go for it. i had one done a few years back and it is such a different feeling from the non pierced, the best of both worlds :P
This was our very first posting on the site.
Just would like to know how people joined in the banter?
xx
Del
Quote by Reese
Hi, all~
First off, my apologies, as I know this is going to be a long post. I'm a newbie here and don't have an ad or anything, but just wanted to log in and ask some questions in the hopes of being enlightened a bit. Please don't take offense on anything I say - it's not meant that way - it's just a matter of not really understanding the lifestyle(s) represented here. I don't even consider myself or my partner to be "swingers", really, but that's probably because I don't know the true definition of the term. Who knows? Maybe I'm just being too pedantic.
In any case, perhaps I should start with a little bit about myself. I'm a (recently) 40 year old male and tend to think of myself as "semi-bi" (I say "semi" because I've never engaged in anal with either sex, nor am I interested in the least). My partner, a 34 year old female, is bi-curious and finds attraction to both sexes, but has never had an experience with a woman. We've been together a little over 3 years, and are planning to marry sometime in the not-too-distant future. It's an incredible relationship unlike anything I'd experienced in my life - true soul mates - and I'm thankful each and every day that we found each other. :~)
Although we're both fairly demonstrative and open in our sexuality, we've only taken one other person to bed since we've been together. This was my partner's first threesome experience, too (although I'd had a handful of others in my past). We were visiting a friend in another country, and he'd taken us out on the town one night to see all the sights. Afterwards, we'd invited him back to our hotel room to visit for a while longer (honestly, sex wasn't on the agenda at all). We were all just chatting when he suddenly asked my partner if he could "have a go" at her ample breasts. She agreed and peeled off her top. One thing led to another and they fell into bed together. I peeled off both of their trousers before stripping myself and joining them. It was an incredible night and all came together quite naturally. He surprised me, too, as I'd always considered our friend to be a "rampant heterosexual"! ;~) My only regret of the evening is that we were all a little bit drunk...and we could've had so much more fun if we hadn't been.
A couple weeks later, when my partner and I were talking about the experience - and she was still grinning from ear to ear over it :~) - we decided that it would be nice if we had a friend like that who was a bit "more local". A neighbour recommended we try out an on-line "adult friend finder" site, so we registered on one of them and posted a profile. We began browsing the ads and, within a few hours, the e-mails began to arrive, too. We found both to be a little disturbing and decided, there and then, that we didn't fit in with the "swinging culture" at all. :~( We cancelled our membership the next day.
Here are some of the problems we had with it, as well as the questions that arose from them:
- While the female ads had full-body photos (typically with the face blurred), the male photos were mainly just cock shots. Thus, it was an uncomfortable feeling that we were just "shopping for cock"!
- In most of the ads for couples seeking couples, only the female half of the couple was pictured! What's up with this?! Even if we /were/ just "shopping for sex", we'd certainly want to see "the whole package". To me, "couple" means two partners - why is only one shown?
- Again, in the couples ads, a vast majority touted a "bi-fem" while the male was "str8". Am I such a rarity?! This made me feel a bit out of place and wasn't of interest to either of us. If we're going to be intimate with a couple, we both want to participate fully with both members. (Also, I had a bad experience with an MMF threesome in my youth: The three of us were "engaged" on a bed, but I was not permitted to get within two feet of the other M, who turned out to be seriously homophobic. This made things difficult, to say the least, and robbed the F in our little menage et trois of the DP experience she'd been so keen on.) :~(
- Lastly, in the e-mails and private messages we'd received, it became clear that most of our correspondents were looking only for a quick shag and nothing more. We had two problems with this: First, we'd want to get to know the individual or couple and develop a bit of a relationship - at least starting with intellectual intimacy - before deciding we were comfortable enough to move on to the physical. Second, and above anything else, we're looking for friendship...albeit friends with whom we could share our bodies as well. It just seemed like a "meat market" to us!
I don't know - perhaps we're just looking in the wrong place. Is the "swingers' scene" truly just about sex? If so, then my partner and I are right in figuring that we're not swingers. Is it just people pursuing a string of "one-night stands" with a lot of different partners? We'd much rather share long-term friendships "with benefits" with maybe one or two individuals or couples. Are we being totally unrealistic in our expectations?
And the final problem we seem to centre around my own "semi-" bisexuality: My partner and I are not interested in having sex individually with other people. Any "adult friendship" that gets to that stage we would want to share completely as a couple. We may have two separate bodies, but we share the same spirit...thus, anyone joining us in our bed would need to accept that they can't have one without the other: we're a "package deal". ;~) Funny thing is, we'd posted this in our on-line profile - but the responses we received seemed to ignore this little detail.
Again, apologies for the length of this post and, if you've read this far, thanks for listening to me rant. I just thought this looked like the sort of forum where I might get some answers to a few of our questions and concerns. And big thanks to anyone who might be able to shed a little light on any of this for us! :~)
Cheers,
~Reese
Quote by neilinleeds
well . . . i'm almost ashamed to admit . . . mine was a . . . . how do you get into the chatroom post!
Quote by MISSCHIEF
Oh my god! just come out of the chat room after being in there all of 5 minutes and feel like ive just run a marathon! Its an absolute madhouse in there. Couldnt keep up for love nor money, how do people do it? My poor eyes are still scrolling now!
So anyway, thought I would come into the cafe to calm down a bit, and also to apologise for anyone I ignored in the chat room, it wasnt intentional, just didnt have time to read what anyone else was saying lol
Oops sorry again, waffling on and I havent introduced myself - I'm Misschief and been a bit of a wallflower this past few weeks since finding this site ..... so errr .... Hi
Quote by hornystockportgirl
I'd love to go down on my BF while driving, but as i'm the driver would be abit hard !!
I love flashing while i'm driving, but not sure how much people can see ?? any tips
Up to now i've pulled my skirt up, i think i might just take it off next !!
Quote by xxdevil69
You answered "yes" to 83 of 100 questions, making you 17.0% bisexual greediness pure (83.0% bisexual greediness corrupt); that is, you are 17.0% pure in the greedy bisexual domain.
I just class myself as having a healthy sexual appetite hehe
Quote by Calista
Yay my first post ... does this mean I'm no longer a board virgin? before anyone asks I can't remember being a bored virgin ... it was far too long ago to discuss
Calista :evil2:
Quote by celticq
Is this really Heaven. I think it might be - I have just stumbled in here and discovered this site where I cannot not only meet some fun people - but at the same time share my enthusiasm for chickpea based food stuffs.
Would have posted sooner but the Houmous (and roasted red peppers!!!) got right into the keyboard when I dropped my pitta.