As A Newbie i have obviously had a good look round the site, Is it my pessimism or are the photo ads realy as promising as they look. seen plenty of people on there advertising for this and that. i get the feeling i would be wise to ignore them.
Any thoughts ?
Tony
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The Photo Ads
I think you have to be on this site for a while, to know if you are talking to the right people.
With this kind of site; trust is very important, and trust come with time/experience of each other, i.e. you or I probably wouldn’t be invited to a party at this stage because people don’t know if you’re some kind of mugger rapper murder
I think all rules on bulletin boards are common sense, just with different levels of tolerance
But this site is the only sex (ish) site ive come across wear communication is free
With this kind of site; trust is very important, and trust come with time/experience of each other, i.e. you or I probably wouldn’t be invited to a party at this stage because people don’t know if you’re some kind of mugger rapper murder
I think all rules on bulletin boards are common sense, just with different levels of tolerance
But this site is the only sex (ish) site ive come across wear communication is free
I have found that a lot of the ads by single females result in replies which lead to a pay site. I dont know if the mods know about these. I have never had any meetings from responding to an ad. But I get a regular trickle of responses to my own ad which lead to meetings, and have also met via chatting in the forum.
It also depends what kind of "single male" you are. If you are the married kind, then it is much more difficult to meet people as a large proportion of swingers will view you as cheating and not want to join in the deception of your partner. If you are a genuinely single male, then you will probably get more opportunity to meet people.
There are no restrictions on meeting at munches, so that would seem the best place to meet and get to know people.
Most people, me included, are not looking for meet after meet, but to make friends with folk who they can have regular fun and friendship.
It also depends what kind of "single male" you are. If you are the married kind, then it is much more difficult to meet people as a large proportion of swingers will view you as cheating and not want to join in the deception of your partner. If you are a genuinely single male, then you will probably get more opportunity to meet people.
There are no restrictions on meeting at munches, so that would seem the best place to meet and get to know people.
Most people, me included, are not looking for meet after meet, but to make friends with folk who they can have regular fun and friendship.
Quote by tall_dark_n_havesome
I have found that a lot of the ads by single females result in replies which lead to a pay site. I dont know if the mods know about these. I have never had any meetings from responding to an ad.
Yes, we know about it but we regularly ask here for help to deal with them. When you respond to an ad please try to record which one (number or email address if it's visible) and when you get the pay site reply (
) TELL US and we will ban them and delete the ad. We can't do it without you - we ara continually fighting the rising tide of sewage that these pay for sites are and need your help.It's no good saying to us ' I got this response but don't know which ad it's from' cos we can't then deal with it.
Your site needs your help!
:P
Well - I had an ad and I was genuine! The couples I have met had ads and they were genuine. So yes, in my experience - most of the ads are genuine.
As sheffieldfun4two say - there will ALWAYS be some timewasters and some spammers. It comes with the territory - but the majority of ads are genuine.
Rs :color:
As sheffieldfun4two say - there will ALWAYS be some timewasters and some spammers. It comes with the territory - but the majority of ads are genuine.
Rs :color:
Orgasminator
Had a few meets from replies to people's add some nice meetings, never had a reply to my ad, but if u look at some of the male seeking ads, u wonder if anyone can be bothered to trail through all the trash, met some nice people at parties & Clubs.
I take the view that as a single male i'm in the minority I know i'm real and genuine, but with the bad rep single men have got and I've seen one's typifiy the species at clubs, I have take time and sometimes get to know people socialy etc, before I'm accepted.
I take the view that as a single male i'm in the minority I know i'm real and genuine, but with the bad rep single men have got and I've seen one's typifiy the species at clubs, I have take time and sometimes get to know people socialy etc, before I'm accepted.
As a newbie I was also a bit aprehensive at some of the ads.
I don't know but I thought I was quite liberated and would hardly think I led a sheltered life (ahem!) but some of the ads just sound so wild (too good to be true?) that.. I dunno... maybe I have a very suspicious mind I just don't really believe some of them.
Also I can understand ad posters wanting pictures of the people replying to the ads (I have no problem in seinding mine) but some of them only ask to see cock pics not face pics. Don't they want to know who they'll be talking to first? Won't they want to know what kind of person I am first? Or will they prefer to meet a man with a brown paper bag on his head with his zip undone and his cock sticking out?
Dunno... I'm just going along and will surely get to know people little by little
I don't know but I thought I was quite liberated and would hardly think I led a sheltered life (ahem!) but some of the ads just sound so wild (too good to be true?) that.. I dunno... maybe I have a very suspicious mind I just don't really believe some of them.
Also I can understand ad posters wanting pictures of the people replying to the ads (I have no problem in seinding mine) but some of them only ask to see cock pics not face pics. Don't they want to know who they'll be talking to first? Won't they want to know what kind of person I am first? Or will they prefer to meet a man with a brown paper bag on his head with his zip undone and his cock sticking out?
Dunno... I'm just going along and will surely get to know people little by little
Sex God
Quote by awol
but some of them only ask to see cock pics not face pics. Don't they want to know who they'll be talking to first? Won't they want to know what kind of person I am first? Or will they prefer to meet a man with a brown paper bag on his head with his zip undone and his cock sticking out?
If I ask for a pic, I ask for a body pic, but a cock pic will do. Satin does prefer to see the whole body, but I'm not as fussy. The face is irrelevant.
To be honest, the paper bag thing wouldn't be a bad idea. That is why I like glory holes. Cock and nothing else. Perfect.
As Jags said, if anyone belives an ad isn't genuine, please report them.
I've met lots of people through the photo ads. Some timewaste, but you get that everywhere. Some are really nice poeple. What more is there to say?
Sex God
Quote by BaldEagle
As Jags said, if anyone belives an ad isn't genuine, please report them.
Those directing you to the paysite are the pain, very difficult to trace which ad number they came from as the replies are not in the same timeframe and use hidden email function when you reply to add.
Yes, the "clever" ones are annoying. The best think to do is report any ad you think is dodgy, even if you're not 100% sure. We will make a note of it - helps build up a picture of certain people. However, we'll never get them all cos they just log on under different emails
Warming the Bed
Speaking as a new member to the site I have replied to several adverts and i have as yet not had a meet with anyone. Only 2 have replied to say no thanks and the rest haven't bothered to do that I can only assume spamers don't reply and the genuine people do.
Maybe its cos the ads aren't genuine.... or maybe its cos I have a face that would frighten a police horse..... maybe I will never know the best way to eat a Cadburys cream egg. The one thing I do know is that the people I have met in chat and on the forums are totaly genuine. So with that in mind I will continue to 'travel in hope' while sending lengthy replies to the ads and hope for the best.
Yours desperately
(with tongue in cheek cos I have nowhere else to put it)
Jack
Maybe its cos the ads aren't genuine.... or maybe its cos I have a face that would frighten a police horse..... maybe I will never know the best way to eat a Cadburys cream egg. The one thing I do know is that the people I have met in chat and on the forums are totaly genuine. So with that in mind I will continue to 'travel in hope' while sending lengthy replies to the ads and hope for the best.
Yours desperately
(with tongue in cheek cos I have nowhere else to put it)
Jack
Quote by sparky230
Had a few meets from replies to people's add some nice meetings, never had a reply to my ad, but if u look at some of the male seeking ads, u wonder if anyone can be bothered to trail through all the trash, met some nice people at parties & Clubs.
I take the view that as a single male i'm in the minority I know i'm real and genuine, but with the bad rep single men have got and I've seen one's typifiy the species at clubs, I have take time and sometimes get to know people socialy etc, before I'm accepted.
you just hit it on the head m8, its all about time, if you are looking to come here, place an add and get laid the same day/week, well forget it, single males are 10 a penny here. Ok if you are something Uber1337 then maybe it will happen.
Personaly tho, I like to get to know people 1st, and I am a single male, but if I just went along to meet somebody just for the sex, that wont work, I have to be comfortable with them 1st, able to laugh and joke, to talk with them
I would sooner find good friends where it may progress further than a person thats just after a fast shag never to be seen again.
I know that in this view I am in a minority amongst single men, mostly they like to carve up the bedpost notches, and thats why single guys have a bad rep
Sex God
Quote by Jack47
Only 2 have replied to say no thanks and the rest haven't bothered to do that I can only assume spamers don't reply and the genuine people do.
Not necessarily.
If you are replying to single women, they get sooooooo many replies with the best will in the world they can't reply to them all. Recently I posted an ad as a single fem (for something very specific) and got many more replies than I do with the couples seeking men section. I replied to most, with a very short "thanks but no thanks" or words to that effect, but those that had ignored my criteria, or were just one line crap, I didn't waste my time clicking the reply button. When I do a couples seeking men ad we get less replies, and I do reply to most, but sometimes it just isn't worth it. If you're replying to a single fem who doesn't have specific criteria, she might get over 200 replies in a day - do you fancy replying to that many messages????
Don't assume that someone isn't genuine cos they didn't reply. In fact, scammers often reply to suck you into their schemes! I admit it is annoying not to receive a reply, but at the end of the day, don't think too much of it... if you are polite, send a decent reply to ads that are asking for what you can offer, one day you will get lucky. While you're waiting, have a chat on the forum! With the ads and the forum however, never expect instant sex. If you want instant sex, no swinging site will give you that, try an escort site instead.
Warming the Bed
Quote by bluexxx
Only 2 have replied to say no thanks and the rest haven't bothered to do that I can only assume spamers don't reply and the genuine people do.
Not necessarily.
If you are replying to single women, they get sooooooo many replies with the best will in the world they can't reply to them all. Recently I posted an ad as a single fem (for something very specific) and got many more replies than I do with the couples seeking men section. I replied to most, with a very short "thanks but no thanks" or words to that effect, but those that had ignored my criteria, or were just one line crap, I didn't waste my time clicking the reply button. When I do a couples seeking men ad we get less replies, and I do reply to most, but sometimes it just isn't worth it. If you're replying to a single fem who doesn't have specific criteria, she might get over 200 replies in a day - do you fancy replying to that many messages????
Don't assume that someone isn't genuine cos they didn't reply. In fact, scammers often reply to suck you into their schemes! I admit it is annoying not to receive a reply, but at the end of the day, don't think too much of it... if you are polite, send a decent reply to ads that are asking for what you can offer, one day you will get lucky. While you're waiting, have a chat on the forum! With the ads and the forum however, never expect instant sex. If you want instant sex, no swinging site will give you that, try an escort site instead.
You are wrong to assume I am after instant sex or bombard advertisers with one liners and no where in my post does it suggest that.
Having been involved in the swinging scene for 10 years both as a couple and a single I agree that the the myth of couples and single ladies gagging for it instantly is as far from the trueth as it can possibly be.
The years of seeking genuine people has taught me that a relevant and well constructed reply does pay dividends and I endevour to do this each time. The same applies to any replies I may get to my ad they are answered as promptly and as curtiously as possible which I believe is the least that good manners demands. Again tongue in cheek...l what would happen if someone made an effort to chat in a pub and was completely ignored....
As I said the most genuine people I have met are in chat and forum and I shall continue to value and nurture the friendships I have made there. In short the point of my post tounge in cheek as it was is to point oit that ads are just that........ adverts, an indication of what someone may or may not want and not the golden fleece of swinging.
Still desperate (with tongue getting sore now)
Jack
Orgasminator
We've been on this site about 18 months and have met loads and loads of lovely people, at munch's and from replies to our advert and vica versa.
We personally prefer to chat a few times on MSN or in the chat room before we make a date to meet. We've had emails sent to us with just a cock picture and saying "I know your wife will like this" Well how do they know that, they've never met me and are not likely to either with that sort of attitude. (Dave dosent send out cock pictures - does he Horney Dawny?).
My point is that if you want to know if an ad is genuine youve got to make an effort and try to get to know the people on the other end - you will soon find out if they are genuine and you develope a knack for this sort of thing.
Just to reiterate what bluexxx and other peeps have said if you think and ad is not genuine then let the OPS know so they can deal with it.
Good luck to all newbies and we hope that you find what your looking for
:welcome:
Loads of love n stuff Jane (the better half of djcouple) xxxxxx
We personally prefer to chat a few times on MSN or in the chat room before we make a date to meet. We've had emails sent to us with just a cock picture and saying "I know your wife will like this" Well how do they know that, they've never met me and are not likely to either with that sort of attitude. (Dave dosent send out cock pictures - does he Horney Dawny?).
My point is that if you want to know if an ad is genuine youve got to make an effort and try to get to know the people on the other end - you will soon find out if they are genuine and you develope a knack for this sort of thing.
Just to reiterate what bluexxx and other peeps have said if you think and ad is not genuine then let the OPS know so they can deal with it.
Good luck to all newbies and we hope that you find what your looking for
:welcome: Loads of love n stuff Jane (the better half of djcouple) xxxxxx
Well in my experience half the ads I reply to/or that reply to me are pic collectors or paysites or just single males hoping they will slip throught the net. It has put us off a little but we will continue to answer new ads . . . in hope.
I have also reported quite a few ads that are obviously fake and see that they are still on the system. My advice would be to be cautious and dont send too many pics until you know the people are genuine. Also, check the email address. Often an ad will be 'Hi I'm Cindy....' or whatever, and then when she replies to you its from an email like iluvithard@....or joeblogs@.....these are the dodgy ones.
I look forward to meeting people at munches ... it has to be better than what is essentially a blind date.
Hope I dont sound to cynical it's just what I have personally experienced.
I have also reported quite a few ads that are obviously fake and see that they are still on the system. My advice would be to be cautious and dont send too many pics until you know the people are genuine. Also, check the email address. Often an ad will be 'Hi I'm Cindy....' or whatever, and then when she replies to you its from an email like iluvithard@....or joeblogs@.....these are the dodgy ones.
I look forward to meeting people at munches ... it has to be better than what is essentially a blind date.
Hope I dont sound to cynical it's just what I have personally experienced.
Sex God
Quote by Jack47
You are wrong to assume I am after instant sex or bombard advertisers with one liners and no where in my post does it suggest that.
I did not assume you were after instant sex, I said "IF" you are, this site is not for you. Not the same thing. I also did not say that YOU personally bombarded people with one liners. I was talking generally about the types of messages least likely to get replies. I was actually on YOUR side. Don't assume that I ASSUME anything about you.... OK mate
Warming the Bed
Quote by bluexxx
You are wrong to assume I am after instant sex or bombard advertisers with one liners and no where in my post does it suggest that.
I did not assume you were after instant sex, I said "IF" you are, this site is not for you. Not the same thing. I also did not say that YOU personally bombarded people with one liners. I was talking generally about the types of messages least likely to get replies. I was actually on YOUR side. Don't assume that I ASSUME anything about you.... OK mate
No problem... just a friend pointed out in a PM that the word 'You; had been used 7 times in one paragraph and specifically directed at the author ie me.....( errrr I think thats what she meant)....... Personaly I think she was just showing off her BA (Hon) in English instead of enjoying a good atguement
Quote by Jack47
No problem... just a friend pointed out in a PM that the word 'You; had been used 7 times in one paragraph and specifically directed at the author ie me.....( errrr I think thats what she meant)....... Personaly I think she was just showing off her BA (Hon) in English instead of enjoying a good atguement
Well, if your friend has an ad, maybe you should ask her how many she replies to or would reply to
Sex God
Quote by Jack47
You are wrong to assume I am after instant sex or bombard advertisers with one liners and no where in my post does it suggest that.
I did not assume you were after instant sex, I said "IF" you are, this site is not for you. Not the same thing. I also did not say that YOU personally bombarded people with one liners. I was talking generally about the types of messages least likely to get replies. I was actually on YOUR side. Don't assume that I ASSUME anything about you.... OK mate
No problem... just a friend pointed out in a PM that the word 'You; had been used 7 times in one paragraph and specifically directed at the author ie me.....( errrr I think thats what she meant)....... Personaly I think she was just showing off her BA (Hon) in English instead of enjoying a good atguement
I said "you" cos I was talking to YOU about replies in general, and my interpretation of the situation. I started by pointing out that YOUR ASSUMPTION about people who don't reply isn't necessarily correct, then went on to mention other relevant points about the situation. Very sorry if you took my reply as a persona insult - well, actually I'm not sorry I think you - yes YOU - need to read things properly in future and not rely on people with English degrees to count the number of "yous" in a post :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:
Some great replies and info, well done guys,
As for instant sex, thats not why i am here, yes i am curious and if i do hook up with someone well thats a bonus.
Im not married but do have a partner and i wont lie i have a high sex drive and she doesn't so sooner or later i will wander. does that make me any different to anyone else who wants more out of life. Well ive laid myself bare , better than pretending to you all that i am unattached.
Tony
As for instant sex, thats not why i am here, yes i am curious and if i do hook up with someone well thats a bonus.
It also depends what kind of "single male" you are. If you are the married kind, then it is much more difficult to meet people as a large proportion of swingers will view you as cheating and not want to join in the deception of your partner.
Im not married but do have a partner and i wont lie i have a high sex drive and she doesn't so sooner or later i will wander. does that make me any different to anyone else who wants more out of life. Well ive laid myself bare , better than pretending to you all that i am unattached.
Tony
