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MadMax
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 51
0 miles · Hampshire
Forum
Orgasminator
Now she is very very difficult to buy for, so I was thinking about the ultimate night out so I have already decided "to take her to the drive through, and bang her twice" 
.
But any gift suggestions would be appreciated, she does not want a new watch, jewellery, or perfume.
Please help
.But any gift suggestions would be appreciated, she does not want a new watch, jewellery, or perfume.
Please help
Orgasminator
We are running various tests on the new site at the moment, can people please add me as afriend so I can test functionality. All the staff have done it but we still seem to have a few issues so could really do with more requests etc.
Just please dont be upset if i refuse or delete you as its all part of the testing
Just please dont be upset if i refuse or delete you as its all part of the testing
Orgasminator
My job is so frickin unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the people I work with:
First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.
The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian.
But the pick of the bunch has got to be the frickin stoner. And this guy is more than just your average stoner. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been straight anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big frickin dog to work. Every frickin day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single frickin day.
Who am I?
First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.
The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian.
But the pick of the bunch has got to be the frickin stoner. And this guy is more than just your average stoner. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been straight anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big frickin dog to work. Every frickin day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single frickin day.
Who am I?
ie couple, female, etc.
. Orgasminator
Here is one to Paypal, we dont get ANY complaints at SH towers 
Paypal complaint letter
FAO Senior Job Bot
First things first if you are on your own then stop reading this letter right now. You should make a circle of ten people around it then hold hands to engage the full power of one whole brain cell. After the brain cell is engaged you can slowly start reading this letter making sure that you stop fully, to work out what every long word means!.
Firstly I need to congratulate the staff at Paypal for being such a bunch of incompetent tossers. But I must apologise for that comment as it’s really down to the recruitment process. Normally Paypals recruitment information says “if you can read this then you are over qualified to work at paypalâ€. But seeing as standards of education have improved even in third world countries somewhat in recent times they now recruit by asking two questions at interview “too thick for a Mc Job? Fancy playing with your testicles all day ?†If the answer is a groan or the interviewee rubs their crotch, or urinates in the corner they are hired. If not, they are told to re apply for a Mc Job after taking a series of IQ boosting pills from a local Rave that were recently made from out of date Horse Tranquiliser.
Needless to say if anyone at Paypal can sort this out I will personally send you half a Big Mac as well as some road kill for being so very very clever, so pay attention now!. In an attempt to ward off any potential futile contact Paypal does its best to hide all lines of communication including contact forms and the Holy Grail of contact the “phone numberâ€!. If you are persistent and spend a whole day on the net surfing instead of working you can however like me be rewarded with these details. Despite Paypal now being added to my friends and family list I get very little satisfaction in being charged to input all kinds of Krypton Factor style data to win a position into the initial two hour queue that you operate. Without my quick thinking and sharp button pressing skills on the phone I get hung up on and have to start all over. Occasionally if you can pass the initial Krypton Factor questions and hold on without needing food, or a toilet break for a very very long time you get to speak to a poorly programmed Android.
This Android commonly known as a “Job Bot†is programmed to see if you can remember the same Krypton factor questions that you had skilfully input all those hours before. When you explain that you have already entered that information and question why they need it again they start to go into a repetitive monotone loop for ages and ages until you give in. If you can’t remember in your weakened and suffering state it is their job to force you to do it all over again from the start after you have had a toilet break. Occasionally as payment for getting this far you get an e-mail survey to complete about that specific “Job Bot†that you have tried so hard to communicate with. If it is negative enough it helps the Job Bot to get promotions?. Another thing the Job Bots do is say “Please hold the line†and then after it gets dark and your wife tells you that the cat has eaten your cold dinner hours later a recorded android says “All lines are now closedâ€.
Some of the “Job Bots†are based in India or Peru or somewhere and you can barely understand them. They use this to there cunning and crafty advantage, repeating the same loop of monotone text until you submit to personal humility and failure. I’m not sure if policy is to route your calls to Job Bots abroad or Just have foreign Job Bots here in an attempt to throw you either way it works. On two lucky occasions the Job Bots have falsely promised to help me in a cunning ploy to make me repeat this all over again! Eventually sick tired and exhausted of playing this game I start to get annoyed at the Job Bots in a futile attempt at resolution and that only leads to more frustration and the monotone loops of text repeating faster and faster!.
About two or so weeks ago I bought an Iphone for my wifes Birthday on Ebay. She opened it and having human traits decided that it was not for her. I said “don’t worry my dear wife I will sell it on ebay and buy you the one you want insteadâ€. She smiled sweetly and pointed out the new phone she wanted, as she calmly stoked a soft Kitten at home. It seemed to be so simple I listed it on ebay, someone did buy it now and sent the money to my new e-mail address. I thought I wonder what I do to get this sent to my Paypal account and I got an e-mail from Paypal “You can receive this in a few simple steps†just click here to accept the money. Oh my God weeks later and whole days and nights of pain still no new phone. My account was barred by a remote senior Job Bot, The person who I was paying for a phone with has had the same treatment and now I don’t know where my money is or what else I can do to get her phone?. Now listen to me you #####, it was meant to be a Birthday Present, Not a f###### Christmas present. I have done everything a man can do. You have wasted loads of my time, Called me at home (another Automated Bot, that was better to talk to than the normal Job Bots), Faxed everything I own, played search the credit card statement, as well as find the happy delivery number etc. Please grant me the wish of once again making my wife happy. I want either my money or my phone this b#### year you a### holes! I can give you no more, only my DNA and a used piece of tissue paper that I have in my pocket for nasal emergencies. I want this thing to end you have everything from me, I have nothing else to give except the last few rays of hope!. Your incompetence so far makes me realise that people who stick pins in their eyes out of despair are the really lucky ones!!!.
Paypal complaint letter
FAO Senior Job Bot
First things first if you are on your own then stop reading this letter right now. You should make a circle of ten people around it then hold hands to engage the full power of one whole brain cell. After the brain cell is engaged you can slowly start reading this letter making sure that you stop fully, to work out what every long word means!.
Firstly I need to congratulate the staff at Paypal for being such a bunch of incompetent tossers. But I must apologise for that comment as it’s really down to the recruitment process. Normally Paypals recruitment information says “if you can read this then you are over qualified to work at paypalâ€. But seeing as standards of education have improved even in third world countries somewhat in recent times they now recruit by asking two questions at interview “too thick for a Mc Job? Fancy playing with your testicles all day ?†If the answer is a groan or the interviewee rubs their crotch, or urinates in the corner they are hired. If not, they are told to re apply for a Mc Job after taking a series of IQ boosting pills from a local Rave that were recently made from out of date Horse Tranquiliser.
Needless to say if anyone at Paypal can sort this out I will personally send you half a Big Mac as well as some road kill for being so very very clever, so pay attention now!. In an attempt to ward off any potential futile contact Paypal does its best to hide all lines of communication including contact forms and the Holy Grail of contact the “phone numberâ€!. If you are persistent and spend a whole day on the net surfing instead of working you can however like me be rewarded with these details. Despite Paypal now being added to my friends and family list I get very little satisfaction in being charged to input all kinds of Krypton Factor style data to win a position into the initial two hour queue that you operate. Without my quick thinking and sharp button pressing skills on the phone I get hung up on and have to start all over. Occasionally if you can pass the initial Krypton Factor questions and hold on without needing food, or a toilet break for a very very long time you get to speak to a poorly programmed Android.
This Android commonly known as a “Job Bot†is programmed to see if you can remember the same Krypton factor questions that you had skilfully input all those hours before. When you explain that you have already entered that information and question why they need it again they start to go into a repetitive monotone loop for ages and ages until you give in. If you can’t remember in your weakened and suffering state it is their job to force you to do it all over again from the start after you have had a toilet break. Occasionally as payment for getting this far you get an e-mail survey to complete about that specific “Job Bot†that you have tried so hard to communicate with. If it is negative enough it helps the Job Bot to get promotions?. Another thing the Job Bots do is say “Please hold the line†and then after it gets dark and your wife tells you that the cat has eaten your cold dinner hours later a recorded android says “All lines are now closedâ€.
Some of the “Job Bots†are based in India or Peru or somewhere and you can barely understand them. They use this to there cunning and crafty advantage, repeating the same loop of monotone text until you submit to personal humility and failure. I’m not sure if policy is to route your calls to Job Bots abroad or Just have foreign Job Bots here in an attempt to throw you either way it works. On two lucky occasions the Job Bots have falsely promised to help me in a cunning ploy to make me repeat this all over again! Eventually sick tired and exhausted of playing this game I start to get annoyed at the Job Bots in a futile attempt at resolution and that only leads to more frustration and the monotone loops of text repeating faster and faster!.
About two or so weeks ago I bought an Iphone for my wifes Birthday on Ebay. She opened it and having human traits decided that it was not for her. I said “don’t worry my dear wife I will sell it on ebay and buy you the one you want insteadâ€. She smiled sweetly and pointed out the new phone she wanted, as she calmly stoked a soft Kitten at home. It seemed to be so simple I listed it on ebay, someone did buy it now and sent the money to my new e-mail address. I thought I wonder what I do to get this sent to my Paypal account and I got an e-mail from Paypal “You can receive this in a few simple steps†just click here to accept the money. Oh my God weeks later and whole days and nights of pain still no new phone. My account was barred by a remote senior Job Bot, The person who I was paying for a phone with has had the same treatment and now I don’t know where my money is or what else I can do to get her phone?. Now listen to me you #####, it was meant to be a Birthday Present, Not a f###### Christmas present. I have done everything a man can do. You have wasted loads of my time, Called me at home (another Automated Bot, that was better to talk to than the normal Job Bots), Faxed everything I own, played search the credit card statement, as well as find the happy delivery number etc. Please grant me the wish of once again making my wife happy. I want either my money or my phone this b#### year you a### holes! I can give you no more, only my DNA and a used piece of tissue paper that I have in my pocket for nasal emergencies. I want this thing to end you have everything from me, I have nothing else to give except the last few rays of hope!. Your incompetence so far makes me realise that people who stick pins in their eyes out of despair are the really lucky ones!!!.
Orgasminator
Im sorry your statement is incorrect ALL profiles are private at the moment unless you are a member (they are not publically visable on the net). ALL galleries are restricted to over 18+ members. Free joined up members get to see Non adult thumbnails only. And EVERY member has a private gallery AND private on upload feature.
Everything on the WHOLE site used to be public to ANYONE anywhere on the net without even being a member. That included every single picture on the site!. Log out and have a look around it will confirm the above.
Everything on the WHOLE site used to be public to ANYONE anywhere on the net without even being a member. That included every single picture on the site!. Log out and have a look around it will confirm the above.
Orgasminator
Im afraid I cant keep up with all your questions. Its like interogation the same thing asked over and over in slightly different ways. 
The answers dont change just because the same thing keeps getting asked over and over again.
I tell you what, I am shining a bright light in my eyes as I type this.
My wife is just about to throw scoulding oil on me so she can keep asking me the same questions again and again in hope of a different answer for you. :cry:
I know you love me really
The answers dont change just because the same thing keeps getting asked over and over again.I tell you what, I am shining a bright light in my eyes as I type this.
My wife is just about to throw scoulding oil on me so she can keep asking me the same questions again and again in hope of a different answer for you. :cry: I know you love me really
