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Valton
1 month ago
Straight Male, 77
Straight Female, 77
UK
Forum
Warming the Bed
OK I know I should know but please where can I find the instructions for inserting a photo into a post?
I can get as far as pressing the button for img on the post form and then become stuck! Quite pathetic.
And if somebody is being helpful, could they indicate where the link to the post about producing Avatars has got to?
I even tried the search facility before resorting to this post.
Best wishes for the New Year to any poster of a helpful reply.
Thanks.
I can get as far as pressing the button for img on the post form and then become stuck! Quite pathetic.
And if somebody is being helpful, could they indicate where the link to the post about producing Avatars has got to?
I even tried the search facility before resorting to this post.
Best wishes for the New Year to any poster of a helpful reply.
Thanks.
Warming the Bed
Suggest you get your own back.
Let her carry out her obsessive depilatory attack on your more intimate parts, and then leave it a few weeks until the bristles have re-emerged.
The sensation then associated with intercourse is about as much fun as having a rabid hedgehog seek to hibernate within those tender depths.
On reflection, though, I can think of one or two who would find that to be one of their "things"
Let her carry out her obsessive depilatory attack on your more intimate parts, and then leave it a few weeks until the bristles have re-emerged.
The sensation then associated with intercourse is about as much fun as having a rabid hedgehog seek to hibernate within those tender depths.
On reflection, though, I can think of one or two who would find that to be one of their "things"
Warming the Bed
Hope nobody minds if I slightly hijack this thread and ask for help around Yorkshire.
Mrs V is hinting about Xmas approaching. Can anybody suggest some local more specialist type shops please?
(I think she has in mind the kind of basque that can control cellulite and has a special little pocket for a bus pass--but I am probably wrong, as usual.)
Valton
PS don't let her know, I want it to be a surprise.
Mrs V is hinting about Xmas approaching. Can anybody suggest some local more specialist type shops please?
(I think she has in mind the kind of basque that can control cellulite and has a special little pocket for a bus pass--but I am probably wrong, as usual.)
Valton
PS don't let her know, I want it to be a surprise.
Warming the Bed
Sorry about that lost post.
So Dambuster thinks telling somebody that they have the personality of an ugly bird could be construed as a compliment, even in a backhanded way?
I am trying to work this through, and can only think that it means that ugly birds must have great personalities.
So why has Mrs V taken umbrage and taken it personally when asked for her opinion and can I blame Dambuster for the fact that I am now eating last night's pizza remnant instead of the promised roast beef and Yorkshires?
Anyway. to get back to backhanded compliments, I can report that the demented gerbil which we keep as a family pet, managed to ensconce itself in my trouser pocket and accompany us to Partners last Saturday.
The creature escaped from our locker and established a vantage point in the pocket of the pool table. From here, it reveals that it heard the following interaction between a wine fuelled, although very delightful, female inebriate and a rather convincing TV.
It went, "Oiy you. Are you a woman?" So I suppose that may have been a compliment.
However, later, the even more wine fuelled, and now even more delightful (fewer clothes) inebriate addressed the same query to a tall (and to those of a more sober state, fetchingly attractive) young lady who was walking in an unstable although admittedly rather masculine manner, due to wearing 3 inch platform with 9 inch heel, shoes
That, I guess, was not a compliment. but it elicited the winning response of "Yep, all woman" with a convincing proof by the display of an impressive pair of boobs and a well manicured bit of female anatomy under the short skirt she was wearing.
The gerbil averted its gaze, but returned home happy and smiling.
So Dambuster thinks telling somebody that they have the personality of an ugly bird could be construed as a compliment, even in a backhanded way?
I am trying to work this through, and can only think that it means that ugly birds must have great personalities.
So why has Mrs V taken umbrage and taken it personally when asked for her opinion and can I blame Dambuster for the fact that I am now eating last night's pizza remnant instead of the promised roast beef and Yorkshires?
Anyway. to get back to backhanded compliments, I can report that the demented gerbil which we keep as a family pet, managed to ensconce itself in my trouser pocket and accompany us to Partners last Saturday.
The creature escaped from our locker and established a vantage point in the pocket of the pool table. From here, it reveals that it heard the following interaction between a wine fuelled, although very delightful, female inebriate and a rather convincing TV.
It went, "Oiy you. Are you a woman?" So I suppose that may have been a compliment.
However, later, the even more wine fuelled, and now even more delightful (fewer clothes) inebriate addressed the same query to a tall (and to those of a more sober state, fetchingly attractive) young lady who was walking in an unstable although admittedly rather masculine manner, due to wearing 3 inch platform with 9 inch heel, shoes
That, I guess, was not a compliment. but it elicited the winning response of "Yep, all woman" with a convincing proof by the display of an impressive pair of boobs and a well manicured bit of female anatomy under the short skirt she was wearing.
The gerbil averted its gaze, but returned home happy and smiling.
Warming the Bed
Quote by meat2pleaseu
I also sent a wink yesterday :shock: to my selfand clean forgot I had and then got all excited when a half hour later the auto responder PM'd me back
ops:
Can you send to yourself :shock:
May try just to say i had one :lol:
i did giggle the day i wondered if you could pm yourself, and found it worked :giggle:
Now I really am impressed, I can spend all night arguimg with and winking at myself!
Trouble is, no one will know the difference from a usual Sat night.
Warming the Bed
Don't forget that once infected, the virus can remain dormant and reappear as a cold sore at any time.
So don't be mislead into any silly assumptions that the development of a cold sore implies that the unfortunate sufferrer has recently been in close contact with an infected transmitter.
Partnership breakdowns can be caused by small misunderstandings!
So don't be mislead into any silly assumptions that the development of a cold sore implies that the unfortunate sufferrer has recently been in close contact with an infected transmitter.
Partnership breakdowns can be caused by small misunderstandings!
Warming the Bed
Sure is a possible problem and gets worse with digital which can be "zoomed."
Puts me in mind of a work colleague who got himself dismissed for taking "artistic" photos of some of the female staff, and managed to get himself and his camera incorporated in the mirror of a wardrobe door in the bedroom.
Puts me in mind of a work colleague who got himself dismissed for taking "artistic" photos of some of the female staff, and managed to get himself and his camera incorporated in the mirror of a wardrobe door in the bedroom.
Warming the Bed
How can Dambuster know about AA box keys at his youthful age!
I bet half the population viewing this site are wondering " what is the man talking about?"
If he really did pick up one, then I guess it must have resulted in a very cosy get together in the little wasp coloured shed. .
Yes, key parties did occur, at the time when sex was first invented. What happy memories.
I bet half the population viewing this site are wondering " what is the man talking about?"
If he really did pick up one, then I guess it must have resulted in a very cosy get together in the little wasp coloured shed. .
Yes, key parties did occur, at the time when sex was first invented. What happy memories.
Warming the Bed
I noticed in the financial/sociological charecterisations used for defining various groups of the population there has appeared a new set of catagorisations which included one known as Sceniors. This is rplacing Skiing (Spending the kids inheritance)
Initially i thought this was a misprint, but it really does refer to those senior citizens who are still actively enjoying their life. I am not clear if the initiators meant to include the swinging scene, but it seems to me to be a really suitable term for some of us on SH.
Anybody know any OAP club suitable for real sceniors? Both me and Mrs V are all for keeping it up!
Initially i thought this was a misprint, but it really does refer to those senior citizens who are still actively enjoying their life. I am not clear if the initiators meant to include the swinging scene, but it seems to me to be a really suitable term for some of us on SH.
Anybody know any OAP club suitable for real sceniors? Both me and Mrs V are all for keeping it up!
:x :x
Warming the Bed
Please be kind to a computer illiterate.
My machine has been away for fixing and on its return and my return to the SH site, I am getting the site in text only.
I know I have seen this somewhere in the settings options, but I really can't find the adjustment.
Also,-and I know this is likewise very basic-all the picture images are coming up blank with a little red cross in them.
Help please, and moderator please lock the post as soon as a sensible response has been given, so that my ignorance can fade from view. Thankyou.
My machine has been away for fixing and on its return and my return to the SH site, I am getting the site in text only.
I know I have seen this somewhere in the settings options, but I really can't find the adjustment.
Also,-and I know this is likewise very basic-all the picture images are coming up blank with a little red cross in them.
Help please, and moderator please lock the post as soon as a sensible response has been given, so that my ignorance can fade from view. Thankyou.
Warming the Bed
Seems to me that this post caused a thread which went off track.
It started with a massage for a couple which lead to sexual chemistry developing betwen themselves, but somewhere became contaminated with a sort of accusation of paid sex and exploitation.
Going back to the starting point, this sounds a lovely scenario for arousal in a civilised and luxurious setting and we would be interested to hear from anyone with experience of how to let matters develop as we are hoping to return to Thailand this February.
On our last visit we definately seem to have missed out on an experience-which with hindsight was obviously available.
It started with a massage for a couple which lead to sexual chemistry developing betwen themselves, but somewhere became contaminated with a sort of accusation of paid sex and exploitation.
Going back to the starting point, this sounds a lovely scenario for arousal in a civilised and luxurious setting and we would be interested to hear from anyone with experience of how to let matters develop as we are hoping to return to Thailand this February.
On our last visit we definately seem to have missed out on an experience-which with hindsight was obviously available.
Warming the Bed
A PLAY for XMAS
Having spent too much time watching the umpteenth repeat of a Morecambe & Wise Xmas Special I have been stirred to embark on the production of a new Shakespearian tragedy.
My initial outlines for the play are shown below, and collaboration on the script would be welcomed, (but be warned that any nude scenes-inserted purely for artistic reality-should give first rights, on the female lead, to the author. After all, it is my play.
ACT ONE, scene 1
Early November. The pavement on a very busy road outside a very upmarket lingerie shop.
Large lorries pass frequently, stirring up clouds of dust. A pigeon has an asthma attack and the shop staff are busy changing the window display into the Xmas display of downmarket lingerie favoured by males for Xmas presents to themselves, which can be displayed on their partners.
The centre piece of the display is a virginally brilliant white negligee set of a diaphanous nature trimmed with an abundance of white feathers.
Mr V passes the shop twice daily on his route to and from work.
Scene 2
Xmas Eve MrVs place of work.
Mr V is trying to convince himself that the fact that that Mrs V so far remains bereft of any Xmas present will not cast any damper on the festivities planned for the following day. Mr V departs on homeward journey.
Scene 3
Xmas Eve Inside a very upmarket lingerie shop.
Mr V is using his credit card and agreeing to gift wrapping (in a very upmarket box at a very upmarket supplement)
ACT TWO, scene 1
Xmas Day morning.
The home of Mr & MrsV. Gifts from under the Xmas tree have been exchanged. Mr V has received a carefully researched gift which shows the love, affection, time generously given into tracking it down etc,etc (& going on forever) which has been input by MrsV.
Mrs V is opening her extravagantly boxed & beribboned gift.
Clouds of dust fall from a decidedly dirty grey garment, diesel fumes perfume the air and copious feathers detach themselves from the transparent material.
Any help in developing the script would be welcome, especially if it related to any means of redemption.
Having spent too much time watching the umpteenth repeat of a Morecambe & Wise Xmas Special I have been stirred to embark on the production of a new Shakespearian tragedy.
My initial outlines for the play are shown below, and collaboration on the script would be welcomed, (but be warned that any nude scenes-inserted purely for artistic reality-should give first rights, on the female lead, to the author. After all, it is my play.
ACT ONE, scene 1
Early November. The pavement on a very busy road outside a very upmarket lingerie shop.
Large lorries pass frequently, stirring up clouds of dust. A pigeon has an asthma attack and the shop staff are busy changing the window display into the Xmas display of downmarket lingerie favoured by males for Xmas presents to themselves, which can be displayed on their partners.
The centre piece of the display is a virginally brilliant white negligee set of a diaphanous nature trimmed with an abundance of white feathers.
Mr V passes the shop twice daily on his route to and from work.
Scene 2
Xmas Eve MrVs place of work.
Mr V is trying to convince himself that the fact that that Mrs V so far remains bereft of any Xmas present will not cast any damper on the festivities planned for the following day. Mr V departs on homeward journey.
Scene 3
Xmas Eve Inside a very upmarket lingerie shop.
Mr V is using his credit card and agreeing to gift wrapping (in a very upmarket box at a very upmarket supplement)
ACT TWO, scene 1
Xmas Day morning.
The home of Mr & MrsV. Gifts from under the Xmas tree have been exchanged. Mr V has received a carefully researched gift which shows the love, affection, time generously given into tracking it down etc,etc (& going on forever) which has been input by MrsV.
Mrs V is opening her extravagantly boxed & beribboned gift.
Clouds of dust fall from a decidedly dirty grey garment, diesel fumes perfume the air and copious feathers detach themselves from the transparent material.
Any help in developing the script would be welcome, especially if it related to any means of redemption.
Warming the Bed
Quote by bumpkin
Hope the hamster is OK
Thankyou for your concern regarding the little creature's health.
Sadly he had to be transported on a spinal injury board to our local branch of VetZ4Petz, where he has been placed in traction, using an adapted Swan Vestas match box.
he prognosis is generally favourable but he will have to adapt to future living with a caliper on his left rear leg.
End of topic and Mrs V are off to Partners tonight pending a cessation of activity over the festive period.
Warming the Bed
Open reply to pm
I am sorry that I am not responding via the normal route of a private pm but this has been occasioned by a regrettable incident caused by the family hamster (Ferdinand IV, aged 17months) slipping from his observation post on the Xmas tree and landing nose first on the delete key of my keyboard a mere nanosecond before I could enter the send command and despatch my reply to your good self.
However, we wish to thank you for taking the trouble to include us as recipients for your enticing introductory offer of services.
We congratulate you on the careful planning and research which must have gone into your successful spamming of most of the 300000 (alleged) members of the site. Setting your parameters for the distribution of your message and the casting of your net, so tightly, will, I feel sure, render it a near certainty that you will obtain the response which you so clearly deserve.
However, I must alert you to the fact that setting a limit of 358 miles from your home base, whilst probably retaining the interest of those likely to travel readily towards you, does disenfranchise the poor sod who lives just beyond the Outer Hebrides surrounded only by sheep and seals (none of whom have expressed any interest in swinging activities). Jock of Kintyre, as he is affectionately known to his paramour, (a well presented black faced ewe) would have been a far more likely prospect than many others who did receive your pm.
None the less, I must tell you that on seeing your 3 line literary masterpiece, Mrs V was clearly overcome with emotion. Her eyes glazed and rolled upwards which, I am assured, is a clear sign of intense arousal.
Indeed, it was only my quick thinking and rapid response of hiding the car keys within the contents of a half consumed jar of Branston pickle, that prevented her from journeying northwards forthwith to avail herself of an opportunity of a shag. Bearing in mind, of course, that it was not any old shag, but one made available from within the heartlands of BNP activity in mid Lancashire from an unknown and undescribed male..
How could a girl resist? A" profound and sensitive piece of literary foreplay", was what I think she described your message as being.
I wish you well with your efforts and look forward to receiving many more Spam adverts masquerading as PMs.
I am sorry that I am not responding via the normal route of a private pm but this has been occasioned by a regrettable incident caused by the family hamster (Ferdinand IV, aged 17months) slipping from his observation post on the Xmas tree and landing nose first on the delete key of my keyboard a mere nanosecond before I could enter the send command and despatch my reply to your good self.
However, we wish to thank you for taking the trouble to include us as recipients for your enticing introductory offer of services.
We congratulate you on the careful planning and research which must have gone into your successful spamming of most of the 300000 (alleged) members of the site. Setting your parameters for the distribution of your message and the casting of your net, so tightly, will, I feel sure, render it a near certainty that you will obtain the response which you so clearly deserve.
However, I must alert you to the fact that setting a limit of 358 miles from your home base, whilst probably retaining the interest of those likely to travel readily towards you, does disenfranchise the poor sod who lives just beyond the Outer Hebrides surrounded only by sheep and seals (none of whom have expressed any interest in swinging activities). Jock of Kintyre, as he is affectionately known to his paramour, (a well presented black faced ewe) would have been a far more likely prospect than many others who did receive your pm.
None the less, I must tell you that on seeing your 3 line literary masterpiece, Mrs V was clearly overcome with emotion. Her eyes glazed and rolled upwards which, I am assured, is a clear sign of intense arousal.
Indeed, it was only my quick thinking and rapid response of hiding the car keys within the contents of a half consumed jar of Branston pickle, that prevented her from journeying northwards forthwith to avail herself of an opportunity of a shag. Bearing in mind, of course, that it was not any old shag, but one made available from within the heartlands of BNP activity in mid Lancashire from an unknown and undescribed male..
How could a girl resist? A" profound and sensitive piece of literary foreplay", was what I think she described your message as being.
I wish you well with your efforts and look forward to receiving many more Spam adverts masquerading as PMs.
