condom wake up call!

31 Jul 2007

having spent most of the last twelve months in the chatroom and watching many cam shows, albeit for not very long, it isn't our thing tbh, I wondered if the use of a condom has become a thing of the past, never seen one used yet! I appreciate sometimes we are just witnessing couples playing but very often this has not been the case, does a quick chat before a meet now warrant no need for protection.
I'm not just talking about the lower risk activities, I'm talking about everything else too!
the number of times I've read on here, ' we always use condoms' yet as now a seasoned pro on this site I've seen them used occasionaly at parties yet rarely elsewhere, are too many folks kidding themselves that hiv amongst other nasties is a thing of the past? it isn't !!!!
isn't it time for a wake up call and we go back to the way things were a few years back!
condoms are an essential part of the swingers kit, aren't they?
don't tell me I'm wrong here and we all use them, that's bollox, go watch a web cam or two, if you can manage it... and yes I know there are some on here that religiously won't play without them but there are way too many that just talk the talk!
wrats

31 Jul 2007

With my dear W I never use a condom, but with all other partners I do. If I found that W was playing without a condom I would be concerned.
If the news reports of HIV have faded away, it is just because HIV is now so common it does not warrant being called news. All the more reason to protect oneself!

31 Jul 2007

I used to work in a manchester swinging club and there as well we saw the sale and cleanup of condoms drastically reduced in the last 12 women refusing to play with men that wanted to use condoms, Im extremely shocked by this but its their choice , a silly 1 but is xj

31 Jul 2007

We go to a swinging club in birmingham and i no what you mean come to think about it when going around there were only a hand full putting on a condom the thought of getting up the duff by anothrer man would kill me but getting a sti id defo die its not as if there hard to put on ffs.

31 Jul 2007

we all have our own rules or do's and sont's for swinging but the main on we have is NO CONDOM - NO SHAG, quite simple really but there are a few out there who cant get that messgage. we have had guys we have met who have "forgotten" they need 2 put one on and have tried to carry on anyway. i may be a lot of things but stupid i aint, i know the feel of a willy in a welly lol. there are even guys about who say they've had the snip so they dont need condoms!
like dizz said i'd be mortified at the thought of getting pregnant and wonderng if it was mr 04's or some bloke we met on this site. dieseases are worrying too, how the hell would u tell ur kids u've got HIV or AIDS and where you go it? not something i want to do im afraid, but there are those who dont think of the consequences, i pity them and their families.

31 Jul 2007

A lot of people get into a routine, for example when you were a child and you nicked from the cookie jar.
Because you weren’t caught out as what some people haven’t been without using condoms, they become a bit bolder and do it again. The more they notice their getting away with it the more likely they are to do it.
Maybe we should stop being polite with people. Instead of just saying 'no I don't want to play with you.' simply because you've seen them having unprotected sex with someone. Let them know why. I think it will work cause then they'll realise it's no as acceptable as they thought and definitely not desirable among most swingers.
In my eyes, men or women that don't wear protection when playing with someone who isn't their partner is unbelievably selfish!
^^^ That came out like a load of bollocks, but I’m going to post it anyways biggrin

31 Jul 2007

Quote by Chaotic_Spirit
In my eyes, men or women that don't wear protection when playing with someone who isn't their partner is unbelievably selfish!

I would say more than just selfish but alarmingly irresposible.

Quote by
If the news reports of HIV have faded away, it is just because HIV is now so common it does not warrant being called news. All the more reason to protect oneself!

Yes HIV news maybe fading but there are news that Chlamydia is on the rise a well.

31 Jul 2007

Quote by awol
Yes HIV news maybe fading but there are news that Chlamydia is on the rise a well.

not forgetting the, hard to control- potentially fatal, hepatitis C.
splendid

31 Jul 2007

no condom no play for us, end off
lets just say a couple have say 10 meets a year and each of those couples have 10 meets a year. Do the maths.

31 Jul 2007

as always everyone that contributes to this thread uses condoms and im sure they are telling the truth....
as usual no one comes on and says they have a total disregard for their safety and the safety of others....
well those of you new to this site scene, beware the picture painted above by the replies this thread has had is not one that tells the whole story.
STAY SAFE , PLAY SAFE
and yes i know it would be site suicide for those that dont to be honest and admit they have a total disregard for safe sex, face it would you play unsafely with 'x' thats played with y that played with k,j,d,t,s,e,b,g,f,h and v? without a condom.... think on because thats what we see on the webcams, and thats what has been going on for months here,
i couldnt give a flying fluck by the way if this makes me unpopular with those that do this, ill be honest and say it suits me that they would keep their distance anyway..
we all have choices to make with how far we go unsafely, we all have choices to make with what kind of sex we have, i think many need a refresher course on what is and what isnt safe , the pill does not prevent sti's neither does circumcision or the snip!! all ideas some folk have... it would seem, or maybe they just have the sti's anyway so dont care , i mean you wont catch hiv twice will you?
this is not intended to be sabre rattling it really is just a wake up call, some of the practices i see here would get many linched in other circles where multiple partners are common, i mean gay circles, its still frowned upon to the point of making people out casts, yet here it has somewhat to my mind become acceptable...not by all but by way too many.
back to how do i know this, well because i see it , id see it daily on the webcams if i chose to watch what goes on there more than i have, when i do look its always the case, no condom followed by penetration, scorn is often passed on those that use the cams to 'knock one out' ie the cam wankers,dont bother me one jot tbh, yet nothing is ever said about the unsafe shaggers, hopefully now folk will realise people take notice and maybe we can move on in an aproach to swinging that is both fun and sensible. Or at least those that care can!
wrats
xx

31 Jul 2007

Quote by wild rose and the stag
I wondered if the use of a condom has become a thing of the past, never seen one used yet! I appreciate sometimes we are just witnessing couples playing but very often this has not been the case

How do you know if the people playing have only just met? dunno

Are they not just committed couples playing? Jay and I have been together for 10 years therefore we don't use one.

31 Jul 2007

Quote by jaymar
I wondered if the use of a condom has become a thing of the past, never seen one used yet! I appreciate sometimes we are just witnessing couples playing but very often this has not been the case

How do you know if the people playing have only just met? dunno

Are they not just committed couples playing? Jay and I have been together for 10 years therefore we don't use one.
It's not just couples that you see on cam, single females and single males meet up and show too.
Plus the chatroom regulars do become quite social with one another and do learn bits about each person from socials, munches and parties.
You do become aware who is playing with who on cam.

31 Jul 2007

Quote by jaymar
I wondered if the use of a condom has become a thing of the past, never seen one used yet! I appreciate sometimes we are just witnessing couples playing but very often this has not been the case

How do you know if the people playing have only just met? dunno

Are they not just committed couples playing? Jay and I have been together for 10 years therefore we don't use one.
because you see the whole story unfold from conception to intercourse thats how, unless of course they are just pretending to say they have only just met and the sites a sham? thats how i know. we arent talking parteners here we are talking swinging meets,

31 Jul 2007

Until I joined here I never used one but then I was 18 yrs with ex, now I would use them with out fail even though I am having trouble getting used to them.
Hmm thread idea
confused

:

31 Jul 2007

Quote by Chaotic_Spirit
I wondered if the use of a condom has become a thing of the past, never seen one used yet! I appreciate sometimes we are just witnessing couples playing but very often this has not been the case

How do you know if the people playing have only just met? dunno

Are they not just committed couples playing? Jay and I have been together for 10 years therefore we don't use one.
It's not just couples that you see on cam, single females and single males meet up and show too.
Plus the chatroom regulars do become quite social with one another and do learn bits about each person from socials, munches and parties.
You do become aware who is playing with who on cam.
So you're telling me that singles meet up and play on cam within a few hours of meeting? without protection? loon

I'm genuinely shocked :shock:
Isn't it strange how your own morals take over and for me I presume that these are loving couples playing as meeting up and doing that so soon wouldn't be something I would do.
Well that's shut me up today then! :gagged: lol

31 Jul 2007

Quote by Ukwineman
Until I joined here I never used one but then I was 18 yrs with ex, now I would use them with out fail even though I am having trouble getting used to them.
Hmm thread idea
:

Do you need someone to show you how?? :rascal:

31 Jul 2007

Quote by wild rose and the stag
I wondered if the use of a condom has become a thing of the past, never seen one used yet! I appreciate sometimes we are just witnessing couples playing but very often this has not been the case

How do you know if the people playing have only just met? dunno

Are they not just committed couples playing? Jay and I have been together for 10 years therefore we don't use one.
because you see the whole story unfold from conception to intercourse thats how, unless of course they are just pretending to say they have only just met and the sites a sham? thats how i know. we arent talking parteners here we are talking swinging meets,
oh and i know many of them...

31 Jul 2007

Quote by wild rose and the stag
I wondered if the use of a condom has become a thing of the past, never seen one used yet! I appreciate sometimes we are just witnessing couples playing but very often this has not been the case

How do you know if the people playing have only just met? dunno

Are they not just committed couples playing? Jay and I have been together for 10 years therefore we don't use one.
because you see the whole story unfold from conception to intercourse thats how, unless of course they are just pretending to say they have only just met and the sites a sham? thats how i know. we arent talking parteners here we are talking swinging meets,
ooh get you .. lol

I was actually genuine in my thinking that all the couples who are playing know each other well and therefore were playing safe.

31 Jul 2007

Quote by jaymar
Until I joined here I never used one but then I was 18 yrs with ex, now I would use them with out fail even though I am having trouble getting used to them.
Hmm thread idea
:

Do you need someone to show you how?? :rascal:
You would always be welcome to show me :twisted: was going to surprise you at Pink Triangle but other events took over and could not get there :cry:

31 Jul 2007

Quote by Ukwineman
Until I joined here I never used one but then I was 18 yrs with ex, now I would use them with out fail even though I am having trouble getting used to them.
Hmm thread idea
:

Do you need someone to show you how?? :rascal:
You would always be welcome to show me :twisted: was going to surprise you at Pink Triangle but other events took over and could not get there :cry:
Aaawww.. that would have been nice but shame you couldn't..and before we get wrong.. hijack over! lol

31 Jul 2007

Quote by jaymar
I wondered if the use of a condom has become a thing of the past, never seen one used yet! I appreciate sometimes we are just witnessing couples playing but very often this has not been the case

How do you know if the people playing have only just met? dunno

Are they not just committed couples playing? Jay and I have been together for 10 years therefore we don't use one.
because you see the whole story unfold from conception to intercourse thats how, unless of course they are just pretending to say they have only just met and the sites a sham? thats how i know. we arent talking parteners here we are talking swinging meets,
ooh get you .. lol

I was actually genuine in my thinking that all the couples who are playing know each other well and therefore were playing safe.
I would be suprised if some people got a name now days sad

But they are different varations of swinging and some people like that last minute thing, and im not one to knock it, but it is frightening to see the amount of unprotected sex that does go on :(

31 Jul 2007

I remember a thread like this in the past.
Someone put up that as well as men wearing condoms for penetrative sex, they pointed out that sti's can be passed by oral sex. So is the issue here that you want to pass the message on that all sexual activity should be with the use of a condom and femidom for both penetrative sex and oral sex........or just penetrative sex and worn by the man.
Just being nosey as I remembered someone talking about all the sti's that can be passed on by oral sex. So should a femidom be used by women and a condom by a man for oral sex in your view or is that not unbelievably selfish or have a total disregard for their safety and the safety of others.
We use condoms for penetrative sex but not oral. Something that we may have to think about.
Dave_Notts

31 Jul 2007

Quote by Dave__Notts
I remember a thread like this in the past.
Someone put up that as well as men wearing condoms for penetrative sex, they pointed out that sti's can be passed by oral sex. So is the issue here that you want to pass the message on that all sexual activity should be with the use of a condom and femidom for both penetrative sex and oral sex........or just penetrative sex and worn by the man.
Just being nosey as I remembered someone talking about all the sti's that can be passed on by oral sex. So should a femidom be used by women and a condom by a man for oral sex in your view or is that not unbelievably selfish or have a total disregard for their safety and the safety of others.
We use condoms for penetrative sex but not oral. Something that we may have to think about.
Dave_Notts

Well let be frank Swinging isn't safe sex! But you can decide how safe you want it to be.
BTW femidom will do sod all protection for oral, you want a dental-dam and i wouldn't really recommend them.
I don't use condoms or dental-dams for oral though i do use condoms for sex. True it is less likely to catch disease from oral, but the risk is still there.
Though i do have regular tests and long term playmates rather then several one-offs, so a trust is formed there too. I'm a bit fussy! Though true enough, it is slightly irresponsible of me.

31 Jul 2007

I found it hard to get dental dams from my local chemist... couldnt believe it! confused

:? Made them think a bit though when I queried it as thw area has one of the highest rates for STi's and pregnancies etc..
Some of the stats I recieved last year highlighted the increase in STD etc in the 40+ age age range!Chlamydia the silent epidemic is at the highest levels ever!
I remember being told a joke many moons ago...
What lasts longer than Love.........
Herpes!!
Think some other deseases have over taken that one but it makes you think!
Don't forget to use condoms when using toys... use a new one if in a group situation etc!
I never share my toys...even when I was akid!! lol

I myself, rarely use a condom..(think there all going out of date now :? ) I dont play! Safest method going! wink

Dave, your right...there are other threads on the same subject... maybe someone has updated info to share?
xanaisx

31 Jul 2007

Quote by Dave__Notts
I remember a thread like this in the past.
Someone put up that as well as men wearing condoms for penetrative sex, they pointed out that sti's can be passed by oral sex. So is the issue here that you want to pass the message on that all sexual activity should be with the use of a condom and femidom for both penetrative sex and oral sex........or just penetrative sex and worn by the man.
Just being nosey as I remembered someone talking about all the sti's that can be passed on by oral sex. So should a femidom be used by women and a condom by a man for oral sex in your view or is that not unbelievably selfish or have a total disregard for their safety and the safety of others.
We use condoms for penetrative sex but not oral. Something that we may have to think about.
Dave_Notts

all im saying and i admit im no expert is wake up and smell the coffee, as far you want to go , go... your choice, ask your gu med clinic for advice not me..i know what they will say, lets face it you can have a hiv test on the back of one unprotected sexual encounter , penetrative or not, i had one a while back because i helped a junky with severe injuries at the roadside, i was advised to by the police as the guy said he had Aids, the risks are for you alone to way up, the social comment on what i see was for me to make....this subject isnt discussed nearly often enough on swinging sites, im expecting redicule and maybe a little abuse from certain quarters for starting this thread , we have had it before when someone said we were a waste of time as we once said in our profile , "fluids do not get exchanged" not sure if its still there, may have taken it out , i know we thought about it because of the shit we got in the chatroom over it.... but for flucks sake, thats safe sex !!
anyway this isnt about us, its just a general comment to maybe make folk think twice before filling themselves with fluids that may just contain more than they bargained for...
wrats
xx

31 Jul 2007

right you cannot get pregnant from oral which is a worry for all. the pill does is not %100 effective.
secondly there is much less of a risk with oral than pen sex.
yes swinging is not the safest way to enjoy dirty sex, try your best to make it safer is our motto

31 Jul 2007

Here goes.....
myself and miss srne are a soft swing couple, we are also very infrequent swingers having had only 4 meet ups in over 2 years that have included soft swing partner swapping, these have been with people we have chatted to for a fair while and if u like "sussed out" for the most part!!
If we did ever full swap with a couple it would have to be one that we got on with socially as well as sexually, and with whom we had met up with on a few occasions AND include wearing a condom!!
Now im not sure if i am reading this correctly on here but we are all seeming to miss a vital point confused

: we are all talking about men wearing condoms yes, but how many of the couples that have said "we always wear condoms" and comments similar, have had the fem of the couple engage in oral sexual activities with the other female of a couple?
What did u do here guys, wear a "tounge rubber" lol

because on a serious note, if the male of the couple is wearing a condom with you when you meet, on your stipulation, what is to say he has done this with other couples who dont "always wear protection" then gone home and had unprotected sex with his wife/partner passing on any STI's etc to her :?:
I'm not slinging mud, having a pop or trying to be argumentative, just raising a point that may have been overlooked as those that insist on condoms might still in effect be at risk in this instance if they have a bi - sexual female partner and incorporate this in their swinging meets!!
If we are totally honest, miss srne and myself have met and had fem/fem and even partner soft swap oral without the use of condoms in the past and im SURE we are not alone just more HONEST than most :shock: . We realise the risk even though calculated (in that we are infrequent swingers and generally don't meet people who on their adds and through chat say consider themselves "regular swingers") but it is far less likely to be a possibility than say a single guy/female who goes out on the town each week picks up a stranger and has either oral or full sex with them 40 out of 52 weeks (good scoring odds ehy wink

)!!
Anyway just something for u to consider

31 Jul 2007

reading all the posts its a little worrying that condoms are not being used as much as they should be.
heavens knows why people are prepared to take such a risk with a life.
I always carry condoms and use them regardless of who she if i've seen her before.

31 Jul 2007

Quote by wild rose and the stag
I remember a thread like this in the past.
Someone put up that as well as men wearing condoms for penetrative sex, they pointed out that sti's can be passed by oral sex. So is the issue here that you want to pass the message on that all sexual activity should be with the use of a condom and femidom for both penetrative sex and oral sex........or just penetrative sex and worn by the man.
Just being nosey as I remembered someone talking about all the sti's that can be passed on by oral sex. So should a femidom be used by women and a condom by a man for oral sex in your view or is that not unbelievably selfish or have a total disregard for their safety and the safety of others.
We use condoms for penetrative sex but not oral. Something that we may have to think about.
Dave_Notts

all im saying and i admit im no expert is wake up and smell the coffee, as far you want to go , go... your choice, ask your gu med clinic for advice not me..i know what they will say, lets face it you can have a hiv test on the back of one unprotected sexual encounter , penetrative or not, i had one a while back because i helped a junky with severe injuries at the roadside, i was advised to by the police as the guy said he had Aids, the risks are for you alone to way up, the social comment on what i see was for me to make....this subject isnt discussed nearly often enough on swinging sites, im expecting redicule and maybe a little abuse from certain quarters for starting this thread , we have had it before when someone said we were a waste of time as we once said in our profile , "fluids do not get exchanged" not sure if its still there, may have taken it out , i know we thought about it because of the shit we got in the chatroom over it.... but for flucks sake, thats safe sex !!
anyway this isnt about us, its just a general comment to maybe make folk think twice before filling themselves with fluids that may just contain more than they bargained for...
wrats
xx
I didn't ask for your advice. I asked for your view.
You made your point on penetrative sex which I agreed with, I was wondering what view you have on unprotected oral sex since you were very condeming of those that do not have protected penetrative sex.
Dave_Notts

31 Jul 2007

I think people would be more concerned about unprotected oral sex if the risks were more well known.

Frightening stuff.