Aquilo's Profile

26 Apr 2008

Quote by winchwench
But how else do you prove how masculine you are to another male

With lots of ball scratching, inane swearing,... farting's good too (smellier the better!)... oh, and a healthy imagination when it comes to recalling the number of women one has 'had'... er... at the same time... er... today!

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22 Apr 2008

Thanks for the memories of Golden Cups... mmmmmmmmm!
How about:
Bar Six
Tiffin
Olde English Spangles
Shrimps
Barley Sugar Sticks

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16 Apr 2008

Quote by H-x
I trained in photo-retouching before photoshop came along (yes I am that old) so I'm fully aware of what's possible. I do know lots of photographers and artist locally but none of whom I wish do disrobe infront of as most are friends and I'd like to keep it that way. I'm not sure about Sassy but I wasn't looking for photos for my profile, they were for me to feel good about myself, a little ego boost if you will. I don't think a tier on a camera phone would help.
H.x

I really do understand your plight, being photographed is a very intimate and self-concious experience, especially if you want glamour-type shots.
I wish you luck finding someone H-x... and the same goes to all female members having the same problem.
Peace
Aq

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16 Apr 2008

New Year's Resolutions...
TV programmes that 'involve' the public by letting them part with their hard earned cash to vote for some loser or another to win... it's STILL rigged!
Harry Potter...
Posh & Becks...

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16 Apr 2008

Quote by H-x
Aquilo, we get the point but if you're on your own, how do you get the initial photo? I've got long arms but they're not that long.
H.x

Hi H-x... as I've kept saying, I'm suggesting improving existing photo's... surely all of us have at least some of those?
However to answer your question regarding the long arms...
...use the timer... even mobile phone camera's have a timer function these days! With a bit of practice jumping quickly into a pose you'd be suprised what positions you can get yourself into! (the trick is not to start laughing and miss the shot).
Of course you won't get Pro quality images, but you can achieve something more than adequate for your profile. Also, if you have a close female friend locally, why not have a photo session taking each others picture?... it's fun!...
Finally, to clarify, I initially made a suggestion that I thought may be useful to at least some of the large number of female members that are finding it very difficult to find, or trust, a decent photographer. My suggestion was as a back-up alternative to that problem, not as a 'better than' solution, and certainly not as an absolute solution.
Maybe I should just have done the usual guy thing and offered to turn up with my 'Box Brownie', a lump in my trousers, and a camera case full of wishful thinking! :twisted:
Good luck to all in your search...
Peace
Aq

Quote by Sarah
Any chance you can make them fit on the page please,
Thank you.

Apologies... done! smile

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16 Apr 2008

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15 Apr 2008

On a positive note regarding the disciples of Hip-Hop in my town...
I find them to be very giving people... always willing to leave their windows down whilst driving through the town centre (even when it's sub-zero outside) so everybody can enjoy their fare!
As for Wunderhorse saying "Hip - Hop is like Punk Music in fact they are linked by Rick Rubin. Both styles just piss people off & that's what so great about both styles of music."
...it seems a liitle immature think that music is great because it pisses people off, there are many reasons why music could be called great but... seriously?, 'cos it pisses people off?... and I'm not sure what the point of naming Rick Rubin was?... sure he played in Hose (later Def Jam) but what does that show... other than he had a change of musical direction?
Bottom line is:
You like Jay-Z, Hip-Hop, etc... as the lady on TittyTittyBangBang would say "Good.. For.. You!"
Some people have different tastes... accept it... ya certainly can't change it.
Hope you have a great time at Glastonbury...
Peace
Aq

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15 Apr 2008

Quote by helnheaven
It was so amazing...cos i got high, I felt like a firestarter.
Suddenly it stopped and she said, you know what...the first time ever I saw your face, i felt sick inside, that hurt, and i cried like a baby.
she said, hey fat joe, dont worry, be happy, and lip up fatty
She made me feel like Mr Blobby, why didnt she just leave me alone
i wished someone would help....just then........

she turned a whiter shade of pale, for who should walk in just then but Ra-ra-Rasputin. He said to her "you Sexy Motherf*cker" and she...
...said are you from Russia with love? - I thought you were Back in the USSR.
Ra-Ra said 'With this name I should Walk like and Egyptian but I just keep....'
.
...doing the funky gibbon and with that....
... he got down to some Sexual Healing with A Boy Called Sue... The Times They Are A'Changin'... he said as he

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15 Apr 2008

Many years ago I had a Suzuki GT750 motorbike and my girlfriend of the time used to love putting her arms around me while out for a run at night (tho the day was occasionally done too)... unzipping AND unbuttoning my pants... and bringing me to orgasm while doing stupid speeds, which was reckless I know but hey.. I was 19!
The Suzuki was an old two-stroke... me too sometimes!
Peace
Aq

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15 Apr 2008

Jay-Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!
Yo! Yo! I'm here at Glasto...
Tellin' all you hippies 'bout my favourite Ho...
I know you wanna hear about my chrome-plated Benz...
... so how come y'all are splashing in the mud wit' ya friends?
And to all you purist's thinkin' that ain't Hip-Hop.. it's Rap...
I apologise profusely but... they're both fookin' crap!

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15 Apr 2008

Hey all...
just thought I'd give an example of what I've been harping on about!...
Below is a generic photograph which has been poorly taken (in terms of composition and exposure mainly)

None of the techniques used to alter the image are 'rocket-science'... especially the ones used to attain the second image, most people with a basic grasp of using windows could achieve those effects within an hour or two of installing the software (of which there are expensive titles like Photoshop, but you can pick up perfectly good freeware... FREE!)
Peace
Aq

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15 Apr 2008

Quote by bbw_lover

My point about Photoshop is not that it replaces the need for good pictures with good composition, lighting, etc... but that, IF YOU DON'T HAVE THE SKILLS OR EQUIPMENT to take the quality of shot you desire, it can help make your existing images much more vibrant and attractive.
bbw_lover says:
"Lots of people think you can get any old picture and tart it up with photoshop.....
.......Sorry for the slight rant it's just that being a graphic designer, with experience of photography, I come across this all the time."
Who are these people?... most people I know who take bad images have no idea what Photoshop is, let alone have knowledge of it's capabilities!
You're missing the point of the comment bbw_lover... you have years of experience like myself... and so of course YOU know about the importance of a good quality photo/image... but the info in this thread was meant for the majority of people who do NOT have either the technical or artistic expertise, or the time!, to produce the desired results 'organically'.
So, the idea was to point out that... if you have images ALREADY that you wish looked better, then it is possible in Photoshop to enhance them and at least make them more pleasing to the eye. The key word in that last sentence was ALREADY.

Sorry Aquilo, I don't know what's made you so angry, but I understood the request was for a a photographer. I think most people would find Photoshop extremely difficult to use and a bit of an expense to boot.
Also I was merely agreeing with H-x. Perhaps I didn't express myself clearly enough but you seem to have taken it personally?????
And finally in answer to your question "Who are these people?... ", these people are the ones I come into contact with, on a daily basis, during the course of my work, and most of them are aware of photoshop.
Unfortunately this doesn't preclude them from taking bad photos. Knowledge and experience are not necessarily the same thing.
I just wanted to clear things up and this is by no means intended as a confrontational response.
confused

: :?: :?:
I can assure you bbw_lover that there is no anger on my part, I was merely replying to your own, in your own words, "slight rant" which I felt was more of a general sweeping statement than a helpful comment. If it came across to you as aggressive in any way please accept my apology, it wasn't meant in that way.
I think that sometimes when a person tries to place emphasis on the keywords in a sentence (by using bold or italic text) it can seem as if that person is 'angry' or 'shouting'... once again I can only say this was not the case.
I accept that you understood that the request was for a photographer... but when you read through the thread there are so many women who are finding it very difficult to find a suitable one... for varying reasons... and so saying that Photoshop is no substitute for a well composed & shot photograph, while quite true, is of little help to them.
Anyhoo.....

Quote by razor_wire
Just a little word of caution, I asked someone i thought I knew well to take some ermm underwear and a little more showing pics, they were good, well I liked them, seemed he liked them even more and they ended up in a top shelf mag about 6 months later,not in 1 but about 5 different editions,seems he had sold them on, this was done without my consent!! Soooo choose carefully who takes them xx

That's totally out of order... if you didn't sign a Model Release Form then the guy may have broken the law, especially if he accepted money in return from the top shelf mags in question. This is yet another reason why I feel that enhancing your existing images in Photoshop (or Paintshop Pro... or any number of cheap/free alternatives) is a valid option for all the females out there... you won't get the quality of a professional shoot, but your pics remain in your control! Of course you're not going to get studio quality images, but with a little practice you can vastly improve on badly lit, badly framed originals.
Peace
Aq

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14 Apr 2008

Quote by H-x
Speaking for myself (wouldn't dream of spaeking for Sassy) I'd like some up to date photos. I can't tut at people having old pics on here when my own are two years old. I could try to do them myself again, but using a camera on a timer switch is laborious and the outcome is never that good. Finding a professional or semi-professional who's willing to take the kind of shots I'm after isn't that easy, you can't just stroll into Olan Mills and start taking your kit off, you get thrown out (no imagination those people).
H.x

Sorry if I helped to take it off track H-x... it just baffles me why people have to come across with a negative vibe for no valid reason! confused

*Negative vibe?... 60's flashback man!!*
In reference to you getting new photographs, I understand how difficult it is for women to have this sort of shot taken but maybe this idea may help?
Why not arrange to meet with one or two other members that:
a) you know
b) want new photographs taking themselves
meet at one of your houses, book a photographer (semi or pro), and have your pics done individually (but at the same time!).
This way you get a photographer MUCH cheaper (though I can't believe you wouldn't find a local amateur to do it for free!), and you would all have the added safety of being there for each other instead of the daunting thought of meeting your photographer alone.
Peace
Aq

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14 Apr 2008

Quote by bbw_lover
You still need a photographer to take pictures to make them more interesting. Photoshop can help but you still need a photograph to begin with.
H.x

You're absolutely right H. Photoshop can do a lot of clever things but the real trick is getting a good photo to begin with. Lots of people think you can get any old picture and tart it up with photoshop, but this is not true. You also need to get a good quality, well composed, picture from the outset, which can then give you the flexibility to bounce the quality down if you need too.
Despite what many think it's not so easy the other way around. Also by making sure you've got a good quality photo from the start saves you a lot of unnecessary messing about in Photoshop, and some of the creativity is easy and quicker to do when you're taking the actual photo.
Sorry for the slight rant it's just that being a graphic designer, with experience of photography, I come across this all the time.
redface

My point about Photoshop is not that it replaces the need for good pictures with good composition, lighting, etc... but that, IF YOU DON'T HAVE THE SKILLS OR EQUIPMENT to take the quality of shot you desire, it can help make your existing images much more vibrant and attractive.
bbw_lover says:
"Lots of people think you can get any old picture and tart it up with photoshop.....
.......Sorry for the slight rant it's just that being a graphic designer, with experience of photography, I come across this all the time."
Who are these people?... most people I know who take bad images have no idea what Photoshop is, let alone have knowledge of it's capabilities!
You're missing the point of the comment bbw_lover... you have years of experience like myself... and so of course YOU know about the importance of a good quality photo/image... but the info in this thread was meant for the majority of people who do NOT have either the technical or artistic expertise, or the time!, to produce the desired results 'organically'.
So, the idea was to point out that... if you have images ALREADY that you wish looked better, then it is possible in Photoshop to enhance them and at least make them more pleasing to the eye. The key word in that last sentence was ALREADY.

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13 Apr 2008

Quote by Freckledbird
Well you didn't offend me Aquilo - it's just a bit of a concern that the images can be copied and cleaned of the watermark, really. I'm sure you didn't mean anything other than trying to be helpful though

Thanks for that Freckledbird...
I was just trying to show that Sassy's photographs could be made more eye-catching with very little work. As I said before, I would never have used explicit shots... but I accept the reasoning of the comments and my apology stands. My actions were borne out of male 'lack of common sense!'
Peace
Aq

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13 Apr 2008

Quote by Freckledbird
Maybe this is just me... but I feel a bit uncomfortable with members taking other members' photos and messing around with them...
Am sure you meant it with the best intentions Aquilo, but I'd be a tad livid if that'd been my photos.
In fact... think am off to make all of mine private now. This thread has perturbed me somewhat.
Nola x

Must admit, I'm inclined to agree with you - particularly as the watermark has been removed from the boots picture.
It appears I have made an error of judgement... I did not mean to cause offence and to those concerned I apologise.
I have now removed the images and they will not return!
The reason I used Sassy's own non-explicit pics was to show her, and other members, the effects that can be achieved very quickly using Photoshop on images you may think are poor. I felt that seeing images that she was familiar with would enhance the effect, and I chose two images that were NOT explicit, I would NOT have posted naked pics.
On reflection I now wish I'd used generic landscape pics to show the effect... or not bothered at all! :?
I suddenly feel so dirty.... redface

Once again, to those concerned, I apologise sincerely.

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13 Apr 2008

Quote by Sassy-Seren
What's the best way to go about getting hold of a discreet photgrapher?
I want someone to take some nice ( and flattering! :shock: ) photos for my profile and stuff. Nothing too in-yer-face, no gash shots and stuff :scared: just sexy erotica, lingerie and maybe some neked stuff.
Any ideas guys?
btw....I don't mean some bugger with a hard on turning up with his 2mega pixel digicam!

Hi Sassy,
If you lived a bit closer I'd offer my services, I'm not a Pro Photographer I'm a Network Engineer... but I've been a keen amateur for over 20 years.
You could approach your local camera club... they are always looking for models... but you would probably have to let them keep copies of the photographs taken and, to be honest, camera clubs can be frequented by 'voyeur' types on nights including a female model... so be cautious!
Alternatively, I've noticed with a lot of the pics that people put on their profiles that they just need a little adjustment in Photoshop.
Let me show you what I mean:
The first image is the original from your profile, the second is a levels adjusted version;
REMOVED BY AQUILO IN RESPONSE TO COMMENTS BELOW
Or... sometimes warming an image with a little colour can help:
REMOVED BY AQUILO IN RESPONSE TO COMMENTS BELOW
Also... if you have pics that you like of yourself but that have other people in them (i.e. people who wouldn't thank you for putting them in your profile), then they can be removed using Photoshop, or even just blurred out in a soft focus way.
In reference to the AUP comments... I would have thought the ruling on posts regarding swapping pics, vids, services, etc is there to stop people using the site for financial gain.. for example Photographers, Agencies, Web Sites, etc. As a full member... nay, an eXtra's member!... I would feel more than a little annoyed to be told that it was not permitted for me to swap pics with friends I meet here, whether it be to help them with a pic for their profile or not! I understand why the rule is there, but it needs to be moderated in a sensible way that is best for the members... and as long as the posts are made in the swinging sharing spirit of the site itself!
Peace
Aq

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12 Apr 2008

Quote by Rich_and_dee
The up side its fantastic.
Downside is the amount of laundry I have to wash :cry:
I was once asked if I had thought about bottling the liquid and selling it on ebay
"Eau de Dee"
Starting bid 50p
dee

I think it would sell better with a 'catchy' brand name before the "Eau de Dee", y'know.... like the perfume companies do it...
"Anais Anais... Eau de Toilette"
so how about....
"Yo! Delay... Eau de Dee"
...then when people went to ask for it in the shops they'd sound like Swiss goat-herders!
YODELAYOHEEDEE!!!

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12 Apr 2008

Quote by X_fanny_x
Aquilo, oh how your avator makes me think *this one time at band camp i stuck a flute up my......* :giggle:
or do i just have a really strange sence of humour

Mmmmm.... well your avatar got me thinking too X_Fanny... :P
... is this what you're hiding in that cleavage?...

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12 Apr 2008

Before sex I'd probably be
Orgasm Addict by The Buzzcocks
during sex I'd say I'm
Fire Coming Out Of The Monkey's Head by Gorillaz
...but after sex I'm probably more
I'm Not The Man I Used To Be by Fine Young Cannibals :cry:

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12 Apr 2008

I find bondage is the most effective way of determining whether or not a woman is a squirter.
Tie her up securely (to the bed, chair, ...cooker!) with her legs fixed in a wide open position... the less she can move the better... for her! Then I go to work on her with my Hitachi Magic Wand... by the time she's on her third forced orgasm in succession there's a good chance you'll see if she's a squirter or not!
Laydeez.... please do not fake your squirt.... as a mouthfull of pee can cause offence! redface

Please Note: Hitachi Magic Wand is not my pet name for my willy... if only my willy could give as much pleasure! lol

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12 Apr 2008

Quote by helnheaven
The last time I tasted Halifax water it wasnt very nice and looked a bit, er, murky. Having said that, it was in a pub which is now, long gone, (hardly suprising if they couldnt even get the water right) in Gibbert Street

Quote by Sarah
:notes:
Makes notes not to drink the water in Halifax!
:lol:

helnheaven!.... Sarah!.... I really must protest!!
Drinking Yorkshire water has made me the man I am today.... oh.... er... I see your point redface

Makes note to buy 'bottled' variety from now on...
...cos Scottish Highland 'spa' water is SO worth a quid a bottle! After all, the men in kilts had to catch that running water and bottle it... the overheads must be..... ooh... NON-EXISTENT!

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11 Apr 2008

Quote by helnheaven
Aquilo
You are bloody barmy man! It must be a Halifax thing, I know peeps from there and they are barmy too!
I love the new avatar

I think it may well be a Halifax thing... it's something in our water..... WHISKEY!!!!! :cheers:
Glad ya like the new avatar... thought I'd better change it before I started to get the wrong kind of name for myself!
Creepy indeed! :doh:

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11 Apr 2008

Quote by Rich_and_dee
5 reasons why im sub and not Domme
{1}im lazy...im more sort of lay back and beat me
{2}i can be a stroppy cow :shock:
{3}i go to B & Q and visualise how good id look in chains
{4}im too short to wear thigh high boots {they come up to my neck}
:cry:
{5}i know i am submissive because i have my own mind {when Rich lets me}

dee

{3}i go to B & Q and visualise how good id look in chains 8-)
Mmmm... I guess that would look something like this Dee?:

lol

:twisted: :lol:

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11 Apr 2008

Quote by X_fanny_x
Damn secrets out i have a tuneful fanny :giggle:

Surely that's a good thing?
An audible aid for your lovers.....
Bad Sex = Toot......... Toot........ Toot.............
Good Sex = Toot..Toot..Toot..Toot..Toot..Toot..Toot..PARRRPPPPPPPPP!!!
I'm so pleased I resisted the urge to say that it would make it easy for you and your partner to make sweet music together.... DAMMIT!!

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11 Apr 2008

Quote by X_fanny_x
Aquilo, oh how your avator makes me think *this one time at band camp i stuck a flute up my......* :giggle:
or do i just have a really strange sence of humour

No... not a strange sense of humour... just a very tuneful fanny Fanny!

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11 Apr 2008

Quote by Dawnie
:lol2: :lol2: :lol2::lol2: :lol2: :lol2::lol2: :lol2: :lol2:
Aquilo, I bloody love it :thumbup:
Can I have one, can I, please :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:

Aquilo, I bloody love it :thumbup:
I had heard the rumours Dawnie! redface

Can I have one, can I, please
Dawnie... I'd just love to give you one!
Oo..er... I've turned into Finbar Saunders and his Double Entendre's!!

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11 Apr 2008

The only thing I miss about being, say, 20... is the stamina I used to have!
I like to be an assertive lover but, since turning 40, I've lost count of the times I've been throwing a sexual partner around the room in a sexual frenzy only to have to reel myself in a little cos I'm out of breath! Not the heavy breathing I'd had in mind...
... but with age comes experience... and there's NO substitute for that!

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11 Apr 2008

In no way does it make you bi Djones2008....
That would be like saying - Lesbians who use dildo's on each other must be straight!
I fully agree with Whipsnspurs... if it's legal... if you're curious about it... go for it! If you find it's not for you then, apart from a throbbing bottom, you're no worse off.
Peace
Aq

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11 Apr 2008

To quote winchwench:
1. A good sub doesn’t have to fight to suppress the urge to shout “Don’t throw my favourite bra on that dusty floor, fuckwit!”
That's what Ball Gags were made for! lol

3. A good sub doesn’t make their Master laugh, mid - session. Safe words were agreed as Green = harder, Yellow = ease up a little, and Red = STOP!
Shouting “Ow! Red! No, Yellow! Wait! Kinda Orange! May not be a good idea.
Especially if you're colour blind!
5. Just try saying “Yellow” when the clothes peg on the end of your tongue is being tugged on. Really. Try it. :lol:
Off to try it now!......

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