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Things not to put on your profile.

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Unknown User
1. "Don’t worry ladies I'm so small you won't even notice I'm there."
2. "I couldn’t think of a username so I’ve called myself after my mum."
3. "I believe in health and safety, which I why I only use Bovril flavored condoms."
(This list was going to be "101 things not to put on your profile" but after I took out the ones which could offend this is what I was left with. LOL*)
Anyone got any more? 29
(* That's "leg over later" - "not laugh out loud")
hisandhers
Sex God
you may need to bring your magnifying glass with you :shock:
anais
Sex God
Ya name, address and tel. number confused :? :? lol
Hiya wave and :welcome: to the forum 29 :smile:
Unknown User
Quote by flower411
It might look a bit raw but the Doctor said it would be fine once the itching stops.

pmsl at that one flower. lol :lol:
Unknown User
Quote by bbw_lover
Is it wrong to use a chain-saw during foreplay?
whip
what on earth is wrong with that?
lp
Unknown User
cock shots :scared:
Peanut
Sex God
"Although I do suffer from chronic flatulence it won't be a problem as they are always silent"
NLondonJohn
Master of Sex
"I've gone back to calling myself Paul Gadd."
Tan____Kinky
Sex God
Quote by Peanut
"Although I do suffer from chronic flatulence it won't be a problem as they are Nearly always silent"

:giggle:
Lost
Sex God
Hmmmm things not to put on your profile eh?
:idea: A hot bowl of soup!
Unknown User
"my claim to fame is that you know the saying....like throwing a sausage up an entry....well they wrote that about me LOL"
i am totally organic and environmentally friendly, i make my own underwear from moulted body hair I collect when I swing, and wash and reuse my home made condoms several times lol
i would like to take photos when we play , but dont let the user ID of 'biGuyfromthenewsoftheworld' they are completely for my own personal and private collection!
NLondonJohn
Master of Sex
"It's just Rosemary nowadays, since Fred left."
Wildfire_London
Sexlightened
He gets out of prison in two weeks, (was doing time for attempted murder)so I want a final fling in freedom.
Misskitty_2008
Sex God
Huh? Thank god you're not coming round for lunch tomorrow....
Quote by bbw_lover
Is it wrong to use a chain-saw during foreplay?
whip

:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
Unknown User
The Doctor says I can have a STD free certificate if I can just get rid of this rash and itch redface
Pete_sw
Sex God
Hiya, welcome to the nuthouse wave
What not to put on your profile? hmmmmm
pete unscrews drinkies head and replaces it with :small-print: head
never ever put ....http://photos.swingingheaven.co.uk/photo-adverts/swingers-3509791.html
OMG :shock: that was soooo blatant rotflmao
redface ok sorry, rolleyes normal services now resumed dunno
cant think what came over me surprisedops: oh yeah, i remember, optimism :rotflmao:
:cheers:
Unknown User
The itching is from my new washing powder... honest :shock:
scotsbiker69
Warming the Bed
Crap shag..and keen to prove it !!
Sugar__n__pom
Master of Sex
"Genital warts can provide interesting and unusual stimulation - and they aren't NEARLY as contagious as others will have you believe"
Dawnie
Sex God
Quote by Sugar-n-pom
"Genital warts can provide interesting and unusual stimulation - and they aren't NEARLY as contagious as others will have you believe"

Thats horrible :eeek:
:lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:
Unknown User
my room mates say they promise not to watch.
Sarah
Sex God
Mum and Dad are out this weekend............... biggrin
Unknown User
keen to act out the man with mother and daughter scenario
Im 55 busty and up for it and my mom is........
Woohoo
Mod
My name is flower411 rolleyes :roll: lol