Little__gem's Forum Posts | Swinging Heaven

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little__gem

Over 90 days ago

Bisexual Female, 43

0 miles · Greater Manchester

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6 Jan 2014

As a more serious kind of note... Sobriety is an achievement which should be celebrated if this is the choice someone takes. Especially if there is health implication or a life choice which could save their life. Those people who make that choice should be damn proud of themselves. It's not easy when there is an entire alcohol culture surrounding you.
I find it both fascinating and frustrating that nothing else is mocked in the same way as not drinking by some people. Like you're not human or not normal if you don't. It just wouldn't happen if it was... oh I don't know.... mushrooms for example! lol

lol

No-one would be all... Oh I'll munch on my really tasty mushroom in your honour seeing as you don't eat them!
Would they?
No, really, tell me they wouldn't! :lol: Mushroom mocking just sounds so icky! :uhoh:
Oh, and where is this 'Fanuary' thread... I have a forest here cultivating. I think small animals have started to nest and take up residence! ;) :lol:

5 Jan 2014

smile

Brilliant! Well done you for trying this, it's not as easy as it sounds! lol

lol

Good luck to all who are trying to do this, either because they want to for a bit of a detox or challenge, to raise money for the associated charity or those who are battling an addiction using it as an opportunity to make an important life choice.
kiss

kiss

Stick with it and if you slip, write it off, no beating yourselves up and get right back on it!
:rose:

5 Jan 2014

rotflmao

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Next they'll want to start a recycling centre or something.
Good greif! How very dare they!
:giggle:

2 Jan 2014

Quote by Too Hot
Daily Mail panic spreading again...
Surely it can't be right for a newspaper to simply make up stories as a means of spreading fear and hysteria?

The Daily Wail have been doing it for yeeeeears! lol

lol

Every move Cameron makes at the moment pushes people to look for an alternative and when in recessional times with tough choices presented with a sea of the same old, people will look for something different. It happened with BNP and EDL, until they won some seat majority in local government, they were soon land-slide voted out when nothing promised happened and constituents saw right through it all. It's just that UKIP are rather more savvy in gaining a main stream foothold than their more brutishly overt pre-predecessors.
Whether Dave likes it or not, he is playing into apathy or loss of votes for his party by potentially alienating voters from many directions and could see his party sink even further towards coveting liberal ideals to court the voting middle ground. A transparent set of lies and desperate pre-election set of promises to be broken will be paraded as policy, which will drive more people to seek an alternative.

LG. x

2 Jan 2014

My condolences to you Mrs. Two's. :therethere:
Do what you feel you want to and can manage on a day to day basis, the rest is a difficult enough situation without listening to critics.
Massive hugs. x x x
kiss

kiss

LG. x

2 Jan 2014

Quote by limousinguy2012
Its gotta be better than 2013, from a personal perspective of course

:thumbup: Understatement of the month that one... it's all got to be better than the last 6 months have been!
Life is so short, people are so very very precious and even in the darkest of days, know that somebody, somewhere loves and cares for you. Importantly, make the most of what and who you've got, while you've got them. Things can be replaced, but people can't. Take those opportunities and make the best of what is there. It's not easy, but it's worth it.
Friends are the family you choose for yourself, and even in the worst of hellish times last year, they've been my guiding lights, rocks and strength. Not out of the woods yet, but I will be, mainly thanks to their belief in me. :love:
:cheers:

drinkies

Here's to a happy 2014. :drinkies:
kiss

kiss

LG. x
Unashamedly sentimental. smile

smile

30 Dec 2013

No, it's not you NaughtyWigs, not at all. And if it is, then count me in among you.
It seems that people are just not as keen to value their anonymity nor have discretion at times, not to the standard I prefer anyway. I've recently looked at another website and was shocked at the level of casual indiscretion floating about. It takes all the fun out of things.
kiss

kiss

LG. x

25 Dec 2013

Quote by Villan_Brum
Ladies, do you prefer being undressed?

Now that would entirely depend on the situation. By a complete stranger, no I don't think so.

25 Dec 2013

Quote by
A beach party, full dress evening ball, masked party or just a drink at a pub?

Been to all of the above in my time using this site, and they were wonderful in their own way. However, I have to confess, it was probably more to do with the people than the venue or the event.
Endless planning before hand makes the biggest of differences though, and can really be felt in the outcome, making or breaking a good social into a spectacular memorable experience or one that leaves people feeling a bit limply lacklustre.
One social I wouldn't recommend however would be a canal boat social, just for pure planning involved, costs, logistics and numbers attending limitations.
Get the right people together, have the steadfast plans in place and the location doesn't matter one jot.
kiss

kiss

LG. x

23 Dec 2013

Now, there are separate questions rolled into all that... like how much do you enjoy sex? Do you NEED swinging in order to have a satisfying sex life? Would a relationship survive without it? How much do you invest in getting a meet? How much do you emotionally and personally invest/loose when you've been rejected/accepted? Why on earth have you signed your first post that is public with your full name? Does one need swinging in order to feel validated? At what point does something fun become an addiction?
I used to be really into this, done all sorts, been to all kinds of places, with all kinds of people. Literally completed a tick list and went back for more if it was a good experience while leaving it as ticked off if it wasn't. Felt like I'd purged the need and burned out really. The point when it becomes run of the mill and not exciting is very much the point I'd got to. Boring even! lol

lol

Yeah, boring. Bored of the same old places, the same old process, the same people at the same clubs... yawn-ville.
So, I stopped. No regrets. Still had a satisfying sex life and managed perfectly well without it.

23 Dec 2013

I like their face when the clothes come off to find a lovely pair of wash day grey spanx, priceless! ;)
:giggle:
LG. x

23 Dec 2013

:thumbup: Cubes, well said lad, well said. kiss

kiss

I have a friend (I know, a watcher with a friend, what ever next? Flying pigs?! GnV winning an online debate?! Mids being able to spell? Max not popping up when there is trouble brewing?! ;) lol

lol

) who laughs in my face and disagrees whole heartedly with the Dark Lord Moffet thing... thinks he is the best thing since sliced bread. (Wonder what the best thing was before sliced bread? Best thing since fresh bread? Best thing since being able to make bread? I digress. Again.) Anyway, I'll not forgive The Moff for missing an opportunity for Tom Baker to offer Matt Smith a jelly baby in the 50th anniversary episode.
I'm having a hibernation day today, recharging the batteries before tomorrow hits and I'm expected to look less than miserable. I wish I could re-capture that happiness and excitement but I just can't muster it at all. No tree up. No lights. Not sent the cards I've written. Meh.
:kiss: LG. x

23 Dec 2013

*crawls in under the bah humbug bridge*
Cosy in here, but can someone pass G some mints, it's a bit garlic-y in here! ;) lol

lol

Quote by Gerty35
fall asleep in front of the Dr Who special.

Fall asleep during the one thing that is actually worth watching on Crimbo day?!!!
:shock:
Madness! Absolute madness!
:lol:
I did very nearly melt a little of my misery half hour bah humbug with a bit of rucksack project and festive elf pictures I saw that made me smile. However, I then had forced joviality with people I don't like, forgotten gifts, the wrong gifts, folk wishing me a 'happy' Christmas and some conveniently pretending I never existed ever at all, which all kind of sucks.
Nope... roll on The Doctor regenerating and me screaming at the telly in protest Moffet's terrible script writing of late and tendency to let the plot slip sideways, with loose raggedy ends a plenty, in the hope of bending the rules of the game so much he should have understudied for a part as Voldemort. Wrong-er than a shop full of wrong things.
If all else fails; I shall be hibernating. In my onsie. Under a blanket.
bolt

bolt

23 Dec 2013

Philosophy according to Dr. Seuss....
“All alone! Whether you like it or not, alone is something you'll be quite a lot!”
“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...”
“Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before! What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!”
kiss

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LG. x

16 Dec 2013

Quote by MidsCouple24
We believe that more is learned by what is NOT written in a profile than what is written.

:giggle: Who knows what people would make of mine then if it's about what's not written! ;)
Generally profiles are usually hyped up hogwash with a sprinkle of yawn-ville and a dollop of hullabaloo. It's only one way to narrow any particular search and is no substitute for inter-personal chemistry, common sense or that 'something is not quite right' spider sense thingie-me-bob. smile

smile

But is a useful and sometimes amusing tool to find out how tidy someone's house is, what colour socks they wear and if their wall paper is hideous. ;) lol

lol

16 Dec 2013

M&S and sexy in the same sentence? An oxymoron, surely?

rotflmao

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: (I can't help thinking... if it aint baroque, don't fix it rolleyes

rolleyes

lol

)
I feel like I've been groped by a Marks & Spencer salesman in the middle of the store then handed a pair of sloggi knickers and sent to the back of the queue! (And not in a kinky, good, exciting way!). confused

confused

If my other half had presented me with ANY of them scraps of underwear he'd be on non-speaking terms, sent to the returns desk before his feet could touch the floor and if they couldn't take them back he'd be cleaning with windows with them. :? Mainly because sexy underwear for me does NOT include the words; padded, t-shirt, floral, push up, A-DD cup... would just about cover a nipple and it'd be a case of '4 breasts for the price of two' kind of look. Never attractive. Oh, how the list goes on...
:giggle:
LG. x

3 Dec 2013

Ah, look at you guys being all bah humbug!
Room under the bridge for one more? lol

lol

;)

3 Dec 2013

Cool, congrats and all that jazz! I already thought Woohoo was a mod... so there you go! redface

redface

Observant, as always eh. rolleyes

rolleyes

kiss

LG. x

1 Dec 2013

Quite a list there Joolz! lol

lol

I love Ikea. That lack of natural daylight and the inability to tell what time of day it is no matter how many times you look at your watch. It's like it's own little time zone where I am so glad the car parks are not timed! smile

smile

How they herd you around the store in a particular order, the bargain bins containing random flavours of candles, napkins and things you'll never use in a month of Sundays! Joy of joys! :)
There is something about this thread that is making me want to visit the places that people have listed. :lol:
kiss

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LG. x

1 Dec 2013

Quote by Cubes
<<< wonders if Gem is considering Fanuary 2014?
;)

rotflmao

It's Fanuary every month in this household right now! ;) :giggle:
kiss

kiss

LG. x

24 Nov 2013

Quote by MidsCouple24
Why only Gay men ? your thread, your perogative but just wondering why your only interested in the opinion of gay men and not straight or bi men who might enjoy the same passion for such things

At the risk of looking like I'm following you around the forums (I'm really not, I assure you! smile

smile

), I thought exactly the same thing! :lol:

24 Nov 2013

Good grief, reading this just makes me realise how much I don't miss this, at all! And to think I used to meet alone all the time for years before meeting and settling down. *shudders*
Some good advice in here already.
Here is some advice I wrote 'back in the day' for single women who meet (circa 2007). Some of it might not be appropriate for you as you're a couple, but take from it what you want/need. smile

smile

No point keeping it to myself, I think the person I wrote this for has since gone anyway? dunno

dunno

Quote by LittleGem trawling through the old posts and PM's presents
Little Gem's Guide For Single Women ....
"Warning! Serious advice ahoy!
I used to be a single female on the swinging scene and although I'm now part a couple, much of what I'm about to tell you will most likely still apply. I've only ever had three rubbish meets and a hell of a lot of good, well, I'll not talk about the ones that went well cos I'll be here for ages... and *coughs* discretion prevents!
Ok, are you ready for this...
There are different aspects of the scene to get involved with and not all bits suit all people. Some of the variety of situations can be: Swingers Clubs, Socials, Munches, Private Meets, House Parties, Dogging, Chatroom, Camming, Forum... etc.
You'll find out for yourself which bits you want and which parts you can live without because they're too much hassle/too many people/too few people/*insert any other reason here... Don't try to please everyone else, you can't please all the folk all the time... but without being too rude... well I believe in what goes around comes around.
* Decide what you are and are not prepared to do in any situation you're planning on getting into before you get there.
Ok, there will always be something that pops up that you might not have thought of, but don't be afraid to say no that time and go back to it on another meet.
These decisions apply to personal choices like whether you want to play safe sex with condoms and where, boundary based stuff like will/won't kiss etc and situational kinds of things too... For example... if you're going to a swinging party with friends and you want to explore boundaries with someone you trust this can be very different to say a swinging club night when you might have to have clearer boundaries so people don't push you too far outside your comfort zone unless you want that.
It's so you have an answer other than 'not sure/don't know' if you're asked what you're into, you can say straight off... I don't do anal... for example (I don't know if you do or don't, it's just a question I've been asked loads so know it comes up! ) That way people are less likely to take advantage of you... which brings me to my next point.
* No means no. Not maybe, not I'll think about it... NO. Be firm. If they don't stop then get up and walk away. This might be a little thing such as you say you don't want to kiss, they reply with a smart arse comment like 'well I do' and then try to kiss you. Tell them again your boundaries and if they move to break them again, don't be afraid to walk away. If they can't keep small boundaries like that, then you have to be mindful of what else they will disrespect later on. Remember, you're not a paid whore and you DON'T have to do what anyone else says. (including taking my shite advice! )
* If you're going to a swinging club, try not to rely on other people to get you there and home if you don't know them really well (or trust them). This is because you are then stuck with them for the rest of the night and some can think that picking you up and dropping you off is a ticket to a guaranteed shag. So, if things don't go well in their eyes, you could end up abandoned or sat in a club not wanting to be there.
* If possible, tell an open minded friend where you're going to and the name/username of the person. If not, then jot the date on a bit of paper somewhere easy to find should anything happen. If they're picking you up, note their car reg number too. You can never be too careful, not everyone is a 'nice person' and your safety has to be first priority.
Another way to do this is to phone someone as you're going out and let them know you're off out and you'll ring them when you're home. Give them a time scale so if they've not heard from you, they come looking for you. Just don't forget to phone them to say you're OK or you could end up with a Missing Person's file and the coppers on your doorstep charging you with wasting their time!
* Getting to know some people socially might be good for meeting folk in the scene who can give you some face to face advice. Might help you meet people in a relaxed non-play environment who you might want to play with at a later date, or even make a few friends to go clubbing with, socialise with etc... again up to you.
* Stay relatively sober until you know some people you can count on to look out for you impartially. Although it's really tempting to let loose and get really drunk at things, I'd say as a single female, I was sober most of the times just in case I had to keep my wits about me. I'm not saying it's a dangerous pass time with horrid people, but the minority could make your experience a terrible one if you've not got your head screwed on with some things, like people being pushy, letting folk do something you'd never have let them do if you were sober... etc... I'm sure you have plenty of common sense and after all, it's your choice.
* Don't be afraid to be fussy and relatively direct with the 'thanks but I'd rather not play with you at the moment' kind of things. Equally, be prepared to have someone say that to you too, it's not personal, it's not a comment on your worth as an attractive/unattractive human being... it's usually whether they/you are their/your type or not.
* If you're going to use them, carry your own condoms. I never trust a man I don't know with a condom, lessons learnt from horror stories of other people where condoms were old, out of date, kept in hot places, crumpled in pockets for years, holes in them, torn, pierced deliberately... etc. Plus if a moment, arises shall we say , and he doesn't have a condom, then you'll both be kicking yourselves. Extra brownie points are won for the guy having his own decent supply of them though! Shows respect for your wishes and himself with the rise of diseases and infections such as chlamydia and gonorrhoea on the rise too.
* Keep your own interests at heart because no matter how many 'friends' you make, not all of them will befriend you with pure intentions. Most will be genuine, heart-warming, lovely, salt of the earth type people who will help you out in anyway needed. Chances are they'll be as nervous as you sometimes so you can make allowances for that should you wish, although not infinitely in my opinion.
If you've got to the end of this and thought, 'wow! OMG I'm never going to swing... too many risks...' bear in mind that information is power and if you're aware of the risks before you get involved, then you might be more likely to better deal with things should they happen, if at all.
Good luck.
LG. x x x x "

kiss

LG. x

24 Nov 2013

Interesting prompt to a thread...
I knew I was attracted to women since I was a mid-teen and we got a new English teacher, who had the most phenomenal breasts, clever, witty, an edgy strong feminist personality and a love for Shakespeare. I was smitten. (Not to mention a balcony bra to die for hiding under a silky satin slightly see through off white blouse with pussycat bow. silly

silly

hwoar: ) I fapped off to thoughts of her and her gorgeous long haired rocker biker boyfriend kissing. redface

redface

So, really, when I finally became sexually active in my very late teens, it was no surprise that I ended up drunkenly with a couple of women in my twenties at uni, when I think back knowing what I know now.
The scene gave me the ability to accept that I have that aspect to myself, although I've never felt as straight as I do at the moment, I know that I'm quite comfy in my own skin in spite of recent events and emotional upheaval. However, even with my experiences I am not 'out', though I don't think anyone would be shocked if I did embrace lesbianism. smile

smile

I do find my sexuality is fluid and cyclical, although, lately it seems things have changed, so I wouldn't rush to label myself. That is one thing I have learned from the scene, labels don't always serve a good purpose.
kiss

kiss

LG. x

24 Nov 2013

Quote by lilnfil

rotflmao

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Oh dear! Is it wrong that I laughed at the bad joke?! lol

lol

Anyway, to answer the original question, I agree it would depend on compatibility. There is nothing less attractive if you're looking for a good long hard fuck than to find that is just not possible. And vice versa, that nothing is more disappointing than a 'wham bam' session when you were wanting a lot of sensual foreplay and not much more.
Communication and honesty would be the key; being honest with what you can offer, realistic with yourself and others to not put pressure on yourself, I guess. smile

smile

:) LG. x

24 Nov 2013

Reading this, I only just know the rule was removed. lol

lol

Not that I go in chatrooms much anyway.... Once a forumite, and all that tosh.
;)
And Godot... keep posting, when you've stopped being busy of course, I like reading what you have to say. New blood is always welcome (and will always put some noses out of place too of course, no-one really likes change and newbies can sometimes unsettle the roost).
One bit of advice though, don't lean on the 'I'm only a bloke' or 'us blokes have to do more work'. That is an unspoken given. Although there are more single women here than there used to be, there are also far more single blokes too. Manners always cost nothing and can get you most things, but a bit of occasional cheek can get your foot in the door.
smile

smile

LG. x

24 Nov 2013

I always find that with lit-erotica my imagination is rather more filthy than the text presented to me.
With a piece of text, that is written to excite, I am usually disappointed with the narrative and the build up to the event or the build up is brilliant, then the 'act' falls a bit flat and repetitive or is over far too soon for the amount of pre-empt involved.
Fifty shades was such a poorly written book in parts, in my opinion, due to it's repetitive nature and lack of flourishing language selection when describing things, especially the sex. Some of the ideas were good, an some of it quite accurate of dungeons I have frequented (lots of red PVC, leather and dark colours), however, it was rather lack-lustre.
Maybe I'm more of a visual erotic instead? I find that I loose my mojo quickly if the text isn't what I think it should be or veers off in the 'wrong' direction, where as with video, I can happily skip or fast forward the bits I don't find a turn on to the bits I do.
Just thought about listening to written erotica being read aloud in a sexy voice... I'm not sure where I'd stand with audio, I've never tried that. Hmmm, maybe something to consider?
kiss

kiss

LG. x

24 Nov 2013

Well... if you moustache... Mine is developing nicely thanks!
;)
lol

lol

Equal opportunities 'tash growing and all that jazz. :giggle:
One of my friends sent me an email with a picture attached saying:
"I hate when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their moustache and suddenly she's not your friend any more."
I did Movemeber the last couple of years, sticking on fake 'tashes last year and raised about 45 quid in the process as well as loads of awareness, and a good few laughs along the way. I had planned on doing it again this year, alas circumstances have prevailed against it... but next year...
smile

smile

kiss

LG. x

24 Nov 2013

Quote by Lizaleanrob
:lol:
great to see you posting gem xx

redface

Fang Q! :kiss: Been a while eh.

20 Nov 2013

The simple answer is; there are as many ways to use this site as there are active users making use of it. (If that makes sense). That depends on what you want as an outcome, what you're looking for.
If you want one 'wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am' type encounters then adverts, certain chatrooms, clubs meets, arranged meets, would be the way forward.
If you want a more 'friends with benefits' type encounters then using the forums, certain chat rooms, go to munches and socials or club meets, chat with people with no expectations showing your personality.
And learn to read signals. smile

smile

kiss

LG. x

20 Nov 2013

Slapton Sands
Well, the naturist beach in the middle of the bloody British "summertime" to be specific. It's somewhere Neil used to beg to go as he loved just laying there basking in the sun, pottering down to the sea and having a little swim before walking back up to chatter away to me or reading our books. Happy memories.
So, why is it one place that makes you feel miserable?
I shall tell you. Fear not, there are reasons. Damn good reasons (and not just because I miss Neil and it holds happy memories that make me cry to think we won't have them again)...
It's a bloody boulder beach, so no glamorous strolling up and down, no, it's more like lolloping, lob-sided while you collect stones in your shoes that you can't get rid of and then catching an unsuspecting toe on the side of a rock you didn't see while you were busy juggling wind breaks and trying not to loose to gravity totally as you just know I'd knock myself out then having to explain to our 'nillas why I was unconscious on the nudist beach. lol

lol

We're not talking Baywatch. Oh no, far from it.
The nudist area seems 10 million miles away from where you have to park the car and lug all the nuddie beach paraphernalia down to the best spot. It's out of the way, quite rightly, to protect innocent passers by from seeing me looking like something from a horror film, curled up, to try to prevent ships running off course due to the light bouncing from my highly reflective, and slightly blue tinged, body of exposed skin! *shivers* Brrrrrr! :lol: Apparently getting dressed is not in the spirit of things and isn't really allowed on nudist beaches. confused

confused

In all the bumper pack of stuff brought along there is never anything that accounts for the fact the nudists next door have a better bumper pack of stuff than you. We have a windbreak, a couple of beach mats, a cool box (not that this would have been needed, I'm sure my skin could have helped out), and a bag with bits n bobs in like a book to read, suncream (Ha! As if that's needed!) etc. The nudists next door turn up with a set of colour co-ordinating windbreaks, a mini tent, a wheely BBQ with attached chiller, a set of loungers with detachable pillows, some fairy lights to decorate their windbreaks and a chandelier for the posh tent.... and most importantly, a blanket for if it gets a bit chilly. So, what happens then is we have to go look for extra stuff to lug along the bouldery surface and end up with so much kit I feel like I am training to go into the army! :lol: And if you've dragged the things on the approximated 10 million mile hike away from the car, you have to get it back there too.
Oh, and then there are the peeping toms with binoculars in the hedge row bushes at the back of the beach. Great if you like that kind of thing and look a little bit handsome sprawled out, all bronzed, glowing on the pebbles, looking relaxed and feeling sexy. Not great if you're feeling like the 'Blue Man Show' might give you an audition for their next theatre tour, could cut glass with your nipples and can no longer wiggle the recently nearly broken toes to the point where you think they may have actually fallen off and provided a small mammal with a meal! :lol:
And then, it rains. :?
Bloody miserable!
Fun times. Yeah. Fun times indeed. :lol:
kiss

kiss

LG. x