At last, a decent chain letter as opposed to the normal chain letters/pyramid schemes. This one costs nothing and you can only win. Simply send this e-mail to 9 of your mates.
INSTRUCTIONS.
Anaesthetize your wife, put her in a large carton, (don't forget some ventilation holes), and send it to the person who is at the top of your list. Soon, your name will be at the top of the list, and you will receive 823,542 women through the post.
Statistically, among those women, will be at least:
0.5 Miss Worlds
2.5 Models
463 Wild nymphos
3,234 Good-looking nymphos
20,198 Who enjoy multiple orgasms
40,198 Bi-sexual women
In total, that
is 64,294 women who are simply hornier, less inhibited, and tastier than the grumpy old bag you posted off. And, best of all, your original package is guaranteed not to be one of those that come back to you.
DO NOT BREAK THIS CHAIN LETTER.
One bloke for example who sent the letter to only 5 instead of 9 of his friends got his original bird back, still in the old dressing gown he sent her off in, with the same old migraine attack, and the accusatorial expression on her face. On the same day, the international supermodel he'd been living with since he sent off his old girlfriend moved out to live with his best friend (to whom he had not sent the chain letter).
While I am sending this letter, the bloke that is in 6th place above me has already received 837 women and is lying in hospital suffering from exhaustion. Outside his ward are 452 more packages.
YOU MUST BELIEVE THIS E-MAIL. This is a unique opportunity to achieve a totally satisfying sex life. No expensive meals out, no lengthy conversations about trivialities (that only interest women). No obligations, no grumpy mother-in-law, and no unpleasant surprises like marriage or engagement. Do not hesitate........send this letter today to 9 of your best friends.
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Marya hunni
I know you mean well but please , please ,please NOT yet another damn pole. We have had pole after pole after pole over the last six months.
Judy
Sounds like the site is working for you, all those poles
Must be sore by now! 
:lol: :lol:
Just thought a little light humour in this 39 page thread wouldn't go amiss.
I know you mean well but please , please ,please NOT yet another damn pole. We have had pole after pole after pole over the last six months.
Judy
Sounds like the site is working for you, all those poles
Must be sore by now! :lol: :lol: Just thought a little light humour in this 39 page thread wouldn't go amiss.
Well, mine is exactly 20 and I can name every one, a lot of surnames too. Not a bad memory for 26 years of sexual encounters. Mind you, I have had countless numbers of sexual encounters, not ending in penetration. Before I get any comments, I mean spending a few hours pleasing a woman, without the need to shag her!
Who else can remember their lovers names? FROGSTER: you are excluded from that question!
Who else can remember their lovers names? FROGSTER: you are excluded from that question!
News Flash 11th November 2004
After being snowbound for nearly two weeks last winter, a Seattle man departed for his vacation in Miami Beach, where he was to meet his wife the next day at the conclusion of her business trip to Minneapolis. They were looking forward to pleasant weather and a nice time together.
Unfortunately, there was some sort of mix up at the boarding gate, and the man was told he would have to wait for a later flight. He tried to appeal to a
supervisor but was told the airline was not responsible for the problem and it would do no good to complain.
Upon arrival at the hotel the next day, he discovered that Miami Beach was
having a heat wave, and its weather was almost as uncomfortably hot as
Seattle's was cold. The desk clerk gave him a message that his wife would
arrive as planned. He could hardly wait to get to the pool area to cool off,
and quickly sent his wife an e-mail, but due to his haste, he made an error in the e-mail address.
His message therefore arrived at the home of an elderly preacher's wife whose even older husband had died only the day before. When the grieving widow opened her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out an anguished scream, and fell to the floor dead. Her family rushed to her room where they saw this message on the screen
"Dearest wife,
Departed yesterday as you know.
Just now got checked in. Some confusion at the gate. Appeal was denied.
Received confirmation of your arrival tomorrow.
Your loving husband.
"P.S. Things are not as we thought. You're going to be surprised at how hot it is down here......."
After being snowbound for nearly two weeks last winter, a Seattle man departed for his vacation in Miami Beach, where he was to meet his wife the next day at the conclusion of her business trip to Minneapolis. They were looking forward to pleasant weather and a nice time together.
Unfortunately, there was some sort of mix up at the boarding gate, and the man was told he would have to wait for a later flight. He tried to appeal to a
supervisor but was told the airline was not responsible for the problem and it would do no good to complain.
Upon arrival at the hotel the next day, he discovered that Miami Beach was
having a heat wave, and its weather was almost as uncomfortably hot as
Seattle's was cold. The desk clerk gave him a message that his wife would
arrive as planned. He could hardly wait to get to the pool area to cool off,
and quickly sent his wife an e-mail, but due to his haste, he made an error in the e-mail address.
His message therefore arrived at the home of an elderly preacher's wife whose even older husband had died only the day before. When the grieving widow opened her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out an anguished scream, and fell to the floor dead. Her family rushed to her room where they saw this message on the screen
"Dearest wife,
Departed yesterday as you know.
Just now got checked in. Some confusion at the gate. Appeal was denied.
Received confirmation of your arrival tomorrow.
Your loving husband.
"P.S. Things are not as we thought. You're going to be surprised at how hot it is down here......."
I have been reading the threads on here for a few days and have added some posts, but have not found that many topics to comment on, so I thought I would start my own thread and tell you how my first night has started, with a few lovely ladies, over the past few years.
The scene: First night, maybe even first date. She has decided to stay the night or invited me to stay. I have asked her to undress, on her own and lay face down on the bed, with the covers over her. I now walk into the room and over to the bed.
To start I brush the hair away from her forehead and stroke her hairline and forehead moving down to her eyebrows, making sure I stroke in both directions, as this gives a wonderfully relaxing tingle. I then lean forward, kiss her forehead lightly and again move down to her eyebrows, kissing from nose outwards and licking in the other direction. The back of my hand is running down her cheek and then turning over and running round the back of her neck, under her hair.
Now I sit up and peel the quilt back to just above her bottom, knowing she expects me to uncover her, but is worried what I will think of her body/bum. I massage her shoulders and back, working down to the top of the quilt, just above her bum. Slowly working back up to the shoulders and down again. This continues for 20 minutes or so, until she is completely relaxed, hopefully not asleep! Then I cover her up and lift the quilt from the bottom up, just below her bum this time. She's not sure if I can see anything, but starts to feel a little excitement within. Starting at her feet and working slowly up, I massage her legs and once above the knee, I massage a little higher each time, stopping and starting back by the knee. Eventually on one of the up massages, I feel the slightest touch of her pubic hairs, immediately I stop and start from the foot on the other leg, doing the same again. This time on contact with the pubic hairs, I stop and start on the first leg again, but from the knee up, making sure that when I work up to the hairs, I work a little higher, so she knows I can feel her and it starts the feeling of arousal within her
Time to uncover her completely, so the quilt is moved aside. I say nothing, just look and then, under my breath, but just loud enough, I sigh a little hmmmmmm of delight. I now kneel up, astride her legs and start to massage her bum, working down and inwards, paying particular attention to that spot on each cheek, that relaxes her most. After a short while, I change direction, massaging out and up, spreading her cheeks apart and listening for that tell tale sound of wetness, like someone licking their lips. By now, she should be turned on enough and she will hear the noise herself, knowing I can hear it and turning her on even more. Next I move one knee and place it gently between the back of her knees, she, almost involuntarily, parts her legs the 6 or so inches needed to let me kneel up. At this point, she knows I can see her swelling labia and wonders if she is wet on the outside yet. Once again, I massage out and up, her lips beginning to part, a feeling she knows so well. Then she realises, as I massage a little harder and higher, that I can see her lips parting. This just causes her to feel even more sexy and at this point I can see the juices begin to shine on her lips and the best part of all for me, is when her lips finally part, exposing that wonderful hole, I get that sweet smell of love juice creaping up to me. I breathe in the intoxicating fumes once or twice, knowing she is ready for me to enter her, but I stop.... I move away to the edge of the bed and ask her to turn over.
That's all for now folks.
The scene: First night, maybe even first date. She has decided to stay the night or invited me to stay. I have asked her to undress, on her own and lay face down on the bed, with the covers over her. I now walk into the room and over to the bed.
To start I brush the hair away from her forehead and stroke her hairline and forehead moving down to her eyebrows, making sure I stroke in both directions, as this gives a wonderfully relaxing tingle. I then lean forward, kiss her forehead lightly and again move down to her eyebrows, kissing from nose outwards and licking in the other direction. The back of my hand is running down her cheek and then turning over and running round the back of her neck, under her hair.
Now I sit up and peel the quilt back to just above her bottom, knowing she expects me to uncover her, but is worried what I will think of her body/bum. I massage her shoulders and back, working down to the top of the quilt, just above her bum. Slowly working back up to the shoulders and down again. This continues for 20 minutes or so, until she is completely relaxed, hopefully not asleep! Then I cover her up and lift the quilt from the bottom up, just below her bum this time. She's not sure if I can see anything, but starts to feel a little excitement within. Starting at her feet and working slowly up, I massage her legs and once above the knee, I massage a little higher each time, stopping and starting back by the knee. Eventually on one of the up massages, I feel the slightest touch of her pubic hairs, immediately I stop and start from the foot on the other leg, doing the same again. This time on contact with the pubic hairs, I stop and start on the first leg again, but from the knee up, making sure that when I work up to the hairs, I work a little higher, so she knows I can feel her and it starts the feeling of arousal within her
Time to uncover her completely, so the quilt is moved aside. I say nothing, just look and then, under my breath, but just loud enough, I sigh a little hmmmmmm of delight. I now kneel up, astride her legs and start to massage her bum, working down and inwards, paying particular attention to that spot on each cheek, that relaxes her most. After a short while, I change direction, massaging out and up, spreading her cheeks apart and listening for that tell tale sound of wetness, like someone licking their lips. By now, she should be turned on enough and she will hear the noise herself, knowing I can hear it and turning her on even more. Next I move one knee and place it gently between the back of her knees, she, almost involuntarily, parts her legs the 6 or so inches needed to let me kneel up. At this point, she knows I can see her swelling labia and wonders if she is wet on the outside yet. Once again, I massage out and up, her lips beginning to part, a feeling she knows so well. Then she realises, as I massage a little harder and higher, that I can see her lips parting. This just causes her to feel even more sexy and at this point I can see the juices begin to shine on her lips and the best part of all for me, is when her lips finally part, exposing that wonderful hole, I get that sweet smell of love juice creaping up to me. I breathe in the intoxicating fumes once or twice, knowing she is ready for me to enter her, but I stop.... I move away to the edge of the bed and ask her to turn over.
That's all for now folks.
Quote by Silk and Big G
Very simple really!! I saw it once on Phil and Fern (*coughs*)
If your bloke's a footie fan, you can now buy these toilet seats that display his club on the top of the toilet seat. Whilst the team he despises the most is underneath.
Pure brilliance!
Silks xxxxxxxxx
PMSL, yup brilliant!
Awwww I love my wee puter!! Only thing that could be better than my dildo and my puter is a dildo shaped puter
So call your dildo "Puter" and you have the best of both worlds.
P ulsating
U ltra-orgasmic
T oy
E lectrically
R everberating
Or "computer"
C ompletely
O rgasmic
M assive
P enis
U p
T here (in)
E very
Room
So call your dildo "Puter" and you have the best of both worlds.
P ulsating
U ltra-orgasmic
T oy
E lectrically
R everberating
Or "computer"
C ompletely
O rgasmic
M assive
P enis
U p
T here (in)
E very
Room
One mother-in-law...........free to a good home.
Venusxxx
Why a good home, you can have mine free, as long as you treat her like she has treated me all these years! Namely, be really sweet and nice to her face, then lay into her when out of earshot. Also, make sure at Xmas, you spend a long time getting exactly the present she will never , ever use!
Bitter, divorced, no, not me, honest.
Venusxxx
Why a good home, you can have mine free, as long as you treat her like she has treated me all these years! Namely, be really sweet and nice to her face, then lay into her when out of earshot. Also, make sure at Xmas, you spend a long time getting exactly the present she will never , ever use!
Bitter, divorced, no, not me, honest.
Hayley, I'm so sorry to hear this. I know you are no where near me, but having been on here just a few days, I thought your posts were some of the best I had seen. Advice for the single woman, that great post by Bassman about your/his experience. It gave me great hope in this ventue into the unknown.
You don't go into details of what exactly happened, but I can only assume it was very frightening for you, if you are giving up now. Good luck in whatever you do fron now on, maybe private parties/clubs, where at least you will be safe. Or arranging your own dogging at unknown sites, with the genuine, good guys you have met so far.
Keep your head up girl and don't let them beat you. xxx
Edited: That's the spirit, go on girl, get out there and show them what you are really like. Too many idiots spoiling things out there.
You don't go into details of what exactly happened, but I can only assume it was very frightening for you, if you are giving up now. Good luck in whatever you do fron now on, maybe private parties/clubs, where at least you will be safe. Or arranging your own dogging at unknown sites, with the genuine, good guys you have met so far.
Keep your head up girl and don't let them beat you. xxx
Edited: That's the spirit, go on girl, get out there and show them what you are really like. Too many idiots spoiling things out there.
Quote by Serendipity
I wouldn't have thought a Scooby would be much of a hindrance Keef, not unless you've got purple neon undercar lighting and drive with your fogs permanently on anyway
Don't wan to be flash, but it's an STI, no fogs!!!!! Besides the tasteful lighting is enhanced by the blue flashing neon windscreen wiper lights.
Quote by bluexxx
Ok, all is revealed!!!!
This is the shower cubicle......
This is the view from the door of the sink....
This is the bog that lots of you will be throwing up in after eating my vodka jelly in three weeks time :lol:
And finally.... this is a close up of the inside of the bath....
The pics do not depict the exact colour. I had the cam on the wrong setting for artificial light.......... the colours do not look quite so "yellow" in real life.
Party people, you are welcome to take your own pics of my bathroom for later personal use if you wish :twisted:
I'm sorry, learning about the swinging/dogging scene here and just wondered, what is the yellow handled chainsaw under the sink for Blue? :lol: :lol:
Got a question here. I have recently joined and I am serious about the dogging scene, but I drive an Impreza. Is that going to be a problem at sites? Will the serious doggers think I am a boy racer at 43 years old? I've read a lot about the "boy racers messing things up" What is a boy racer in your experienced eyes? Don't want to have problems on my first visit.
