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Responding to mail

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I have to admit if someone mails me who is way off from what my profile says I am looking for I rarely respond, as to be honest I don't understand why they bothered in the first place. If someone is purely paying me a compliment and acknowledges they are not expecting any more then I will say thank you.
However, I have noticed increasingly when I have sent messages back, just saying thanks for your message but sorry not for me. I'm getting really really nice messages back thanking me for at least responding.
Are people on here really not bothering to at least acknowledge interest? Surely if someone has made an effort to email you and show interest the least you can do is acknowledge it?
If this is typical, no wonder so many guys cutnpaste which is one of my pet hates.
So... the question is. Do you reply even when you are not really interested and if not always, which times do you choose not to?
There have been many threads posted about replying to mails and why people don't do it. The search button is not my friend so cannot point you in the direction of a recent post lol.
We do not respond to winks or one liners. If someone has taken the time to respond to an add for example we will try to respond to everyone, however sometimes we can get upwards to 50 replies to an add and we simply don't have the time to respond to each and everyone of them.
I reply most times. Sometimes just a Hi. I never, not so far anyway responded to a wink. First time for everything, as they say around here!
Sometimes I just ache for the return message. Sometimes we get personal, sometimes I hope to get personal.
On the whole PMs are for saying things to special people, that I just would not say on the open forum.
Travis
PS Having read your profile, there is a wink on it's way to you, I know you like them.
Quote by
I reply most times. Sometimes just a Hi. I never, not so far anyway responded to a wink. First time for everything, as they say around here!
Sometimes I just ache for the return message. Sometimes we get personal, sometimes I hope to get personal.
On the whole PMs are for saying things to special people, that I just would not say on the open forum.
Travis
PS Having read your profile, there is a wink on it's way to you, I know you like them.

smackbottom
You know what thats for :giggle:
It's certainly nice when you get a reply. Well...so long as it's not a horrible one.
I recently sent a pm to someone who put some nice quotes on the "Quote" thread and I said how much I liked them. Just simply that and it was nice to get a reply. Replies can be quite uplifting because someone is taking the trouble to get back to you.
I always reply to anyone that pays a compliment about the profile, pictures or videos. I just think it is curtesy, winks are a whole different thing I never know how to respond to those so don't tend to, as like many of us I prefer a more personal message....
Sam x
I always responded to all my pm's but I've got really bad over the last year. Takes me ages to get round to replying these days redface surprisedops:
It does depend on what's already in my pm box tho as well! I try to respond in order of importance...
It is nice to have a break from replying to pm's that can take you all night just dealing with them sometimes and just enjoy the site and cruise around etc...
It would be nice to a have a *thanks but no thanks* reply choice.
Its my august resolution to respont to more mail and quicker redface
I think my settings are set to not accept winks. Least some blurb comes up saying something like that so I don't have to deal with them.
I think it would be good also if there was a 'thanks but no thanks' button you could click. It would save time and show that you have made an effort to respond.
Venus, female members here have posted in the past about brief "thanks but no thanks" responses they have sent being seen by some pushy guys as an invitation to start a dialogue about "why not", when it isn't welcome. That can understandably put them off replying at all.
Also, some females have posted about getting several hundred replies to an ad, and the sheer impossibility of having the time to respond even briefly to them all.
K I can understand that when you have an advert up that you get too many to answer to, funnily enough this does happen to me being a single female my in box is rather full too.
What I mean is the normal daily messages that come along and surely if you have replied once and someone then decides to make it an 'invite' you don't have to feel obliged to reply to any further ones.
Not sure this is a problem that single men suffer from but
if any ladies want to fill my in box with PMs complimenting me or generally talking to me I can see if I'll reply
Yes this is a rather sad way top proke mail redface
Quote by keeno
Not sure this is a problem that single men suffer from but
if any ladies want to fill my in box with PMs complimenting me or generally talking to me I can see if I'll reply

Yeah Keeno, I did think of putting something like that myself in my post above, but...
I wouldn't dare. :wary:
Quote by venus68
So... the question is. Do you reply even when you are not really interested and if not always, which times do you choose not to?

Always, it would be rude not to.
If you answered every mail from every male who has not bothered to fill in their profile or put pics on there or read your profile or your ad you would have no time for real swinging.
Hands up to being one that doesn't reply to all mail.
If I receive just a general email then I will reply and get a bit of banter going.
If I get an email asking for a meet then I don't respond, as it's clearly stated on my profile that I am not looking to meet anyone. This shows me that the sender has not fully read my profile and isn't particularly interested in what I have to say - so why waste my time in replying?
1 in 10, is about my average, but I will say Ive never had anything nasty back in reply, what I find difficult is remembering who youve mailed in the past, as Im pretty sure,Ive mailed people on more than one occasion.
But you've got to keep trying!!
since ive been here ive had at least 50 messages that have been ignored.
a reply saying thanks but no thanks at least makes me think you are a decent human.
half the time now i cant even be bothered to put any effort into them, id rather just compliment someone or crack a joke!
Quote by bbw_wboro
Hands up to being one that doesn't reply to all mail.
If I receive just a general email then I will reply and get a bit of banter going.
If I get an email asking for a meet then I don't respond, as it's clearly stated on my profile that I am not looking to meet anyone. This shows me that the sender has not fully read my profile and isn't particularly interested in what I have to say - so why waste my time in replying?

This could be me writing this - ditto to everything, bbw_wboro!
Quote by red_dragon2006
since ive been here ive had at least 50 messages that have been ignored.
a reply saying thanks but no thanks at least makes me think you are a decent human.
half the time now i cant even be bothered to put any effort into them, id rather just compliment someone or crack a joke!

Out of interest, do you get more replies when you do this? I wouldn't be at all surprised if you did. :thumbup:
I used to have an extensive profile and I replied to anyone that had sent a personalised message, even tho' I had stated that I would look for those that I was interested in. I politely brought their attention to that and thanked them for their interest.
Now, I don't reply at all unless I am in the mood and/or I have time. I have become bored with dealing with people who cut and paste or who think that they have 'wonder cock' and then make thinly vieled hints about the BOGOF deal that they think is my relationship. rolleyes
I still find what I am looking for and get less hassle along the way.
Im guilty of copy and paste, but I dont see the problen with that, that mail suits most adverts, why is it considered not good?
Quote by Rising
Im guilty of copy and paste, but I dont see the problen with that, that mail suits most adverts, why is it considered not good?

I prefer that the person wants to fuck me and that we have interests in common (sexually I mean. I couldn't care less about whether they like reading, music etc) If they copy and paste then they are making no effort to be interested and match up common interests.
I know this is academic as I have removed my ad and profile. But I am referring to 'back in the day' when I did have a full profile.
Quote by Cherrytree
since ive been here ive had at least 50 messages that have been ignored.
a reply saying thanks but no thanks at least makes me think you are a decent human.
half the time now i cant even be bothered to put any effort into them, id rather just compliment someone or crack a joke!

Out of interest, do you get more replies when you do this? I wouldn't be at all surprised if you did. :thumbup:
i get some, but i wouldnt say more.
ive sent genuine nice compliments to women (no pervyness or asks to meet/play) and youd be suprised how many people cant be bothered to reply to those aswell!
Quote by splendid_
Im guilty of copy and paste, but I dont see the problen with that, that mail suits most adverts, why is it considered not good?

I prefer that the person wants to fuck me and that we have interests in common (sexually I mean. I couldn't care less about whether they like reading, music etc) If they copy and paste then they are making no effort to be interested and match up common interests.
I know this is academic as I have removed my ad and profile. But I am referring to 'back in the day' when I did have a full profile.
I will admit to being a cut and paster but that's only because I found myself sending roughly the same reply to all the adverts I respond to. (Note if an advert/profile clearly wants something I can't give or doesn't want something I am then I don't respond). The more specific an advert the more chance any reply from me won't be a cut and paste. A simple I am a woman/couple looking for a good time ad will get a cut and paste. Whereas I am a woman/couple looking for a good time with a guy with 1,2,3 but without i, ii, iii involving X, Y, Z (in fact all the alphabet) will get a much more detailed reply (if i fit). Ads will get you what you put in, the good replies will be easier to spot the more you have in them and good replies usually mean compatible meets.
I understand people not replying as there isn't a simple thanks but no thanks response (and sending messages costs money unless you were an early member). I know some people don't like them as they lead to the question why not? Although if someone sent one to me I wouldn't ask, but I have thanked people for actually sending similar messages in the past. But on other similar sites they're an option and I've never had a why not on the few occassions I've used them.
Plus those people with extras can customise their own winks so could quite easily send a thanks but no thanks message (probably with a notice saying it was an automated repsonse) without too much extra effort.
For guys I think it is the question of odds. We outnumber everyone else and so few are looking for single males in return. You can put your best effort and lots of time in to make contact, describe yourself etc and it comes to nothing so many times that it becomes tempting to find short cuts and also to spread your net a little wider.
Once you make contact of any sort there is a thread of conversation and it is easier to focus on the thread and communicate. I hate one line chat ups but the point is they get the ball rolling or not without putting hours into a gamble?
I think it is also a way of making friends if not lovers
Shay
It didn't take me long to realise, that as a single guy I have to (rightly or wrongly) 'sell myself' in my PMs to people.
I'd like to think that if I took the time to write a proper PM to someone, they would realise effort had gone into it, and so would at least respond.... but often this is not the case. It can be very disappointing, and my experience is that couples are just as bad at not replying as single females.
But I'm developing a thick skin, and I shall persevere lol
Quote by Misterwood
It didn't take me long to realise, that as a single guy I have to (rightly or wrongly) 'sell myself' in my PMs to people.
I'd like to think that if I took the time to write a proper PM to someone, they would realise effort had gone into it, and so would at least respond.... but often this is not the case. It can be very disappointing, and my experience is that couples are just as bad at not replying as single females.
But I'm developing a thick skin, and I shall persevere lol

agree with everything there mate!
basically, if you dont like rejection.....dont come here as a single male! lol
I have to admit that going through my inbox this evening was as ever a rather swift effort... and now I feel guilty, I've never really considered it before, as in whether or not it is impolite not to respond to someone who takes the time to email you, and to be honest although very sporadic in my utilisation of the site, I am rather guilty of it... now hanging head in an embarassed state... sorry!! I will be much nicer in future, though winks are redundant! redface surprisedops:
i always try and message back its just rude not too xxx