Hey Classie Kate, thanks for writing such a fantastic post, it's a really useful thread - didn't read all of it but I also teach self defence and here are some useful tips.
1) If you are walking down a road at night on your own, walk facing ONCOMING traffic, so that if something happens or a car slows down towards you you can see it coming.
2) An FBI Survey in the late 80's found that in any sexual assault or attack there are two locations, the first location where the attacker locates his or her victim and the second location where the assault takes place. Most attackers will have scoped the area out and will know where they intend the attack to take place. NEVER let the attacker take you away from the area, scream, kick them in the shins, scratch them, punch them and shout 'FIRE' or 'MUGGER' - unfortunately it is true that most people will not come running if you yell ' '.
3) Whilst if you fight back you ARE more likely to be hurt by your attacker you are also about 2/3 less likely to be sexually assaulted.
4) Walk with your keys between your fingers as you walk home, they make a useful weapon, and you can claim 'reasonable' self defence if taken to court as it is a non-lethal item and cannot be described as a 'weapon'.
5) You are legally allowed to use 'reasonable force' to defend yourself if you believe that your personal space is invaded or that you are in danger of an 'iminent attack on your person'. This means that you DONT HAVE TO WAIT TO BE HURT to hit the attacker so, HIT THE B**STARD FIRST AND RUN.
6) If you are on a bus or getting off a train or getting out of a taxi, have your keys in your hands so that you can open your door as soon as you reach your home. Always look to see who is getting off your bus or near your taxi when heading home, be aware of your surroundings so that you are not taken by surprise. If you take a taxi home, never get out near your house, get off a street early so that the driver does not know where you live.
7) If you live alone and hang washing out hang out some big T-Shirts so it looks like a guy lives in the house as well.
8) DO NOT talk on your phone to look busy on the way home, this is a distraction in itself and an attraction to muggers, most opportunist attackers whether sexual or otherwise look for 'weaker' or more distracted victims, don't make their life easy.
9) It's harder than you think to hit a guy in the nuts, if grabbed from behind, headbut the fecker then reach behind you and nip his inner thigh or grab his balls and twist them, if grabbed from the front, around the throat, don't grasp his hands, kick his balls, jab his throat and use your arms to slam down over the top of his to break his grasp, or drop your whole body downwards to break his grasp and run.
10) if grasped from behind breathe in if you can as he comes towards you, then if he's using a bear 'hug' exhale, the extra space might allow you the room to drop down from his grasp.
11) The weakest point in a man or woman's closed grasp is between the forefinger and the thumb, pull out through this point, not towards the fingers as your instincts tell you.
12) Do not wear you hair in a pony tail, this is too easy for someone to grasp and use against you.
13) if someone grabs your hair on top of your head, put your hands on top of this graps, to losen it, then twist down and away, this will twist their grasp away and allow you to run away.
14) If you leave a drink in a bar, it's wasted. Buy another one.
15) Never EVER take a drink from someone you don't know, even on a first date, always buy your own or order something to your table - safe is better than sorry.
16) If travelling alone at night in a taxi, sit in the front seat - you can get out of the taxi a lot more easily and hit the attacker.
Right there are more but that should do for now.
Be safe,
Amber xxx
I absolutely LOOOVE porn, it's very entertaining. Sometimes I like things to be hard (well I always like it hard!) but I also like softer things like books and things when I'm on my own, there is a limit to how interesting it is for a woman to see a vagina for hours, even a bi one like me!
I have a whole host of porn, including some mistakenly expensive ones from Ann Summers - good God what is Anna Spam about, she's heralded as some sort of oracle for female sexuality in the modern world - her stuff is like a bad B movie with haggard women using bad vibrators in a TRAVEL OFFICE!! WTF
Then there is the one with the scene of beauticians getting it on with a woman getting massaged.. hmm, not realistic....
Feck me it annoys me, and all horny with my trusty rabbit and I might as well be reading the Beano!!
Ranting over, I am fascinated by women's attitude to porn. Pornographic material CAN be degrading to women, there is no doubt about it because it objectifies us as things to be used, but surely that is half of the appeal? Ershwhile where would the whore/saint dichotemy in literature and art come from?
Are any 'IRATE' feminists aware of the fact that women make a feck lot more money than men per film, where is your equality there??
Ranting over, I do think it's interesting to see anyone's interest in porn, you either like it or not in the same way that you either get off on someone weeing on you or you don't .
It's not quite like gumpy's box of chocolates, but you get the idea. Men and women in this country enjoy the safe pleasures of relative sexual liberation, so why hinder anyone else's fun.
As long as the individuals are able to give valid consent, then go for it!
BTW - I found a DVD by Private called 'DP 3' or something.... hmm rocked my evening
Amber xxx
can anyone recommend a club in south london or in london? I have a friend who would like to come to a club with me - so I'd love to get some advice.
Merry Chrimbo
Amber xx
This is a really interesting thread. I think that the key to meeting up with someone who doesn't want to just 'grab' you off the virtual streets of SH is as has been said establishing a sense of personality.
Communication is key to safe and respectful fun, there are a lot of nutters floating around, and going into unknown territory with anyone is a risky business.
Back to the original question however I would be interested to hear from others as to how many of arranged 'meets' have come through and how many have been cancelled at the last minute.
I think that for me establishing a rapport is important as I don't want to get tarted up and go and meet someone who is at home scratching their knackers over my picture rather than getting out to meet me.
Thanks for the info re the chat rooms Juniper - muchos appreciated.
Amber xx
As I said, I'm a bi lady - females also always welcome!
Amber x
Hey there,
I think that this is a really interesting thread. I'm a single bi female and even as a genuine and reasonably friendly one ( I hope!) it's never that simple.
I've met a few single guys, one was great the other was fine, but it's a bit nerve wrecking the first time you do it. I think it can take a lot of courage for anyone, couple or single to build up to meeting up with a stranger in the flesh.
I think that for anyone it makes a big difference if you make the effort to get to know the other people a bit before going in for the 'kill' as it were.
I haven't yet reached the stage where I've met up with a couple, simply because I've not established a sufficiently strong connection - and to be honest I havent' looked that hard. I've had a look at the adds mostly and good god they can be intimidating, they're all a bit random and someone displaying their cock - well is likely to be one!!
I think that the chat rooms are interesting but it's a bit off-putting to be bombarded with whispers when you kind of want to just get involved in a bit of banter. I think that having a lot more about yourself as a person in the add will get you a long way with anyone 'normal'. This is rather ironic coming from me as my profile is rather barren - the last fella I met up with told me he was convinced I was a man.. what am I doing wrong!!!
Any hoo - any advice on my ramblings and a good way to go about meeting a sexy friendly couple while on the site would be appreciated.
Amber x
This is a really interesting thread. I'm quite curious to read about it with the 'shoe' being on the other foot.. or rather ... well you know where that is headed.
I think that it's interesting that in any given sexual situation, despite the lack of intimacy or vocalisation seeing something that you have not seen before or thinking about something new can sometimes lead to a new fantasy or an opened part of your own sexual repertoire.
Perchance a lot of men in an entangled situation may find it sexually arousing to see a man on their or another man's penis, as it's a new visual image and perhaps not one that they have entertained as being sexually exciting.
I am bi, and find it very interesting to see how bi men act in situations like this.
amber x
I haven't read the entire chain, but I think that it's a really good thing that there are a lot of people commenting on the fact that these were women as well as being prostitutes. I think that it's a shame that this fact seems to be emblazoned across all of the papers, it must be really hard for their families, but at the same time there has been a lot of reasonable efforts made by the media to highlight that these were normal 'local' girls with lives of their own.
I think that the public at large has a tendency to rather categorize people that they don't understand or that they don't interact with and this can be on any level.
I'm also totally glad that a forum like this highlighting the fact that any man should go to the police if he has information that might help, it's not about protecting a relationship that might not withstand the truth it's about ensuring that other innocent women don't get killed.
I think that the British public is starting to see that just because a woman sells sexual practises that this does not allow or enable another person to or hurt her, but the scary thing is that the current legal situation in this country means that a lot of women have to work on the streets - that is why so many of them are getting killed so indiscriminately - 94 in the last 7 years - HOW IS THIS ACCEPTABLE...
I hope that society is changing, even slowly and only a little to stop other women from being killed so easily. Maybe if nothing else this will spur the government into changing the laws so that women will be protected.
Amber
