I have discovered my partner uses this site - I have never been, told and they still dont know I know!
What percentage of people on here 'just chat'?
Does anyone else use this without their partner knowing?
Any advice on to want to do.. how to react would be appreciated...
thanks
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Does your partner know?
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Sex God
My partner knows I'm here, I met him here 
There are several people on this site just to chat, they never meet anyone, but they make this clear in their profile, with a statement like:- 'only here socially' or something similar.
You could always ask your partner about this site and see what reaction you get, maybe it is something you might both want to get involved in.
Either way good luck
There are several people on this site just to chat, they never meet anyone, but they make this clear in their profile, with a statement like:- 'only here socially' or something similar.
You could always ask your partner about this site and see what reaction you get, maybe it is something you might both want to get involved in.
Either way good luck
Sex God
oops, what if they catch you now?!
Yes a lot of people come here just to chat, perhaps they used to swing in the past but have stayed for the friends and community.....................
again, prehaps they're having a gang bang -athon every week without your knowledge..... lol only kidding :;-)
Yes a lot of people come here just to chat, perhaps they used to swing in the past but have stayed for the friends and community.....................
again, prehaps they're having a gang bang -athon every week without your knowledge..... lol only kidding :;-)
Sexpert
My long term partner knows....it fact she/it's responsible for around 50% of the characters in this response 
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<- Sex God
Quote by maryme
Hi everyone - thanks for replying
No he doesnt know i am on here - its my second day having a look! Just trying to work out why he would go on here ... and also why he felt he could not tell me. I am curious but it also feel a bit strange to know someone I love chats away on here ...
I'm back again, I'm a bit puzzled,
Your profile says you are nearly single, and you have an advert up that was placed , yet you are worried about your partner.
Is it possible you want to have 'fun' and get rid of him?
Just being nosey.
Quote by maryme
Hi everyone - thanks for replying
No he doesnt know i am on here - its my second day having a look! Just trying to work out why he would go on here ... and also why he felt he could not tell me. I am curious but it also feel a bit strange to know someone I love chats away on here ...
i know im going too far in saying this, but im in one of those moods today, and will accept any consequences
from the little i know, you are both on here without each other being told about it
that would say to me your relationship has communication issues, and you really both need to sit down and have a damn good chat
if you are both comfortable being on this site, why cant you both be comfortable enough to say to each other that its something you could look at within your relationship?
oh yes i am confusing you
I have known for a while - but chose to ignore it... or thought he wasnt on here regularly.. I filled in the profile a month ago but could not get access as at Non Member... yesterday I got 7 days for free...so thats why I am now able to chat.
Anyway - I know I will have to talk to him about it! This looks like it could be fun!
I have known for a while - but chose to ignore it... or thought he wasnt on here regularly.. I filled in the profile a month ago but could not get access as at Non Member... yesterday I got 7 days for free...so thats why I am now able to chat.
Anyway - I know I will have to talk to him about it! This looks like it could be fun!
Sex God
I've got a better idea, she said whilst getting in the popcorn and wine.
You pm me his user name, and I will talk to him and see what happens.
How come you have 7 days free?/
You pm me his user name, and I will talk to him and see what happens.
How come you have 7 days free?/
Sexpert
how to react would be appreciated
...it seems to me you're reacting in a fairly jovial way, which means the only thing you need to address (and it is a biggy) is honesty.
As essex said, talk to each other about it - see what it is that you are both comfortable with and what you are not. There really is no point in living a lie.
You are reacting by finding out more about the place evidently...which is probably quite healthy (better than reaching for the ice pick...), but you should talk.
Warming the Bed
My hubby and I actually joined at the same time ages ago... I drifted away for a bit, but he stayed and chatted to people. We then had the big talk about the scene, and I came back again... aren't you all lucky people! 
Having a talk about it is probably your best plan. If you're both interested, why not be interested together? You don't have to play together if you don't want to but you have to be prepared for the "what ifs" if he wants to play without you.
That was one of my biggest concerns really, but I came to the conclusion that if he's happy to let me play on my own, I can let him do the same, and be happy about it because sometimes we will play together. It's still under discussion, but we do have a serious interest in the scene.
One thing I will say about my hubby and me is that whatever we do here, it's to enhance, not replace, our relationship.
Having a talk about it is probably your best plan. If you're both interested, why not be interested together? You don't have to play together if you don't want to but you have to be prepared for the "what ifs" if he wants to play without you.
That was one of my biggest concerns really, but I came to the conclusion that if he's happy to let me play on my own, I can let him do the same, and be happy about it because sometimes we will play together. It's still under discussion, but we do have a serious interest in the scene.
One thing I will say about my hubby and me is that whatever we do here, it's to enhance, not replace, our relationship.
Quote by naughtynymphos1
something smells a bit funny about this thread
im sooooo sorry... i had beans on toast for brekkie
ops: :oops: :oops:Well next time don't :shock:
well i didnt mean to... i thought it was just gonna be one of those that doesnt smell...
:oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops:
Sex God
so you discovered in your internet cache or whatever that your partner was using a swingers site.
your imediate reaction was to join yourself and place yourself an advert looking for other men.
then a month later you think to ask around about the reasons your partner may be using the site?
ok, now i have got that straight in my mind......................................................
..................................................lets pretend that the REAL reason you are asking is that it is YOU who is going on the swingers site behind your partners back.
you place an advert and hope that you can have some ilicit fun without him finding out.
everything is going fine until sudenly, you realise that deleting the history on the desktop does not remove every trace of your visits here!
shit!!!!!!!
what are you going to do???
i know, join the forum and make a post telling people you have only just joined, and for the sole reason of checking up on your partner.
that way, if he logs on he wont think you have been upto anything bad.
only problem is - if he KNOWS he did not log on first, he might wonder a bit!
IF that was true, i would suggest honesty with your partner, no one here should judge you on what you chose to do, if you want to meet behind his back, it is between the two of you and no one else. but hubby may not take it quite as well as that.
i wish you the best of luck, whatever you decide.
as you have already been told, there are a lot of people here who just socialise, thats fine - i am frinds with a lot of them myself, but if that is all you want to do, and you want to tell your partner its all you are here for, removing the advert may be a good step in convincing him.
anyway, welcome to the site. i hope you both enjoy it here.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
your imediate reaction was to join yourself and place yourself an advert looking for other men.
then a month later you think to ask around about the reasons your partner may be using the site?
ok, now i have got that straight in my mind......................................................
..................................................lets pretend that the REAL reason you are asking is that it is YOU who is going on the swingers site behind your partners back.
you place an advert and hope that you can have some ilicit fun without him finding out.
everything is going fine until sudenly, you realise that deleting the history on the desktop does not remove every trace of your visits here!
shit!!!!!!!
what are you going to do???
i know, join the forum and make a post telling people you have only just joined, and for the sole reason of checking up on your partner.
that way, if he logs on he wont think you have been upto anything bad.
only problem is - if he KNOWS he did not log on first, he might wonder a bit!
IF that was true, i would suggest honesty with your partner, no one here should judge you on what you chose to do, if you want to meet behind his back, it is between the two of you and no one else. but hubby may not take it quite as well as that.
i wish you the best of luck, whatever you decide.
as you have already been told, there are a lot of people here who just socialise, thats fine - i am frinds with a lot of them myself, but if that is all you want to do, and you want to tell your partner its all you are here for, removing the advert may be a good step in convincing him.
anyway, welcome to the site. i hope you both enjoy it here.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sex God
Conspiracy theorists must be having orgasms over this! 
I just think it's amusing that all the single guys who are really couples as their partners don't know about the using this will be thinking - 'Shit! Has she found me out? how to play this - what's my excuse, can I turn this development to my advantage? As she's here - does this mean we can swing as a couple?'
I just think it's amusing that all the single guys who are really couples as their partners don't know about the using this will be thinking - 'Shit! Has she found me out? how to play this - what's my excuse, can I turn this development to my advantage? As she's here - does this mean we can swing as a couple?'
