Sorry ,Sorry, Sorry No more hate mail please
What about this for a caption then?
Tom said, "Let's go and put on a little show for the doggers."
Maureen said, "No, let's put on a big show for the doggers."
Daren't do that again.
Anybody think of more captions?
Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
Forum
I believe there is a town somewhere down south where the local council has become concerned about Ladies' Safety and has instituted a system of "Ladies Only" car parks. I understand that these car parks are staffed by lady attendants and parking supervisors and that no men are allowed.
I also understand that the scheme has been so successful that other councils all over the country are thinking of adopting it.
I also understand that the scheme has been so successful that other councils all over the country are thinking of adopting it.
Neil - you are a genius with a good memory. I thought all that Sgt Major stuff had faded into the mists of time.
Thanks - made my day.
Fred, Yes I found something similar when I googled "Brats"
Alex - sorry about your brain. If it's Ok, I will eventually PM you with brain calming information.
Major Tom
Thanks - made my day.
Fred, Yes I found something similar when I googled "Brats"
Alex - sorry about your brain. If it's Ok, I will eventually PM you with brain calming information.
Major Tom
Public Announcement
Although I was a Sergeant Major, I am not now, and never have been a member of the French Foreign Legion.
My only visit to a desert region was not in North Africa and I am unable to help with directions of how to get there.
I am unable to assist you with an introduction to a camel.
I am unable to comment on the relative sexual attractiveness of a camel with two humps or one (although common sense seems to imply that two humps are better than one).
Please begin browsing the ads - you may find a camel there.
No more PMs please: Maureen is getting frazzled and is starting to wonder whether my friendship with a camel was just that.
Although I was a Sergeant Major, I am not now, and never have been a member of the French Foreign Legion.
My only visit to a desert region was not in North Africa and I am unable to help with directions of how to get there.
I am unable to assist you with an introduction to a camel.
I am unable to comment on the relative sexual attractiveness of a camel with two humps or one (although common sense seems to imply that two humps are better than one).
Please begin browsing the ads - you may find a camel there.
No more PMs please: Maureen is getting frazzled and is starting to wonder whether my friendship with a camel was just that.
No, Honest.
But while you're here. Much enjoyed my visit to Wigan. Always do. It's one of the few places where people still say hello in the street, make friendly eye contact and truly interact in an amiable manner. I like the place. Didn't get to the Orwell though but we're back in Wigan again mid November.
But while you're here. Much enjoyed my visit to Wigan. Always do. It's one of the few places where people still say hello in the street, make friendly eye contact and truly interact in an amiable manner. I like the place. Didn't get to the Orwell though but we're back in Wigan again mid November.
A new commander arrived to take over a Foreign Legion fort in the North African Desert. During his tour of inspection he asked the Sergeant Major how the men did for sex. "We have the camel, sir", replied the Sgt Major. After a week of two the new commanding officer was feeling the isolation a bit and he pondered the Sgt Majjor's advice. Took himself a three-legged stool and went to relieve his desires with the help of the camel.
Much to his embarrassment the Sgt Major walked in while he was in mid-business. "Is this how the men do it?", the CO asked.
"No sir, we use the camel to take us to the brothel in town.".
Much to his embarrassment the Sgt Major walked in while he was in mid-business. "Is this how the men do it?", the CO asked.
"No sir, we use the camel to take us to the brothel in town.".
Back from the dentist. She has a way of cuddling you up to her breasts. Not sure why unless it's to distract you from what else is going on.
Anyways, now got sparkling smile and didn't get to Wigan Pier for lunch. Didn't want to spoil the smile on Pie and Chips.
But I do like Wigan and I like the people.
Tom
Anyways, now got sparkling smile and didn't get to Wigan Pier for lunch. Didn't want to spoil the smile on Pie and Chips.
But I do like Wigan and I like the people.
Tom
Hi Everybody
We are off to Wigan today because Tom has had an invitation to see an attractive woman who has promised to put all sort of interesting things into his mouth.
Yes, he's off to the dentist.
He knows he's turning into an old git - this is his attempt not to become a toothless old git.
So, Wigan here we come. Lunch at the Pier.
We are off to Wigan today because Tom has had an invitation to see an attractive woman who has promised to put all sort of interesting things into his mouth.
Yes, he's off to the dentist.
He knows he's turning into an old git - this is his attempt not to become a toothless old git.
So, Wigan here we come. Lunch at the Pier.
This is Tom
My policy has always been to avoid giving advice so it's taken me a bit of thought before putting fingers to keyboard.
However, if your friend was bleeding then, still friends or not, you would provide a bandage wouldn't you? If you could.
It seems to me your friend needs a bandage right now.
Tom
My policy has always been to avoid giving advice so it's taken me a bit of thought before putting fingers to keyboard.
However, if your friend was bleeding then, still friends or not, you would provide a bandage wouldn't you? If you could.
It seems to me your friend needs a bandage right now.
Tom
This is Tom. I think Maureen will have to start posting separately so that we don't have to say which one of us it is.
Just posted something similar in another thread but there might be somebody who can benefit from this.
A couple of years ago we were in Australia. In the Sydney Morning Herald there was an article about calories in semen, overweight men and a fairly comprehensive article it was.
It said that overweight men who lost weight could expect to see an apparent increase in length of their penis by one inch for each stone lost.
Ths things Austrtalians read over breakfast. I could imagine a wife saying "Put down that Four X your bloody drongo and give that steak and eggs to the pooch. I'll get you a slice of cucumber and a leaf of lettuce."
Just posted something similar in another thread but there might be somebody who can benefit from this.
A couple of years ago we were in Australia. In the Sydney Morning Herald there was an article about calories in semen, overweight men and a fairly comprehensive article it was.
It said that overweight men who lost weight could expect to see an apparent increase in length of their penis by one inch for each stone lost.
Ths things Austrtalians read over breakfast. I could imagine a wife saying "Put down that Four X your bloody drongo and give that steak and eggs to the pooch. I'll get you a slice of cucumber and a leaf of lettuce."
Never had any state benefits in my life.
But
I'm a pensioner - but before you all switch me off - I was in a motorbike accident while on duty and I was offered my pension early. I retired at the age of 41. I am fully recovered and I don't regret one minute of my freedom.
A free life is truly wonderful.
Major Tom
But
I'm a pensioner - but before you all switch me off - I was in a motorbike accident while on duty and I was offered my pension early. I retired at the age of 41. I am fully recovered and I don't regret one minute of my freedom.
A free life is truly wonderful.
Major Tom
