I don't see how any verification system will improve things to be honest. They "prove" nothing whatsoever.
I've heard that word used a lot on this thread. It worries me to think that people assume that because Mr X of Derby says you are a "tonking shag" that you are suddenly compatible with everybody else seeking a quick fuck. Is this how Swinging is to carry on? "Shag them because they said they are good?" It frightens the living wonkers off me. Why entrust your spouse, or yourself, to the subjective opinions of others?
I've also heard it said that established members have loads of contacts and seem to be the most opposed because of that. I'm not sure that is the case to be honest. It seems all too easy to suggest that those with post counts of 5000 or more can barely drag themselves away from the bedroom long enough for a post-coital rant about verification, before being dragged back by fuck buddy number 38 for the afternoon.
I think the long standing members are against verification because when they joined, they were promised it wasn't part of the site's central tenet about swinging. That's all. I think they feel slightly betrayed of the direction the site has taken compared to the original intentions it was set up under. Yep, things have changed for the site but perhaps this is an issue that is as important for those who don't want it, as it is for those that do? I don't think it is just a case of Luddite philosophy opposing progress, just that it is not what they want for whatever reasons they have.
I also don't believe that the adverts, profiles or even verification are 1/100th as useful as a form of verification as getting your backside to a meet somewhere, to meet likeminded people. My concern is the verification system will sate a market for "fuck me now! Immediately!" I am not sure how many people think that's a good thing. I personally don't. But then again I'm not desperate to shag anybody to feel it justifies my subscription. This for me is fun and enjoyment foremost and from that comes the rest of it, including the sexual aspects. I think a lot of people can't be arsed making the effort to properly get to know folk. They see sex as their right given they are on here and want to fuck and they see verification as an ideal way of weeding out those "timewasters" (probably like me and Mrs R) who won't fuck them within a certain time limit and at the least expense and inconvenience to them.
That's not saying everyone for verification thinks that way, of course not. However that is sometimes how it appears to me. It all seems geared towards sex on tap. That's never what it has been about for me. I have that at home anyway.
I'm not that needy for sex to require verification. I'm happy to wait until the time and person is right for us. Not everybody is I know, but then again when the sites direction in recent times has been geared towards the need to sate an immediate desire, then it is easy to see why weeding out the timewasters has become a priority.
If safety is the priority as I have seen mentioned then it's simple really. Stop fucking each other. That's much, much safer than anything else. I think a lot of people are doing this anyway as they've become disillusioned with things.
Verification isn't the death knell of swinging or this site by any means, but it isn't the saviour of it either and it will bring with it its own baggage and problems. Other than couples/singles providing lengthy intimate details of every meet they have, complete with supplied photographs, video and signed copies of the order of fornication as evidence, I fail to see how any verification system cannot be open to some degree of misuse. Though I have no doubt that admin & co have worked hard to make Shrep as resilient against this as possible and this is not a sleight on their efforts in any shape or form.
There is also the very good point that someone coming across as being desperate to meet up and wanting sex right here, right now, can be equally as off putting as someone who isn't sure of meeting and may or may not want to meet up. Equally off putting to some, maybe a swinger who is very active and has a list of verifications as long as your arm. I find that more off putting than someone who says that they are not sure and lack experience. But then again, I am weird.
I don't know the proportion of singles/couples males/females on here. I can make an educated guess. However I do think that a significant proportion of those who do swing, WILL make an effort to go to meets and to me that is the best way of finding people in a no pressure, face to face environment when you have so much more to go on than what they say (or don't say) in their profile, a list of their conquests with match reports and ratings out of ten, the posts they make on the forum or pm, how they are in chat and what they look like in their photos/videos. If you want verification, go to the meets. If you can't be arsed going to meets, then by all means use Shrep, but to me that is much, much inferior way of finding the person(s) whom are right for you.
I also bristle at being labelled 'a timewaster'. We've not met anybody for a very long time for personal reasons. We've not stopped swinging completely, we've just not swung recently. However any Shrep system would no doubt cast us in the eyes of some as potential timewasters, as nobody who has pm'd us in the past 12 months or so, has shagged us or even come close (does a Chinese meal count?). Am I, therefore, a timewaster? If so, why? Who defined that true swinging is something you have to do on a daily, weekly, monthly, bi-monthly, half-yearly basis? Could it not be that all these people who are so keen to weed out the timewasters, are equally just a bit impatient? If we are having a category for "timewasters" can we also have one for "will fuck pretty much anything provided it's available within the next 48 hours and genuine"? No, thought not.
I really hope Shrep fulfils the need for many who seem to need it. It is of no interest to me and has no value for me. It won't be used, I won't use it, but I have no doubt I will be labelled by some because of it. I think that's unfair and I think that's why when my current contract runs out, I'll be asking for a Bosman to join Bonkers United.
Also, the rather repugnant notion that if you don't buy into the verification system, then you won't be missed here is quite laughable really. In addition to being sneeringly inaccurate as I'd venture that a great many of the people, certainly here in the forum, who don't want the system are the very "genuine" swingers it aims to attract.
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Resonance
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 53
Bisexual Female, 53
0 miles · Merseyside
Forum
Sex God
Ok, I'm going to be a bugger here.
I don't for one moment believe there is a wrong time. I will explain what I mean.
If the person you meet is the right one for you, then you will both make sure that it is the right time. Time is an irrelevance.
What IS a problem, is circumstances and if they conspire against you, then they can be difficult or impossible to overcome.
If someone says it was the right person, wrong time. I believe they are saying that it is the right person, but only for now and under these conditions. This is a temporary thing. It has no lasting future.
If it is the right person, no conditions need be set. They will be mutually sustainable entierly dependent of time constraints. Circumstances may dictate it is difficult to maintain a relationship, but if it is the right person then they will work towards changing these circumstances to ensure they become favourable.
If they don't, then they are not the right person for you. Simply because they are not willing to make the commitment and sacrifices you are willing to make.
Right person, wrong time is a con. It is a cop out. They are not saying you are the right person for them, what they are saying is that you are the right person for them at this time and given these circumstances. Change the circumstances, and your position becomes untenable.
I didn't mean that to sound harsh. Time is never a problem, circumstances are. If someone has the time and circumstances in their favour and still will not commit to even attempting a long term future, then they are definitely not the right person, regardless of what your heart or head is telling you.
The right person will want you whatever... not whenever.
I don't for one moment believe there is a wrong time. I will explain what I mean.
If the person you meet is the right one for you, then you will both make sure that it is the right time. Time is an irrelevance.
What IS a problem, is circumstances and if they conspire against you, then they can be difficult or impossible to overcome.
If someone says it was the right person, wrong time. I believe they are saying that it is the right person, but only for now and under these conditions. This is a temporary thing. It has no lasting future.
If it is the right person, no conditions need be set. They will be mutually sustainable entierly dependent of time constraints. Circumstances may dictate it is difficult to maintain a relationship, but if it is the right person then they will work towards changing these circumstances to ensure they become favourable.
If they don't, then they are not the right person for you. Simply because they are not willing to make the commitment and sacrifices you are willing to make.
Right person, wrong time is a con. It is a cop out. They are not saying you are the right person for them, what they are saying is that you are the right person for them at this time and given these circumstances. Change the circumstances, and your position becomes untenable.
I didn't mean that to sound harsh. Time is never a problem, circumstances are. If someone has the time and circumstances in their favour and still will not commit to even attempting a long term future, then they are definitely not the right person, regardless of what your heart or head is telling you.
The right person will want you whatever... not whenever.
Sex God
Can we add...
People wearing pyjama's and slippers to take their kids to school or pop the shops.
Spin / Distortion / Downright lies - depending on your view.
Gel pens : Magnificent!
The Nintendo WII : Granny ten pin bowls.
Dogs wearing bling and clothing. Get a grip.
Paedophiles : Kids are safe nowhere! Keep them in, safe and sedantry and then wonder why so many are now struggling with weight issues. Duh!
Gang Culture - Pollution of the mind and soul.
Tattoo's : Once the preserve of sailors and popeye, now an art form, if you believe the nonsense written about them.
George W Bush : Proof that man and cabbage can successfully produce offspring.
We're all going to die!!! First it was the ozone layer, then the Millennium bug, then terrorism, global warming, then global cooling, then they weren't sure and decided on "climate change", then SARS, then Bird Flu and the economic collapse and now it's 2012 and the Mayan calendar. I don't even know why we bother...
People wearing pyjama's and slippers to take their kids to school or pop the shops.
Spin / Distortion / Downright lies - depending on your view.
Gel pens : Magnificent!
The Nintendo WII : Granny ten pin bowls.
Dogs wearing bling and clothing. Get a grip.
Paedophiles : Kids are safe nowhere! Keep them in, safe and sedantry and then wonder why so many are now struggling with weight issues. Duh!
Gang Culture - Pollution of the mind and soul.
Tattoo's : Once the preserve of sailors and popeye, now an art form, if you believe the nonsense written about them.
George W Bush : Proof that man and cabbage can successfully produce offspring.
We're all going to die!!! First it was the ozone layer, then the Millennium bug, then terrorism, global warming, then global cooling, then they weren't sure and decided on "climate change", then SARS, then Bird Flu and the economic collapse and now it's 2012 and the Mayan calendar. I don't even know why we bother...
Sex God
Thanks for all the practical advice... Erm... I do only wrap up one present a year however and I usually get little say in what it is after numerous disasters. The Gloria Hunniford Crochet yourself slim DVD with bonus panty-liners didn't go down particularly well, so she tends to tell me what she wants.
I did enjoy the wrap rapping. I feel all very gangsta now, I may go out and give them bitch ladies a bit of a smacked bottom.
Anyway, it's done. I do usually pay the extra for gift wrap. It wasn't an option on the skirt sadly. I do usually buy DvD's or books for people because (A) I'm lazy, (B) I get the ones I want and then I can borrow them in the new year and watch/read them myself.
Who says Christmas Spirit is dead?
I did enjoy the wrap rapping. I feel all very gangsta now, I may go out and give them bitch ladies a bit of a smacked bottom.
Anyway, it's done. I do usually pay the extra for gift wrap. It wasn't an option on the skirt sadly. I do usually buy DvD's or books for people because (A) I'm lazy, (B) I get the ones I want and then I can borrow them in the new year and watch/read them myself.
Who says Christmas Spirit is dead?
Sex God
There's one thing this time of year which is guaranteed to send me into a spiralling rage and leave me weeping copiously, holding scissors with a manic look in my enough to send my children fleeing upstairs in panic and my wife to have the NHS Mental Health helpline on speed-dial.
No, it isn't Noel and his Christmas presents. Nor is it the endless re-runs of Morecambe and Wise Christmas special. It isn't even the X-Factor single being number one. What I refer to is wrapping presents.
I hope I am not alone in this. I can gaze in wonder as Mrs R flips a prezzy around, cuts the perfect size of paper, cuts perfect lengths of sellotape, adds bows, ribbons and tags in such a blisteringly quickly manner that it seems almost churlish to open the presents on Xmas morning. She can have a pile of presents to wrap, do it in an hour and still be cheerful and chatty all the way through, even joining in with some of the old Christmas hits as she wraps so skilfully, Vanilla Ice would wince.
I on the other hand, descend into a dark madness. As I did this morning when I tried to wrap up my wife's skirt that she'd hinted to me she'd like in her own inimitable way. "I like that one. Get me that. For pity's sake DON'T choose something else." One red & grey knitted cardigan with robins wearing hats and the legend Merry Christmas spelt out on Holly leaves, and you are never forgiven are you?
Being dutiful and not wishing to have another Xmas under sexual sanctions due to "violating the Geneva convention due to purchasing clothes that are a crime against humanity", I had bought her the skirt and being practical, I asked her to try it on to ensure it fitted. She did so and it did. Hurrah! Stage one complete! She then passed me the skirt to put away and wrap up.
This is a foolish mistake. In the first instance, it assumes I know how to fold up a skirt. Oddly enough, I don't. I don't wear that many and when I do, the police usually take it off me in the cell. So this morning I took out the skirt from my wardrobe and set about folding it.
To compound matters further, it was one of those made from "crinkly" style material. This meant that the more I folded it, the less it looked like a skirt and more a bundle of rags. After ten minutes trying to figure out the best way I finally got it looking presentable. I then made my second error, trying to put it back into the bag it came in. Why do bag makers make bags smaller than the item itself? Is there a law that states "Bags provided for clothes shall be 9/10ths too small to fit the item in easily." Several aborted attempts later, after the skirt had done its best to roll itself into a tight bundle of mess, I managed to get it into the bag. It looked...erm... well there's no nice word for it so I'll say...shit. But by now already reaching a crescendo of expletives that would have Gordon Ramsey blushing, I plundered blindly on. Sealed the bag with the sticker provided and got out the wrapping paper.
Well actually, I didn't just get it out. For some reason my wife had decided to hide it. I have no idea why this is. For the vast majority of the year the wrapping paper we have sits either on top of the wardrobe or under the stairs. But no, not today. I searched high and low around the house and eventually located it at the back of her wardrobe. Do not ask me why. I do not presume to have the intellectual capabilities to fully grasp the need for wrapping paper to be hidden in the wardrobe a week before Christmas when people might actually want the bloody stuff, but that is because I am obviously male and have no grasp of such matters.
Half an hour after going to look for it, I finally cut a square of paper to wrap the skirt in. Only when I folded it up. It was about an inch too small to cover the parcel entirely. Informing the paper that it was less than useful for advising me to cut it there. I scrunched it up into a furious ball and launched it at the dog who was now eyeing me with a mixture of sympathy and disbelief.
The second sheet I cut easily fitted the skirt. Truth be told, I could have wrapped another skirt, the QE2 and Jupiter inside it as well. The first fold over went very well and I sellotaped it down with a grin. Easy!
The third error came when I attempted the second fold. For some reason the paper decided it didn't want to fold neatly and began to buckle and fold in strange ways. By now I just wanted it done, so pressed on and sellotaped the next bit down. It was a tad wonky, but no matter. I could press on. When I attempted the third fold, a corner ripped. This sent me into a further rage and so I taped the third fold down and sellotaped over the ripped corner. The fourth and final fold went by without further incident until I actually went to cut the sellotape.
Why is it when you use your teeth, the sellotape decides to split lengthways, and you end up with a piece about three lightyears long and half a centimetre wide? The sellotape went the way of the dog, who was now cowering in the corner with a crash hat on. I scrabbled at the sellotape to find the errant end, located it and pulled the split tape off. Cutting it with scissors so it was all neat. I then pulled of a length of tape, cut it with scissors hurrah! But wait! No!!! As the roll of tape fell onto the bed, the tape decided it would attach itself to itself.
"Oh deary me!" I said or something like that.
Anyway, At the third attempt I got the piece of tape and stuck the final side down. I then went back and folded up all the bits that looked crap and stuck them down too. Fevered and about to aneurysm, I picked up the present. It looked like a blind, dyspraxic Polar bear had been let loose in a Grotto.
Still it'll all be worth it. It'll be a nice surprise.
I'm off now to go and boil my head.
No, it isn't Noel and his Christmas presents. Nor is it the endless re-runs of Morecambe and Wise Christmas special. It isn't even the X-Factor single being number one. What I refer to is wrapping presents.
I hope I am not alone in this. I can gaze in wonder as Mrs R flips a prezzy around, cuts the perfect size of paper, cuts perfect lengths of sellotape, adds bows, ribbons and tags in such a blisteringly quickly manner that it seems almost churlish to open the presents on Xmas morning. She can have a pile of presents to wrap, do it in an hour and still be cheerful and chatty all the way through, even joining in with some of the old Christmas hits as she wraps so skilfully, Vanilla Ice would wince.
I on the other hand, descend into a dark madness. As I did this morning when I tried to wrap up my wife's skirt that she'd hinted to me she'd like in her own inimitable way. "I like that one. Get me that. For pity's sake DON'T choose something else." One red & grey knitted cardigan with robins wearing hats and the legend Merry Christmas spelt out on Holly leaves, and you are never forgiven are you?
Being dutiful and not wishing to have another Xmas under sexual sanctions due to "violating the Geneva convention due to purchasing clothes that are a crime against humanity", I had bought her the skirt and being practical, I asked her to try it on to ensure it fitted. She did so and it did. Hurrah! Stage one complete! She then passed me the skirt to put away and wrap up.
This is a foolish mistake. In the first instance, it assumes I know how to fold up a skirt. Oddly enough, I don't. I don't wear that many and when I do, the police usually take it off me in the cell. So this morning I took out the skirt from my wardrobe and set about folding it.
To compound matters further, it was one of those made from "crinkly" style material. This meant that the more I folded it, the less it looked like a skirt and more a bundle of rags. After ten minutes trying to figure out the best way I finally got it looking presentable. I then made my second error, trying to put it back into the bag it came in. Why do bag makers make bags smaller than the item itself? Is there a law that states "Bags provided for clothes shall be 9/10ths too small to fit the item in easily." Several aborted attempts later, after the skirt had done its best to roll itself into a tight bundle of mess, I managed to get it into the bag. It looked...erm... well there's no nice word for it so I'll say...shit. But by now already reaching a crescendo of expletives that would have Gordon Ramsey blushing, I plundered blindly on. Sealed the bag with the sticker provided and got out the wrapping paper.
Well actually, I didn't just get it out. For some reason my wife had decided to hide it. I have no idea why this is. For the vast majority of the year the wrapping paper we have sits either on top of the wardrobe or under the stairs. But no, not today. I searched high and low around the house and eventually located it at the back of her wardrobe. Do not ask me why. I do not presume to have the intellectual capabilities to fully grasp the need for wrapping paper to be hidden in the wardrobe a week before Christmas when people might actually want the bloody stuff, but that is because I am obviously male and have no grasp of such matters.
Half an hour after going to look for it, I finally cut a square of paper to wrap the skirt in. Only when I folded it up. It was about an inch too small to cover the parcel entirely. Informing the paper that it was less than useful for advising me to cut it there. I scrunched it up into a furious ball and launched it at the dog who was now eyeing me with a mixture of sympathy and disbelief.
The second sheet I cut easily fitted the skirt. Truth be told, I could have wrapped another skirt, the QE2 and Jupiter inside it as well. The first fold over went very well and I sellotaped it down with a grin. Easy!
The third error came when I attempted the second fold. For some reason the paper decided it didn't want to fold neatly and began to buckle and fold in strange ways. By now I just wanted it done, so pressed on and sellotaped the next bit down. It was a tad wonky, but no matter. I could press on. When I attempted the third fold, a corner ripped. This sent me into a further rage and so I taped the third fold down and sellotaped over the ripped corner. The fourth and final fold went by without further incident until I actually went to cut the sellotape.
Why is it when you use your teeth, the sellotape decides to split lengthways, and you end up with a piece about three lightyears long and half a centimetre wide? The sellotape went the way of the dog, who was now cowering in the corner with a crash hat on. I scrabbled at the sellotape to find the errant end, located it and pulled the split tape off. Cutting it with scissors so it was all neat. I then pulled of a length of tape, cut it with scissors hurrah! But wait! No!!! As the roll of tape fell onto the bed, the tape decided it would attach itself to itself.
"Oh deary me!" I said or something like that.
Anyway, At the third attempt I got the piece of tape and stuck the final side down. I then went back and folded up all the bits that looked crap and stuck them down too. Fevered and about to aneurysm, I picked up the present. It looked like a blind, dyspraxic Polar bear had been let loose in a Grotto.
Still it'll all be worth it. It'll be a nice surprise.
I'm off now to go and boil my head.
Sex God
Balls will he, I'll catch him hotwiring next doors video and having a sly one off the wrist on the roof... again. I thought the panting was Rudolph trying to catch his breath... How wrong I was. There's an image to take the innocence out of Christmas for you.
Honest, I was so naive, I thought it was snow on the roof... I know he only unloads his sack once a year but still, it was very impressive.
He said to tell you thanks anyway... ;-)
Honest, I was so naive, I thought it was snow on the roof... I know he only unloads his sack once a year but still, it was very impressive.
He said to tell you thanks anyway... ;-)
Sex God
Quote by Tan--Kinky
What about ones who just talk bollocks?
What dark sinister motive do we have, eh?
Mwah ha ha ha ha ha ha...
Bollocks talker here to
I have no motives other that making videos for Res' viewing pleasures, the sinister part of it is he actually likes them :giggle:Actually Duncanlondon just described me :undecided:
Welcome to understatement of the year...
I must be due another one soon? The restraining order runs out at midnight on the 31st...
Sex God
On the Fourth day of Christmas by true love sent to me...
Four Swinging Birds,
Three glass dildo's (complete with special offer BOGOF french letters)
Two sets of Cuffs
And a Bed big enough for three...
I could do this all by myself... I keep having to stop myself hogging the game...
Four Swinging Birds,
Three glass dildo's (complete with special offer BOGOF french letters)
Two sets of Cuffs
And a Bed big enough for three...
I could do this all by myself... I keep having to stop myself hogging the game...
Sex God
I think the most enjoyable threads are often the ones which have no reason for posting other than hoping people will join in and enjoy themselves, have a laugh and a bit of a giggle about nothing in particular.
I think they have equally as valid a place on the forum as any other post.
Some would say they are sorely needed.
The art of bollox talking is becoming lost (not Losty, he's not talking bollox. He's rather erudite most of the time, and his missus is foxy) in a sea of pedantry, snipery and poor mid-wifery.
Lets get out the guitar and sing... Kumbaya M'lord... Kumbaya...
What was the question again?
I think they have equally as valid a place on the forum as any other post.
Some would say they are sorely needed.
The art of bollox talking is becoming lost (not Losty, he's not talking bollox. He's rather erudite most of the time, and his missus is foxy) in a sea of pedantry, snipery and poor mid-wifery.
Lets get out the guitar and sing... Kumbaya M'lord... Kumbaya...
What was the question again?
Sex God
Quote by neilinleeds
Dave, I love you, and want to have your babies!You are the voice of reason, and no mistake.
*shows thread to Gem, mimes size of freezer, versus size of pig, tries to explain that just cos summat is half price, it don't mean it's a bargain must buy, not unless you actually have storage space for aforesaid humongous dead animal*
N x x x ;)
Spitroast?
Then we could sort the pig out...
;-)
Sex God
1. Semen that tastes like Swiss chocolate and has the same calorie level as a bran flake.
2. The ability to produce the above in sufficient quantities to become (A) stupidly happy and (B) rich.
3. Penis extension (obviously)
4. Hair where it should be, not where it shouldn't.
2. The ability to produce the above in sufficient quantities to become (A) stupidly happy and (B) rich.
3. Penis extension (obviously)
4. Hair where it should be, not where it shouldn't.
Sex God
I'd think celebrity TV Chefs would get asked this more.
I suppose it is a bit personal,but it also does pander to the Rambo fantasy for some and a gentle massage of the ego can be quite nice.
My Father in law was in the army, I never asked him this and I never heard anyone else either. It felt like a bit of a subject to be honest.
I suppose it is a bit personal,but it also does pander to the Rambo fantasy for some and a gentle massage of the ego can be quite nice.
My Father in law was in the army, I never asked him this and I never heard anyone else either. It felt like a bit of a subject to be honest.
Sex God
Poet in my inbox?
Is that a Euphemism? Or is Willy Shakeshaft up to his old tricks again eh? the Bard-steward...
There's plenty to amuse oneself... Go through the photo's and look for the worst wallpaper you can see. Honest, after a few pics you wouldn't notice if a David Beckham was rogering Tony Blair in the foreground. Then you can go onto other aspects of decor too. It's like being Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen without the need to be a cock.
I could go on... and I frequently do.
Is that a Euphemism? Or is Willy Shakeshaft up to his old tricks again eh? the Bard-steward...
There's plenty to amuse oneself... Go through the photo's and look for the worst wallpaper you can see. Honest, after a few pics you wouldn't notice if a David Beckham was rogering Tony Blair in the foreground. Then you can go onto other aspects of decor too. It's like being Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen without the need to be a cock.
I could go on... and I frequently do.
