srilumpa's Profile

28 Jul 2005

Quote by Kit

Ah, that's where you are going wrong Sam - you are wearing the full uniform.
I hate seeing a bloke wearing any uniform
Now, if he is only wearing half the uniform, well, that's a different matter altogether :happy: :happy: :happy:

you mean like just the hat :twisted:
:rascal: :rascal: :smitten:
You got it lol

I was gonna ask which half to omit but I see I was beaten to it by that pervy* s&p.
*to be taken as a compliment

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28 Jul 2005

Happy birthday stranger.

Quote by Wishmaster
Have a great day!!! ....... only one way for a swinger to celebrate a b/day ......

Yep, have a party where everybody get out their birthday suit biggrin

.

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23 Jul 2005

Quote by SarfLondoner
So to paraphrase it's "Lies, Damned Lies and Statistics!"???
However, the point is; if we are in posession of all the facts, do you think we react disproportionately to some risks?

Definitely yes.
What are the odds, statistically speaking, to die of terrorism a compared of dying of an everyday activity like driving or drinking alcohol (that is, alcohol related accidents and illnesses, I'm not suggesting people drop dead after drinking alcohol)?
And despite the low risk how many people in England are more afraid of terrorists than of bad drivers?
I am not saying that they shouldn't be but I am saying that it is not a logical response, it is an emotional one based on the spectacular effect of bombs exploding, the rarity of it (whereas there are car accidents often enough for us to be blase unless it is quite spectacular) and the feeling that you cannot do anything if you are caught in a terrorist act whereas you feel more in control on the road.

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23 Jul 2005

Quote by Hamkins
Hey whereabouts in west sussex is it? Will there be any 'fun' taking place at the end?

Those invited will receive a PM with the location at the beginning of august.
As for "fun", don't try to come for that as it is a social event, not a meet (but the people coming are more likely to want to have fun with you if they like you in a social context I suppose).

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22 Jul 2005

Quote by little miss 2hot2handle
Oh and lumpa i'm sorry i dont have big boobs but i will still send u a hug :therethere:

That's alright, it is just a preference so that I can burrow my face deep in them when hugging (as I am small and we are talking about tall women here).
And if/when I meet you I will certainly collect on that hug... with interests. ;)
On a more general note I must say that what I like about this site is that there is a lot of activity in the forums.
On other sites where I go it seems their fora have much less traffic and most goes on in mails or through chat but through mail it is harder to get to know somebody (you might not know what to talk about) and chat is generally too fast and shallow (and poorly spelled) whereas here you can read people's thoughts and their jokes and get an idea of their personality and get to like them (or not) even before meeting them and it is easier to take part in it than in a chat where you might come in in the middle of a conversation an not know what it is about.
So there, I said it, while some might think that this forum is going downhill with too many crap posts (I can't comment, I'm too new to see a difference, I just hope I am not adding too much to that tendency sad

) I think that it is a happy medium between the fast paced/shallow conversation that tends to go on in chats (the SH chat might be different but I haven't been there yet) and the slow paced, "don't know what to say cause I don't know you except I would like to fuck you cause you're hot" emails.

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22 Jul 2005

Quote by goodlad1
Well, My wife has often said that she'd like to see me suck a guy off. Now I wouldn't normally go for this, but then I think If i were to ask her to either do another guy or a female and she said no, what would that make me out to be,, lol

Why don't you tell her to find a bi guy and then you both suck him off.
That way if you can't do it she is here to make it worth his while and if you find out you like it then you're definitely going to make it worth his while ;).

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22 Jul 2005

Quote by Chief moo
what was bothering her so much which was her height she's 6"4+ and was from an early age.

Well, I come from the other end as I always was a smaller guys than my classmates and they could be very harsh (though size was one of the lesser problems I had then) and hurtful if you don't put up defences (which I had to do at around 11-12) around your feelings. Since then I am just myself and either people accept me for who I am and we are friends or they don't and I just avoid talking to them more than necessary (but keep nice when I have to, no need to antagonise them).
Anyway, while I enjoy petite women I must say that very tall women are a definite turn on, more so if the lady in question is busty and willing to hug poor little me :therethere:. biggrin

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22 Jul 2005

Quote by 3someinpreston
Hitler...
No reason why to type that; just thought it was time for Godwins Law to take effect!
L x

Sorry, got to invoke Quirk's exception:
Intentional invocation of this so-called "Nazi Clause" is ineffectual.
As for us all being individuals it always remind me of Life of Brian:
Brian: You are all individuals!
Crowd: YES, YES, WE ARE ALL INDIVIDUALS!
Brian: You are all different!
Crowd: YES, WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT!
Lone Voice: I'm not!
Person next to him: SHH!

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21 Jul 2005

Naughtynymphos1, just saw you post and I must say "ouch". It makes a good cautionary tale for why a first meeting in a public place is better (regardless of the race/nationality/creed/gender of the person you are meeting) in case you don't like the person you meet (I suppose you know it now but it's a good example for those that might be wondering why meet in public first).

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21 Jul 2005

Congrat to Mrs Cisco, as she his the one who did all the hard work.
Aww, all right, Congrat to Mr Cisco too, though I don't know if having fun and waiting 9 months for others to do the work really asks for that biggrin

so let's say congrat in advance for all the help you will give your wife in changing the nappies and getting up in the middle of the night and... whatever other stuff it is parents do.

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21 Jul 2005

Quote by x-man0223
I'm meeting the producer tonight who has already seen footage of me :mrgreen: to discuss two projects :bounce: :taz:
Oh and they found me on my naughty site lol

I'd like to find that naughty site
i think that is what we are all thinking
Yeah, that and the name of the movie(s) when they come out.

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21 Jul 2005

Quote by Mister_Discreet
Oral sex without a condom.

It's also sometime referred to as OWO (Oral WithOut ) just in case you were wondering about that too.

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20 Jul 2005

Quote by gingerjo-lee
i want this to happen with a few shags for me not jsut a wank

I guess most (all?) guys would rather shag you and debz than be wanked by the both of you and if none of them wants then they really and truly are a bunch a wankers biggrin

.
The question though is, if there are girls getting shagged is it really a wank club? Sounds more like a bukkake/gangbang party in the making to me (not that there is anything wrong with that).

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19 Jul 2005

Quote by Norwich DJ
I have briefly tried it and it works... you could have competitions for:
1. Who can cum in the fewest 'strokes'
2. who can do the most 'stokes' in a minute
3. the first one to hit 1000 'strokes'

I think the ladies might be interested to know who is at the bottom of the first list.

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19 Jul 2005

Quote by R loves S
Any folks definately decided to camp yet?
Any folks thinking of camping?

Don't know. It definitely looks much cheaper and camping can be good fun if the weather is right but I don't have a tent so the price should be similar for me, I don't trust English weather too much (an certainly not a month in advance) and I suspect that after a day of being fired at and plenty of bruises I might want to sleep in a soft bed rather than on the hard ground (or soggy ground if it rains).
Though as it is a social occasion if a lot of people plan to go camping I'll do the lemming thing and commit suicide with them biggrin

.

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18 Jul 2005

Quote by Libra+Love
and then there is the FFM kinda scenario too... I've yet to meet a man who stops to change condoms when changing pussies in 3-way play :shock:

Haven't had the luck of it but have been giving it some thought already (always be ready) and I was wondering if female condoms like femidoms wouldn't be better in such a situation as they remain in the vaginas/rectums and the lucky guy can go from one condom to another as he changes orifices.
Of course there is the risk of the penis going between the female condom and the vaginal/rectal wall and it wouldn't help if there were many women and many men going back and fro but still, it does solve this (MFF) particular situation.
So to resume:
MF/MM: either type
MMF: male condom (but needs changing when going A to V).
FFM: female condoms.
orgy: lots of condom swapping when changing partner/orifice.

Quote by Libra+Love
I bought 100 condoms on ebay for Â£4. They came from Thailand but seem to be just a little too snug for my men
Anybody want them?...free

Find somebody with big hands and he can use them to protect his fingers when he has a cut there... or you can draw stuff on them and use them as finger puppets.
If you go back on ebay and buy some of the type dropped by th American army during the Vietnam war save some for me (says the deluded git biggrin

:D:D).

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18 Jul 2005

Quote by VenusnMars
and those few who couldn't make it last Sunday we hope! :P
Venusxxx

I'm not working on Sat 6th August, may I come and have the pleasure to meet a few southern SH members?

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18 Jul 2005

Quote by Mr Ben and friends
Wow. What a knowledgable post.
Thanks. I'll take a look.

Don't know if I like being identified as such though smile

Quote by 3someinpreston
If you get the balance between not looking cheap, not looking arty, and at all costs avoiding a storyline that takes itself seriously - ur in business.

Hmm, it reminds me of a porn film I saw a few years ago, called "Le Point Q" (Q sounds like Cul in French, which means Ass so you would translate it as "The A spot" or someting).
The story is not serious as it is about a doctor learning from a dying patient of a surefire way to make women come to a shrieking orgasm (literally, they scream like banshees in the movie) by using a spot, called the "Q" spot, located inside their ass. The doctor then of course proceeds to use it to "cure" some of his female patients (after some experimentation with his nurse)...
The story is therefore no taking itself seriously but there is one (sort of), it is not especially arty though it is well filmed and it is not cheap either with "real sets" (office, conference room... not just a warehouse, a sofa and a girl like the lowest gonzos) and the girls are good looking while still looking like the kind of girl that you might see in a club. In brief ( lol

word for word translation of "en bref" or "in short") a nice movie that entertains in more way than one... ok, now I have to go and find it.

Quote by Libra+Love
:roll: No longer a reporter, but thanks for that.

You see, he was talking about reporters in general and your egocentrical nature couldn't help but make it about you. :lol: :lol: :lol: :wink:

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18 Jul 2005

Quote by bluexxx
Hummm..... I would have drowned once if some kind soul didn't jump in and get me out. It taught me one thing... water is EVIL, EVIL, EVIL...... it looks at me funny even now....... NEVER TRUST WATER!
:eeek:

I guess you're not into watersports then? biggrin

:D :D
As for G&H and death, have you ever heard the saying:
"Don't take life too seriously; you won't get out of it alive"
Elbert Hubbard

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18 Jul 2005

Quote by Mr Ben and friends
Porns sucks don't it.

I wish it did ;)

Quote by Mr Ben and friends
I don't want to see some girl faking and moaning as if shes having a great time whilst some ugly beasts spits on her arse and tries to rip it open. Are these people catering for the masses or just south american red-necks. Surely the people of Britain aren't into this kind of crap.

Then avoid like hell any movie made by/with Rocco Siffredi or Emmanuel Ferrara (there are lots more "brand names" of course but these are the only I can vouchsafe from personal experience).

Quote by Mr Ben and friends
WHere's the porn with good cinematography, a funky soundtrack, modern music, real hedonism, i'm not asking for tame, I'm asking for good. Where's something showing the sexiness, the subtle touches, the chills up the spine, the back-arching, spine tingling feel of an approaching orgasm, the sudden in-take of breath when a cock slides deep in and throbs. Where's the FUCKING passion.

I like porn made by Private in general, especially Pierre Woodman (I am not sure you would like his non-storied movies but try to watch The Pyramids or Tatiana or Madness) and Antonio Adamo (very aesthetic way of filming I think with nice background music).
If you do not care whether you understand the dialogue I strongly recommend VMD (Video Marc Dorcel). He likes fine lingerie and beautiful women in his movies and the few I was lucky to see (whether directed by him or produced by his label) where excellent (I could only se them in black and white because they were French videotapes in Secam, so coming in black and white on a pal only tv but all the english guys that saw them loved them despite that. Luckily in DVD they are in colour).
The current top director in France is Herve Bodilis (working for VMD) who makes two very good series "Pornochic" and "Russian Institute". Again, extremely aesthetic. I have only seen one Russian Institue movie and part of a pornochic one but I can only recommend.
To resume, would you like their porn?: Woodman, maybe. Adamo, Dorcel and Bodilis almost certainly.
I hope this helps.

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18 Jul 2005

Quote by bluexxx
A few percentages.... is that it? :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: Bloody hell I got excited for a moment or two there, but Dawn is right, I definately need that cold shower...... :roll:

Are you a man or a mouse, jeeez, use PROPER HARD stats

Is it only Stats in particular that get you like that or is it math in general?
If it is only stats I would very much like to show you the standard deviation of my bell "curve" but if it is math in general we can start earlier so I can show you the rate of change of my natural log and finish later so I can be your derivative.

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17 Jul 2005

Hi everybody,
It's my first time posting a new topic here so I hope I don't break any etiquette.
I'm a 25 years old male living in Southsea, Portsmouth and I was wondering if there were any female swingers or couples interested in males wanting to have a pint or two somewhere in Portsmouth to meet me and see if they like my company and would like more of it another time (or just after the drink but let's not get my hopes up just yet smile

).
I suppose I should say something about myself to raise people's interest but I can't think of anything that is both short enough not to make people nod off and long enough not to be so general as to not be useful as a way to express myself so I will just say that I am always looking to expand my knowledge and I do consider myself strange (not in a creepy way, more in an intriguing way) mostly because it frees me to do what I want to do. If I do consider myself strange or weird I do not have to worry about people thinking that I am if I try something unusual. For example a few years ago I read a book upside down just to see if I could get through it that way... and yes, I do get sometimes introduced by friends from that period with an added "...and he reads books upside down" :):):)
I probably should say that I am getting married... no, not really, but a Polish girl at work told me yesterday "I gave you my hand" instead of "a" hand so I teased her about it today (with her saying not to tell her boyfriend that we were getting "married").
So if you would like to meet a nice guy that likes to keep his life simple (that's the secret to my happiness) and lives in Portsmouth why not PM me or mail me?
If you are interested in meeting me but cannot this weekend (or didn't see thethread in time) or can't come to Portsmouth but can accommodate mail/PM me anyway just to make contact and we can talk about when/where to meet (the furthest from Portsmouth the more difficult for me and the furthest from a train station the hardest too as do not have a car).
Well, I hope that I will meet some of you SHM (Swinging Heaven Members, not Sexy Hot Males ;) or it would be SHF or SHW) in the coming weeks/months either as a result of this post, at a club or at a munch (haven't applied to one yet as I am quite new here).
Happy swinging everyone.

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17 Jul 2005

Hi,
I would be interested to come but first I have a few questions that need answering:
Is the Paintballing site nearby a trainstation or trainstation+bus (near enough to come by bus/taxi without paying as much for it as for the day?
Alternatively if it is not possible that way (train+bus/taxi) is there somebody that can give me a lift rom either around south hampshire/west sussex (Portsmouth or anywhere in hampshire where I an go by train) or from a train station on their way to the site?
About how much should I plan for for staying in the evening (range of price expected if definite evening stayover place not found yet).
Well, that's all I can think of for now, that and bringing some baggy trousers :
...
Lots of girls and lots of boys
Lots of smells and lots of noise
Playing football paintball in the park
Kicking pushbikes* Licking :censored: after dark
...
*couldn't find out how to strike text out with BBCode as and doesn't work on this forum.

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15 Jul 2005

Quote by tanglewood72
ok, i'm afraid due to circumstances beyond my control i can't continue arranging this get-together - so for now this one is cancelled
hopefully this will only be a postponement, but for now i'm just going to have to bow out - my apologies to everyone :(:(
Ian
(not a happy bunny at all)

Damn! I just saw this thread and got all excited that a munch on my doorstep might happen and that with a bit of luck I might get invited, I finish reading the thread and... it's cancelled.
Damn you Tanglewood, you can't just get people's hopes up and then play with their emotions like that :srilumpa goes crying in the corner:
I won't propose to organise one as I am new here and nobody knows me and I read the munch page but if somebody else wants to organise one I might be able to lend my place on a sunny weekend (there is a lawn outside my basement flat). The only catch I can think of is that my landlord lives upstairs from me and has children (youngest is a 14 year old daughter) so as long as there aren't too many people 10-15 seems right and they don't yell obscenities it should be allright (an ex-flatmate had organised a BBQ once with at least a dozen people and it went quite well).
So if somebody wants to organise a social event to meet fellow SH members in the south central contact me and I can send you a few pictures of the place so you can see if it is worth checking out in person as a potential munch site (the advantage is that there is my flat just there if it rains and I have quite a big lounge).

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15 Jul 2005

Quote by VenusnMars
We are available for a social drink on Sunday afternoon. We both drink, smoke and swear, so if you expect civilised, then please don't respond. :mrgreen:
Venusxxx

I would have loved to come and meet you but I am working this weekend (I work in Selsey) and I finish at 7:30PM (all tired and sweaty) so I will have to pass this time but I am off the following weekend and do not have anything planned if you want to (and can, are you in Chichester just for the weekend or do you leave around there?) meet over a pint or two on the weekend of the 23/24.

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14 Jul 2005

Quote by Dino.
hmm , think i`ll get one of them for hornyred , do they do em in "see thru when wet" material ?

What for? It is already in a see through when dry lack-of-material.

Quote by Ch33k3y monk3h
Nice swimsuit, although couldnt see myself in it not enough room for my balls

Yo want to be careful how you phrase that, you seem to imply that there is enough place for you penis.

Quote by Drifter
This is even more revealing than Wicked Weasel bikinis.

Any piccie links to make a comparison.. please. :D:D:D:D

Quote by Drifter
I am not sure what would happen if she actually tried to swim in it

Given the apparent tension between the boobs and the clit (was gonna say crotch but it doesn't cover enough of it for it to be accurate) I would say that any repeated motion lifting the shoulders and increasing the tension has a high potential to make her cum.

Quote by Manolishi
:crazy:
Oi you lot - stop looking so long at the pic and answer the bloody question!!!

I would have to guess it would be illegal on any UK beach.
Too little covering for normal beaches.
Too much covering for nude beaches.

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14 Jul 2005

Thanks for the laugh, it had bee a while since I last looked up that classic (attributed to either Mark Twain or M.J. Shields depending on who you ask).
If anyone want to see the original google for "plan for the improvement of english spelling".

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14 Jul 2005

Quote by MISSCHIEF
Flippin eck :shock:
ime loggin out, gotta do sumfin :eeek:

Quote by marktheminx
right carry on :smoke:

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Woweee it was me and my dirty talk that done it, wasn't it huh huh? :smug:
Yeah, but the funniest part of the joke is the logout and logging back in timestamp:
logout 7:18PM
login 7:19PM
Now that says a lot about your efficacy... or is it about marktheminx that it says a lot about lol

.

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11 Jul 2005

Quote by Libra+Love
My 10 year old was kind enough to share this with me so thought I'd share with you :mrgreen:
Get shooting
My highest score so far 44

Hmm, being french I was gonna complain about this blatant display of xenophobia in an area and age where our two countries have been at peace for such a long time but when I saw which frog it was I couldn't help but join in the fun.
91metres. Too bad I've got to go to work.
Die, die , die Crazy Frog!!! mad

:foaming at the mouth: :x
lol

:lol: :lol:

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10 Jul 2005

Quote by Nicola&Alan
but you will still let women have shaving rash and ingrown hairs?!? not fair!

What? No! You misunderstood me.
I am personally natural down there. I prefer a meat pie to a bush but because of shaving rashes and ingrown hairs I think that trimming is a good compromise.
Now you're gonna say it's still not fair because I don't trim myself. However I generally do not demand of people to do things that I would not be prepared to do myself* so I wouldn't insist on a woman being shaven because I believe that an ingrown hair down there has got to be much worse than on your face/throat.
But if I found myself turned off by a copious amount of it I would consider** asking to trim it (a trimming or shaving session could also be incorporated into foreplay) because I wouldn't mind trimming my hair if somebody asked me (as long as I have a pair of scissors handy) and because if I am too turned off it reduces the amount of pleasure we can have.
It's a bit like boobs, I like big boobs but I wouldn't ask a woman to change hers because a bigger, heavier chest could give her back problems (if big enough of course) and I would rather her be a little happier all the time (due to lack of back pain) than me being happier some of the time (when I play with them).
In general I try to be a nice guy so I try to think of the pros and cons for all parties. Unfortunately in the mainstream world it tends to make me be passed over in favour of "bad boys" because heh, not caring about others feelings mean you're in charge, you're the man, dude (yeah, right).
I hope this clears the misunderstanding, I am definitely NOT in favor of shaving rashes or ingrown hair down there, it probably would turn me off even more than a tuft of hair.
*generally because I ask to penetrate them while I am not sure if I would want them to do it to me ;)
** only consider because I wouldn't feel right asking that of a near total stranger.

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