Quote by KitKat
And your marbles are .....?
That was close, I'll have to think about that?.... tell you tomorrow.
missed me
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"WHAT, what are you looking at me for, I don't know where it is" 
"Its got to be somewhere, have you seen it"
"No"
"Well who's got it then"
" I don't know I ain't"
"well who was last to use it" :fuckinghell:
"Bugs feeking Bunny, how do I know. Have you looked under the sofa" :giggle:
"Hang on I'll check up me ass, I might have poked it up there"
Just one of the many fond and friendly chats we have about the TV remote control. :boxing:
Where's the most bizarre place your lost item turned up. Mother-in-laws false teeth, Spain, fell into S suitcase. She had to suck her nuts for a fortnight ( mother-in-law)
Must be related to Mr Muttleys clan, or is that breed..2nd :thumbup:
Here they come, got to go :sparring:
"Its got to be somewhere, have you seen it"
"No"
"Well who's got it then"
" I don't know I ain't"
"well who was last to use it" :fuckinghell:
"Bugs feeking Bunny, how do I know. Have you looked under the sofa" :giggle:
"Hang on I'll check up me ass, I might have poked it up there"
Just one of the many fond and friendly chats we have about the TV remote control. :boxing:
Where's the most bizarre place your lost item turned up. Mother-in-laws false teeth, Spain, fell into S suitcase. She had to suck her nuts for a fortnight ( mother-in-law)
Must be related to Mr Muttleys clan, or is that breed..2nd :thumbup:
Here they come, got to go :sparring:
Your'll never walk alone, Gerry & the pacemakers.
Bridge over troubled waters, S & G
Nothing compares 2 u, Sinead O'connor
He ain't my brother, Hollies
Ben.
Flo flo I love you so especially in your nightie, when the moonlight flits across your tits oh jesus christ almighty. Flo's thrupennies were very nice....
:(
Got to go here comes the jailer,
hwoar:
Bridge over troubled waters, S & G
Nothing compares 2 u, Sinead O'connor
He ain't my brother, Hollies
Ben.
Flo flo I love you so especially in your nightie, when the moonlight flits across your tits oh jesus christ almighty. Flo's thrupennies were very nice....
:( Got to go here comes the jailer,
hwoar: 
Quote by Reese
Reese, it's for you!:lol:
You rang? It appears as if I've developed a reputation here...
...mind you, I'm not the only one from the site who engages in this particular perversion.Quote by tallnhairy
I just wonder if you would lose a lot from the position you would need to be in to do it?
Depends on the position, really. I find that if you lie on your back and curl your toes up under the headboard, you can use the leverage provided to thrust into your mouth and just inhale on every upstroke! ;)
~Reese!
P.S. Oh, and despite what some people think, it's still far more pleasurable to have someone else do it for you. :P
A master eh,
Do you give LESSONS if so, have you a location-times/dates.
Are lessons single, group?? (sight for sore eyes)
EQUIPMENT
Obviously a sturdy headboard and flexible toes are required, but where would one find a suitably strong bed. Sleepezee, Slumberland, Ikea????
PRACTICAL
Does private medical insurance cover injuries sustained practising autofellatio. Or do you need to pay a premium.
Finally does it hasten blindness......
Must go now the key jangler's coming. :bounce:
As number 2 seems to be a reluctant topic of discussion at the moment, combined with childhood memories-Where did you come from, (gooseberry bush). A very dark secret from long ago surfaced from my murky mind.
I have only ever shared this dirty deed with the thread of my life S. Well here we go, excuse the excuses.
I was young, it was dark, I was scared, the toilet was outside, there were spiders, I was ill, I shat the bed. My dad was big, very big, an eastend docker, in his world there were no mistakes!! Everybody feared his temper, and I do mean everybody.
I was panicking, what could I do? There was only one solution. Just how or why my little mind resolved my dilemma in this way, I have no idea.(No-I didn't attempt eating it) :shock:
I carefully picked up my no.2, sneaked over to my brothers bed, gently lifted his blankets and tossed it in with him.
No more
Well there you have it. Being young helps me to forgive myself (only 18 lol) I was 5/6.
So whats your childhood secret, we know you have one.
S&K.......
I have only ever shared this dirty deed with the thread of my life S. Well here we go, excuse the excuses.
I was young, it was dark, I was scared, the toilet was outside, there were spiders, I was ill, I shat the bed. My dad was big, very big, an eastend docker, in his world there were no mistakes!! Everybody feared his temper, and I do mean everybody.
I was panicking, what could I do? There was only one solution. Just how or why my little mind resolved my dilemma in this way, I have no idea.(No-I didn't attempt eating it) :shock:
I carefully picked up my no.2, sneaked over to my brothers bed, gently lifted his blankets and tossed it in with him.
No more
Well there you have it. Being young helps me to forgive myself (only 18 lol) I was 5/6.
So whats your childhood secret, we know you have one.
S&K.......
I myself have done anal many many times
and have never had this problem at all, i have also used toys on guys bums and they have always come out clean.Fudge packing strap-ons with heterosexuals, I think not - oooh-er missus!!
Simple guide for messing about with my fudge factory:
1 pair of sneaky slippers
2 years covert training
3 strong ninjas (for later) :kick:
4 baseball bats
5 people fighting - if I come round :taz:
And a pervert in a pear tree!! :bounce:
:smackbottom: 
:whistling: 
What is a tickling stick you may ask. I'm sure there are many types, all with different guises. Ours tends to be the corner of any newspaper, about 4" long and twisted and folded to a point. The most important thing is what you do with it (in this instance size really does not matter).
After skilfully assembling your tickling stick ask your partner to very slowly run it over requested part of face/body. Tracing eyes, brows, neck, ears, for a successful tickle never enter the nasal region - this can provoke a violent reaction!!
I defy anyone to endure lip tracing without twitching or rubbing furiously. Give it a try - it's well worth the fun.
Do you use a tickling stick ??? KEN DODD STAY OUT OF THIS THREAD!!
After skilfully assembling your tickling stick ask your partner to very slowly run it over requested part of face/body. Tracing eyes, brows, neck, ears, for a successful tickle never enter the nasal region - this can provoke a violent reaction!!
I defy anyone to endure lip tracing without twitching or rubbing furiously. Give it a try - it's well worth the fun.
Do you use a tickling stick ??? KEN DODD STAY OUT OF THIS THREAD!!
After taking free advantage of Swinging Heavens site since 30 September, with an excited attitude towards our new adventure, we threw ourselves into searching for our IDEAL!! In the beginning we found this quest all absorbing, we checked our in box morning noon and night, and in between we could not keep our hands off each other.
What a shocking surprise awaited us. Understand when there is no mutual attraction, trying to understand the nutters and picture collectors (why??????) But what we do not understand is the people who, after ongoing contact (week or so MSN) and early picture exchanges and having given every indication that they definitely want to meet etc., then seem to disappear??????? Why go through all of that just to lead someone on??? Just a wind-up, seems very elaborate to us.
Is it because they have had second thoughts and don't know what to say??? What's the problem with a one line email to say 'changed our minds'?? Its only text, they don't have to face anyone?? Anybody any thoughts on this because it's driving us crazy??
We are now back to sex 7 times a week (need the rest) and check our in box if one of us has the heart to??????? will understand if this is old territory, suspect it's a well worn PATH. at least we have been able to whinge!!!!! :cry: :cry:
What a shocking surprise awaited us. Understand when there is no mutual attraction, trying to understand the nutters and picture collectors (why??????) But what we do not understand is the people who, after ongoing contact (week or so MSN) and early picture exchanges and having given every indication that they definitely want to meet etc., then seem to disappear??????? Why go through all of that just to lead someone on??? Just a wind-up, seems very elaborate to us.
Is it because they have had second thoughts and don't know what to say??? What's the problem with a one line email to say 'changed our minds'?? Its only text, they don't have to face anyone?? Anybody any thoughts on this because it's driving us crazy??
We are now back to sex 7 times a week (need the rest) and check our in box if one of us has the heart to??????? will understand if this is old territory, suspect it's a well worn PATH. at least we have been able to whinge!!!!! :cry: :cry:
There are some very sensible views among the replies to this thread, optimistic, intelligent, practical, welcoming. But as usual some very naive and simply agressive responses. The positively cold and selfish comments originate from the hardcore members, SOME of who are unknowingly suffering from delusion based in their institutionalisation. There exists between you an agression towards moderators misunderstand and kick members without giving any opportunity for explanation. While allowing oldies to pretty much do as they please.
I believe this can only be a good thing, shaking this community by its roots, clearing out the deadwood. Breaking down your insular boundaries.
Have you thought this take over may even actually stop the nuisances that visit this free site on a regular basis. That you spend an awful lot of time discussing.
I believe this can only be a good thing, shaking this community by its roots, clearing out the deadwood. Breaking down your insular boundaries.
Have you thought this take over may even actually stop the nuisances that visit this free site on a regular basis. That you spend an awful lot of time discussing.
We have a computer ( laptop, xp2002 all the bells & whistles) with three shared user accounts, all with separate log-ins and passwords. Imagine our horror when our daughter started to print out her homework and lo and behold our SH advert started coming out of the printer!!. We were under the impression that all adverts were stored within the SH website???? Luckily (and thats an understatement) I was standing next to the printer at the time and immediately recognised the SH logo at the top and was able to hit the cancel button like lightning. However the ad title - Reading couple looking for fun - and the ad no was already through.
Just how this has happened, from SH website through our user account, into my daughters user account and then out from the printer is a total mystery to us. As you can imagine we are now extremely nervous to use this site any longer, and would be very grateful if anybody out there could explain how this happened??? And how can we avoid it ever happening again (apart from buying an additional PC).
On the very kind advice of Jagbrum (thanks again) we cleared cookies, history and basically deleted everything we were able to within cookies, and set delete cookies to daily clearance.
Has anyone else experienced anything like this?? It appears that we and GenHertsCpl have had a very lucky escape.
Just how this has happened, from SH website through our user account, into my daughters user account and then out from the printer is a total mystery to us. As you can imagine we are now extremely nervous to use this site any longer, and would be very grateful if anybody out there could explain how this happened??? And how can we avoid it ever happening again (apart from buying an additional PC).
On the very kind advice of Jagbrum (thanks again) we cleared cookies, history and basically deleted everything we were able to within cookies, and set delete cookies to daily clearance.
Has anyone else experienced anything like this?? It appears that we and GenHertsCpl have had a very lucky escape.
Well geordiecpl2001,
A rubber fish,
Stick it in a bowl & poke it occassionally,
Wear as an eye catching brooch, :shock:
Insert a battery up its arse & make it swing oops swim, :idea:
Slap it on the ground & dance naked in the moonlight,
Chew it for a very long time mmmmm :P
Or just simply SHAG it, it wont complain &who's it going to tell. :twisted:
A rubber fish,
Stick it in a bowl & poke it occassionally,
Wear as an eye catching brooch, :shock:
Insert a battery up its arse & make it swing oops swim, :idea:
Slap it on the ground & dance naked in the moonlight,
Chew it for a very long time mmmmm :P
Or just simply SHAG it, it wont complain &who's it going to tell. :twisted:
