The sanctity of marriage

27 Oct 2004

Well said Rainbows !!!! i think that sums it all up. If one of us decided we did,nt want to do this anymore we would stop , with our marriage in tact and very happy, especially in the knowledge that we share something special either in our marriage and our fantasies with others , and most importantly we were HONEST with each other !!!!! lol

27 Oct 2004

Quote by leprechaun
would u forever go and have ur shite u whores melt
we know what we are here and all are happy with our lot
feck of back to ukip head quater u backward thinking prat
ps tv judy were and when the party love
promise will shave next time (face that is hun)

Didn't understand a word, but I'm sure it was a very meaningful post!

27 Oct 2004

...
(MAN), will you have this woman as your lawful wedded wife, to live together in matrimony? Will you love her, honor her, comfort her, and keep her in sickness and in health; forsaking all others, be true to her as long as you both shall live? (I will).
(WOMAN), will you have this man as your lawful wedded husband, to live together in the matrimony? Will you love him, honor him, comfort him, and keep him in sickness and in health; forsaking all others, be true to him as long as you both shall live? (I will).

It's certainly arguable that taking another couple or person into your marriage bed can still be forsaking all others.
As someone currently going through the pain of separation I have come to the conclusion that in these circumstances (separation) the sex bit is the least important, it's the loss of the heart and the removal of trust that are far and away the most painful part. Sex is just sex. In any couple swinging environment these simply don't apply.

27 Oct 2004

I do not wish to cause offence with my questions, I am just trying to understand the moral implications of why it's done and how individual swingers justify it considering many are married and many did undertake these vow:

According to who's morals?
Those of married swingers, or of your own; which may or may not be shared considering the diversity of the SH members.
Oh and, now days you get to write your own marriage vows, so the old can be included or discarded as appropriate.

27 Oct 2004

Trip-trap! Trip-trap!
If this is too obscure and you really want to know what I'm saying PM me. I'll contribute no more to this little debate.

27 Oct 2004

Quote by westerross
Trip-trap! Trip-trap!
If this is too obscure and you really want to know what I'm saying PM me. I'll contribute no more to this little debate.

....went the Billy Goat Gruff. wink

27 Oct 2004

...over the rickety-rackety bridge. smile

Mike.

27 Oct 2004

Quote by westerross
Trip-trap! Trip-trap!

:laughabove:
Hopefully he landed in the river with a loud splash and was never heard of again...

27 Oct 2004

Quote by tigris
As I stated in the chatroom I joined because I found the threads I read to be full of warm friendly individuals, I am finding it difficult to reconcile how such warm friendly individuals would be at ease sleeping with others outside of the sanctity of marriage.

Well i dont count in the whole sanctity of marriage thing cos daz and i arent married yet! However, warm friendly individuals do enjoy sexual activities and this is most probably why we are at ease sleeping with other people. Daz and i "make love" together and are very much in love, whereas swinging is purely sex and the only emotion involved is pure unadulterated lust and a genuine like for the people we are swinging with.

Quote by tigris
I also have a million dollar question regarding my first post, if the other partner suddenly decided they were not happy with you taking part in this activity would you stop? or would this be the end of the marriage?

um, let me think, love or sex?? well lets put it this way.... i can have great orgasms with my toys, but they wont love me all the time or be there for me when i'm down, or cuddle me just cos i ask... so i can safely say if it became a problem swinging would be the thing to go without a doubt.

27 Oct 2004

we wrote our own vows and it said nothing about not having relationships with others.
to me foresaking all others is to do with affairs, not a bit of fun between consenting adults with your partners full approval.
one of my favourate songs has the line 'trust is more important than monogamy' and that sums it up for me.
Incidentenly as some one posted on here earlier there does seem a bit of 'researching' going on. is this a reporter??

27 Oct 2004

Quote by kazswallows
Incidentenly as some one posted on here earlier there does seem a bit of 'researching' going on. is this a reporter??

Well - if it is a reporter - I think he/she got a postive story. So it won't be printed will it!

27 Oct 2004

Quote by Rainbows

Incidentenly as some one posted on here earlier there does seem a bit of 'researching' going on. is this a reporter??

Well - if it is a reporter - I think he/she got a postive story. So it won't be printed will it!
Gimme a page 3 shot with the title "Big is Better" and i'll tell you all you want to know!! lol

27 Oct 2004

Sniff................
Sniff....................
Sniff.........................
Sniff......................
Yep I can definately smell bullshit.........
Shireen
xxx

27 Oct 2004

Well from an old married couple (positively stoneage), I have thought long and hard about this. When I maried Fred I said my vows and signed the tablet of stone. Back in them days I never thought of anyone else in my bed but him.
As time has gone on I've discovered that the only way to keep my marriage alive and to stop us from breaking up is to swing with others. My god we would be long divorced if Fred had not forced me to have sex with others. I only do it cos I know it makes him happy. I've even done the bi-fem thing to fulfill the old buggers fantasy. I think we suppressed women have a duty to honour and obey and if swinging is what keeps em happy then I'll just have to lay back and think of England.
Love
Wilma
x x x x
lol

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Seriously .......... I thought it was a reasonable question, but it could have been put a little differently.
Reporter??? Nah none of them about. Jags eats them for brekkie.
x x x x
p.s. Clare - this is a joke!

27 Oct 2004

Noone owns my body. Noone has the right to tell me what i want to do with it, don't want to do with it. No one person is ever going to be able to fully give me all sexual experiences which i desire.
This in no way undermines a marriage. Marriage is not about the physical act of sex. To have a good marriage, there are many other needs and wants which partners have to fulfill for the other. The ability to know what these are, is, in my opinion, what constitutes a good marriage. Not wanting these needs and desires fulfilled by any other THAN your partner, holds for a strong marriage.
I see therefor, the relationship between physical and needs/wants, as being quite seperate. Physically, we are not able to be all things to one person. Collectively, that is possible. Emotionally within a marriage, it is quite possible, and indeed obviously occurs regularly, that one individual can be the total fullfulment of that need.
This is how i see things.
Lots of love, hugs and kisses
Little
XXX

27 Oct 2004

Quote by WilmaFlintstone
p.s. Clare - this is a joke!

:laughabove:
Poor girl ... we all love you really Clare :inlove:

27 Oct 2004

Quote by WilmaFlintstone
p.s. Clare - this is a joke!

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

27 Oct 2004

Quote by WilmaFlintstone
p.s. Clare - this is a joke!

:laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove:
I think were even now darling,just Calista to go now :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

27 Oct 2004

Quote by Steve_Lincs

p.s. Clare - this is a joke!

:laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove:
I think were even now darling,just Calista to go now :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
You think you're any match for me? ...shaking in my boots I am ...............NOT!
:twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

27 Oct 2004

Quote by Rainbows

Incidentenly as some one posted on here earlier there does seem a bit of 'researching' going on. is this a reporter??

Well - if it is a reporter - I think he/she got a postive story. So it won't be printed will it!
You hit the nail on the head!!

27 Oct 2004

I have been debating whether to add my thoughts on the subject or not as I am a little suspicious of the poster but hey here goes.... My views on "marriage or the sanctity of it"....
Marriage is a piece of paper...... It means nothing without the commitment from the 2 people within the relationship....
You dont have to have the piece of paper to be totally commited to each other and to be honest sometimes I think that the pressures on people to get married are for the wrong reasons.... You can be love someone but you have to have much more than that for a relationship to work....
So..... If you have a relationship that is at best a little turbulent, does the piece of paper make it rock solid??..... Nope....
Will that piece of paper ensure that your partner doesn't stray from your side or prevent them from abusing you???..... Nope....
Now this is the opinion of someone who has been married more than several times (Dont ask because I wont tell) and all but one for the wrong reasons.... Did the piece of paper make those marriages work????..... Nope..... Why???.... Because the other person didn't have the commitment to work at it every day......
It took Steve 4 1/2 years to talk me into marriage and then most of the reasons were to protect him and the kids (trust me you dont want to know... ) but I have never regreted a day because we BOTH have the commitment to make it work.... We have our ups and downs but we never walk away or call it a day because we have enourmous respect and love for each other.....
Ours is a very close and stable relationship and always has been and because of this we are therefore able to enjoy the delights of swinging...
The purpose of marriage??...... Thats personal to every individual, be it for love, companionship or security.....
Marriage does not however stop you having sexual feelings or the wish to explore your sexuality....
Apologies for the rambling and please remember that this is just my opinion on marriage...
Shireen

27 Oct 2004

Speaking as a forcibly-divorced person, I can categorically say that if my ex and I had been swingers, we would still be together today.
Although we loved each other, she decided that sexually the grass was greener elsewhere and went off down that path. It hurt me greatly at the time and no the loss of sex didn't matter but the loss of emotional closeness that followed did.
It gives me no pleasure to say she regretted it after a year and suggested getting back together (she hadn't moved in with anyone - just had a succession of sexual partners). The timing was totally wrong though as I had just started to see someone and realise I could still have a life. I doubt I could fully trust her again anyway.
The end result is two people less happy apart than they were together and all because of us not being open enough about sexual desires.
Ant.
(I really must learn the art of concise posting).

28 Oct 2004

WTF is going on in the forum this week? :shock: :shock: :shock:
If you're a meat eater, would you join a vegetarian discussion group and question their motivations...?? It's a good job that swingers are some of the most tolerant people in society!
My answer is 'What Shireen said...'
Plus...
WTF is marriage about anyway? It ain't about sex, that's for sure!
I have the freedom of choice to see who I please, screw who I please, but every time... EVERY TIME... the icing on the cake for me is going back to Terry. And as a previous poster said, this forum is sometimes sickly with the declarations of love you see from time to time (and I'm one of the worst offenders!)
So tell me, Tigress... why ARE you here, then...? confused

You had better not try to tell us we've all got it wrong! mad

28 Oct 2004

Quote by Calista

p.s. Clare - this is a joke!

:laughabove:
Poor girl... we all love you really Clare :inlove:
Gee thanks you lot,you really know how to make me feel better,thanks :cry: lol

28 Oct 2004

Having been tempted by the luscious Jags to mount my soapbox one more time (makes a change from tempting me to mount her. )

Quote by tigris
I would like a swinger's honest opinion as to why they would get married if they still want to put it about?
It seems to defeat the whole purpose of marriage
Having your cake and eating it

Well, I have to say, that the answer to this question is so simple that it is incomprehensible that anyone could be so compleatly devoid of the power of free thought that they would need to ask it. banghead

Why do swingers get married? Because they love each other. :inlove: :inlove: :inlove: :inlove:
Why do swinging couples use the "forsake all others" bit when clearly that vow does not fit the swinging culture. Like we had a choice? :jagsatwork: rolleyes

lhk
x

28 Oct 2004

naggedbyjags indeed! the lhk x is a dead giveaway! ello and goodbye again!
n x x x x ;)

28 Oct 2004

Quote by neilinleeds
naggedbyjags indeed! the lhk x is a dead giveaway! ello and goodbye again!
n x x x x ;)

Neil I have no idea what you mean confused

:shock: Should I know this person :? lol

naggedbyjags kiss

:therethere: passionkiss

:gagged: Take care of yourselves.
Dawn xxxxxx

28 Oct 2004

tigris my dear
you just dont get it do you?reading your post very carefully i suggest you have stumbled on to the wrong site,this is not the christian fundamentalists whingers forum my son
try typing whingeing heaven ,and converse with other likeminded lovely folk
we all make mistakes,and judging by the replys from all these lovely openminded,non judgemental people,you made a big one today redface

bless you my son,we all forgive :inlove:

28 Oct 2004

:laughabove:

29 Oct 2004

Quote by Heather
So tell me, Tigress... why ARE you here, then...?
You had better not try to tell us we've all got it wrong!

As I stated in the chatroom and in my earlier post, I am simply trying trying to understand the swinging morality when it comes to marriage "forsaking all others" seems to be treated as just some words.

Quote by skegnessswingers
OK, this may well start even more rows, but here goes.....
Tigris.... Do you believe that sex should only take place within a marriage then??

I don't see how turning the question to me helps in anyway?
If I was to say sex should only take place within a marriage you will then turn on me claiming I am discriminating single people from having sex and everybody else who has sex outside of marriage, which is not my question at all, if anything I would understand why single people would swing, no ties, no allegiances, no vows...
I am not here as a christian, I am simply trying to understand how swingers justify swinging with the morality of the age, they might claim that swingers are much more enlightened than the majority, it still leaves the purpose that swinging is all about me me me, I am afraid to say from the look of it it seems like a totally selfish hedonistic lifestyle, "what satisfes me what gives me pleasure I don't care what anybody else thinks I am going to enjoy myself and so what if I sleep around I sleep around with like minded people as far as we are all consenting so what" I am afriad I do not see what is so enlightening about this.

If not, then you are discriminating against swingers, because if you do believe in sex outside of wedlock, why not for us? ( And where do you stand on unmarried couples who swing? )

Let me see where you are coming from:
You see someone doing something that the rest of the world regard as immoral
You then claim "look since they are doing it why don't I do it, you are discriminating me from me doing it..." In that case in theory any act or behaviour can be justified since someone is doing it why don't I do it.
As I stated my views on singles have no baring on my question, the here and now are married swingers and the question was posted to them.

If you do believe sex should only take place within mariage, what then are your views on homosexual marriages? Is that not discrimination against people who find love in same sex relationships?

Claiming dicrimination these days is a cheap way to silence your critics, I am simply looking at the moral aspects and how swingers (married swingers) justify the lifestyle giving the vows they have said, and the morality of the age, there is no religious implication intended.

Or.... do you have to think about the possibility that "My way or its wrong" is maybe a narrow minded outlook on life?

So the crux of your argument is I have a narrow minded outlook on life for not falling in love with the swinging lifestyle? According to what you have posted so far life is about selfish pleasure? ( I hope you or anybody else are not insulted by my comments, I am just trying to give an objective opinion to your arguments based on the consensus devoid of religion, btw I think you people are lovely)