barewolf's Profile

10 Sep 2005

Jim Morrison and his band are sitting on one side of a hotel room, all are naked. On the other side of the room is John Lennon and his band, also naked...
In walks Monica Lewinski who gets on her knees in front of Jim Morrison and proceeds to perform oral sex on him. When Jim has 'finished', Lewinski moves on to the next member of his band and does the same for him, and so on until she's done all of Jim's band...
Then she crosses the room and gets down in front of John Lennon...
At that point there is an almighty crash and a Mini Cooper bursts through the wall and into the room... Michael Caine gets out of the Mini, rushes over to Lewinski, grabbing her by the hair and exclaims...
altogether now... you must have seen the movie... best Michael Caine impressions now...
"Oi! You're only supposed to blow the bloody Doors off!"
biggrin

View Post

10 Sep 2005

Oh... also on the subject of 'dangerous insertions', I've had several women enquire to me about the potential dangers of having my penis inside them! lol

This is because it has a piercing! biggrin

To clarify that, I have a Frenum piercing, that's that bit of skin on the underside where a membrane joins the foreskin joins the shaft. When you're circumcised, as I am, that bit of skin can be pierced. Various things can be worn in this piercing, a small bar bell or ring, or as I curently have, a large ring (30mm internal dia, 4mm thick, 6mm ball closure) which is through the piercing but worn around the penis shaft, fitting snugly around the ridge behind my penis head / glans.
Several women have enquired as to whether it is likely to hurt them or cause them any damage, or come off and get lost inside them.
Well the answers are: No it wont hurt or cause any damage, it is made of polished titanium and has no sharp edges. It's purpose is in fact to increase pleasure for the woman. This particular type of piercing is intended to stimulate the G spot. That of course depends on what your wearing in it and what position you are using. Whatever though, it will always rub the inside of a girls vagina, giving a little extra sensation.
And there's no way it can come off and get lost... not unless it takes some of my penis with it! :shock:
What do any of the ladies here think? Would you be nervous of having a pierced willy inserted?

View Post

10 Sep 2005

This brings back alll sorts of memories biggrin

BTW... just so you all know... I'm currently single (M)... divorced ten years ago and finished another relationship two years ago.
Many years ago (28! :shock: ) when I had a Mini (original Mini, obviously), a girlfriend decided one day that the gearstick looked inviting and proceeded to lower herself onto it! It didn't do her any harm, in fact she reported that she enjoyed it extremely... it was a little difficult though, and perhaps a little dangerous, in that the gearstick was still attached to the car and we were doing 60 mph along the A49 at the time! Apparently the vibration was something else! lol

When I was married, my wife was a Nurse. She spent some time in A&E at a ver large Hopsital in Manchester and told me of numerous 'casualties' involving objects lost or stuck! One was a foriegn guy who didn't speak English but was obviously in pain... eventually they recovered a 5" vibrator from his rear end... it was still going and had burrowed a long way in! :shock:
A woman brought her 14 year old daughter into A&E one day, not exactly sure what was wrong, but the girl was in tears. The tears were probably due to embarrassment and fear of how her mother would react when she found out what the problem was... she had been experimenting with a banana, but the silly girl had peeled it first and it had broken off inside her vagina! She wasn't in pain but didn't realise it would have eventually turned to mush and her own juices would eventually get rid of it... as she was there however, my wife carefully removed the fruity insert for her and she was sent home with her mother... and no doubt an embarrassing atmosphere around the dining table that evening! :lol:
Another young woman patient admitted herself one day with a Coke bottle (the old glass 'waisted' shape bottle) well and truly stuck. It was the suction... inserting the bottle had forced air out of her vagina and her juices had created a seal around the bottle, the subsequent vacuum was holding the bottle firmly in place! That's very dangerous because if it is not removed carefully, allowing air back in, it can quite literally turn a girl inside out! :shock:
Perhaps the funniest though was not something that got stiuck, but something that simply wouldn't stay in! :lol: I'll explain! I was with a girfriend for a number of years, who had, lets say, a very strong sexual appetite... a very attractive, slim, leggy, Liz Hurley lookalike... she was a right exhibitionist in any case, and was pretty near constantly aroused. To set the scene, this girl never ever wore underwear, even with short skirts... now she had a few toys, including some of those chinese duo balls... this particular day we were out shopping and she was wearing a short black pleated skirt, a white blouse and black 3.5" heel court shoes... no stockings because it was warm and of course no knickers.... what I didn't know before we left home was, she had popped her duo balls insinde herself (I assume everyone knows what they are but just in case, they are two hollow spheres with weights inside them that cause them to vibrate pleasantly when you move).... well we were walking along the street in Chester, looking around the shops when she starts fiddling about with herself :shock: I enquired what was wrong and she told me that as she was getting very wet while walking, "these things keep slipping out!" and promptly put her hand up her skirt and produced two shiny chrome balls on a piece of string! :shock: I don't know if anyone noticed... I was too stunned by the fact she had yanked them out in the middle of the busy street! :lol:

View Post

10 Sep 2005

I have just moved from BT Openworld to Carphone Whorehouse's Talk Talk package. The reason being, I had a 576k business account with BT costing Â£35 / month, that I had for two-and-a-half years. As BT are now advertising 1Mbps @ I asked them to change mine to 1Mbps and reduce my monthly rental. The answer? Sorry, "New customers only!" It even says that in the small print at the bottom of their TV ad! And I thought the Nationwide BS ad was a joke!
So I migrated my account to Talk Talk, 1 Mbps @ / month, unlimited download, and, included in the price, they take over your landline telephone billing... calls guaranteed to be cheaper than BT (or Talk Talk will give you Â£1,000), free calls to all UK land lines at weekends and free calls to other Talk Talk users ALL the time!
The migration went through seamlessly, I just got a letter from Talk Talk telling me the new username and password, and I continued to use the original BT supplied modem. Didn't need to install anything new, not even software.
Some points though about broadband... (I've been in the Internet and Telecoms industry as a consultant for a while - to subsidise my main job!)... Broadband IS very fast most of the time, but it's not guaranteed. Equipment installed at your local exchange can only support a set number of users... if everybody is online at the same time, the bandwidth and therefore speed, is diluted. In the worst case, it can become slower than dial-up! However, that is rare.
As for download limits, it's a bit misleading.... 15 Gb limit for example... that is 15,000 Mb... the chances of your average user downloading that much in a month is very remote... you'd have to be downloading a lot of very big files... that's why people with download restrictions think it's not policed, the fact is it's unlikely they are getting anywhere near the limit!
On speed again... any connection is only as fast as the weakest link in the chain... i.e. you can only download as fast as the slowest of the two computers... the suppliing server and your own computer. Example: I downloaded some music files last night... I was connected at 1.1 Mbps, but the file transfer rate was barely above 128 kbps... still quick, as a 5 Mb file takes about 30 secs to dowload at that rate... but dictated by how fast the host server can deliver the file, NOT how fast the connection is! smile

View Post

9 Sep 2005

Hi... I found this forum while searching for nudist/naturist stuff... I'm maybe a bit late answering the question, but I CAN answer it!
First of all, I'm not into swinging, I just saw that there was an interest in nudism/naturism here. I'm looking for a female partner (preferbly a younger one) into nudism or naturism, perhaps even a bit of exhibitionism! biggrin

Ok, to answer the question.... it is OK to sunbathe nude at The Point of Ayr in North Wales... but with descretion. The way to find it is to find the Talacre holiday park, just off the A548, turn off at the roundabout and drive up to the beach car park. Then walk west along the beach away from the lighthouse. About quarter of a mile from the lighthouse, where the dunes are quite high, you can sunbathe nude in the dunes. However, you can't walk around nude on the beach or behind the dunes... there have been complaints from people using a path at the back of the dunes. There is a Warden who doesn't have a problem with discreet nude sunbathing in the dunes but will call the police if someone is blatantly walking around naked... there have been problems with flashers there.
Just up the road at Prestatyn there's a better option. Find Pontins, again just off the A548 (on the East side of Prestatyn), drive past Pontins along Barkby Avenue, there are two car parks at the top, one next to the mini golf course and one on the front. Park at either. Then either walk along the beach, or across the golf course and up onto the dune paths (there are wooden steps), heading East from about half a mile from the car park you can go nude. Some people still try to be discreet and hide in the dunes, but this beach, Barkby Beach, is known and and accepted (particularly by locals) as one used by Naturists. I have walked about freely in the nude and sunbathed both on the beach and in the dunes, with no problems. There have been complaints, but mainly from women out walking dogs who have been confronted by the occasionbal idoit intent causing offence by 'flashing'.. generally meaning that they stand there in the woman's way with an erection and often masturbate.
The majority of 'nudists' here seem to be single and/or gay men. There are occasionally couples and on rare occasions, single women. Most clothed people I have met on the beach have had no objection to nudity. This beach could do with more nude visitors, particularly couples and single women. It's a great beach... I have some photos of it if anyone wants to see them! :D

View Post

Forum