot give it wholly yourself.
My honest opinion as always.

i thought i was reading it all wrong but jaymar im getting same thought as you from the op :twisted: im not mad after all
Quote by jaymar
Hannahrose, I'm having difficulty understanding what it is you are looking for. As you are already married to someone else I'm finding it hard to accept you would have the right the ask someone to give you commitment when you cannot give it wholly yourself.
If it's sex you are looking for, there will be no shortage, if you are looking for a full on relationship/partner, have you not got that already? dunno
By the way, I'm not knocking you for having an affair, hundreds of people do so for their own reasons and I'm of the opinion each to their own, but when you say you think the person you are having sex with lacks sincerity, it could well be your status that's preventing them from "giving" you any more.
I don't know your situation and don't know why you are looking elsewhere, but strongly believe your own lack of fulfillment could be coming from within rather than without. 'Recreational sex' you said you are looking for and this tends to imply "playing and having fun" - then there will be very little if any commitment or sincerity from your playmates.
My honest opinion as always.

worship Jaymar... it's like you read my mind!
Nola xx
Quote by jevad
Yes indeed the hallowed profile. I wouldn't even consider someone who hadn't taken the time to put at least the minumum inforation in it. It's like going to an interview in shorts and flipflops.
I'll come back to this.......
H.x

not if you're the one doing the interviewing baby cool
Ah i see, he is trying to show us silly girls what to look out for. :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: Cos of course, none of us can think for ourselves can we tut tut..........and only 26 too bless.........perhaps you would like another stab at what you were trying to say............but nicely please.................
Quote by noladreams30
[
Hmmmmm.... am sure Hannahrose did not need telling that her feelings (or any woman's for that matter!) are legotimate... how flippin' patronising is that?!?!?!
Oh and am sure I am not the only one who could think of nothing worse than having sex with such an arrogant, self-obsessed guy as the one you described. Alpha Males? No ta.... It's not all about masculine strength or guys who have women flocking around them. In fact, for me, some of the sexiest guys are the ones who don't flaunt it and the one's who aren't 'obviously' sexy....

a) Thought it was better to say its totally cool she has these feelings before people start psychonalysing her (i.e as they have done by saying her problems are "within rather than without"), or making issues out of the fact she's already married (as they have done as well).
b) Nah, you misunderstood, it's not about FLAUNTING it. It's about having guys who aren't "needy". It;s about guys, as i said about, for whom sex is just a fun addition to their already awesome life. And any given time, they can take it or leave it if its offered. Not about arrogance - about self-esteem. Considering the number of people on here who are CONSTANTLY complaining about single guys... i think i'm on the money with the less than satisfying enounters ;)
Hannahrose, I think Jaymars response was closest to my thoughts.......
The one thing I have discovered on SH is there are surprises around the corner when you least expect them......
If you chose to remain a member on SH then I would say stay positive, and have fun......life is too short
Quote by Mistress_39
Ah i see, he is trying to show us silly girls what to look out for. :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: Cos of course, none of us can think for ourselves can we tut tut..........and only 26 too bless.........perhaps you would like another stab at what you were trying to say............but nicely please.................

confused umm, no i was talking to hannah as she had the problem and needed advice so i gave mine... x
Quote by jevad

Ah i see, he is trying to show us silly girls what to look out for. :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: Cos of course, none of us can think for ourselves can we tut tut..........and only 26 too bless.........perhaps you would like another stab at what you were trying to say............but nicely please.................

confused umm, no i was talking to hannah as she had the problem and needed advice so i gave mine... x
Oh my apologies I thought this was the Forum..........
Quote by Mistress_39

Ah i see, he is trying to show us silly girls what to look out for. :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: Cos of course, none of us can think for ourselves can we tut tut..........and only 26 too bless.........perhaps you would like another stab at what you were trying to say............but nicely please.................

confused umm, no i was talking to hannah as she had the problem and needed advice so i gave mine... x
Oh my apologies I thought this was the Forum..........
.. I mean i wasn't trying to "show us silly girlies" anything. I was addressing Hannah's specific problems from my own personal experience. Which she can take or leave how she wants.
There, glad we got that cleared up. Now where's that smile? biggrin