This thread is prompted by a conversation I was having last night with a fellow SH-er.
We were talking about the pressure to perform (or not) that is inherently there when you attend a club or have arranged a meet with someone. When you have perhaps chatted to someone for a while and finally arrange the meet, you want to make sure you don't disappoint, right? And, at a club, there can be a more public element to this performance anxiety.
So, the upshot of our conversation was that we felt this pressure is far more acute for men than women. What do you think? Do women suffer performance anxiety the same as men? Is it gender neutral or, given the biological 'workings', is it harder for men than women?
Nola x
I have had a couple who have had "stage fright"
The guys obviously have it harder (!) than us ladies.
Its just the nature of the game I surpose, would never knock a guy for it though.
I am with a previous poster, with the, hope they like/fancy me type of thought!
I have had stage fright and its nothing to do with not fancying the person I was with. In fact I really fancied the person and wanted very much to enter (he he) into the spirit of things.
It's so much easier to be a girly. :twisted:
Been there, done that, wore the t-shirt of shame.
However from my experiences, I do have my own theory.
I find my own worries tend to be centred upon if I think the person(s) I am with simply see me as little more than an "alternative cock". If there is no attempt made to garner some form of other intimacy other than a desperate need to get a part of me inside you, then I feel you are going to be bitterly disappointed and I am going to feel rather anxious about the whole thing. If it is simply "a cock (of whatever size, but I seldom see signs asking for a small one)" you seek, then I am so not the right person to be interested in.
Alternatively, if you are interested in me and my psyche and what I like and dislike, and even better, if they match up, and you are prepared to explore the other sides of sex, other than the frantic chase to orgasm and the desperate plugging of various holes, then I'm more comfortable with that.
The first way made me feel cheap. I felt like a hired cock. Simply After the initial rush of nerves and excitement had passed and I looked for that something extra that made it special to me, it was then that I realised that I mattered less than the fact I was different to the norm. It was soulless, rushed, frantic and somewhat dispiriting and deflating. (Yes make of that what you will). I have to say that this frantic "notches on the bed post" aspect of swinging, while some love the continual change, absolutely terrifies me on a large number of levels. It is something Mrs R and I could never do.
The second way I did literally (and for the only time) fuck all night. By that i don't mean continual ramming away like a traction engine. But exploring all sides of what we liked and enjoyed from kissing and touching through to some light BDSM.
I would rather have just 1 experience like the second, than any number of the first.
I don't know if it is easier being a girly. In terms of physicality and being able to perform, it is. I mean if push comes to shove you can lie back, open up and think of Brad Pitt or a Terry's Chocolate Orange. However I think for many girls being invaded is as frightening as it us to men being suitably equipped to be the invader.
Our bits are generally best assumed to be like taxi's. You see them continually around until you really, really need one, then they tend to be far more sporadic, if they turn up at all. When they do they are usually late, overrated and entirely disappointing.
:rotflmao: :rotflmao:
