I think the idea of free speech in the UK is rather illusory, there is in fact no such thing. Everyone is free to say whatever they like except for that which runs contrary to generally received wisdom. The idea that people are able to freely argue ideas which the majority would find repellant seems long dead in a society so well "defended" by The Sun and Daily Mail. In a way today's society is not that different from that in the time of Copernicius who was ostracised for daring to argue that the earth orbited the sun rather than vice versa (the generally received wisdom of the day). I don't think this is an entirely positive development.
Not that I want to tihnk too much about being rogered by a girl with a strap on, but why should it be any different than anal with a girl? Who say it has to be done doggy style? Missionary can be much more personal, allow shallower penetration and feel better for both parties.
I think that if you don't at least float the possibility of playing with others at an early stage of a relationship there is a tendency to "bottle out" perhaps from fear of being thought a perv by your partner, or even worse causing them distress and upset. I suppose though that we are all different people so this is going to be a very individual thing. I wanted to try this with my ex but could never really bring myself to talk openly about what I wanted sexually with her, perhaps because of my relative immaturity when we first got together. I can say that every day that I didn't talk about my feelings, the less likely it was that I ever would, and ultimately 10 years down the line had never even really broached the subject apart from a half hearted suggestion we go on hols to Hedo.
Having been through similar experiences to the OP myself (Mr BFC here) I think that people tend not to give their sex life the attention it perhaps deserves. As a guy it seemed somehow natural to drift into erm "self entertainment" and it being the internet age, there are so many sources of stimulation. The trickier question is what began the decline was it a genuine dissatisfaction with my then sex life or was it the allure of something new and exciting which grabbed my attention and increasingly deflected my attention away from a partner who loved and respected me? Was the subsequent tail off in physicality between us a loss of interest on her part or a real attempt to give me what she perceived I wanted (i.e. less "activity"). I can honestly say I have agonised about this question and thinking of this has been quite painful as I began a new relationship which provoked memories of happier times with my ex. As someone who desperately wanted to avoid the mistakes of the past, I have dwelled upon this at considerable length and think I have identified a solution to prevent the same thing happening again.
From my own experience I think relationships reach a tipping point where there is almost no going back, I cannot quite identify when that happened with my ex, but I am sure others will recognise a growing feeling of something not being right when their partner wants to engage in some passionate activity ranging from kissing to sex. I made the decision that ultimately an active sex life was too important to me (no matter how selfish that was) for me to continue a relationship without one. Having identified that and going through a period of counselling to see if my relationship with my ex could revert back to a more "normal" track, I concluded that there was no way that I could feel the same way about my ex even though I loved her a great deal. We did however (despite the upset I caused her) part as friends and remain good friends to this day.
Now Mrs BFC and I only ever play together, I do not watch porn or engage in "DIY" in chat or any other context without her being present, fundamentally I try to anchor sex as being something which always takes place with my partner and not an end in itself. The fact that we are both open and adventurous people also gives us a common "hobby" which I think help to bind us more closely together. Will this be a more successful relationship than my last (10 years) is difficult to tell, but I can guarantee that it won't be for want of trying on my part.
For what its worth we have found that our limited experience of playing with others has been a great experience for both of us, bringing us closer together somehow and giving us lots to talk about while playing together for some time before and after meetings. I have been wondering whether to post my thoughts for a little while, but I have finally been prompted by a chat (in another place) with a married guy looking for cpls so he could effectively cheat on his wife. If someone had been able to warn me of the dangers of my own behaviour early into the decline of my sex life with my ex perhaps my life would be very different now. I don't want to moralise about this because others seem to have done that adequately ;) As I said to him though how can anyone who isn't even honest with the person they profess to love (i.e. his wife) be trusted close to the most important thing in my life (Mrs BFC).
I am uncut too and find if a BJ is too rough it can be painful. Jen was educated quite quickly tho ;) Personally I find it hard to ermm "finish" from a BJ so tend to look upon it more as an appetiser than a main course. Sometimes I think I am the only guy in the world who prefers to give oral than get it ;)
Voted on this despite the initial confusion ;) I guess really the core queston is what constitutes "success". We tend to go out about once a week and always find action, but it tends to be us entertaining the guys there. I guess an ideal scenario would be for us to enter a car park with several other cpls (and no single guys) all up for fun, but since that is never going to happen, we just decided to change our definition of "success" ;)
Jen (Mrs BFC) is in her first year of an English and Media Degree.
Good luck with your Masters Fluffer, James (Mr BFC) did an MBA a couple of years ago and it was definitely a life changing experience.
Yea thanks PLC, I was kinda thinking along those lines, but then I have had a few this evening ;)
We have just booked ourselves into the Olympia Hilton for the Saturday, so may get to meet some of you at last ;) Just continung on the what to wear theme, assuming normal casual wear during the day, what do people wear in the evening? Jen is threatening to wear school uniform but then we might feel even more perv than usual ;)
Why go to the trouble of doing this? Why not just hold a webcam session or show pics only via a medium such as MSN or which allows pics to be shown but without sending them? We have never sent a pic to anyone we have met or chatted to but have shown pics or held webcam sessions or both. We tend to find this does not deter the genuine, the only people who are put off are those we felt suspicious about from the outset.
We have no problem with Jen playing with other guys, but are put off by the intimacy of mmf, and thus prefer ffm (chance would be a fine thing of finding an attractive youngish bi girl ;) ). MMM+F can be kinda fun on occasion, especially when dogging. At least with FFM all parties can play with each other in a way that isn't going to work in MMF for str8 guys.
Single guys please note this is NOT an invitation to contact us. Single Bi F's why not take a look at our ad 327680 ;)
Depends on the branch for us:-
On the whole we avoid Pizza Hut and use Dominos, strangely Pizza Hut tastes much nicer in some other parts of the world.
Burger King is great when you actually get a proper one and not one of those BK's who warm up all the burgers in the micro (most of them it seems). The fries in the UK are crap though. BK's in Thailand are the best we have had, food always fresh and none of those crappy crispy fries.
KFC again depends on the branch, the main branches (e.g. Central London) can be great with tasty food and a more international menu (e.g. the savoury bicuits, gravy and mash like you find in the US). The cruddy local branches always seem to look dirty even when first open and the chicken tastes greasy and reheated.
Overall Mc'Ds wins for consistency, quality and a much more imaginative menu it seems than the competition. You can't beat a bacon bagel for brekky ;)
Probably the best UK "fast food" though can be found at Pret a Manger.
It's a shame that some of the better foreign chains can't be found in the UK e.g. "In & Out" for the west coast US, Taco Bell, or Fuji Sushi from Thailand.
You were asked to pick up the role, and you chose to accept hence "volunteered" doesn't seem too unreasonable a description. It certainly was a free choice wasn't it and you could choose not to continue the role if you wanted to.
There is no point us trying to challenge the rules, as you rightly point out we accepted them when we joined. I was merely pointing out the fact that the role of Op or Moderator is made more or less difficult as a result of the rules you apply. This seems to be self evident and totally On Topic.
At no point within this thread have I "whinged" about our exclusion form the chatroom. You know our thoughts on that and unlike others I am not going to repeat the contents of the various emails in public, what is the point?
Does the fact that we were excluded from chat mean we have little sympathy for your predicament, probably yes, but I suspect that our view would have been much the same regardless.
It comes down to this, if I choose to be a fireman is it reasonable for me to complain about being woken up in the middle of the night to put out fires?
Maybe, just maybe the Chatroom Op's role would be easier if the rules were "lighter" and they spent their time regulating the more serious transgressions. The difficulty of enforcing rules rises in direct relation to the number of rules imposed and their relative importance. Like the use of speed camera's though it is always easy to focus on minor infringements.
Have to declare we have a personal gripe here though.
This thread has been quite lighthearted, but I wonder whether the vetting process would exclude anyone with certain "lifestyle" interests because it posed a blackmail risk? I suppose the only way this could be answered would be by someone actually workimg within the security service and that isn't very likely. I just would have thought that even being here would disqualify most of us.
We have a night vision scope which to be honest we mainly use to see if there are other couples in a car park when it is quite dark. We don't think it is much good for anything else, really (kinda like watching black and white tv but in green and white). It seems fair game if anyone (including us) is playing in a public space there is the chance of others watching (isn't this the whole point?). The red light on a night vision scope is not in fact a laser at all it is an infra red emitter which can be used in conditions of total darkness to bathe the "subject" in infra red light and thus provide a viewable image. Night vision scopes merely enhance the available light to provide a viewable image, clearly no light=no image, hence the need in some circumstances for the infra red emitter. Using the infra red emitter (they can be switched on and off) makes absolutely no difference to image quality in normal lighting conditions (e.g. moonlight) and thus it is difficult to see why anyone would choose to do so. Using night vision scopes is considerably less obtrusive when the infra red emitter is turned off.
We tend to prefer webcam chat to phone conversation, simply because phone conversations can be awkward and we don't like to give out our number. Also since we dont show face pics online, people get to see the real us and if they are not feeling too queasy continue the conversation ;)
We have been quite surprised though at the number of people who don't seem to have a cam. Given that cam costs are now quite low (£10-£15) we would think they would almost be de-rigeur for real couples, however we know this isn't always the case and just wondered why really? Perhaps its harder to justify if there are kids in the household etc?
) he appeared to remain in his pick up (or maybe he was an accomplished dogger and watching unobtrusively).
