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ananga__ranga
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 49
Forum
I have two mates that are hung like horses minimum of a bloody foot each; in the changing rooms its a bit difficult to miss. 
And they both love going on about there cocks, why not? They keep measuring there willies comparing sizes, its willy worship...
There girlfriends are always tired and exhuasted when I see them I wonder why? :wink: :wink:
And they both love going on about there cocks, why not? They keep measuring there willies comparing sizes, its willy worship...
There girlfriends are always tired and exhuasted when I see them I wonder why?
:wink: :wink: I was getting married at the end of the week and was asked to stay the remainder of the week at my fiancées parents house, I was anxious about this for my fiancée has a gorgeous younger sister, she walks around with practically nothing on and always flirts with me.
Well I turned up took my suitcase out the car and rang the door bell, and of all the people to answer, it was her the sister wearing a black skin tight skirt with black satin knee length high heel boots with a tight low cut v neck long sleeve top which was so thin I could see her puffy erect nipples through it.
I walked in putting my suitcase in the corner and I asked “where is everybody?†Oh there all out shopping, they won’t be back for ooh at least three hours†she answered with a smile, then she started walking up the stairs, I said “where, where are you going? She stopped at the top and she bent over and I saw right up her skirt and she was not wearing a thing, she said “if you want me I’ll be in my room undressing†as soon as she finished I walked straight out the front door and started walking down the path searching desperately for my car keys and then suddenly to be greeted by the family; my fiancée, mother in law and my father in law with tears running down his cheeks hugging me and then saying “I am so proud of you son so proud to have you marry my daughter for if you can resist her sister I know you will be faithful to my girlâ€
So what is the moral of this story? Always leave your condoms in the car.
Well I turned up took my suitcase out the car and rang the door bell, and of all the people to answer, it was her the sister wearing a black skin tight skirt with black satin knee length high heel boots with a tight low cut v neck long sleeve top which was so thin I could see her puffy erect nipples through it.
I walked in putting my suitcase in the corner and I asked “where is everybody?†Oh there all out shopping, they won’t be back for ooh at least three hours†she answered with a smile, then she started walking up the stairs, I said “where, where are you going? She stopped at the top and she bent over and I saw right up her skirt and she was not wearing a thing, she said “if you want me I’ll be in my room undressing†as soon as she finished I walked straight out the front door and started walking down the path searching desperately for my car keys and then suddenly to be greeted by the family; my fiancée, mother in law and my father in law with tears running down his cheeks hugging me and then saying “I am so proud of you son so proud to have you marry my daughter for if you can resist her sister I know you will be faithful to my girlâ€
So what is the moral of this story? Always leave your condoms in the car.
Quote by coupledn6
how do i put pictures on our ad when they are too big?
If I remember rightly the picture has to be less then 50k, but make sure its not tiny for when someone clicks on the photo all they will see is a smudge.
Plus if you cover up your faces using those painting software, that increases the size of the file; and it becomes more hassle to down size, I learnt that the hard way, trial and error, good luck
sex :dry:
A close friend of mine rings me up recently telling me an old flame of his that has turned up, and wants him back, or better words wants his one foot cock back.
He's in a difficult position he's in a new relationship with a woman he's not really attracted to nor love's and now he's got this hot horny woman that wants his big cock (she made that clear) on a regular basis and nothing else.
My advice was don't do something you may later regret, think about it before you step in it.
What advice would you have given him?????
He's in a difficult position he's in a new relationship with a woman he's not really attracted to nor love's and now he's got this hot horny woman that wants his big cock (she made that clear) on a regular basis and nothing else.
My advice was don't do something you may later regret, think about it before you step in it.
What advice would you have given him?????
The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?"
No one answered until little Mary stood up, angry, and said, "You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!" With a sneer on her face, she then sat back down.
Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, "Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?"
Little Mary's mouth fell open; then she said to those around her, "Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!"
The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, anybody?"
Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, "The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye."
Mrs. Parks said, "Very good, Billy," then turned to Mary and continued, "As for you, young lady, I have three things to say:
One, you have a dirty mind,
Two, you didn't read your homework, and
Three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed."
No one answered until little Mary stood up, angry, and said, "You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!" With a sneer on her face, she then sat back down.
Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, "Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?"
Little Mary's mouth fell open; then she said to those around her, "Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!"
The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, anybody?"
Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, "The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye."
Mrs. Parks said, "Very good, Billy," then turned to Mary and continued, "As for you, young lady, I have three things to say:
One, you have a dirty mind,
Two, you didn't read your homework, and
Three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed."
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains" I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice-versa." Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500!." Figuring that since she is a blonde that he will easily win the match.
This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the lawyer.
Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer: "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his coworkers and friends he knows. All to no avail.
Afterover an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500. The blonde politely takes the $500 and turns away to get back to sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, so what IS the answer!?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.
The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains" I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice-versa." Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500!." Figuring that since she is a blonde that he will easily win the match.
This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the lawyer.
Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer: "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his coworkers and friends he knows. All to no avail.
Afterover an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500. The blonde politely takes the $500 and turns away to get back to sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, so what IS the answer!?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.
Quote by Lil_Bunny
Are there any programmes that have the same effect on you?
TRIBES (BBC2), This programme not only made me feel that my life is predictable in other words "NORMAL" but safe.
Showing people in the deepest jungles surviving off birds the size of blue tits, not knowing if their going to live to see the next day. But saying that in a way I envy those people.
, but you gotta praise his upfront honesty 
:? I guess thats what does it for her.