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top tips. Whats yours?
Sex God
Quote by angieyorkshire
Don't hide chocolate down your tights
Why would you do that anyway?
Or tickle your granny while she's shaving? :shock:
Or have eggs in your pocket? And are hard-boiled eggs OK to put in your pockets?
Sex God
Dont eat curry if you live in a submarine :eeek:
Warming the Bed
As soon as we have a bit of snow someone always gives this useful tip.....
Don't eat the yellow snow!
Don't eat the yellow snow!
Sex God
Top tip for newbies
Don't upset Jags :scared:
Don't upset Jags :scared:
Sex God
Don't keep the Deep Heat cream in the same drawer as your KY.
:shock:
:shock:
Quote by foxylady2209
Don't keep the Deep Heat cream in the same drawer as your KY.
:shock:
Ouch :shock: details please :twisted:
My tip
If you want you guy to last longer simple!, just tell him little things that may slow him down.
such as..
I wonder what your motherinlaw would look like in thongs.
I had the runs this morning.
I once had a serious case of green fanny rot.
I forgot to wash it since last time.
Is it in yet?
Can i go and buy a new pair of shoes now?
Hope you don't catch my yeast infection.
I need a huge dump.
Then there is noises that can be made like
Loud farts.
big belches.
Yawns
grunts of boredom.
or maybe you could start singing a nice tune 1/2 way though like the spitting image song?
ohhhhh oh hold a chicken in the air stick a deckchair up your nose, skin yourself alive.......
Of course these are only idea's, you could think of many of your own :lol:
Shaz x
P.S we don't actually use any of these but thought it would be a good tip for others :lol:
Sexlightened
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Sexlightened
Food tip: The text below the picture of Anthony Worral Thompson on a pack of his branded sausages which says "Prick with a fork" is not the cooking instructions.
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: Sex God
Quote by da69ve
Never cook a pizza with the plastic still on it!
Run Dave, before H'red catches you :giggle:
Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on.
Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the loo seat by simply p*ssing in the sink.
Have all your dumps at work. Not only will you save money on toilet paper, but you'll also be getting paid for it.
Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the loo seat by simply p*ssing in the sink.
Have all your dumps at work. Not only will you save money on toilet paper, but you'll also be getting paid for it.
