LoL@dambuster,
funny guy
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martay
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 44
Forum
...................you got there before me!.HUH not bloody playing now!
I hope I am not wqrong, or else i look like a right plonker, but according to the rules, isnt this here a full house?
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewpost/182299.html#182299
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewpost/182299.html#182299
Welcome,
Please refrain from :bs:
remember, if ever you meet anyone, do it in a public place and dont lie about what you look like, or else :kick:
be yourself, make some friends and hopefully,
and, wait for it, dont be boring in your posts like one of those :borg: or else people will give you a
Please refrain from :bs:
remember, if ever you meet anyone, do it in a public place and dont lie about what you look like, or else :kick:
be yourself, make some friends and hopefully,
and, wait for it, dont be boring in your posts like one of those :borg: or else people will give you a
:bs: is a widely used expression, but I bet you didnt know that in the second world war british soldiers coined it there own with a unique meaning:
Excessive zeal, usually involving spit and polish, originally for ceremonial drill, but favoured on most occasions by such people as the Brigade of Guards. Usually shortened to Bull.
Excessive zeal, usually involving spit and polish, originally for ceremonial drill, but favoured on most occasions by such people as the Brigade of Guards. Usually shortened to Bull.
Pair of swingers, sat at home on a saturday night(no party invites that evening!), when all of a sudden a flying saucer lands in the back yard,
Aliens appear at the door with a magazine," we saw your advert in this contacts mag, so what do you reckon" says mr alien,
well, mr and mrs swinger look at eachother, and say, hey why not, so mrs goes off with the alien bloke, and mr goes off with the alien bird.
Mrs gets a look at alien blokes manhood, and says"it aint very big is it, its like an inch long!!" to which he swiftly rubs his nose, his knob grows and he says "hows that",
"well, its long but its really thin, like a pencil" says the mrs, to which the alien swiftly rubs his earlobe and it grows in girth emensly, and low and behold the mrs has a wild night of pasion and hard banging.
Next morning, mr and mrs swinger having a cuppa coffee, mrs says " I had a great shag last night, how bout you"
"nah she did nothing for me, just kept rubbing me earlobes and tweaking me nose!"
Aliens appear at the door with a magazine," we saw your advert in this contacts mag, so what do you reckon" says mr alien,
well, mr and mrs swinger look at eachother, and say, hey why not, so mrs goes off with the alien bloke, and mr goes off with the alien bird.
Mrs gets a look at alien blokes manhood, and says"it aint very big is it, its like an inch long!!" to which he swiftly rubs his nose, his knob grows and he says "hows that",
"well, its long but its really thin, like a pencil" says the mrs, to which the alien swiftly rubs his earlobe and it grows in girth emensly, and low and behold the mrs has a wild night of pasion and hard banging.
Next morning, mr and mrs swinger having a cuppa coffee, mrs says " I had a great shag last night, how bout you"
"nah she did nothing for me, just kept rubbing me earlobes and tweaking me nose!"
(and the odd smile)I got a couple, heres one,
A duck walks into a stockbrokers office and puts 500 bucks onto his desk
and says "I want to buy 500 bucks worth of Microsoft shares".
The stockbroker looks at him and says "But you're a duck".
Duck: "Yeah, I'm a duck, so what?"
Broker: "But you can talk"
Duck: "Yeah, I'm a duck and I can talk, what of it?"
Broker: "Where did you get 500 bucks?"
Duck: "See out the window, see that building site over there?
Broker: "Yes"
Duck: "Well I'm a bricklayer, and I get paid good money, so for the next 5
months I'll be coming back here to buy 500 bucks worth of shares weekly"
Broker: "Listen, I've got a friend who owns a circus, and I bet you he
would pay a lot more for you than what you're getting now"
Duck: "A circus? Correct me if I am wrong, but isn't a circus always
travelling to different towns?"
Broker: "Yep"
Duck: "And don't these circus people live in tents and caravans?'
Broker: "Yep"
Duck: "Then why the f*** would they need a bricklayer?"
A duck walks into a stockbrokers office and puts 500 bucks onto his desk
and says "I want to buy 500 bucks worth of Microsoft shares".
The stockbroker looks at him and says "But you're a duck".
Duck: "Yeah, I'm a duck, so what?"
Broker: "But you can talk"
Duck: "Yeah, I'm a duck and I can talk, what of it?"
Broker: "Where did you get 500 bucks?"
Duck: "See out the window, see that building site over there?
Broker: "Yes"
Duck: "Well I'm a bricklayer, and I get paid good money, so for the next 5
months I'll be coming back here to buy 500 bucks worth of shares weekly"
Broker: "Listen, I've got a friend who owns a circus, and I bet you he
would pay a lot more for you than what you're getting now"
Duck: "A circus? Correct me if I am wrong, but isn't a circus always
travelling to different towns?"
Broker: "Yep"
Duck: "And don't these circus people live in tents and caravans?'
Broker: "Yep"
Duck: "Then why the f*** would they need a bricklayer?"
