Quote by Nomad_Soul
Mine are just Cock and Bollocks........
What a great name for a pub .......:lol: :lol:
You get a lovely pint down the Cock and Bollocks. Nice head on it.
Can I get a job on The Graham Norton Show now?
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A tip for watersports lovers - buy tickets for next year's T in the Park festival. Not something I'm into but if you are you cant turn anywhere without someone pissing in the open.
This year I saw the 2nd most unsexiest sight ever at a festival. I was relieving myself at the urinals when a girl of about 18 walked in, drunkenly stared at my crotch then dropped her jeans and had a piss in front of me. Halfway through she lost her balance and fell over. I calmy zipped up as she lay half naked, muff on view to the world, lying in piss-sodden grass without a care. Lovely. Thankfully her friend walked in and tried to get her up as I was leaving.
Unsexiest sight ever was last year's T in the Park - actually saw a woman laying fast asleep who had pissed herself - her crotch was just one wet patch. Not only that but her false teeth were laying on the grass next to her mouth.
Anybody beat that?
This year I saw the 2nd most unsexiest sight ever at a festival. I was relieving myself at the urinals when a girl of about 18 walked in, drunkenly stared at my crotch then dropped her jeans and had a piss in front of me. Halfway through she lost her balance and fell over. I calmy zipped up as she lay half naked, muff on view to the world, lying in piss-sodden grass without a care. Lovely. Thankfully her friend walked in and tried to get her up as I was leaving.
Unsexiest sight ever was last year's T in the Park - actually saw a woman laying fast asleep who had pissed herself - her crotch was just one wet patch. Not only that but her false teeth were laying on the grass next to her mouth.
Anybody beat that?
Girls, I need my medication. Some good old fashioned sweet lovin' and the odd bed bath thrown in. This 34 year old male needs some care and attention after a long illness (otherwise known as a marriage break-up). In return he can offer affection, laughs, a helluva massage and a 7.5" long and thick injection of the sweetest medication.
Christ, how corny does this all sound?
I may have lost my mind - help me find it back.
Couples also welcome.
I can accommodate - the surgery is always open.
The Good Doctor
Christ, how corny does this all sound?
I may have lost my mind - help me find it back.
Couples also welcome.
I can accommodate - the surgery is always open.
The Good Doctor
If I had a hat I'd take it off to you all - anybody that can maintain erection whilst Clannad, Enigma or Dire Straits are playing deserves respect. Zzzzzzzzz.....they are all so dull you could fall asleep.
If ever I have doubts about my strength of character I always remind myself of an ex who used to play UB40 whilst we were getting 'intimate'. If I can keep it going to that white reggae trash I can do anything.
Personally, I like to stick on An Evening Of Contemporary Sitar Music by Spacemen 3. There's no sitar music in it but it It lasts for 45 minutes. 30 seconds of sex, 44 and half minutes of listening pleasure
If ever I have doubts about my strength of character I always remind myself of an ex who used to play UB40 whilst we were getting 'intimate'. If I can keep it going to that white reggae trash I can do anything.
Personally, I like to stick on An Evening Of Contemporary Sitar Music by Spacemen 3. There's no sitar music in it but it It lasts for 45 minutes. 30 seconds of sex, 44 and half minutes of listening pleasure
Quote by bartfarst
My neighbours are in their 70's so not much of that!! would it be wrong to get exited if i did??????????
My neighbours are in their 70s too and I've never heard them at it thankfully. But the woman has recently started hanging her big white knickers out the washing line. I am tempted to steal them as a joke (honest guv) but would probably get caught and end up in the local paper.
A friend of mine was stalked by some guy she'd never actually said 'hello' to. He used to follow her around. The police said they couldn't do anything. Then last year it escalated. At the end of every month he used to tip a family sized tin of baked beans all over her car and leave the tin on the roof. This happened for five or six months until the police videod (is that a word?) him doing it and managed to put a restriction order on him. It all seems pretty funny but she was terrified.
You have to wonder what goes thru their minds. What a waste of energy and what a waste of baked beans.
She pointed him out to me on the mains street once - he was in his fifties and looked totally normal. Strange.
You have to wonder what goes thru their minds. What a waste of energy and what a waste of baked beans.
She pointed him out to me on the mains street once - he was in his fifties and looked totally normal. Strange.
Hi folks. Newly divorced and haven't been on the pull for 15 years - any tips? Especially from the ladies out there? I've tried hanging about the supermarket vegetable aisle suggestively fondling cucumbers - no success (unless you count the 89 year old granny who sexily shoved me out of the way ). Should I fondle other vegetables? Or try another location? I'm all ears guys - my masturbation technique is almost perfected but getting slightly tiresome 
). Should I fondle other vegetables? Or try another location? I'm all ears guys - my masturbation technique is almost perfected but getting slightly tiresome 
Hi folks. Have been on this site a few times over the last few months and I am starting to get worried. I keep searching through the photo ads and, instead of being turned on, I find myself bursting into fits of laughter. Do people realise what they are writing or are they so sexed up their brain doesnt function? One ad today - "W/E thick male" - probably posted by a professor or somebody. Also "Do not reply if you are a hairy CD" - I was in tears after that one.
Can we have some ads that are intentionally funny and sexy? I have seen some and they aways seem to be posted by women. Us guys obviously lose our sense of humour with an erection.
Hairy CDs need not reply to this
Can we have some ads that are intentionally funny and sexy? I have seen some and they aways seem to be posted by women. Us guys obviously lose our sense of humour with an erection.
Hairy CDs need not reply to this
I'm new to this site and probably totally niave - but I thought swinging was all about being free from all those normal constraints in society - age, colour, race and sexual orientation shouldn't really matter - so having a separate section seems a contradiction?
As for the red hair comment - cant agree more. I shave mine off
As for the red hair comment - cant agree more. I shave mine off
