Witchy's Forum Posts | Swinging Heaven

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Witchy

Over 90 days ago

Bisexual Female, 54

UK

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19 Feb 2010

Quote by st3v3
Everyone is entitled to opinions.
The person that wrote the endorsement and it matters not which one of us.
As the book has been around for many years and so far as we know there's been no lawsuits then its probable that actual names and circumstances have been altered in order to prevent the author and publishers from prosecution.
Now from our side we have found something that we consider may be of interest to the members here with a discount, so we have added details of it to the newsletter.
and now the 'can of worms is open' so whats the burning issues?
In particular, what do you perceive our motives to be and also if you want to make it more interesting Witchy outline the issues at stake, it could make for an interesting thread.

You're doing the Columbo thing, right? The motives are pretty transparent- a bit of mutual publicity. Nothing wrong with that, in essence. It makes business sense.
Whilst I have neither the time (I'm due at a train station very shortly) or the inclination- lets be honest here, in your position you shouldn't need me to walk you through it- there is something I want to pick up on.
Discretion has always been something of a mantra in the swinging world. It's always been sacrosanct in these parts. And yet...

As the book has been around for many years and so far as we know there's been no lawsuits then its probable that actual names and circumstances have been altered in order to prevent the author and publishers from prosecution.

Only probable?
Well, sure, I don't believe for one moment that Julio the builder with the twelve inch cock and the ability to breathe between his ears (or whatever it was) is real...I'm sure that "we", the members who trust you with our personal details deserve more than "probable" when it comes to a book "you" the admin, are endorsing, defending and promoting.
Yours, unknotted but very late Witchy

19 Feb 2010

My kids...especially the uni results feedback from my eldest today. worship

worship

19 Feb 2010

Quote by BIoke
I think some people should get out more if this twists their knickers and makes them lose sleep
Where can I get Anthony, Dave's and the lanscape gardener's numbers please and can anyone else verify them? :rascal:

I for one won't lose any Z's, ta muchly- and my knickers are nowhere near knotty. This place lost the ability to raise my heckles a while ago.
However, there is more than one issue at stake here- and one of them is worth a granny knot in the y-fronts of any active swinger.

19 Feb 2010

Quote by __random_orbit__
:splutter:

I know. My "of" vanished. :damnandblastImademyselflookatwatagainemote:

19 Feb 2010

Quote by st3v3
Well I'm sure some will like it and like anything in life people have a choice, either buy it or don't, or am I'm missing the point here.
For the record we did not play any part in the publication of this book and I'm sure if you look hard enough there's plenty of similar stuff out there, as the subjects open why not start here.

Of course someone is bound to like it, after all, millions of people read The Sun. It would appear that you've missed the main point entirely.
Yes, there's plenty of similar stuff out there- the link you provided is to stories written by amateurs. This is amateurish titillation masquerading as something else, and quite frankly the endorsement of it in the SH newsletter with the accompanying paragraphs was bound to open up not only DG's can of worms but also lead to some sort critique. And of course, what better place for it than a swingers forum where members can post messages, links and discuss anything with anyone.

19 Feb 2010

Quote by Sarah
A must read book written by an SH member. Now you know we don’t like misleading site attention
in the press. But this book was written by an active SH member who still uses and loves the site.
After reading it we have to say it is a truthful and thought provoking well written book that you
simply can’t put down. The author has kindly offered to give fellow members a massive 40%
discount if they buy it from the link provided. SH does not profi t in any way from the sale of these
books.
Check out the website to get 40% off this book for SH members and buy a copy directly from her
publishers.

It is all in the latest news letter
Surely that's not about the same book. The only thing that would make me not want to put that tripe down is running out of toilet paper.

19 Feb 2010

This worries me deeply. Aside from anything else, someone is actually publishing that utter shite?
My cat could write better than that dire drivel, and he's incredibly stupid. He can't type, either.
Tell me, in chapter 6 does she fuck a handsome washing machine repair man with a large tool?
What's it called? "Swingers Cliches for Beginners and Village Idiots?" rolleyes

rolleyes

17 Feb 2010

Quote by Kaznkev
Damn damn tits & bollocks. Why did no-one tell me it was Shameless night? :taz:

there are these helpful things called tv guides,they even reached us poor northerners lol

lol

btw ,isnt it mid febuary........is this post a hallucination?
TV guides are what northerners worth their salt wrap their chips in.
And I've just looked...it's a 7 day countdown. You anxious to get rid of me or something? :lol:
Join the queue.

17 Feb 2010

Quote by trigg732
Dont worry its repeated throughout the week, just saw next weeks on E4, who wants to know what happens...............

:sparring:

17 Feb 2010

Damn damn tits & bollocks. Why did no-one tell me it was Shameless night? :taz:

16 Feb 2010

Shameless, it's the only programme I turn the telly on for. lol

lol

I'm halfway through series two again on 4oD- as I only watched sporadically the first time around.

16 Feb 2010

Quote by __random_orbit__
you memory is fine.
I think you must have upset someone.
lp

Hell, I know I've upset someone. wink

wink

But not today. :wink: :wink:

16 Feb 2010

Well I'm stumped. I'm sure I popped in here earlier to "big up" meaty- and the entire thread appears to have vanished.
And I usually have a pretty good memory. :huh:

16 Feb 2010

Meaty. For saving a damsel in distress in simple terms which even RPM would have understood.
:thumbup:

13 Feb 2010

Quote by DungeonMaster
absolutely ##ck all it's been one of the s**tiest days of my life :sad:

:therethere:- well, substitute a punch on the upper arm and a "cheer up, mate" emote.

13 Feb 2010

Quote by varca
This
PS does anyone know what the movie is?

It's 300.
Best seen on a large screen. Short on plot, big on action, stylised gore- and muscle. wink

wink

13 Feb 2010

Quote by tomu
There is a thing called Pageants in the USA. Where young girls dress up and perform to the best of their abilities, a variety of inoffensive things. Jordan's daughter looks like that kind of thing. its a bit ott, but its not a sexual thing.
If anyone can look at that picture and feel sexual, they had probably better seek help. Also engineering a debate down that line is a bit weird. Its just not anything to do with sex.
These ideas of converging kids along with sexuality is becoming too commonplace. It seems to be one the first things we consider when discussing kids. It really doesn't make sense to develop such things too much.

I agree with the OP, I think this stuff is messed up, but then I don't think that's new in the case of Jordan really.
I think pageants are sick, I really do. I'm pretty stunned to see pageants being held up as a positive example for anything. Teaching young children to make themselves up like porn stars is weird. (or dolls - those are the two ways this can be interpreted)
I mean, porn stars looking like porn stars is one thing (and not to a lot of people's tastes on this forum apparently, to judge from the porn thread currently running in the cafe), and porn stars being deliberately chosen to look like young girls is another, somewhat odd, thing, but teaching very young girls to make themselves look like porn stars is a very very weird thing.
You can make a strong case that this kind of stuff, even overlooking the sexual connotations, has a role in objectification - girls being taught that the single most important thing in life is the way they look is damaging; and I also have a problem with that particular ideal of beauty - the eyeliner mascara blusher lipstick fake tan fake eyelashes fake boobs fake everything approach - being taught to children because it basically says: there is nothing good about the inner you - you have to hide it and cover it up with this (again) weirdly fictionalised, shallow, one-dimensional facade. if you're going to train young children to do all of that to their exteriors, what are the effects on their interiors? My money is on a higher chance of eating disorders, low self-esteem, and all the maladaptive behaviours that this can cause.
If you're going to say "it's all just a bit of fun, don't be silly" - just look at her mum! Jordan is the walking example of where this can lead; except that unlike a lot of people who've gone down that route she's actually managed to keep earning a decent living from it. Pretty shocking to think of it but she's come out better than a lot of the people on this path...
worship

worship

12 Feb 2010

Mine is high- but it's not always a good thing. I'm also very calm when in stressful, or painful situations. Apparantly, I'm not good to be on a maternity unit near...all my labours have had to be induced, but I just calmly and quietly deal with it. I remember telling a first timer who was making a huge fuss during her first couple of contractions that she really needed to get a grip of it, because it was gonna get a whole lot worse and she'd have worn herself out. I was only trying to be helpful. redface

redface

I went camping with a kidney stone- that was hellish. When I got home & went to the hospital, I was almost misdiagnosed because the doc said I was "far too calm" for the amount of pain kidney stones cause. He asked me to rate the pain on a scale of 1-10, and I said 8. Apparently, an 8 is usually signified by screaming and shouting. dunno

dunno

And then there was the time I broke my toe on a burley red belt, and just kept fighting- but I ended up doing it more damage. :doh:
Oh, and I insisted on watching hen I had LLETZ treatment...I'm odd like that...
We balance each other out though- if the other half so much as has a near miss with something, he says "ouch!" rolleyes

rolleyes

You must have a far more compassionate health authority than we do- I wasn't even offered pain relief for a colonoscopy.
Yours, Witchy. The Association of accident-prone hypochondriacs.
rotflmao

rotflmao

10 Feb 2010

Quote by Nimbus

"hi, im a bi single fem, fly me"

Don't think I have ever been flown... can someone explain how one would fly a bi?
(have I been missing out on some underground technique all these years?)

By wire wink

wink

9 Feb 2010

Avast is pretty good- oh, and he might help :borg:

9 Feb 2010

Quote by DungeonMaster
Just life in general,,, Im in a good place at this moment in time

Aww, that is so nice to hear. Do be careful though, if someone posts something, you could end up with a nasty papercut. wink

wink

8 Feb 2010

Quote by Kaznkev
Do beds next to each other at clubs count,?
Can the adjudication commitee tell me because there may be the need for a recount

Beds, floors, tables, trampolines...s'all good, I believe even cross-border gang banging counts, so long as the simultaneous touching rule is adhered to. lol

lol

8 Feb 2010

Quote by tomu
I believe this to be the same dozy bint I heard interviewed on the radio the other day on a different issue. If it is, she can't hold her own in an argument and isn't half as clever as she thinks she is. So give her enough rope, and hopefully right will prevail

Mildly distasteful but...
I can't be alone in having felt a little, erm, Schadenfreude, about the eventual downfall of Iris? Although I didn't expect it to go quite so catastrophically.
>>>Feels a little :smug:<<<

7 Feb 2010

rolleyes

Have you not read amendment 5.4 of the 1989 (2nd Edition) Handbook for Sexual Competition Adjudicators, Linespeople, and Judges?
Sigh.
5.4: Following the inquiry into the fire at the Brixton Bukkake international trials, it has been decided that Aural Orifices should remain clear of body parts and fluids at all times. For clarification purposes, the relevant extract of the inquiry is published below.
After thorough examination of the scene by Fire Investigators, it was concluded that the sudden combustion was caused by the vast friction emanating from the event participants. The sparks produced by such frantic, mass wanking set fire to several boxes of tissues which were strategically placed around the room. Unfortunately, the two lady participants from rival teams were wearing blindfolds in order to avoid injuries arising from semen in the eye- a stipulation imposed by the events insurers after a rise in claims in previous years. The ladies were also temporarily deafened by residual semen from the qualifying rounds in their ears, and as such were unable to hear the fire alarms. By the time the safety teams were able to quell the flames with fire extinguishers, both ladies had suffered "Singed minge" syndrome.

7 Feb 2010

Quote by little gem
This is one of those threads that can oh so easily decend into cock flexing of the highest order. Before you know it folks have reverted to playground tactics of 'my dad is tougher than your dad' and then the fight breaks out!
Needless to say... I've been a very naughty girl and it would be very very rude of me to spill my guts on the open forum, because clearly, I win.
Simples.
:smug:
By the way, are there rules to this? Does it count if they leave the room and come back? Or do they all have to be different people? Can it be different people coming and going? (so to speak ;) ) Does it have to be on a bed, specifically? How many people can you fit into a mini? Do you have to have been involved? Does watching count at all? Does it count if it's watching porn? Do the people watching things with you count? Does the fact you know people are 'at it' in another room in club count? Does attending a club count? What about club registers of the numbers there at any one point in the night? Can I count the staff? What about that one couple that has a barney mid way through the night and then storms off out of the club without actually having got undressed? Or the porn that plays beside the people in the club while the real people are 'at it' on the bed? But then that brings me back to the bed question and whether other general furniture and fittings count? What about standing up? Or on the floor? Light fittings? Jumping off wardrobes? How about on the snooker tables or in the jaquzzi (even thought it's not allowed! :lol: )?

It's a poser. I think rule #1 should be silly

silly

eople have to be in physical contact with you simultaneously for them to count as being one person during that particular act.
Rule #2 people simultaneously in physical contact with someone who is in physical contact with you count as either one half, or one quarter of a whole person, depending on the nature of the touching.
Rule #3 people in simultaneous physical contact with people in physical contact with those who are in physical contact with you have no numerical value, unless they are holding photographic equipment, in which case they count as .6 of a person. This is dependent upon the resolution of the photographic equipment, and subsequent views on redtube.
Rule #4 Coffee breaks, toilet breaks, take a breaks, or any other incidents of coitus interruptus render an event at an end.
Rule #5 The use of prosthetics for touching is only allowable* if said prosthetic has been certified by the General Medical Council as "suitable for use in debauched circumstances"
Rule #6 The Simultaneous filling of every bodily orifice and crevice** will attract tie-breaker points, and the Ron Jeremy Silver award for dedication.
*Non-approved prosthetics are not banned from the arena, but neither can they be counted for contact points. This rule was implemented after the notorious incident in the 1969 sexual olympics when the Skegness team fielded a contestant with a 48 inch, double handed flexible forearm.
**This includes armpits, but excludes ears and nasal cavities on safety grounds.

7 Feb 2010

I find that once I've put the machete down, they're fine. dunno

dunno

7 Feb 2010

Erm...I have no idea. More than "a few." I used to have a bit of a "thing" for the idea of me, and four rampant blokes. Hmm...

7 Feb 2010

I think I look pretty much my age. As far as acting ones age, I can, when need be. In fact ever since my teens I've had comments that I have an old head on my shoulders. Older friends frequently turn to me for advice.
I don't intend to ever "mature" if maturity means becoming beige.
In the words of George Bernard Shaw;
“We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.”

6 Feb 2010

Quote by westerross
I seem to be picking up exes all over the place these days!!
.

I know that feeling. My first ever boyfriend has been getting a little "near the mark"...and a schoolfriend let slip to another guy that I'd had a crush on him...result? I've been earmarked as "mistress" material. rolleyes

rolleyes

Ex fwb's I'm mostly still friendly with. With the exception of my "first love" - who I've stumbled upon on facebook, but chosen not to contact- I don't have any significant ex's. If I've let someone get close to me, (which is a rarity) then they're usually worth sticking with through life's up & down's.

6 Feb 2010

The anti-porn bible app has kept me amused this evening- and it's not even my phone. rotflmao

rotflmao