I wonder if anyone else is as perplexed as me. Why do some 'str8' guys look for bi males, bi couples, couple with bi male etc etc on their profile, then when asked about it in chat they say 'oh that was a mistake' or 'i thought it would improve my chances of a meet'.
Surely if you're a straight male you arent interested in bi guys. Or if you are bi curious, then you aren't str8, you're bi curious. Its simple really.
But the main thing that baffles me is why its so often a mistake, and once you are in a situation where the guy thinks he is has a vague chance of meeting you, they go off and change their profile to suit the current situation.
Any logical explanation would be most welcome.
Thanks
Goldsmith
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To Bi or not To Bi
Thank god it's just not us, we have found this as well and had the same experience's, have had various different explanations to it as well...one guy said it was because he was happy to play in a mmf situation but as far as I can tell you don't have to be bi to do that...!
Have even like you said had guys change their profile to suit, we aren't interested in bi or curious guys just our preference and a guy says he will meet bi male's/ couple we don't give him a 2nd glance..
I know as a single guy you can't be all things to all people but at least be true to yourself!
Sam x
Have even like you said had guys change their profile to suit, we aren't interested in bi or curious guys just our preference and a guy says he will meet bi male's/ couple we don't give him a 2nd glance..
I know as a single guy you can't be all things to all people but at least be true to yourself!
Sam x
Sex God
Quote by goldsmith
I wonder if anyone else is as perplexed as me. Why do some 'str8' guys look for bi males, bi couples, couple with bi male etc etc
why wouldnt they, they are just keeping their options open..maybe you didnt realise bi males dont have to play Bi cant understand what it is you are getting at.. by including a cpls scenario in your post.. should every straight woman never play with bi fem cpls? im lost here as to what the issue is.. you wouldnt be assuming that Bi guys have to play Bi would you??? heaven forbid
Quote by goldsmith
Surely if you're a straight male you arent interested in bi guys. Or if you are bi curious, then you aren't str8, you're bi curious. Its simple really.
no the straight male would be interested in the bi guys wife..or maybe interested in the watching the male and female fuck.. would that make him bi..if so perhaps everyone that watches hetro porn is bi by default.. ooh its not that simple now is it?
Quote by goldsmith
But the main thing that baffles me is why its so often a mistake, and once you are in a situation where the guy thinks he is has a vague chance of meeting you, they go off and change their profile to suit the current situation.
Any logical explanation would be most welcome.
Thanks
Goldsmith
maybe some bi guys say they are straight because of the prejudice to Bi sexual people from people who have no idea what being bi is all about...
not condoning it of course but really at the end of the day what the hell does it matter?
Staggy (Bi sexual and swung loads, played bi on rare occasions)
simply a remnant of "social handicap", connected with identifying oneself with anything other than straight..and hence declaring oneself "less of a man" and by extention a lesser human being, with the idea that even here someone might get judgemental about it, starting with our mirrors...quite silly, really.
but then, I don't really know how the mind works, when faced with such a "identity crysis"..as so far I haven't been bitten by the "letstryacock" bug.
A.
but then, I don't really know how the mind works, when faced with such a "identity crysis"..as so far I haven't been bitten by the "letstryacock" bug.
A.
Simple, there's still seems to be more of a stigma attached to male bi-curiousity (even here!) than with females.
My experience is that 6/10 males on here.. at Dogging sites, at Clubs are at least bi-curious, that seeems to increase to 9/10 when a sexy female is thrown into the equation.
More and more for me nowadays, gender is becoming less important in sexually charged situations..after a basic respect for preferences, likes and dislikes and 'no-no's'... being relaxed, turned on, feeling dirty about what's going on around me and what I'm involved in turns me on far more than whether or not someone is male or female.
x
My experience is that 6/10 males on here.. at Dogging sites, at Clubs are at least bi-curious, that seeems to increase to 9/10 when a sexy female is thrown into the equation.
More and more for me nowadays, gender is becoming less important in sexually charged situations..after a basic respect for preferences, likes and dislikes and 'no-no's'... being relaxed, turned on, feeling dirty about what's going on around me and what I'm involved in turns me on far more than whether or not someone is male or female.
x Sex God
Quote by BIoke
Simple, there's still seems to be more of a stigma attached to male bi-curiousity (even here!) than with females.
My experience is that 6/10 males on here.. at Dogging sites, at Clubs are at least bi-curious, that seeems to increase to 9/10 when a sexy female is thrown into the equation.
More and more for me nowadays, gender is becoming less important in sexually charged situations..after a basic respect for preferences, likes and dislikes and 'no-no's'... being relaxed, turned on, feeling dirty about what's going on around me and what I'm involved in turns me on far more than whether or not someone is male or female.
bbbb but its more than that though.. straight guys ..why on earth wouldn't they want to play with Bi couples..as much as they would want to play with straight couples??? why would they want to limit the number of couples they could potentially play with
eg single straight guy been on here six months will not play with anyone that is bi sexual.. under the assumptions that A/ he may compromise his own sexuality! lol cant believe im typing this..B/ be predated upon by the bi male..C/ will be more likely to catch summat! dont like including the last one but ive heard it said. D/ some other reason?please enlighten me
straight guy that doesnt mind playing with other bi male couples ...and lets say that the scene is half and half A/ has twice the likely hood of a meet!
now theres a damn good reason for straight guys not to stipulate No Bi sexual men please! by including them in what they are looking for
as for the straight guys that want just single bi sexual men..well im sure they have a use for them ..ive heard of some guys that consider themselves straighter than mr straight the mayor of straight town as they only receive BJs off other guys... ive met straight guys that are Bi when no ones looking or listening and ive met Bi guys that would always put they are straight for fear of 'it' getting out to family and friends ..people they wouldnt care knowing that they are shagging lots of girls on a swinging site..
i was going to say who cares about labels..i dont but i know for sure by reading profiles many of you really really do!
staggy
For God's sake all I was getting at was the fact that guys who are str8 won't, by the very implication of being str8, play with bi guys, so why look for them in their profile. Perhaps I am being naiive, perhaps being mixed up is all part of this merrygoround we call swinging. I have seen enough chips on shoulders to realise that some people really dont know what they are or what they want.
The other major point was that some guys seem to change their profile to suit the moment, and i have seen this happen on numerous occasions. Some guys will change their profile three or four times a week, just to suit the person they are trying to meet.
I have no problem with bi or bi curious guys at all, or gay guys, but I have a choice and choose not to meet them for sexual purposes. Some of my best mates are bi or gay, but I choose not to have sex with them.
I just wish some people were honest and consistent thats all.
Those are my points!!
Goldsmith
xx
The other major point was that some guys seem to change their profile to suit the moment, and i have seen this happen on numerous occasions. Some guys will change their profile three or four times a week, just to suit the person they are trying to meet.
I have no problem with bi or bi curious guys at all, or gay guys, but I have a choice and choose not to meet them for sexual purposes. Some of my best mates are bi or gay, but I choose not to have sex with them.
I just wish some people were honest and consistent thats all.
Those are my points!!
Goldsmith
xx
Quote by DeeCee
to be honest the arrogant twat aint worth a reply
this is not just a straight guy hang up as the lady here dont wanna be suckin on a cock thats been up an arsehole thats all i gotta say
is that a mans bum or a womans bum??
and how would one know for sure??one wouldnt
but if peeps told the truth it might help thats all the post meant and mr arrogant cam shy started spouting
Quote by goldsmithI think the answer is, there is no clear line. Like someone said, add a keen lady or two to the mix and bi starts to mean something other than it would another time.
...
Any logical explanation would be most welcome.
Thanks
Goldsmith
Who used 'bi tolerant', it is not a bad term. As the years go by I am discovering it is easier to tolerate some interaction. How far I would let that go is unclear, but I would never call myself bi.
Travis
something i've discovered - is that everyone uses their profiles in different ways
I'm more interested in the profiles that have something written and at least a few pics - gives me a start on the person/couple
I've never taken much notice on what the profile says they are looking for in terms of straight, bi, male fem etc unless its written in the text - the rest is just ticking boxes and i've never been a 'box ticking' person
For me, profiles are the start of getting to know someone - hanging a label on anyone is wrong IMHO, but hanging one on them before you've even got to know them, well.....i'll never understand that.
I'm a bi curious woman according to our profile - but thats only because I have to tick a box to explain - what i really am is completely dependant on who, what, why, when.......another reason why I dont judge folks on the 'boxes' they've had to tick to define themselves
Others dont use their profiles in this way - that's up to them
I'm more interested in the profiles that have something written and at least a few pics - gives me a start on the person/couple
I've never taken much notice on what the profile says they are looking for in terms of straight, bi, male fem etc unless its written in the text - the rest is just ticking boxes and i've never been a 'box ticking' person
For me, profiles are the start of getting to know someone - hanging a label on anyone is wrong IMHO, but hanging one on them before you've even got to know them, well.....i'll never understand that.
I'm a bi curious woman according to our profile - but thats only because I have to tick a box to explain - what i really am is completely dependant on who, what, why, when.......another reason why I dont judge folks on the 'boxes' they've had to tick to define themselves
Others dont use their profiles in this way - that's up to them
Quote by dorkandwindy
to be honest the arrogant twat aint worth a reply
this is not just a straight guy hang up as the lady here dont wanna be suckin on a cock thats been up an arsehole thats all i gotta say
have i missed something? ? ? I thought all the replys to the op were relevant to the discussion and who's being arrogant has missed me completely??
Quote by davidsanction
to be honest the arrogant twat aint worth a reply
this is not just a straight guy hang up as the lady here dont wanna be suckin on a cock thats been up an arsehole thats all i gotta say
have i missed something? ? ? I thought all the replys to the op were relevant to the discussion and who's being arrogant has missed me completely??
I think its best not to go there...
Its not me... and I dont think its you either!!!
Quote by davidsanction
something i've discovered - is that everyone uses their profiles in different ways
I'm more interested in the profiles that have something written and at least a few pics - gives me a start on the person/couple
I've never taken much notice on what the profile says they are looking for in terms of straight, bi, male fem etc unless its written in the text - the rest is just ticking boxes and i've never been a 'box ticking' person
For me, profiles are the start of getting to know someone - hanging a label on anyone is wrong IMHO, but hanging one on them before you've even got to know them, well.....i'll never understand that.
I'm a bi curious woman according to our profile - but thats only because I have to tick a box to explain - what i really am is completely dependant on who, what, why, when.......another reason why I dont judge folks on the 'boxes' they've had to tick to define themselves
Others dont use their profiles in this way - that's up to them
What a sensible post. Yes profile text is the best way to say stuff about yourself, but the point I am making is when I have clearly said I don't play with bi or bi curious guys, its because I choose not to play with them. I have no intolerance of bi males at all. It's up to the individual who they play with, and all I am saying is I don't play with bi or bi curious males, and the honesty factor was what I was questioning, guys who change their profile to suit the current circumstances. I was not making any judgement on their sexual status or preference at all.
Its not a matter of hanging a label on anyone, people do that themselves when they describe themselves as bi or bi curious or whatever, and that, of course is right, so those reading the information can start to make a clear judgement and choose whether to meet/interract this person or not.
I will give an example: Recently I was contacted by a very nice and charming single guy. We got to know each other via chat. The possibility of a meet came up, but when I mentioned that I don't meet bi or bi curious guys, he said he was str8, and I asked why then was he looking for bi and bi curious males on his profile.
He got very defensive and then turned a little sour. He came back to me a few days later saying it was ok now as he had changed his profile, bless him.
During further chat, I pointed out that I am not happy interracting with people who just change boxes and/or text to suit the current criteria. He seemed flabbergasted, he had said he was just ticking the boxes to keep his options open, and that is where I just don't get it. We remained mates in the chatroom, and still chat to this day. I would have no problem meeting this man socially, as he is a nice guy. But he feels that I am being a little unfair and unreasonable. I feel I am being totally fair by saying what I think and being consistent.
I certainly don't judge people on what they are, as we are all individuals, and thank goodness for that.
Goldsmith
I don't want to knowingly meet men who have had sex with other men, simply because I give blood and don't want to have to tick that box on the donor form as a 'yes'. I feel that my donation is more important than expanding my choice of sexual partners, so I will not entertain a meet under those circumstances. I have no issues with gay, bi or bi-curious men on a social level, and there are plenty of men out there who at least give the impression of being straight. I always insist on condoms anyway, but for blood donation that doesn't count any more.
Master of Sex
Quote by fluff_n_stuff
there is a question on the donor form asking if you have had sex with a bi man? :shock:
I'm genuinely surprised
They ask if you have had sex with a man who has ever had intercourse or oral sex with another man even with a condom.
Judging by the number of 'bi male/married/cd/tv/curious/suck-unload-and-leave/yadda yadda' rooms oh SH alone the chances are, yes you have.
If every bloke was absolutely 100% honest about male encounters - even one offs out of curiosity - (and I can see why they wouldn't be judging by the stigma still attached) and the blood banks of the UK were dependant on taking blood from people who had NEVER encountered a man who had indulged in a bit of male on male play then there would probably be barely enough in their reserves to give a transfusion to someone who had cut themselves shaving.
Just my tuppenceworth
Sugar x
Quote by fluff_n_stuff
I agree but I don't have to tick the box until I knowingly have sex with a man who has experienced a sex act with another man. They do not yet ask if you swingalthough it might make introductions a little easier
Now comes that question, what is Sex? When is a touch Sex? If a guy roles a condom on to another guy, and then turns him loose on his wife, is that Sex? If a guy wanks another off, is that Sex? If a guy places his fingers around a penis that is in his wife, who is he have Sex with?
Quote by
I agree but I don't have to tick the box until I knowingly have sex with a man who has experienced a sex act with another man. They do not yet ask if you swing
Now comes that question, what is Sex? When is a touch Sex? If a guy roles a condom on to another guy, and then turns him loose on his wife, is that Sex? If a guy wanks another off, is that Sex? If a guy places his fingers around a penis that is in his wife, who is he have Sex with?
From memory, I believe they specify 'a man who has had sexual intercourse or oral sex with another man, with or without a condom'. I don't know if that would bar a woman from donating but it hasn't been an issue for me. Yet.
Sex God
Quote by BIoke
Simple, there's still seems to be more of a stigma attached to male bi-curiousity (even here!) than with females.
My experience is that 6/10 males on here.. at Dogging sites, at Clubs are at least bi-curious, that seeems to increase to 9/10 when a sexy female is thrown into the equation.
More and more for me nowadays, gender is becoming less important in sexually charged situations..after a basic respect for preferences, likes and dislikes and 'no-no's'... being relaxed, turned on, feeling dirty about what's going on around me and what I'm involved in turns me on far more than whether or not someone is male or female.
:thumbup:
Master of Sex
Quote by fluff_n_stuff
I agree but I don't have to tick the box until I knowingly have sex with a man who has experienced a sex act with another man. They do not yet ask if you swing
Now comes that question, what is Sex? When is a touch Sex? If a guy roles a condom on to another guy, and then turns him loose on his wife, is that Sex? If a guy wanks another off, is that Sex? If a guy places his fingers around a penis that is in his wife, who is he have Sex with?
From memory, I believe they specify 'a man who has had sexual intercourse or oral sex with another man, with or without a condom'. I don't know if that would bar a woman from donating but it hasn't been an issue for me. Yet.
I think they're going to have to extend the list ...
'Please do not donate if you are a female who has shared a dildo with a with another female who has had an encounter with a bi male (even if he was wearing a haz chem suit)' :lol:
Quote by fluff_n_stuff
I agree but I don't have to tick the box until I knowingly have sex with a man who has experienced a sex act with another man. They do not yet ask if you swing
Now comes that question, what is Sex? When is a touch Sex? If a guy roles a condom on to another guy, and then turns him loose on his wife, is that Sex? If a guy wanks another off, is that Sex? If a guy places his fingers around a penis that is in his wife, who is he have Sex with?
From memory, I believe they specify 'a man who has had sexual intercourse or oral sex with another man, with or without a condom'. I don't know if that would bar a woman from donating but it hasn't been an issue for me. Yet.
I was thinking about ticking the box in the SH profile, not blood donors.
know what u mean my ex is still saying he's only stright when clearly he wasn't for seeing men.
they werent from this site. so to me it was classed as cheating. has we never aggreed to go on any other site bar this one. behide my back.
but yet he still goes into the bi rooms on here? just don't get it too. and yes his profile states he's still stright mm x
all i can say is i wish him well on his confuson of what and who he wants to be.
they werent from this site. so to me it was classed as cheating. has we never aggreed to go on any other site bar this one. behide my back.
but yet he still goes into the bi rooms on here? just don't get it too. and yes his profile states he's still stright mm x
all i can say is i wish him well on his confuson of what and who he wants to be.
Sex God
Quote by dorkandwindy
to be honest the arrogant twat aint worth a reply
this is not just a straight guy hang up as the lady here dont wanna be suckin on a cock thats been up an arsehole thats all i gotta say
is that a mans bum or a womans bum??
and how would one know for sure??one wouldnt
but if peeps told the truth it might help thats all the post meant
I took out the last bit for the purposes of what I am about to ask....
So in effect is there a difference between anal sex between 2 men, and anal sex between a man and a woman????
I take it that you are asking all the people couples and singles if they have had anal then?
just really curious now.....
