Ok I've sort of been thinking how to go about starting this topic as its a bit contentious and emotive so i think i'll just be blunt.
Does the male half of a couple have any rights in the issue of abortion? I being a man think they do. I understand that it's a womans body but it has effects on the male half as well.
Personally I believe the male does have some say in the future of the unborn..
The legal stance on this:
Abortion and Men
'Fathers have no legal rights over their unborn children. The choice to continue with a pregnancy or have an abortion lies solely with the mother. While women can legally choose to abnegate their parental rights and responsibilities, men cannot.'
Morally, well thats a whole different story.
Abortion is a hugely debateable subject, one for which there isn't a right or wrong answer, imo.
Legally when a child is born "Fathers do not have an absolute obligation to provide for the welfare of their children" - so do they have the same right before the child is born?
Taken from a website against abortion....
"But for every abortion there is also a third victim that gets overlooked most of the time. That victim is the father of the aborted child. Now I know that this isn’t the politically correct approach, since modern feminists insist that abortion is all about the mother’s body, her feelings and her choices. But I think we need to acknowledge that those potential fathers-to-be may have feelings, too."
On the flip side it must be one hell of a decision on the woman's part to go for an abortion without her partner knowing, that is a very lonely experience one that probably hasn't been taken lightly.
So at the end of the day, HelnHeaven's right, it really does come down to morals.
Excellant subject to receive loads of views on Lost! :thumbup:
ok here goes,
i was 17 at the time and did some stupid things, one was have unprotected sex, the outcome was i got pregnant!!
first thoughts was OH SHIT what will my mum say. and she kind of surprised me, she was great. second thoughts were what do i do now. again mum came to the rescue and i got myself checked out. next came the decision process, do i keep it or not.
it was the hardest thing i have ever had to decided, even over 20 years later i wonder how i came to the decision. but my main reason for doing what i did was i was too young to cope and i wouldnt have had the opertunities later in life if i had been 'tied down' by a child. (wrong reasons perhaps but they were mine and i 'will' not justify them to anyone)
i have regrets still about having a termination but i also know it was the right choice for me.
the father never was in the discution as he had done a runner so i wouldnt have had even financial help from him let alone support, i dont blame him in any way we was both young and foolish at the time. but he would have been included in all discutions if he had been around. but i realy doubt that if he had wanted the child and i didnt that i would have had the child and let him bring the child up without any input from me.
people who have to make this decision no matter on the outcome have my utmost sympathy and respect. and because of my experience friends feel they can come and talk to me openly about their fears without being preached at, as they feel a family member would.
also to throw somthing into the mix do potential grandparents have a say in what happens
Sara, you shouldn't have to justify your actions to anyone - as you say, no support from the father meant that you would have been the person taking the responsibility.
I'm not sure where I sit on this matter though really. I do think that there are some arguments (very strong ones)and circumstances when termination is acceptable (such as victims - and that is only one example, not the only one). However, I also think that termination is unacceptable in some circumstances (for example, when used as a form of birth control, after the fact).
I've never been in a position where I've had to even consider termination so some might say (and rightly so) that I don't know how I'd feel. I just don't think I could go through with a termination.
However, I don't think it's up to the man to decide whether the woman does it. It's not his body. Putting aside the notion of moral/emotional/financial support, that leaves it down to whose body is going to bear the ravages of pregnancy and birth (and after?). I don't think there's any way that a man can empathise with, or understand that. Insisting on the pregnancy going to term just because he's fathered the baby isn't a strong enough reason. In my opinion.
Oh and Sara, no - it's bugger all to do with grandparents.
there are men out there who do no want children yet if a woman becomes pregnant and the man chooses not to have anything to do with the child then the man is eventually forced into having something to do with the child through maintance.
If a man chooses this path should he be made to pay for something he didnt want?
After discussion in my office.
Everyone (men and women) decided that as the law is black and white. The answer is no, the man has no right. It is the woman's body and the man could be sentencing her to ill health death etc as childbirth is a risky business.
If we took the law out of it.. then the answers were ' depends on the circumstances' 'are the couple married?' 'why is the man not using a condom' 'if he used a condom he would have control over whether he got anyone pregnant' 'did they plan 'the baby' together?' 'how far along is she?'
basically we couldn't reach a consensus... and were thankful we weren't making a new law.
splendid
p.s. I had to ask my colleagues as my brain was melting with the complexities.
what if a guy is part of a loving relationship (or at least he thinks he is) and his partner views it as an insult if he feels the need to wear a condom? what if he trusts her enough to take the pill regularly yet she sits him down one day and admits to deliberately not taking the precautions but still continuing to have sex without telling him?
It happened to me, an ex told me she was pregnant even though i used to remind her to take her pill and i used to keep an eye on how many she had in the packet. She was obviuosly just binning them on a daily basis or something.
reality is no man has any say in whether its time to be a father, because the women can always decieve to get a bigger council house etc.
Then to rub salt in the wound If the guys name isnt on the birth certificate he might as well not exist.
hmmmm im trusting type of guy and at the time didnt think i was stupid. I made it clear to her i wasnt ready for fatherhood and wanted to share the responsibility of contraception even though i wasnt the one actually taking the pill. my point is the choice is never down to the man.
Interesting topic Lost :thumbup: .
Even though legally I know that men don`t have a right as to wether a lady terminates a pregnancy or not, morally its another question entirely.
In an ideal world it would be a joint decision but unfortunatly we don`t live in an ideal world.
Its the females mind and body that has to go through pregnancy and birth and any woman will tell you it can be a rollacoaster of emotions. Its tough being pregnant and I would imagine a female being forced to go ahead with a pregnancy because of a court order (I don`t know if it would ever happen but just trying to imagine if it did) could end up mentaly scared and possibly even try to harm herself and the unborn child. Possibly trying to self abort in extream circumstances. Should that be allowed because another person has wanted the child?.
I would feel desparetly sad for any male who has really wanted the child but their wife/partner/whatever has decided terminate. But I would feel equally sad if the male didn`t want the baby and the female did.
Unfortunatly tho I think the final decision has to lie with the female although I would hope she would discuss and consider the males feelings before making any final decisions.
I guess tho its never a black and white subject and I don`t believe (most) women take the decision lightly.
Without knowing the background/history to each case, its hard to give a general opinion.
But I personally believe the decision should be with the female aided by counciling from an impartial proffesional person.
LG
Many years ago I thought I was pregnant, and was trying to say to my husband. I think I might be pregnant.
Couldn’t say it to him and he just said what’s the matter hun u preggies or what ?
When i said i might be, he said ok lets be parents, and this is a guy who didn't want kids, and was part of the agreement when we got married.. And before anyone says well its your choice. (he said lets call it a day if u want kids before we even thought of getting hitched), but he just said it's happened.
And yes he said it's your body do what u think is right, but I don't believe in abortion and will stand by u no matter what.
But the end of the day it is the woman who will end up looking after and loving the child in the good times and the bad times, so i cannot give a answer to the question as it is to hard to give an unbias answer as a woman, but would always say u should tell the other half and find a common ground on what is best for all
) 
Not very far if the women really doesnt want to have the baby.
:x >hijack over<
