I was just wondering, how do you know your sexuality?? For example, i'm bi, daz knew i was but i didnt think so until my friend and i had a good night, lol! So what my point is, is how do you know if youre bi, or lesbian, or gay?? How do you know if you want to be a TV or TS?? do you think its a conscious decision? or do you think you always have it in you to be, say, gay, but you just have to realise it?
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Sexuality.....
thats a hard question to answer
personally i think i am straight. and i'm quiet addimanet that i'm not Bi. but ppl tell me "how do you know your not bi". then i think to myself i don't. how do you know you dont like somethink untill youve tryed it. but i dont think i could get myself to try it. so i'll never know.
JGL
personally i think i am straight. and i'm quiet addimanet that i'm not Bi. but ppl tell me "how do you know your not bi". then i think to myself i don't. how do you know you dont like somethink untill youve tryed it. but i dont think i could get myself to try it. so i'll never know.
JGL
I think I have always been bi but couldn't admit it to anyone. I had a huge crush on a girl at school but at that age it's pretty normal anyway so I'm told. I tried brushing it off and forgetting about it, just sticking with men but it has always lurked in my mind. I once confessed to a bi friend who just told me I was daft and it was normal to fantasise about women but I wasn't bi. I don't know what made her the expert 
It was only after my divorce and after developing an interest in swinging that I decided to admit out loud that I was bi-curious, of course you can't know for sure until you have tried I would have thought as fantasy and reality can be very different. I have since played with women at parties and I do think that I am definately bi to an extent, I doubt it is to the point where I would have a full time girlfriend but I am definately sexually attracted to women as well as men.
It was only after my divorce and after developing an interest in swinging that I decided to admit out loud that I was bi-curious, of course you can't know for sure until you have tried I would have thought as fantasy and reality can be very different. I have since played with women at parties and I do think that I am definately bi to an extent, I doubt it is to the point where I would have a full time girlfriend but I am definately sexually attracted to women as well as men.
I had a little bit of a similar thing happen to me. When I came out my best mates went "oh God - about time - we knew - why didn't you?". If I think back - I think I always was and always knew - but wasn't ready to face it when I was younger. I had the crush on the female teacher etc etc, but I only started wondering myself when I met a new girl in town in my early twenties and just wanted to kiss her!! My boyfriends were always either total idiots or married. Then channel 4 did their Night thing - and I was massively turned on watching it. Haven't looked back since 
It has however been a strange journey this year - after being a Lesbian for so many years - suddenly finding myself in bed with a guy - and having to rethink my sexuality. So now I think - I must be bi.
I've just decided to do what feels right at the time :twisted: but I think outwardly I'll always be Lesbian.
Personally I think women are a lot more inclined to being bi - or at least prepared to experience that aprt of their sexuality. Although having been on here for a while I am beginnign to think that men perhaps aren't that far behind - it just seems that there is more of a social "stigma" to men being bi than women. Silly I know! But then in my world (the Lesbian one) - it is a HUGE stigma to be bi
It has however been a strange journey this year - after being a Lesbian for so many years - suddenly finding myself in bed with a guy - and having to rethink my sexuality. So now I think - I must be bi.
I've just decided to do what feels right at the time :twisted: but I think outwardly I'll always be Lesbian.
Personally I think women are a lot more inclined to being bi - or at least prepared to experience that aprt of their sexuality. Although having been on here for a while I am beginnign to think that men perhaps aren't that far behind - it just seems that there is more of a social "stigma" to men being bi than women. Silly I know! But then in my world (the Lesbian one) - it is a HUGE stigma to be bi
Quote by Rainbows
Personally I think women are a lot more inclined to being bi - or at least prepared to experience that aprt of their sexuality. Although having been on here for a while I am beginnign to think that men perhaps aren't that far behind - it just seems that there is more of a social "stigma" to men being bi than women. Silly I know! But then in my world (the Lesbian one) - it is a HUGE stigma to be bi
I think the highlighted part is probably the most true rather than there being more bi women than men. It is strange to me that some of the gay/lesbian community would find bisexuality so hard to comprehend but I suppose some people prefer to see things more cut and dried, a friend of mine once commented 'bisexuals are just being greedy they should make their bloody minds up!' Why not keep your options open I say :twisted:
I had a discussion a short while ago with someone from this site (haven't seen him for a while ... are you there??) about labelling your sexuality.
Anyway, i'd always considered myself to be straight. I've gone through the bi-curious stage (from age 17+), satisfied my curiosity and now I can take it or leave it.
I tell people I'm a "bit" bi, or occasionally or that I'm fussy. There aren't that many fems I'd want to play with and it has to be the right time, place, atmosphere, etc.
I would never consider having an emotional-sexual relationship with another female.
The conclusion of our discussion was that I am emotionally straight but sexually bi
Anyway, i'd always considered myself to be straight. I've gone through the bi-curious stage (from age 17+), satisfied my curiosity and now I can take it or leave it.
I tell people I'm a "bit" bi, or occasionally or that I'm fussy. There aren't that many fems I'd want to play with and it has to be the right time, place, atmosphere, etc.
I would never consider having an emotional-sexual relationship with another female.
The conclusion of our discussion was that I am emotionally straight but sexually bi
This thread has brought an appropriate song to mind:
Sexuality by Billy Bragg
I've had relations with girls from many nations
I've made passes at women of all classes
And just because you're gay i won't turn you away
If you stick around i'm sure that we can find some common ground
Chorus:
Sexuality - strong and warm and wild and free
Sexuality - your laws do not apply to me
A nuclear submarine sinks off the coast of sweden
Headlines give me headaches when i read them
I had an uncle who once played for red star belgrade
He said some things are really left best unspoken
But i prefer it all to be out in the open
Sexuality - strong and warm and wild and free
Sexuality - your laws do not apply to me
Sexuality - don't threaten me with misery
Sexuality - i demand equality
I'm sure that everybody knows how much my body hates me
It lets me down most every time and makes me rash and hasty
I feel a total jerk before your naked body of work
I'm getting weighed down with all this information
Safe sex doesn't mean no sex it just means use your imagination
Stop playing with yourselves in hard currency hotels
I look like robert de niro, i drive a mitsubishi zero
Sexuality - strong and warm and wild and free
Sexuality - your laws do not apply to me
Sexuality - come eat and drink and sleep with me
Sexuality - we can be what we want to be
Sexuality by Billy Bragg
I've had relations with girls from many nations
I've made passes at women of all classes
And just because you're gay i won't turn you away
If you stick around i'm sure that we can find some common ground
Chorus:
Sexuality - strong and warm and wild and free
Sexuality - your laws do not apply to me
A nuclear submarine sinks off the coast of sweden
Headlines give me headaches when i read them
I had an uncle who once played for red star belgrade
He said some things are really left best unspoken
But i prefer it all to be out in the open
Sexuality - strong and warm and wild and free
Sexuality - your laws do not apply to me
Sexuality - don't threaten me with misery
Sexuality - i demand equality
I'm sure that everybody knows how much my body hates me
It lets me down most every time and makes me rash and hasty
I feel a total jerk before your naked body of work
I'm getting weighed down with all this information
Safe sex doesn't mean no sex it just means use your imagination
Stop playing with yourselves in hard currency hotels
I look like robert de niro, i drive a mitsubishi zero
Sexuality - strong and warm and wild and free
Sexuality - your laws do not apply to me
Sexuality - come eat and drink and sleep with me
Sexuality - we can be what we want to be
Quote by MQ
This thread has brought an appropriate song to mind:
Sexuality by Billy Bragg
I've had relations with girls from many nations
I've made passes at women of all classes
And just because you're gay i won't turn you away
If you stick around i'm sure that we can find some common ground
Chorus:
Sexuality - strong and warm and wild and free
Sexuality - your laws do not apply to me
A nuclear submarine sinks off the coast of sweden
Headlines give me headaches when i read them
I had an uncle who once played for red star belgrade
He said some things are really left best unspoken
But i prefer it all to be out in the open
Sexuality - strong and warm and wild and free
Sexuality - your laws do not apply to me
Sexuality - don't threaten me with misery
Sexuality - i demand equality
I'm sure that everybody knows how much my body hates me
It lets me down most every time and makes me rash and hasty
I feel a total jerk before your naked body of work
I'm getting weighed down with all this information
Safe sex doesn't mean no sex it just means use your imagination
Stop playing with yourselves in hard currency hotels
I look like robert de niro, i drive a mitsubishi zero
Sexuality - strong and warm and wild and free
Sexuality - your laws do not apply to me
Sexuality - come eat and drink and sleep with me
Sexuality - we can be what we want to be
Brill MQ forgot I used to really like Billy Bragg saw him a few times lol xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx so you can have a big snog for thatxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Quote by MQ
Brill MQ forgot I used to really like Billy Bragg saw him a few times lol xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx so you can have a big snog for thatxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
oooooooo I could just do with a good snog, hope you don't mind me coughing and sneezing though
now I hate mixing fluids so I am using Sudafed to dry up my juices MQ lol
Sex God
You are what you are, and coming to terms with being bi isn't nearly always easy.
I have only recently allowed myself to accept that I am bisexual. My first choice is a man but I like women a lot too. I enjoy kissing, touching, pleasing and being pleased by a woman as much as I do when I'm with a guy. This messed my head up for a while as I went through the am I gay or straight? It was about the two extremes of the sexual coin for a while. I thought I had to be either a lesbain or straight, bi sexuality never really occured in my head as a term until very recently, although I have been for a long while.
I have told only one person in my social circle outside SH about my sexuality as it is a private matter. Even though I knew at high school that I found the girls as nice as the boys, I wasn't troubled by it until I got to college and people were experimenting with all sorts including their sexuality. I stayed away from this as much as I could as I was scared to admit to myself that I might be a lesbian. I started dating guys and the thought floated until drunken conversations with an (ex) b/f surfaced. We tried something that I knew I had wanted to do for soooo long. Unfortunatly, wrong people, wrong time....... which kinda screwed my feelings up more. I hid away from my feeling s and said I'd never try it again because it wasn't for me. Deep down I knew it was for me and I really really wanted to do it again. My partner at the time wasn't keen on it and it put me off, so I kept it to myself, to my imagination and fantasies. His denial and non-acceptance of what I liked and enjoyed was never discussed again. I buried my true feelings from myself and carried on.
It is something I am becomming more comfortable with as time has gone on. Swinging has allowed me to experiment with my sexuality in more than just bi-sexual terms. I have found since being on here that I enjoy several things I would never have considered doing before the opportunity arose. for those types of things it was deffinately a case of 'how do I know I don't like it until I try it?' But then I like trying new things.
Not sure if this helps or not Lou, but it's kinda what I have been tussling with this last year.
I have only recently allowed myself to accept that I am bisexual. My first choice is a man but I like women a lot too. I enjoy kissing, touching, pleasing and being pleased by a woman as much as I do when I'm with a guy. This messed my head up for a while as I went through the am I gay or straight? It was about the two extremes of the sexual coin for a while. I thought I had to be either a lesbain or straight, bi sexuality never really occured in my head as a term until very recently, although I have been for a long while.
I have told only one person in my social circle outside SH about my sexuality as it is a private matter. Even though I knew at high school that I found the girls as nice as the boys, I wasn't troubled by it until I got to college and people were experimenting with all sorts including their sexuality. I stayed away from this as much as I could as I was scared to admit to myself that I might be a lesbian. I started dating guys and the thought floated until drunken conversations with an (ex) b/f surfaced. We tried something that I knew I had wanted to do for soooo long. Unfortunatly, wrong people, wrong time....... which kinda screwed my feelings up more. I hid away from my feeling s and said I'd never try it again because it wasn't for me. Deep down I knew it was for me and I really really wanted to do it again. My partner at the time wasn't keen on it and it put me off, so I kept it to myself, to my imagination and fantasies. His denial and non-acceptance of what I liked and enjoyed was never discussed again. I buried my true feelings from myself and carried on.
It is something I am becomming more comfortable with as time has gone on. Swinging has allowed me to experiment with my sexuality in more than just bi-sexual terms. I have found since being on here that I enjoy several things I would never have considered doing before the opportunity arose. for those types of things it was deffinately a case of 'how do I know I don't like it until I try it?' But then I like trying new things.
Not sure if this helps or not Lou, but it's kinda what I have been tussling with this last year. Quote by Rainbows
Personally I think women are a lot more inclined to being bi - or at least prepared to experience that aprt of their sexuality. Although having been on here for a while I am beginnign to think that men perhaps aren't that far behind - it just seems that there is more of a social "stigma" to men being bi than women.
It's interesting to see that this thread is almost entirely made up of posts by women. Maybe even here the social stigma is at work?
Sex God
I personally have run the whole range of feelings about my sexuality - at school/college I would have never considered myself anything but straight, at about 19/20 I had my first experience with another man, thought I was gay and went into major denial about it, then got married and again was convinced I was completely straight, and finally at the moment I am quite happy being Bi.
So I have never "known" my sexuality and in 5 or 10 years time I may have changed my mind again.
Roger the Dragon
So I have never "known" my sexuality and in 5 or 10 years time I may have changed my mind again.
Roger the Dragon
Sex God
I'm just sexual, don't need a label or tag
I just enjoy being me and if it feels right I go with it
I just enjoy being me and if it feels right I go with it
Hi, I'm Mims. I'm new to the forum but also new to exploring my sexuality if I'm gonna be totally honest with you, and I want to be, as everyone else seems to be very open and honest.
Basically for most of my life I have been brought up with strong religious views and beliefs of what is right and whats wrong. I've had it drummed into me that one man and one woman is the only right way to have sex!
I suppose i've always known that there are other options! That for me there is no right or wrong way to be. That everyone is an individual and should have the freedom to be themselves. I have always accepted this for others but never allowed myself to be me.
That is until recently
I met an amazing guy, who has opened my eyes totally to me. He has facilitated the journey I have just set out on, and what an adventure its turning out to be!
I'm discovering so much about my sexuality! I have always known I've got a fairly high drive lol and that i haven't just been turned on by thoughts of men in the past, but women also. The guy I met introduced me to this site, he has opened so many doors that i'm so glad are well and truly wide open, never to be shut again.
I guess reading everyone elses posts has made me see that i'm not the only one who feels how i do, that people can be accepting of someone whose relationships and sexual experiences don't conform to what society accepts or trys to tell you is the way to behave .
I have already had the most amazing experiences of my life so far, and done things I only ever dreamed of, and fantasised about, and ones I couldn't have imagined I would be doing.
I know this is only the start, I will always be grateful to the guy who has opened my eyes.
I loved the earlier post about being emotionally straight and sexually bi. i hate labels, but if pushed at the moment i reckon that sums me up fairly well!
Hope that all made sense and didn't waffle too much, as said am new to this so please be gentle with me.... well....maybe not that gentle
Basically for most of my life I have been brought up with strong religious views and beliefs of what is right and whats wrong. I've had it drummed into me that one man and one woman is the only right way to have sex!
I suppose i've always known that there are other options! That for me there is no right or wrong way to be. That everyone is an individual and should have the freedom to be themselves. I have always accepted this for others but never allowed myself to be me.
That is until recently
I met an amazing guy, who has opened my eyes totally to me. He has facilitated the journey I have just set out on, and what an adventure its turning out to be!
I'm discovering so much about my sexuality! I have always known I've got a fairly high drive lol and that i haven't just been turned on by thoughts of men in the past, but women also. The guy I met introduced me to this site, he has opened so many doors that i'm so glad are well and truly wide open, never to be shut again.
I guess reading everyone elses posts has made me see that i'm not the only one who feels how i do, that people can be accepting of someone whose relationships and sexual experiences don't conform to what society accepts or trys to tell you is the way to behave .
I have already had the most amazing experiences of my life so far, and done things I only ever dreamed of, and fantasised about, and ones I couldn't have imagined I would be doing.
I know this is only the start, I will always be grateful to the guy who has opened my eyes.
I loved the earlier post about being emotionally straight and sexually bi. i hate labels, but if pushed at the moment i reckon that sums me up fairly well!
Hope that all made sense and didn't waffle too much, as said am new to this so please be gentle with me.... well....maybe not that gentle
Quote by Lil_Bunny
I'm just sexual, don't need a label or tag
I just enjoy being me and if it feels right I go with it
That's just how I look at it. I tend to think if that person is givin me the horn (although admittedly it's usually men) it's irrelevent whether they are male or female.
Fun fun fun......
Cathy x
Sexlightened
Hi people,
Well I am 100% gay, and so is my partner, we have been together 14 yrs next week.
Now how do I know I'm Gay.....simple I enjoy sex with men.
I have never wanted to try or fantasised about having sex with woman, it's just not my cup of tea, I wouldnt know where to start with a woman, all the bits and bobs are in the wrong place!!!
I know that I am gay in the same way that a str8 man knows he's str8. :cheers:
Yeah ok it's common for a gay guy to say to a str8 guy, 'If you've never had sex with a man how do you know you are str8', well turning that round and if a str8 guys says to me that how do I know I'm gay if I've never had sex with a woman, well to be honest I don't know. :confused:
When did I know I was gay? Dunno, but all through my school years, :jagsatwork: infant/junior/senior, I always played with the girls, I was brilliant at skipping and hopscotch, most of my friends were girls. I didn't play football with the boys, I never did Games/PE (that was due to a disability).
I used to hang around the local toilets when I was 12/13/14 because I knew I would get to see mens willies, just knew I liked the look of them, that was when I had my first sexual experience.
:wanker: I had a 'relationship' with a guy in my class for 4 years, we had sex at his house at lunchtime, but it was never discused in school as he didn't want to be labelled a 'poof'.
I was always closer to my Mum than my Dad. Did any of this 'make' me gay? I really don't know. All I do know is that I wouldnt change anything about anything. I'm happy being the way I am. :grin:
All I know is, when I see a cute guy, nice arse, nice bulge, nice abs etc etc, then I get this funny feeling inside called attraction. Yet on the other hand I can appreciate a sexy looking woman, but that doesn't make me want to jump into bed with her.
So the simple answer to how do I know my sexuality..........I'm me and nobody knows me better than me.
(Actually.....this has been a hard question to answer I must admit.....!!)
Cheers
Mark xx
Well I am 100% gay, and so is my partner, we have been together 14 yrs next week.
Now how do I know I'm Gay.....simple I enjoy sex with men.
I have never wanted to try or fantasised about having sex with woman, it's just not my cup of tea, I wouldnt know where to start with a woman, all the bits and bobs are in the wrong place!!!
I know that I am gay in the same way that a str8 man knows he's str8. :cheers:
Yeah ok it's common for a gay guy to say to a str8 guy, 'If you've never had sex with a man how do you know you are str8', well turning that round and if a str8 guys says to me that how do I know I'm gay if I've never had sex with a woman, well to be honest I don't know. :confused:
When did I know I was gay? Dunno, but all through my school years, :jagsatwork: infant/junior/senior, I always played with the girls, I was brilliant at skipping and hopscotch, most of my friends were girls. I didn't play football with the boys, I never did Games/PE (that was due to a disability).
I used to hang around the local toilets when I was 12/13/14 because I knew I would get to see mens willies, just knew I liked the look of them, that was when I had my first sexual experience.
:wanker: I had a 'relationship' with a guy in my class for 4 years, we had sex at his house at lunchtime, but it was never discused in school as he didn't want to be labelled a 'poof'.I was always closer to my Mum than my Dad. Did any of this 'make' me gay? I really don't know. All I do know is that I wouldnt change anything about anything. I'm happy being the way I am. :grin:
All I know is, when I see a cute guy, nice arse, nice bulge, nice abs etc etc, then I get this funny feeling inside called attraction. Yet on the other hand I can appreciate a sexy looking woman, but that doesn't make me want to jump into bed with her.
So the simple answer to how do I know my sexuality..........I'm me and nobody knows me better than me.
(Actually.....this has been a hard question to answer I must admit.....!!)
Cheers
Mark xx
Quote by JudyTV
stright- bi- gay? how about just being" YOU" do what ever feels right at the time?
lables who needs them apart from jars tins etc
A good point and I would love to agree, however we pretty much have to accept our labels in this modern world, in fact many of us wear a label for five days a week. ID passes pinned to us just to get in and out of work or even from dept to dept, security passes for all sorts of places with our details on them (labels I'm afraid). John Smith. Manager.......Julie Jones, Customer Services etc. Its part and parcel of our daily lives and helps to identify who we are and what we do. Many large companies now insist every employee wears a name badge (label) so its difficult to avoid. Those of us who have had labels all our lives dont worry about it and see the need for it in certain cases. We even have them at SH Munches. We will no doubt ALL carry labels eventually in this country in the form of ID cards. Its no big deal to me.
Judy......(Bisexual Transvestite, ...... Age.. Mature, ......Gender ..questionable, ......Security rating.. Dodgy)
:D
think covered them with "etc"
its society lables we don,t need like, straight -bi-gay :wink:
I think of myself as straight, my fantasies are straight, but I went to boarding school where mutual wanking was commonplace and enjoyable. After school I forgot about that, but later when I had been married some years a hand "visited" me in a sauna and I thought, yeah this is OK, and these days I'd be a liar if I didn't admit that a hand-jobs a nice thing wherever it comes from. (All too rare actually).
However, and there is a big "however". I never have fantasies about "doing it" with a man, and if I think about it it's more towards revulsion. I could not kiss a man, or cuddle a man, I could not even be in the same bed with a man, too close, too much, too "no thanks". About 20 years ago I heard some sexually explicit noises coming from round the back of some public toilets late at night, and being a dirty little bastard of course I went to look, there were two guys having sex in the way only two guys can, and I felt the opposite of being turned on. Was that nature or nurture, I don't know.
So what am I, am I bi because I think a little man-handling is fun if it's about, or am I straight because I can't imagine ever having sex that way?
Life is a confusing conundrum, in the end I guess I'm just me, occupying my bit of the rainbow. The nice thing about being here is that I can write all that down and not care who knows.
However, and there is a big "however". I never have fantasies about "doing it" with a man, and if I think about it it's more towards revulsion. I could not kiss a man, or cuddle a man, I could not even be in the same bed with a man, too close, too much, too "no thanks". About 20 years ago I heard some sexually explicit noises coming from round the back of some public toilets late at night, and being a dirty little bastard of course I went to look, there were two guys having sex in the way only two guys can, and I felt the opposite of being turned on. Was that nature or nurture, I don't know.
So what am I, am I bi because I think a little man-handling is fun if it's about, or am I straight because I can't imagine ever having sex that way?
Life is a confusing conundrum, in the end I guess I'm just me, occupying my bit of the rainbow. The nice thing about being here is that I can write all that down and not care who knows.
Sex God
Quote by johnneuk1
its society lables we don,t need like, straight -bi-gay
Labels are not a problem - so what if someone defines themself as, e.g, "male, 28, straight, want to meet a couple for..... blah, blah, blah". Unless a label denotes prejudice and is used to discriminate against them for whatever reason, so what if some people use definitions to describe aspects of themselves. We are all sexual and we all are gendered (well, most of us
), and some of us like to be specific. Some of us however, prefer not to label our sexuality or gender at all, which itself is a label, maybe :? :? :? , and others use labels that are more "individualistic", e.g. "queer", or "hetero-transman" or "bi-T-girl" or....... etc etc.Anyways, a few thoughts on Lou's question. I am attracted to males and females, and especially those somewhere in between :twisted: , therefore I call myself bi..... I've never thought it a useful term, but I can't be bothered to think of a more useful one
. I have always been attracted to males and females as far as I can remember, so as far as I'm concerned I was "born that way". I have learned the types of sexual behaviours that turn me on the most, but as far as desire and attraction go I have never needed any "training". Gender is a more complicated issue. It is easier to define yourself as "straight", "gay" or whatever, based on who you fancy and/or the types of sexual behaviours you like or would like to engage in. However, with gender it's different. Most people never need to ask themselves whether they are male or female. They don't need to cos they just are and always have been. Most people are born either male or female - they just ARE - so the socialisation they receive as "male" or "female" is taken for granted. They may challenge aspects of that socialisation, but it does not make them challenge their own identity. However, some people DO challenge their biological sex. Some people feel like they are actually members of the opposite sex.... these people are commonly known as transsexual. Some seek sex change treatment, others find different ways to cope with the incongruence that they live with on a day to day basis. Some people are transgendered, though would not define themselves as transsexual. There are aspects of their identity or personality that are more like that which is usual for the opposite sex, but they do not wish to permanently change their sex hormonally or surgically. Some people are not really transgendered in this sense at all - they just cross dress cos they have a fetish for a certain type of clothing. E.g. some male cross-dressers define themselves very much as male but they get off on wearing female ball gowns or little bo-peep outfits :? :wink: .
I've no idea where this post is going really... just some random thoughts on an interesting topic :?
