As the newly self-appointed Head of Security (Northern Division) Thinks: Nice title but really means I stand at the barrier at the entrance of this site checking ID's and doing the occasional search of ladies hand bags, shouting "if your name's not on the list you're not coming in!!" it has come to my attention that there are too many Military References here.
So far I have discovered a Private Message, a General Chit-Chat and several Corporals.( West_mid_cpl, Northern_cpl etc.)
I am almost certain I saw a Major Bumsore but I need to confirm that one.
These infiltraters are a major threat to security ( See, there's another one- Major Threat!! ) so your help is needed to weed them out.
Any sightings, please let me know ASAP PDQ MI5 CBBC if not sooner!!! :doh:
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Security Matters!!
Sex God
It's good to see someone taking this seriously! 
Mod
there's more ex-military on this site than you can shake a stick at 
.
BLUEXXX!! Put that stick down!!!
Mal
.BLUEXXX!! Put that stick down!!!
Mal
Sex God
You should be careful with those Rabbits, Sappho. They might look quite harmless, but they can turn nasty in a flash. Touch the wrong bit in the wrong way, and they can even start vibrating in an alarming and dangerous fashion!
My advice to you is this: if you must use one, try to have a friend close by who can help if you get into trouble. It's good to have someone who can wield the Rabbit for you if you lose control.
My advice to you is this: if you must use one, try to have a friend close by who can help if you get into trouble. It's good to have someone who can wield the Rabbit for you if you lose control.
My God!! The problem's worse than I thought!!
Willxx69, FredFlintstone and Kat I need a report on this Corporal Punishment chap by 1500 hours. In fact, perhaps 1500 hours is too soon; make that 1600 hours, that gives you another hundred hours!!
Sappho, I need more intelligence on this Rabbit weapon you have in your armoury. Are you qualified to use it? I may need to observe your handling technique and put you through your Personal Weapon Test
DJohn has raised concerns about this Rabbit. In the wrong hands it can be lethal. Voluteers are needed to accompany/ protect Sappho at such times as she sees fit to release the Rabbit.
Keep your eyes peeled for Majors Disaster and Asshole and remember.................walls have ears!! :lol: :lol:
Willxx69, FredFlintstone and Kat I need a report on this Corporal Punishment chap by 1500 hours. In fact, perhaps 1500 hours is too soon; make that 1600 hours, that gives you another hundred hours!!
Sappho, I need more intelligence on this Rabbit weapon you have in your armoury. Are you qualified to use it? I may need to observe your handling technique and put you through your Personal Weapon Test
DJohn has raised concerns about this Rabbit. In the wrong hands it can be lethal. Voluteers are needed to accompany/ protect Sappho at such times as she sees fit to release the Rabbit.
Keep your eyes peeled for Majors Disaster and Asshole and remember.................walls have ears!! :lol: :lol:
Orgasminator
Hey Sarge,
I told the girls to line up for a kit inspection and they're all lined up naked from the waist up. I think they might have misheard me.
All the men are on the parade ground naked from the waist down, I don't know why, I told them it was a weapons inspection.
Harry0 (AKA Pvt Doberman)
________________________________
Loose lips might sink ships but they give a lousy blow job.
I told the girls to line up for a kit inspection and they're all lined up naked from the waist up. I think they might have misheard me.
All the men are on the parade ground naked from the waist down, I don't know why, I told them it was a weapons inspection.
Harry0 (AKA Pvt Doberman)
________________________________
Loose lips might sink ships but they give a lousy blow job.
Quote by Sappho
Ooops!
Sorry Sarge, was practicing my handling technique and he went off in my hand.
Sappho, Sappho,Sappho!!! How many times do I have to tell you to never point a weapon in jest
Your weapon handelling seems a bit rusty. Please get it out and practice your shooting at least twice a day 
Pvt Doberman, please take then men for a stiff, long yomp and send the girls to my room. I think a bit of discipline is called for :!:
:D Quote by KitKat
May I offer a tone of seriousness to all this levity
If you ever encounter the infamous Gunner Rear, stay well away!
Kit
xxx
Good work Kit. I shall put this Gunner Rear on our Most Wanted List, or should that be the Least Wanted List
: :?: 
Gentlemen. I am astounded by the lack of volunteers to assist Sappho with her Rabbit. If names are not forthcoming I shall produce a stag-list and we will have to man her bedroom 24 hours a day!!!!
Remember............. One volunteer is worth ten pressed men!!! :? :?
MILITARY INTELLIGENCE ? ..... Now that is a contradiction in terms!
SITREP : S.N.A.F.U.
Don't lose heart folks... Just gotta message:
Send reinforcements..we're going to advance. Or was it.....
Send three & fourpence we're going to a dance...
Which do ya'll prefer ?
Latest intel states that friendly fire...is not .
SITREP : S.N.A.F.U.
Don't lose heart folks... Just gotta message:
Send reinforcements..we're going to advance. Or was it.....
Send three & fourpence we're going to a dance...
Which do ya'll prefer ?
Latest intel states that friendly fire...is not .
Sex God
Helping Sappho with her Rabbit sounds like a very dangerous job. Maybe that's why you haven't got any volunteers.
We've already established that I'm as brave as I am stupid (hi Blue!). So, uh, what do I have to do?
We've already established that I'm as brave as I am stupid (hi Blue!). So, uh, what do I have to do?
Sex God
DJohn, seeing as you are now very well-versed with strap-ons, I would think the rabbit would be easy prey :twisted:
Quote by Sgt Bilko
Gentlemen. I am astounded by the lack of volunteers to assist Sappho with her Rabbit.
or...{clears throat}.....
:confused2:
Someone showed Sappho a rabbit
and all she could do was just grab it,
who can show her the way
to safe rabbit play,
and help get the best from the habit !
:giggle:
Carpathian
Well, it seems like all you military types are struggling to deal with this threat to national security known as 'The Rabbit'. Never fear, Artificer has the answer-and he lives at the bottom of my garden.
Bring on 'Fred the Ferret'.
Fred is a dapper little chap-pongs a bit but, hey, none of us are perfect. His skill in dealing with rabbits, of any size or type, is legendary throughout Shropshire. He's very cheap: a bit of mince and a bowl of bread and milk now and again are all he asks. His only aim in life is to bolt up an inviting hole at any opportunity-his one human (male) trait.
As a bonus, far from being cold, plastic and inanimate, he is warm , furry and happy to explore a new hole for several hours. (He doesn't need batteries either).
So, I am happy to offer Fred's services to Sappho. Of course, as I've trained him, I would need to be there in a purely observational capacity, otherwise the little chap might get a bit forlorn.
So, happy to work with the military types-or at least ladies in interesting uniforms- Land Rover is fuelled up and ready to go, Fred is jumping up and down in anticipation, just give the word....Artificer's Rural Servicing Enterprises (A.R.S.E.) is ready to roll.
A.
PS Plucking a speciality
Game birds -no problem.
Bring on 'Fred the Ferret'.
Fred is a dapper little chap-pongs a bit but, hey, none of us are perfect. His skill in dealing with rabbits, of any size or type, is legendary throughout Shropshire. He's very cheap: a bit of mince and a bowl of bread and milk now and again are all he asks. His only aim in life is to bolt up an inviting hole at any opportunity-his one human (male) trait.
As a bonus, far from being cold, plastic and inanimate, he is warm , furry and happy to explore a new hole for several hours. (He doesn't need batteries either).
So, I am happy to offer Fred's services to Sappho. Of course, as I've trained him, I would need to be there in a purely observational capacity, otherwise the little chap might get a bit forlorn.
So, happy to work with the military types-or at least ladies in interesting uniforms- Land Rover is fuelled up and ready to go, Fred is jumping up and down in anticipation, just give the word....Artificer's Rural Servicing Enterprises (A.R.S.E.) is ready to roll.
A.
PS Plucking a speciality
Game birds -no problem.
Mod
Umm, could be going for 'too much detail :cry:
Mal
Mal
Sex God
How on earth have I missed this thread? The title misled me. I thought it was boring stuff about computer security. You know, password protection and viruses etc.
Now then, regarding Cpl Punishment. Yes, I have fallen victim to him once or twice. Kit and Jags seem to be harbouring him and then unleash when we least expect it - and even sometimes when we don't deserve it!!
As for the Rabbit weapon. I have heard many reports but have never actually seen one. I shall be on the lookout, however.
If I hear anything else that I think you should know I will report straight back. I am preparing to go 'undercover' in the interests of intelligence gathering. At considerable personal risk, I might add.
Hope to see you all sometime.
Over and out!
Now then, regarding Cpl Punishment. Yes, I have fallen victim to him once or twice. Kit and Jags seem to be harbouring him and then unleash when we least expect it - and even sometimes when we don't deserve it!!
As for the Rabbit weapon. I have heard many reports but have never actually seen one. I shall be on the lookout, however.
If I hear anything else that I think you should know I will report straight back. I am preparing to go 'undercover' in the interests of intelligence gathering. At considerable personal risk, I might add.
Hope to see you all sometime.
Over and out!
I have a question for the sarge.
Following Americas recent rigorous immigration procedures, photographing/fingerprinting etc..... Does the Sarge intend on introducing any similar precautions onto the site ? The last thing we need during this heightened security, is someone smuggling in a concealed WMO (Weapon of Mass Orgasm) from the Pleasurist Group otherwise known as "The Rabbit" ?
Following Americas recent rigorous immigration procedures, photographing/fingerprinting etc..... Does the Sarge intend on introducing any similar precautions onto the site ? The last thing we need during this heightened security, is someone smuggling in a concealed WMO (Weapon of Mass Orgasm) from the Pleasurist Group otherwise known as "The Rabbit" ?
Survival Tips
Following the recent bulletin regarding Pleasurist threats at the NW Munch, our Tactical Information Team or TIT for short, has issued this urgent update about safe handling of the WMO Rabbit. Our TIT has urgently recommended that all members of the NW Munch should stock pile Batteries, and even look into jury rigging a mains supply to the Rabbit. TIT has discovered, that should these WMO's become deprived of power, any members placed in contact with the aforementioned device, could become easily frustrated and could take their frustration onto fellow members.
Remember, Keep Charged, Keep Safe
Following the recent bulletin regarding Pleasurist threats at the NW Munch, our Tactical Information Team or TIT for short, has issued this urgent update about safe handling of the WMO Rabbit. Our TIT has urgently recommended that all members of the NW Munch should stock pile Batteries, and even look into jury rigging a mains supply to the Rabbit. TIT has discovered, that should these WMO's become deprived of power, any members placed in contact with the aforementioned device, could become easily frustrated and could take their frustration onto fellow members.
Remember, Keep Charged, Keep Safe
Following the WMO scare I feel it is my duty to man the entrance to the Munch and give everyone a damn good frisking on the way in. Sappho, can you arrive early please so we can perfect the Frisking Routine? Try concealing that Rabbit of yours somewhere about your person and I will endevour to find it. Call it a dry run !!! 
Willxx69 how are you getting on undercover? I would be interested to see if you have gained any intelligence !!! :lol: :lol:
Good work brumlad, keep it up!! Carry on Troops.
Willxx69 how are you getting on undercover? I would be interested to see if you have gained any intelligence !!! :lol: :lol:
Good work brumlad, keep it up!! Carry on Troops.
Sappho,
TIT has come across some early warning signs that will help not only users, but also our security personnel (sarge) in locating and identifying the potential risk and damage these WMO's can inflict.
The Forensic Internal Search Team (FIST for short) has noticed that these WMO's hide themselves within a members body. Carefull listening, and with trained hands, feeling, can discover the tell tale signal ommited from these devices. Generally, they can be described as Buzzing or Humming. If the Buzzing is of a high pitch, then extreme pleasure can be recieved, however, should the user or sarge notice the buzzing is distinctly low,quiet or struggling, then the power supply is in dangerous threat of depletion, and immediate remedy is needed. See TIT post earlier.
Good luck people, it's going to be tough out there !
TIT has come across some early warning signs that will help not only users, but also our security personnel (sarge) in locating and identifying the potential risk and damage these WMO's can inflict.
The Forensic Internal Search Team (FIST for short) has noticed that these WMO's hide themselves within a members body. Carefull listening, and with trained hands, feeling, can discover the tell tale signal ommited from these devices. Generally, they can be described as Buzzing or Humming. If the Buzzing is of a high pitch, then extreme pleasure can be recieved, however, should the user or sarge notice the buzzing is distinctly low,quiet or struggling, then the power supply is in dangerous threat of depletion, and immediate remedy is needed. See TIT post earlier.
Good luck people, it's going to be tough out there !
