hi all
for the 4 th time in as many weeks we have arranged for a single guy to attend a club with us for the usual drinks and maybe fun thing....
tried to seek out the genuine sounding guys,,, arranged ,, no show ,, why ??
wot we doing wrong ??
is it cos we say a few drinks and see how we get on ?? and not will shag you no matter what ??
any ideas ,,,, would love to hear the views of others
about to pack up single guys and just do the cpl thing...
plus is it the done thing to name and shame ,, so others can see who is a waster and whos not ???
alan rach xxx
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Quote by alanrachel2000
hiya jags
thx hun ..
can we name and shame in chatroom ??
alanrach xx
NO! No-where at all!! Keep it to yourself.
There could well be a genuine reason why they didn't show. As for a reason for not letting you know?? Either no time/emergency or just bad manners.
Put it behind you and move on.
:P
Quote by Hillfolk
Not that I'm a single bloke but......
If I were, I don't think I would travel anywhere just to be sized up for a shag. This can lead to bitter dissapointment and frustration should it not go well. I tend to avoid those situations whereever possible. Why am I telling the world this? who cares?
i think its a very valid point that you make............. so its good that you share your views with "the world" lol
its clear that this has caused a real headache for alanrachel and i for one wouldnt want to miss out on the opportunity of meeting them (possibly) because they have reached the end of their tether due to some arsewipe letdown........who cant take rejection.
last week i met up with a couple in similar circumstances....... they were happy to travel to me... as we would have played at mine should the meet have gone well. It transpired that they didnt want to take things furtherand i was able to live with it.... its not the first time in my life ive been turned down... im not bitter........and ive had a meet since anyway....
if id have travelled and it not worked out i suppose that id have been a little frustrated, but then again id have been prepared to set aside a whole evening anyway... either on my own or in company.
alan and rachel......... all i can say is that this sort of thing happens... not with me... but it happens... i hope that you bear with it... even consider a get together with yours truly..... to test the water.......... and forget the arsewipes that are around....
hi alanrach,
Maybe your just choosing the wrong sort of guys.
I am happy to meet up first to see how things go, those that arn't are probably timewasters anyway.
Don't give up there are are few genuine ones out there.
Give my profile a look, if your happy with it I would be delighted to meet.
Carlosx
Maybe your just choosing the wrong sort of guys.
I am happy to meet up first to see how things go, those that arn't are probably timewasters anyway.
Don't give up there are are few genuine ones out there.
Give my profile a look, if your happy with it I would be delighted to meet.
Carlosx
hiya
so wot your saying is hillys ?? if they travel they get a shag no matter what??
weve seen pics and the attraction side is there or we wouldnt arrange
but wot if they have a shite personality or their just not on the same wavelength
how many cpls addys u see with lets meet up see how it goes ,,,
so its ok for cpls meets to be like that but not singles ???
alan rach ??
so wot your saying is hillys ?? if they travel they get a shag no matter what??
weve seen pics and the attraction side is there or we wouldnt arrange
but wot if they have a shite personality or their just not on the same wavelength
how many cpls addys u see with lets meet up see how it goes ,,,
so its ok for cpls meets to be like that but not singles ???
alan rach ??
Sex God
what if they are stinkers :shock:
urgh you wouldnt shag a stinker would you
i mean until we get scratch and sniff monitors there has to be room for , not tonight darling
staggy (non swinger, non stinker)
xx
urgh you wouldnt shag a stinker would you
i mean until we get scratch and sniff monitors there has to be room for , not tonight darling
staggy (non swinger, non stinker)
xx
I don't think you're doing anything particularly wrong - just having a run of bad luck.
As for the "meet for drinks and see what happens", I think that's sensible. Like others have said, would you really want to guarantee a shag with somebody you haven't actually met?
If you're specifically looking for a guy to go with a club with you, why not look for guys who are already members? If they're already a member at least you know they do actually go to the club and they're probably more likely to turn up.
As for the "meet for drinks and see what happens", I think that's sensible. Like others have said, would you really want to guarantee a shag with somebody you haven't actually met?
If you're specifically looking for a guy to go with a club with you, why not look for guys who are already members? If they're already a member at least you know they do actually go to the club and they're probably more likely to turn up.
Sex God
Quote by alanrachel2000
hi all
for the 4 th time in as many weeks we have arranged for a single guy to attend a club with us for the usual drinks and maybe fun thing....
tried to seek out the genuine sounding guys,,, arranged ,, no show ,, why ??
wot we doing wrong ??
is it cos we say a few drinks and see how we get on ?? and not will shag you no matter what ??
any ideas ,,,, would love to hear the views of others
about to pack up single guys and just do the cpl thing...
plus is it the done thing to name and shame ,, so others can see who is a waster and whos not ???
alan rach xxx
Sorry to hear that you've been let down so many times by single guys - we're not all like that, honest!
I don't think it's anything you're doing wrong, it makes good sense that you would want to meet over a few drinks first and with 'no promises' and it seems to me that meeting at a club also means that should either party decide they don't want to take things further, you can still have fun with other people at the club should you wish to do so and it's still a good night out.
I don't think distance should come into it as if - speaking personally - I had agreed to meeting up in the first place, I would have taken that into consideration and if I'd any thought that maybe it was too far to go, I wouldn't agree to meeting in the first place.
To be honest, some of the no-shows may have been because the guy 'lost his nerve' but regardless of any excuse, it's just plain bad manners and lack of courtesy to have contacted you beforehand to let you know ... It's their loss, not yours .
Quote by Hillfolk
Not that I'm a single bloke but......
If I were, I don't think I would travel anywhere just to be sized up for a shag. This can lead to bitter dissapointment and frustration should it not go well. I tend to avoid those situations whereever possible. Why am I telling the world this? who cares?
so what your saying is...if the shag as you put it is guaranteed you wouldn't mind travelling.....but if it was just a meet to seehow things could turn out,you wouldn't bother!!
isn't the whole point of meet ups just to see how you all get on anyway....if there is no chemistry and nothing comes of it thats just life.....you can't go by photos alone and the odd phonecall.....you need to meet as well.
and in future arrange a meeting in a public place first ie. a pub...arranging to meet in a "club" can be an expensive do for a single guy...but my advice is carry on and see what happens ...not all single guys are timewasters ... there are a few genuine guys out there that do actually meet people and dont just at a desk in front of a pc tugging themselves at the thought of a 3some....
BUT remember its not just guys that do this.... ...its Couples as well.....so dont tar everyone with the same brush
BUT remember its not just guys that do this.... ...its Couples as well.....so dont tar everyone with the same brush
Orgasminator
Cobblers. Theres only ever been one genuine single guy on this site, and that was me and i hung my condoms up ages ago. The rest of em on here are all mouth and no trousers..
I think a meet before the act cuts both ways as they may not fancy you (your pics are great) its hard work to meet one night and then arange the good stuff for another day.
if the mods are reading this may be we could have a feedback system like ebay.
I also think there should be a delay between signing up and posting a sort of cooling off period we have all seen guys sign on and make a stream of bad posts all in the same day.
there are aload of good guys out there its worth trying again.
maybe ask a few more questions before you arange.
best of luck
s
if the mods are reading this may be we could have a feedback system like ebay.
I also think there should be a delay between signing up and posting a sort of cooling off period we have all seen guys sign on and make a stream of bad posts all in the same day.
there are aload of good guys out there its worth trying again.
maybe ask a few more questions before you arange.
best of luck
s
Mod
Quote by simon.r
I think a meet before the act cuts both ways as they may not fancy you (your pics are great) its hard work to meet one night and then arange the good stuff for another day.
if the mods are reading this may be we could have a feedback system like ebay.
I also think there should be a delay between signing up and posting a sort of cooling off period we have all seen guys sign on and make a stream of bad posts all in the same day.
there are aload of good guys out there its worth trying again.
maybe ask a few more questions before you arange.
best of luck
s
Feedback/verification is NOT going to happen and is not up for discussion - sorry.
Mal
Quote by alanrachel2000
hiya mal
can we ask as to why with such a definate NO verification or something similar will not either work or happen...
or is a case of yer pays yer money yer takes yer chance ???
alanrachelxxxxxx
Verification is open to abuse......you can't make a meet by no fault of your own at the last minute.....but the other couple doesn't see it that way.....but leave you bad feedback,not really fair is it.
You meet up with a couple but it doesn't go well by no fault of your own but the other couple doesn't see it that way....but leave you bad feedback,not really fair is it!
I could go on!
Sex God
Quote by alanrachel2000
can we ask as to why with such a definate NO verification or something similar will not either work or happen...
The main reason it is so open to abuse. How do you know the person making the report is actually telling the truth? For example I could take a dislike to someone on the forums and make a report saying they are timewasters and dont turn up for meets. I could easily make up dates and times they have let me down. How would that person prove I am lying?
Another example, I arrange to meet someone off here, and on the way to the meet I get a phone call saying a relative as been taken seriously ill (this has happened to me) so I need to get the hospital very quickly. The last thing I will think about in such an emergency is going meeting the person. I may try to send a text, but my phone is not getting any reception. So Im a time waster again!
If everyone was totally honest then the system would work, but if everyone was totally honest then the sytem wouldnt be needed in the first place.
Its part of life and one of the reasons we dont bother doing pre-arranged meets with people unless we have already met them at one of the socials etc and been able to find out a little about them. You have to learn to accept it and just move on.
Mod
Quote by alanrachel2000
hiya mal
can we ask as to why with such a definate NO verification or something similar will not either work or happen...
or is a case of yer pays yer money yer takes yer chance ???
alanrachelxxxxxx
Hi Guys
Verification caused one of the biggest ever controversies on here and it was found to be unworkable and unwanted. Nothing to do with money at all, this was a long time before the new owners even thought of buying the site.
Hope that helps.
Mal
Hi Alan n rachel, and everyone else. Yes I agree, it p----s us all off when a no show happens, but it happens to us single guys too, I have arranged several meets with cpls only to be sat there like a plonka waiting, and wasting what could have been a good night else where (maybe a club) at least if the meet was at a club, a good night could still be had (even if just chilling out). I always offer to meet for a coffee and a chat first and then if the cpl are still interested they can confirm a fun meet when they want to. yes it can be a pain getting a "thanks but no thanks" but at least when the effort is made to meet in the first place,it makes it a little easier to take the knock back. you have to expect it sometimes. But done with manners and politely it aint so bad.
I have also found a lot of couples who seem very keen, and ask for contact details and face piccies, and having supplied them not heard a thing. (stop laughing)
At least have the manners to say "sorry not what we are looking for, after stringing a guy on for several emails.
Yes it happens to us all guys/couples and probably single fems too,
So keep at it Alan n Rachel , and yes, keep insisting on a no commitment meet first, hope thimgs improve for you,
Oh, and if you fancy a coffee, give me a shout,
Mike
I have also found a lot of couples who seem very keen, and ask for contact details and face piccies, and having supplied them not heard a thing. (stop laughing)
At least have the manners to say "sorry not what we are looking for, after stringing a guy on for several emails.
Yes it happens to us all guys/couples and probably single fems too,
So keep at it Alan n Rachel , and yes, keep insisting on a no commitment meet first, hope thimgs improve for you,
Oh, and if you fancy a coffee, give me a shout,
Mike
Sex God
we always make a point that its a no strings social drink/meet in the 1st place.......
one guy told us bluntly "if theres no chance of a shag i`m not coming for a drink"..........
some say they can`t make it......some turn up.......and some travel 50+ miles for a drink ,r really nice guys ,and we go on to have some fun..........others r 6" shorther than they`ve said-unshaven..........
we`re now looking forward to meeting some new faces at the social , and meeting up with some old friends too.......
one guy told us bluntly "if theres no chance of a shag i`m not coming for a drink"..........
some say they can`t make it......some turn up.......and some travel 50+ miles for a drink ,r really nice guys ,and we go on to have some fun..........others r 6" shorther than they`ve said-unshaven..........
we`re now looking forward to meeting some new faces at the social , and meeting up with some old friends too.......
Quote by Mal
hiya mal
can we ask as to why with such a definate NO verification or something similar will not either work or happen...
or is a case of yer pays yer money yer takes yer chance ???
alanrachelxxxxxx
Hi Guys
Verification caused one of the biggest ever controversies on here and it was found to be unworkable and unwanted. Nothing to do with money at all, this was a long time before the new owners even thought of buying the site.
Hope that helps.
Mal
Maybe the new owners might consider it ?
Mod
Quote by dambuster
hiya mal
can we ask as to why with such a definate NO verification or something similar will not either work or happen...
or is a case of yer pays yer money yer takes yer chance ???
alanrachelxxxxxx
Hi Guys
Verification caused one of the biggest ever controversies on here and it was found to be unworkable and unwanted. Nothing to do with money at all, this was a long time before the new owners even thought of buying the site.
Hope that helps.
Mal
Maybe the new owners might consider it ?
As you're so good with the search button, Dammy, perhaps you might like to dig it up and see why it wasn't workable then and is unlikely to be workable again.
Quote by Mal
As you're so good with the search button, Dammy, perhaps you might like to dig it up and see why it wasn't workable then and is unlikely to be workable again.
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/27234.html - .............. but don't go there unless you have a couple of days to spare
:shock: - I didn't realise that was so long ago.
Not workable then ? Dunno
Not workable now ? Dunno
Feedback/verification is NOT going to happen and is not up for discussion - sorry.
There are at least a couple of things that "would never happen" but did.
Mod
Quote by dambuster
Not workable then ? Dunno
No
Quote by dambuster
Not workable now ? Dunno
No
Over 50 pages of discussion. I'm not going down that again. It was the most divisive thread ever.
Mal
