Kristof's Forum Posts | Swinging Heaven

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kristof

Over 90 days ago

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24 Mar 2005

very nice thread dave_Notts
I use both chat room (not as frequent at the moment as I would like) and forum, both have people that are unique to that venue. On the whole the people are the same with the same sort of humour and outlook but the change in the groundrules can make things seem different. the speed in the chatroom is amazing at trimes, even for somebody like myself who is used to IRC I find that the chatroom can move so fast its almost impossible to keep up without knowing a few tricks.
Only 2 things really tho are needed to enjoy your time in the chatroom, observation of the prime directive...." Never PM without asking first " , and knowing that you will likely lose track several times until you acclimatise to the speed of the room which changes wildly confused

confused

24 Mar 2005

:welcome: culum to :swingingchair: Heaven
nice to see that after 4 days you have grasped the basics here smile

smile

that bodes well for your future biggrin

biggrin

by the way, how are Dirk and Mai Mai ?? and is Breock still being a dumbass :P

23 Mar 2005

Quote by little gem
s'pose a shag is out of the question then?

well for you hun I will happily supply you with the needings :P
omg, I just done summat naughty, ole mattoon said we was only interested in what we could get for ourselves and heres me offering to give it away without expecting anything in return.
Does that make me wierder still then mattoon?, I sure hope so biggrin

biggrin

Now listen up you stupid peices of bovine excrement, I know its not nice to find that your momma only met your poppa the one time and that she charged him Â£50 as he was so ugly but offered to do the dog for free. It is not your fault that when the personalities were handed out that yours was dug out of the rear end of a himalayan yak that had died on constipation twenty years ago.
Now be a nice boy and get your tongue from inside your momma's ass cheeks and with some grace try to exit the building without falling, tripping or otherwise making a noise or mess
Alternatly, you could remain and continue to make us al feel so happy with your stupid jokes and remarks, its nice to know there is somebody out there who is even stupider that I am lol

lol

22 Mar 2005

Quote by Sexysteph
You say you are a single guy now how can we make you stand out a bit more!
How old are you?
What are you into?
Have you a sense of Humour?
Do you practice Safe Sex?
How tall are you?
What are you looking for? Man or Woman or general orgy? or would a single do?
What do you class as adult fun (naked twister perhaps on the tarmac of the bus station?)
Are you bi? Does the male of the couple need to be bi so he can suck your cock?
Are you looking for private meets or club activity. There are 2 clubs in Leicester tho if you have transport then the scene is your oyster with Chams and a few others in the west mids.
ohhhh and of course how big is yer cock the ladies do tend to like this sort of info.
Why not do an ad whilst you are about it with some pics?
Hope this helps you

askme Steph raised a few simple points here, check out my add and see how much info it gives without being boring, it manages to cover everything that Steph mentioned, and I link my siggie to my adds or vice versa.
I am a single guy also from Leicester who has been a memeber here for just 4 months, I have a great time meeting peoiple from this site, but then again, I idnt expect them to play Blind Date and gave them the information they needed to form an idea of who and what I am.
As with everything in life, it takes time, patience and a bit of effort on your part to become known, once you are known its amazing what can cum your way

21 Mar 2005

Quote by pb4u
I admit it can be hard(no pun)for single males on swinging sites,but as I am also in that category I can only advise you to stick at it as I have met quiet a few people off of here and have totally forgotten about the early days when it did seem like a good idea to leave the problem some single males have is they think all females should be throwing themselves at them.
Good luck.

nicely said mate, thats such a true thing as well, some guys believe they are gods gift, in truth its the lasses who are gods gift to us single guys ( or the devils torment anyway )
UKFisher if you are noticed be it for the right or the wrong reason plays a large role yes, but the main thing to remember is this, we like honest genuine people who behave like mature ( that dont mean being 50 either ) responsible adults, show yourself to fit that bill and even the wildest of humours is acceptable. I still consider myself a newbie here, even tho I am accepted to parties and meets, I have been lucky that my posts came over in a way that gave a good impression of me, after 4 months here I am proud to say I have been to 2 paties plus a munch/afters party and am invitited to several others already. The people here are the salt of the earth types, and I am honoured to have been accepted into the fold

21 Mar 2005

Satin, believe me when I say this
I would have been a caller myself seeing as I am very bi-curious, only 2 things stopped me
1, its a long dammed way to lancs for me
2, you and Blue scare the shit outa me
aint sure in which order I should have said it, fear or finace, finance or fear, fear or finance , ohhh ffs I cant decide

21 Mar 2005

Quote by DoctorP
ha, see you all in the Sir john for a pint later then?!
I used to drink in the Falcon, where the real Withnail hung out, very exciting, except he was an utter drunken fool.
You're best off getting out of Lenton, it'll be all those students that are causing the trouble

/me sobs as he sees another student basher raising his ugly head

21 Mar 2005

morning MikeC its good to see you didnt die out after your lack of rest :P

21 Mar 2005

wooooooohoooooooooooo Fresh Meat for the grinder biggrin

biggrin

:welcome; shortouse BlackStud and hornet harlot,
quote="PoloLady"]Run... run while you can... run for your life!
Once 'THEY' have you hooked, you'll never be able to get out again! Run before they take your sole and twist your mind. It is too late for me, but you still have a chance - save yourself wink

wink

well she is right aint ya PoloLady, but its already way to late for their poor soles - once they make their 1st post in the :swingingchair: Heaven version of the Twighlight Zone its always too late, all they can do is hope and pray, sp get down on your knees all and take it like real men and women................................................ moaning and groaning and screaming in joy lol

lol

:lol:

rotflmao

20 Mar 2005

Quote by bluexxx

hi bi guy here from south wales........im about a hour away ...please get in touch
:D :D :D

Trouble is, and correct me if I'm wrong, but I think they were looking to meet someone last night confused

confused

Dohhhh, Bliue ya drongo nope, cant correct you at all cuz as usual you are right
My excuse is that i am shagged out from Winchester and unable to read that close, just the sort of glaring cockup being made did jump out and smack me across the face

20 Mar 2005

a little peice of advice to all the guys learn to bloody read, it said BI-GUYS, not str8 guys ffs ]

20 Mar 2005

Quote by VenusnMars
Great introduction, and well thought out LMU post. I hope we see more of you in The Cafe.
Venusxxx

I have to agree, thats the most john blunt straight forward LMU Ii have seen so far, and all done without anything that could be considered offensive, or even annoying
:welcome: sport

20 Mar 2005

Voddy you bugger, Mr/Mrs SC, Mr/Mrs Olive, how do you manage to make these events so simple to enjoy, a great bunch of people to have a laught with, great atmosphere and generally a great location with helpful staff ( I wont tell you what it cost somebody to get the takeaway drinks authorised, but the manager had a massive grin once the price was paid )
MikeC I know what you mean about the noises all and we do mean all night, banging and squeaking noises that were only just drowned out by the sounds of people groaning and screaming out
Voddy why was you grinning so large today ??

19 Mar 2005

if your reading this you should be getting ready to head off and not surfing the site ( talk about the ketle calling the pot black ffs biggrin

biggrin

)

18 Mar 2005

:welcome: to you
Mr Monkeyin azoo
Suze43
LegoBabe
ok sexy swingers you as well in case I missed you when you joined biggrin

biggrin

18 Mar 2005

good luck mate, I am in the mi8ddle of it myself, I used the stop smoking service ( didnt have to go to group meetings just a one2one with a advisor at the chemist where I get my patches ) and the patches are great. Ok, had a relapse today and smoked 5 cigs, each one tastes like shit as well smile

smile

TJ your right hun, your senses of taste and smell are over 20 times more sensitive than a average smokers so you would smell/taste the difference ( thats what the advisor told me anyways )

18 Mar 2005

wave

hya Joanne
:welcome: to the halls of :swingingchair: Heaven.
Quick guided tour, to the left are the :cheers: , to the right you find the coffee

coffee

, around to the front you will see the smackbottom

smackbottom

towards the rear of the room is where the :taz: :yawn: and in the middle is where we are all busy :censored: :censored: :censored: :censored:
hope you enjoy your time here biggrin

biggrin

18 Mar 2005

Quote by Angel Chat
Give her all our best please!
xxxxx :inlove:

No need MrsGHC biggrin

biggrin

I'm home already!!...... they obviously didn't like my particular brand of Northern humour because they kicked me out today! :shock: :shock:
Thanks again for all your good wishes, and just a quick warning......... the doctor has signed me off for the next 8 week :shock: how many hours of potential posting is that? ;) :twisted: :lol2:
hehehee well hun thats 1384 hours of posting time, ok, as you have been ill we wont expect miracles, say 3 posts a hour 16 hours a day smile

smile

thats only a miserable 2688 posts
good to hear you are home tho, and seriously now, take care of yourself and get fit quick. Your chair is being kept warm by us so no worries of a cold rear end when you sit on it again :P

17 Mar 2005

rotflmao

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

smackbottom

:smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom:
:rascal: bolt

bolt

17 Mar 2005

mmmmmmmmmm
highly tempted steph I have to admit

17 Mar 2005

Quote by tallnhairy
Most of us for legalising it are for it to try and get rid of these pimps. They will always be around, all you can do is offer the girls a way out if they want to take it, and go for the pimps whenever you find them.

I am all for legalising prostitution, having lived in Holland and never having seen a streetwalker ( tell a lie, I did see one, she was picked up by the Politie and when checked was found to have recently had her permit or what ever they call it revoked until she had finished treatment for an STD )
I know a few working girls, I used to work as a driver/ emergency backup for one, some have pimps and simply could not live without their pimp, some would gladly leave the trade but for the pimp's veiled warnings. It shgould be the choice of the woman OR the man to enter into the trade if they wish to do so, in many counytries students finance their higher education by prostitution, once they have graduated and said goodbye to the trade no stigma follows them and thats how it should be. There will always be men willing to pay for sex, and always be men and women willing to provide the sex.
regulate it, give a safer protected envioroment to the workers
At the end of the day I always remember something that a working girl said to me " ALL women sell their bodies, those that are married or in relationships do it as well, they just dont get cash in return, they get company" While I dont really agree with that statement I decided I would include it due to the nature of the thread and the origin of the statement

17 Mar 2005

Quote by Vix
Go for it babe! Better to regret what you have done, than what you have not.
(PS: Grow the beard back)

what the gorgeous lady said
( dunno bout the beard tho )

17 Mar 2005

wave

lo three sammi
:welcome: to our world, sit down have a :beer: or mebbe several drinkies

drinkies

, seeing what Rache has shown you best expect the :swingingchair: Heaven whip

whip

carriers to be looking for you lol

lol

Great www as well :thumbup:
redface

redface

sorry, still think Rache is sexier innocent

innocent

16 Mar 2005

wave

add seems right ok to me, ok wish it was males you looked for but what the hell :welcome:
enjoy yourselves
and in truth yoy will probly have greater luck here on the forums that thru the adds, as here we really get to know each other and learn a lot more about a person than we can thru a add, its far easier to decide who is a genuine person here and not just a plonka (just like me redface

redface

)

16 Mar 2005

Quote by Sgt Bilko
Welcome to the mad house!! :wave: :wave:
Do I need to post an ad, or can I wait for a while?

Well I have been here for a while now and I have never had an ad!! :shock: :shock: :shock: lol

lol

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
I would wait if I were you wink

wink

:lol:
you put up an ad sarge and the rest of us guys mays as well pack our cocks away for the duration
then again...................................... who would want a boob stealer cummin around :P
probably everybody
/me goes off on a boob hunt biggrin

biggrin

escherchick :welcome: hun to the 1st place you will cum every day and the last place you will cum every night
:swingingchair: Heaven
sit back, relax have a drinkies

drinkies

/me produces a bottle of Baileys. We may seem :crazy: but we are a real kiss

kiss

crowd :D

16 Mar 2005

hya hun
hope you get everything sorted for Wishy
your both a real gen couple, a great laugh and in my opinion both of you are good looking
Guys, leave blonde alone ffs, let her just get things sorted
Girls, run this way to join the fun, they are just a perfect fun couple you can only have a great time smile

smile

15 Mar 2005

Quote by Alexandra
For one scary minute I read that as ....

'Welcome to Illuminati'!!!!!!!
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

lol
as a member of the Illuminati of NoS I find that amusing smile

smile

15 Mar 2005

Quote by Silk and Big G
Summat up there Sue , your ad doesnt show on the search

Sorry, but Ad #244706 does not exist now thats wierd because it did show up for me last night

14 Mar 2005

Quote by Lil_Bunny
Well after the weekends fun and games I decided to have a lazy day
Did the school run, got home, put the washing machine on and climbed back into my bed to chill out and watch some daytime television (not something I do often)
Just watched the Trisha show and it's made me realise how "normal" and hassle free my life really is!
They were screaming and shouting at each other, DNA tests were apparently part of the discussion too and some of the guests were obviously pretty troubled.
Are there any programmes that have the same effect on you?

ermmm, well the last time I saw daytime tv was about 2 years back, but seeing some of the stuff from adverts for trisha and others makes me glad I dont watch it
my life is fucked enough without getting new ideas on how to screw it up further :P

14 Mar 2005

only been to the 1 club myself G.O.E in leicester twice with SH people twice alone, and that sort of asttitude wouldnt be looked kindly on
Its like the old saying "most the really fit fuckers have shit for brains, the normal people can hold a conversation"
well it wasnt an old saying but it is now :P my apologioes to the really fit ladies here as I am not implying you have shit for brains....you wouldnt stil be here if you did biggrin

biggrin