Due to a rising number of complaints regarding misleading usernames and avatars, it has been necessary to extend the authority and scope of the governing departments within Swinging Heaven and establish a Trading Standards Agency.
The Swinging Heaven Trading Standards Agency (SHTSA) has power of prosecution under section 14 of the Fit for Purpose Regulations 2002, which was introduced to the statute to comply with EU Directive 43 and the Anti-Deception Act 2002.
The aim of the SHTSA is to monitor and control the use of misleading usernames and avatars, which may lead to extreme disappointment.
Whilst the SHTSA Officers will endeavour to check all usernames and avatars as compliant, this volume of work will mean some delay in ensuring all standards are being met across the website.
Your help in reporting non compliant usernames and avatars will be much appreciated. Any information you provide will be treated in the strictest of confidence.
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SH Trading Standards
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Quote by james02
Wear did you manage to copy and paste that **** **** from
Dear Sir/Madam
We at this time are unable to answer your query as it seems you are incapable of spelling key words contained in your question. Therefore, not wishing to make any assumptions as to what the missing words may actually be, we would ask you to clarify your original question so we may give an appropriate response.
Sex God
I would like to report that this avatar
as used by MrFC,
is wholly unrepresentative. He is niether as tall as the picture nor does he have a light sabre for a cock.
as used by MrFC,
is wholly unrepresentative. He is niether as tall as the picture nor does he have a light sabre for a cock.
Sex God
why thankyou pololady!
it's good to know someone somewhere is at last taking this issue seriously! (((
)))
clearly there can be no confusion on my username, as i am in fact called neil, and i do actually live in leeds, but following the occasional comment that i don't really have that big a nose, i felt it prudent to remove the old, possibly misleading, avatar!
the new av is in fact the result of an intense camming session, but unfortunately due to piss poor dial up speeds and ongoing quality issues, it looks a bit like a rubbish animation i kinda nicked from an email and knocked up in about 10 minutes?
nevertheless, i trust my bottom wiggling meets with your approval?
neilinleeds
it's good to know someone somewhere is at last taking this issue seriously! (((
)))clearly there can be no confusion on my username, as i am in fact called neil, and i do actually live in leeds, but following the occasional comment that i don't really have that big a nose, i felt it prudent to remove the old, possibly misleading, avatar!
the new av is in fact the result of an intense camming session, but unfortunately due to piss poor dial up speeds and ongoing quality issues, it looks a bit like a rubbish animation i kinda nicked from an email and knocked up in about 10 minutes?
nevertheless, i trust my bottom wiggling meets with your approval?
neilinleeds
Quote by davej
I would like to report that this avatar
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/images/avatars/138714080841ead47becfef.jpg
as used by MrFC,
is wholly unrepresentative. He is niether as tall as the picture nor does he have a light sabre for a cock.
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: Ya bugger
Dear Polo
Re: s.h. trading standards; wear did you manage to copy and past that **** **** from
I re-fur to you recent posting regarding the above topic.
I regret to inform you that I am unable to answer your question regarding the above, as it may seam offensive to other viewers.
I would be pleased if you could clarify the source of your original posting.
Should you require any further information please do not hesitate in contacting me
Kinds Regards
James Beevor
Re: s.h. trading standards; wear did you manage to copy and past that **** **** from
I re-fur to you recent posting regarding the above topic.
I regret to inform you that I am unable to answer your question regarding the above, as it may seam offensive to other viewers.
I would be pleased if you could clarify the source of your original posting.
Should you require any further information please do not hesitate in contacting me
Kinds Regards
James Beevor
Quote by james02
Dear Polo
Re: s.h. trading standards; wear did you manage to copy and past that **** **** from
I re-fur to you recent posting regarding the above topic.
I regret to inform you that I am unable to answer your question regarding the above, as it may seam offensive to other viewers.
I would be pleased if you could clarify the source of your original posting.
Should you require any further information please do not hesitate in contacting me
Kinds Regards
James Beevor
Glad we've cleared that one up then!!
:? :? :? Sex God
Quote by Sgt Bilko
Glad we've cleared that one up then!!
Can you tell me then Sarge cause I haven't worked it out yet
Shireen
xxx
Shireen you have a PM :shock: :? :?
uuummmm . . . would you mind forwarding me it sarge? just if you've got a handle on the whole thing though? confused enough! :?
n x x x :P
Sex God
Quote by Scandal
Dear Polo
Re: s.h. trading standards; wear did you manage to copy and past that **** **** from
I re-fur to you recent posting regarding the above topic.
I regret to inform you that I am unable to answer your question regarding the above, as it may seam offensive to other viewers.
I would be pleased if you could clarify the source of your original posting.
Should you require any further information please do not hesitate in contacting me
Kinds Regards
James Beevor
James; you are my hero
:lol:uummmm . . . call me a jaded old cynic if you like, but was the clarity, the grammar, the ((( near enough ok ))) spelling, the general coherentness ((( word?
))) rather out of character? has someone hijacked james02's account? i think we should be told?! :lol2:n x x x :P
Dear Madam Polo
I understand we are to justify our presence on this respectabilty of a site and not pretend we are not who we pretend to be lest we confuse the easily confused and bugger up any chance of being taken remotely serious in a serious way nor defer our chances of being sexually admired from a great height.
I hereby swear on my puppy's life that I am said arse and said bunny and that the sun shineth out of it willynilly so as not to provoke any hasty investigation into the whereabouts of said bottom.
Yours...
SunniestBunny (reunited)
I understand we are to justify our presence on this respectabilty of a site and not pretend we are not who we pretend to be lest we confuse the easily confused and bugger up any chance of being taken remotely serious in a serious way nor defer our chances of being sexually admired from a great height.
I hereby swear on my puppy's life that I am said arse and said bunny and that the sun shineth out of it willynilly so as not to provoke any hasty investigation into the whereabouts of said bottom.
Yours...
SunniestBunny (reunited)
Quote by james02That's PoloLady to you matey!
Dear Polo
Quote by james02Is that the same as furing? Isn't that some strange ritual involving stretching a hampster over your private parts? Oh well, each to thier own!
I re-fur
Quote by james02Not wishing to offend any person, I shall rephrase my original reply of
I would be pleased if you could clarify the source of your original posting.
"I fucking typed the fucking shit you fucking arshole crap-head!" and simply state it was an original composition.
Quote by james02To aid our officers with thier current investigation, would you please comfirm the relevance of the '02' in your username. Unless you are remarkably advanced for your years, we do not feel it is relating to your date of birth (though that may explain some of the comments you have made), so at present we are considering the alternatives:
Should you require any further information please do not hesitate in contacting me
A: It relates to the size of your manhood in metric and you have omitted the decimal point and 'cm'.
B: It is your current IQ level.
C: It represents The letter 'O' rather than a zero (ie Oxygen squared) and refers to you being full of air/wind.
No further correspondence is required regarding this matter, aside from the clarification of the '02'.
PoloLady
CEO, SHTSA
Quote by SunBunny
Dear Madam Polo
I understand we are to justify our presence on this respectabilty of a site and not pretend we are not who we pretend to be lest we confuse the easily confused and bugger up any chance of being taken remotely serious in a serious way nor defer our chances of being sexually admired from a great height.
I hereby swear on my puppy's life that I am said arse and said bunny and that the sun shineth out of it willynilly so as not to provoke any hasty investigation into the whereabouts of said bottom.
Yours...
SunniestBunny (reunited)
Dear SunBunny
Thank you for your comments. I am please to confirm one of my departments undercover officers has already carried out a thorough inspection in relation to your avatar and informs me there is no case to answer. You therefore are fully compliant with the Regulations.
Thank you for your full co-operation in this matter.
PoloLady
CEO, SHTSA
Sex God
Dear Pololady,
Mine is me.
However your fellow T/S officers in a nearby County, 2 years ago did take :shock: exception to something I was selling on a market, after an 18 month inverstigation,
I was given the choice of either signing the whole lot over to them to be destroyed or going to Court with a possible 6 month sentence. :shock:
Common sense won the day.
Mine is me.
However your fellow T/S officers in a nearby County, 2 years ago did take :shock: exception to something I was selling on a market, after an 18 month inverstigation,
I was given the choice of either signing the whole lot over to them to be destroyed or going to Court with a possible 6 month sentence. :shock:
Common sense won the day.
Quote by BaldEagle
PoloLady
CEO, SHTSA
As this authority only operates internally to SH, should it not be SH Internal Trading Standards Authority, or SHITSA for short :shock:
:doh: I was trying to think of a word for the 'I' , but it was getting late.
PS. SHTSA Officer's warrents expand thier juristiction beyond the confines of the website. This is to enable my Officers to carry out full investigations.
Quote by Sarah1448
Dear Pololady,
Mine is me.
However your fellow T/S officers in a nearby County, 2 years ago did take :shock: exception to something I was selling on a market, after an 18 month inverstigation,
I was given the choice of either signing the whole lot over to them to be destroyed or going to Court with a possible 6 month sentence. :shock:
Common sense won the day.
so did you enjoy going down
Sex God
Well I'm a bird as in colloquial term for a woman. You've seen me Pololady
And I have Freckles. Stuart has seen them.
Do I pass?
Bev
xx
And I have Freckles. Stuart has seen them.
Do I pass?
Bev
xx
Sex God
LOL Sarge it is innit. Shame it doesn't really look like me - will that disqualify me?
