Hey folks.
I have a question I hope some of you can help with.
I consider myself straight and am married (although that isn't going all that well). Our sex life is next to none existent, I have tried to talk to her about it and other issues in our relationship and she doesn't want to know/doesnt think theres a problem so I am getting to the stage I want to go elsewhere.
Now as I said I consider myself straight but I often fantasise about having sex with men. I am always "the taker" and I often fantasise about giving and receiving oral sex. The thing is I don't fancy men, I can appreciate what women see in some blokes but I am not physically attracted to men.
I am seriously considering going dogging just to try it with another guy as I have never had a gay experience but when I have gay fantasies, as soon as I ejaculate I feel like I couldn't go through with it.
So can any of you bi guys relate to this? I don't want to go for it then regret it straight after. I think I should start with the basics, maybe a bit of masturbation to see how it goes. I have done some c2c with other guys and used toys on myself which was great but if it came to it I don't know if I could go through with it.
So, any suggestions/advice? I can't bear the though of doing anything with a fat, sweaty, hairy middle aged man so whoever it was would have to be youngish, well kept and reasonably attractive which makes me think maybe dogging isn't the answer.
Cheers.
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A question for the bi guys
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When similar questions are asked the general advice seems to be to visit a club,(i've never been to one) then you can meet people,chat, observe, decide whether or not you wish to be involved. Adult cinemas offer similar scenarios in some way, but they can be really sleazy. Gay saunas or turkish baths undoubtedly offer similar opportunities. In every case, just as with dogging, there's no obligation to get involved.
As with all such things you are getting into something which is potentially corruptive; that is to say it will become easier to do and less easy to resist as you become familiar with it all. I'm not suggesting that you beat yourself up over it, but consider carefully whether you wish to venture there. If you decide to go ahead then just go for it and enjoy. Thousands of married men are secretly and actively bi', and for most it is just part of their everyday being. You need to decide for yourself whether or not you can "cheat" and be comfortable with it.
None of this will compensate for what your marriage is missing, but that's a seperate issue and needs dealing with on another level.
As with all such things you are getting into something which is potentially corruptive; that is to say it will become easier to do and less easy to resist as you become familiar with it all. I'm not suggesting that you beat yourself up over it, but consider carefully whether you wish to venture there. If you decide to go ahead then just go for it and enjoy. Thousands of married men are secretly and actively bi', and for most it is just part of their everyday being. You need to decide for yourself whether or not you can "cheat" and be comfortable with it.
None of this will compensate for what your marriage is missing, but that's a seperate issue and needs dealing with on another level.
Hi, for years I had fantasies about bi adventures and never understood it. Love women don't find men attractive but always imagined being taken from behind and having oral. I then by fluke ended up having a blow job from a distant friend. It was the best. Still to this day I would say it was the best I've ever had. I then beat myself up for years thinking I was wrong however always imagined more encounters. I've now decided I really do want to fully explore bi and all it offers. I do think you have to ensure it's what you want then if so chat with some local bis. Build up some trust then meet up and see where it goes. Take things at your pace rushing could spoil it. Don't do what I did and beat myself up for years.
Warming the Bed
It's somewhat natural. For me it' a release and that's it. I can be attracted to some very hot guys outside the "horny phase" in real life but that's a rarity. I suspect a tight fit guy naked would get the attention of even the straightest guy.
I'd suggest you go for it and enjoy it. Nothing wrong and yes many married men (like me) enjoy sporadic MM fun
I'd suggest you go for it and enjoy it. Nothing wrong and yes many married men (like me) enjoy sporadic MM fun
My bi side has never involved more than wanking but I got into it because of a failing sexless marriage. Having said that I played around with boys when I was a boy, grew out of it, but it wasn't like it was something totally foreign to me. These days I'm divorced and single.
Odd thing is, or perhaps not, when I'm actively involved with a lady my libido tends not respond well to playing with guys, but if I'm in a desert stage it's a case of "ooh here we go again".
I have very limited limits, (see above), and that's because, as one of life's natural worriers, I like it to be a laugh, a release, and not something I need to beat myself up about afterwards. I treat it as fun.
(edit) It occurs to me to add that sex cinemas are quite good for me in the sense that I can be tossed off in the seats without having to say no to blow jobs and other stuff. Some of these establishments have dark rooms and glory holes but personally I don't like those areas on so many levels it would bore you to hear why, dark, security, disease, to name but 50. lol
Odd thing is, or perhaps not, when I'm actively involved with a lady my libido tends not respond well to playing with guys, but if I'm in a desert stage it's a case of "ooh here we go again".
I have very limited limits, (see above), and that's because, as one of life's natural worriers, I like it to be a laugh, a release, and not something I need to beat myself up about afterwards. I treat it as fun.
(edit) It occurs to me to add that sex cinemas are quite good for me in the sense that I can be tossed off in the seats without having to say no to blow jobs and other stuff. Some of these establishments have dark rooms and glory holes but personally I don't like those areas on so many levels it would bore you to hear why, dark, security, disease, to name but 50. lol
I can relate to this, to an extent. Although for me it's never been something that went away when I've been in a relationship with a girl (and vice versa - I miss being with girls if I'm in a relationship with a dude - I guess that's why this whole community appeals to me. Have my cock and eat it, so to speak. Wait. No. That sounds weird.)
Would I be right in thinking that you've mainly had encounters with guys while cruising? And that your female partners have normally been met under different circumstances? If so, maybe all that's happening is that you find a relationship more fulfilling than a handjob.
Would I be right in thinking that you've mainly had encounters with guys while cruising? And that your female partners have normally been met under different circumstances? If so, maybe all that's happening is that you find a relationship more fulfilling than a handjob.
Quote by bigmickeyc
maybe all that's happening is that you find a relationship more fulfilling than a handjob.
I'm sure that's true, a relationship is what most of us want, but on the basis that the largest sex organ we have is the brain, I can honestly say that a relationship with a man has never even registered as a fantasy, rather the reverse, I absolutely know I'd run a mile. What I "love" about a recreational wank is "exactly" that I don't know their names, and I have no desire to. More than this I can say in 15 years of occasional encounters I've never met anyone who actually expressed a wish to know me either, which for me has been entirely satisfactory!
As I think about this it occurs to me that what I ought to prefer would be the scene above, but with a girl... but I have never paid for any sexual performance because, no matter how good it might be, it would always be too one sided. Sex, any sex act, has to have an element of mutual satisfaction, and therefore be voluntary. Lady volunteers who'd like to pull me off apply here!!! (Form an orderly queue :lol: )
Forum Virgin
A T-Gurl party is one where all the trans people, vestite, gender and sexual, plus the c/ds get together with their admirers to socialize and possibly (hopefully) have sex. There is one on Thursdays at Isis. As one who has only recently dipped a toe into this world, I have found people to be very helpful and accepting.
My experience is that sexuality has a fluidity that makes labels difficult. I started as a straight guy, had good relationships with women ,batted homo feelings away like flies for a few years before declaring myself to be bi. That eventually morphed to gay and I lived a number of years as a big butch gay man. Now I'm in a phase where I'm getting in touch with my feminine side. I still want to have sex with men, but while dressed as a woman. Increasingly I want a woman in the mix. So does that make me bi? Or, given that I want to do this dressed as a woman, does that make me a lesbian wannabe?
The insistance that we label ourselves based on sexual behavior is limiting and damaging. I think the ones most harmed by this are straight men who want to step slightly outside the accepted norms of male heterosexual behavior.
So, for the op, my suggestion is to be very gentle with yourself. Take the worthwhile advice that you find on here and disregard the bullshit. When you're ready to go to a cruising area, cinema or T-gurl party do so. Remember to keep breathing.
My experience is that sexuality has a fluidity that makes labels difficult. I started as a straight guy, had good relationships with women ,batted homo feelings away like flies for a few years before declaring myself to be bi. That eventually morphed to gay and I lived a number of years as a big butch gay man. Now I'm in a phase where I'm getting in touch with my feminine side. I still want to have sex with men, but while dressed as a woman. Increasingly I want a woman in the mix. So does that make me bi? Or, given that I want to do this dressed as a woman, does that make me a lesbian wannabe?
The insistance that we label ourselves based on sexual behavior is limiting and damaging. I think the ones most harmed by this are straight men who want to step slightly outside the accepted norms of male heterosexual behavior.
So, for the op, my suggestion is to be very gentle with yourself. Take the worthwhile advice that you find on here and disregard the bullshit. When you're ready to go to a cruising area, cinema or T-gurl party do so. Remember to keep breathing.
My first bi experience was brought about by the desire to try a blow job and the realisation that an opportunity was available. I was in my early twenties and always horny, and although I approached the encounter with some trepidation, I just went ahead and saw it through.
It was very disappointing really. Not at all like being with someone I fancied, and to be honest I didn't feel much of anything afterwards. It was something I could shrug my shoulders about. Then came the awareness that this outlet for sexual relief was always there through dogging or, more readily at that time, through cottaging. All of this was new to me, but I occasionally went along for a quick fix, and it soon became just a matter of course to me. Guys will congregate discreetly and have sex wherever an opportunity exists.
My liking of girls never waned, but my awareness of all things sexual has grown, to the extent that I find it easy to be in the company of a pal, male or female, who'll join me for a beer, and with whom I might or might not have sex later, it doesn't really matter.
It was very disappointing really. Not at all like being with someone I fancied, and to be honest I didn't feel much of anything afterwards. It was something I could shrug my shoulders about. Then came the awareness that this outlet for sexual relief was always there through dogging or, more readily at that time, through cottaging. All of this was new to me, but I occasionally went along for a quick fix, and it soon became just a matter of course to me. Guys will congregate discreetly and have sex wherever an opportunity exists.
My liking of girls never waned, but my awareness of all things sexual has grown, to the extent that I find it easy to be in the company of a pal, male or female, who'll join me for a beer, and with whom I might or might not have sex later, it doesn't really matter.
well firstly if your sex life, and married life, isn't perfect then go and work on it! Counselling, guidance, anything to at least make an effort. Sex isn't everything, ok it's major, but work if you put the same effort into your relationship as perhaps you put into this site it could be better.
And then just live for cock. It's pretty close to the best toy ever invented and mega underused.
And then just live for cock. It's pretty close to the best toy ever invented and mega underused.
Just go for it, yes you may meet a sweaty, hairy guy from time to time, other times you wont, I always like to see pics before I meet someone. Dont find men attractive at all, never have, never will. Always wanted to touch and play with another guys cock, I did it for the first time 10yr ago, did'nt regret it, had a couple of meets I'd rather forget, had some good ones as well, one turned into a regular'ish fuck meet, sometimes feels odd, different afterwards and when I have used toys on myself,but I still do it as I like it. My first time was in the woods with a guy a couple of years younger than me, he bulging through his pants as soon as we got there, it was the first time for both of us, we stood there facing each other with a pants round our ankles, him with a raging boner and me with a semi as I was nervous, I made the first move, stroked his cock, he let out a moan, then I thought he was about to blow his load as I cupped his balls, I could'nt believe how hard and warm it felt in my hand, nice upward curve to it, with a big japs eye, I got down on my knees and sucked on his cock, he did'nt last long and I finshed him off with a wank, he then did the same to me, I dont really remember the blow job he gave me, think I was still in awe that I had touched another mans cock, if you never try it then you will never know...
I know exactly where you are coming from and have often thought the same, it's good to know I'm not the only one and that I'm not strange for thinking it! I just worry too much as to what people will think of me for doing it, woul love to find a couple that were will to help explore these things but that's never going to happen lol. I say good luck with it you don't know till you try!
I had one bi encounter when I was in my teens and although it did turn me on at the time I have come to accept and realize , over the years that guys just don't do it for me.
I never walk down the high street and look at another guy and think, "wow he's hot", like I do with women, and seeing guy naked just doesn't get me excited at all.
However! It's a totally different story when i see a guy dressed up as a women, or wearing sexy panties and lingerie, this really turns me on and makes me sooo horny.
I enjoy crossdressing very occasionlly and looking and acting like a woman, taking on the feminine role and I do wear my wife's sexy panties quite alot, whith her permission, it just makes me feel very sexy in them.
I have felt like this since puberty i guess, and always felt like i was bit of a freak but there are thousands of us out there who do the same and so embrace it and enjoy.
xxx
I never walk down the high street and look at another guy and think, "wow he's hot", like I do with women, and seeing guy naked just doesn't get me excited at all.
However! It's a totally different story when i see a guy dressed up as a women, or wearing sexy panties and lingerie, this really turns me on and makes me sooo horny.
I enjoy crossdressing very occasionlly and looking and acting like a woman, taking on the feminine role and I do wear my wife's sexy panties quite alot, whith her permission, it just makes me feel very sexy in them.
I have felt like this since puberty i guess, and always felt like i was bit of a freak but there are thousands of us out there who do the same and so embrace it and enjoy.
xxx
Sexpert
Quote by d4dogging
Hey folks.
I have a question I hope some of you can help with.
I consider myself straight and am married (although that isn't going all that well). Our sex life is next to none existent, I have tried to talk to her about it and other issues in our relationship and she doesn't want to know/doesnt think theres a problem so I am getting to the stage I want to go elsewhere.
Now as I said I consider myself straight but I often fantasise about having sex with men. I am always "the taker" and I often fantasise about giving and receiving oral sex. The thing is I don't fancy men, I can appreciate what women see in some blokes but I am not physically attracted to men.
I am seriously considering going dogging just to try it with another guy as I have never had a gay experience but when I have gay fantasies, as soon as I ejaculate I feel like I couldn't go through with it.
So can any of you bi guys relate to this? I don't want to go for it then regret it straight after. I think I should start with the basics, maybe a bit of masturbation to see how it goes. I have done some c2c with other guys and used toys on myself which was great but if it came to it I don't know if I could go through with it.
So, any suggestions/advice? I can't bear the though of doing anything with a fat, sweaty, hairy middle aged man so whoever it was would have to be youngish, well kept and reasonably attractive which makes me think maybe dogging isn't the answer.
Cheers.
This might sound very old fashioned but have you thought about chatting to someone, getting on with them so you think you might want to meet them. Meet them and see if you are both attracted to each other, planning another date and just see how it goes? Not all bi or gay men are promiscuous and just want to hop into bed with anybody all the time. the ratio is probably the same as straight people. If you are looking for a sexual release them you would probably feel bad about yourself afterwards. If you took the time to get to know somebody then there enjoyment will be as important as your own. You can open up to them, tell them your desires, fears and feeling towards your sexuality. You are basically talking about using somebody for your own gratification, have a thought for the other person.
Sorry, didn't want to make it sound like a sermon but think I failed in that regard
Sexpert
Quote by d4dogging
What is a t-girl party?
I'd like to know about people's first gay experiences and how they felt about it afterwards.
Loved it, it did not include sex but when I tried that I thought I had died and gone to heaven. But it is the person and not there sex or sexuality that matters to me.
wow, it's so comforting to see other people struggling with the same problem! For the past year I've been real close of having gay sex (everytime I hooked up with someone, I bolted on the last minute). Now, I'm even closer to fuck a guy, but like everyone else said, I do feel awful after wanking.
Quote by Matt_lipim not struggling with it, just have a go other wise you wont know. yes you'll think you shouldnt have done that afterwards but give it a couple of hours and i bet you want another go!!!
wow, it's so comforting to see other people struggling with the same problem! For the past year I've been real close of having gay sex (everytime I hooked up with someone, I bolted on the last minute). Now, I'm even closer to fuck a guy, but like everyone else said, I do feel awful after wanking.
Sex God
Quote by herts_darlings1
This might sound very old fashioned but have you thought about chatting to someone, getting on with them so you think you might want to meet them. Meet them and see if you are both attracted to each other, planning another date and just see how it goes? Not all bi or gay men are promiscuous and just want to hop into bed with anybody all the time. the ratio is probably the same as straight people. If you are looking for a sexual release them you would probably feel bad about yourself afterwards. If you took the time to get to know somebody then there enjoyment will be as important as your own. You can open up to them, tell them your desires, fears and feeling towards your sexuality. You are basically talking about using somebody for your own gratification, have a thought for the other person.
Sorry, didn't want to make it sound like a sermon but think I failed in that regard
:shock:
Is this a serious reply?? On a swinging site?!
The OP has said he doesn't fancy men, he just wants to suck and/or fuck cock. Why would you send him on a date? He's talking about going dogging, not starting an affair with a man
Forum Virgin
Like many on here, I am bi but don't really fancy or lust after other men at all. Simply put, I love having my cock sucked and being wanked off. It is much easier to find another guy to do the honours than a lady. It's a fact of life.
Not being a selfish sod, I always offer to return the favour and have found I really enjoy other guys cocks. The feel of them in my hands or mouth is fine and there is a real sense of satisfaction in bringing someone else to an intense orgasm.
The times I get hugely turned on by men are when I am with cross dressers. There is something so horny about meeting a guy who's a stranger wearing women's clothes, peeling off the layers to find a naked man in stockings and putting him on his hands and knees for a good fuck. Bloody hell, it's days like that that make life worth living.
That said and done, I live to meet and have sex with women. That is my goal. Dalliances with other men is just an interesting diversion between relationships for me.
Not being a selfish sod, I always offer to return the favour and have found I really enjoy other guys cocks. The feel of them in my hands or mouth is fine and there is a real sense of satisfaction in bringing someone else to an intense orgasm.
The times I get hugely turned on by men are when I am with cross dressers. There is something so horny about meeting a guy who's a stranger wearing women's clothes, peeling off the layers to find a naked man in stockings and putting him on his hands and knees for a good fuck. Bloody hell, it's days like that that make life worth living.
That said and done, I live to meet and have sex with women. That is my goal. Dalliances with other men is just an interesting diversion between relationships for me.
Quote by RoamsAbout
Like many on here, I am bi but don't really fancy or lust after other men at all. Simply put, I love having my cock sucked and being wanked off. It is much easier to find another guy to do the honours than a lady. It's a fact of life.
Not being a selfish sod, I always offer to return the favour and have found I really enjoy other guys cocks. The feel of them in my hands or mouth is fine and there is a real sense of satisfaction in bringing someone else to an intense orgasm.
The times I get hugely turned on by men are when I am with cross dressers. There is something so horny about meeting a guy who's a stranger wearing women's clothes, peeling off the layers to find a naked man in stockings and putting him on his hands and knees for a good fuck. Bloody hell, it's days like that that make life worth living.
That said and done, I live to meet and have sex with women. That is my goal. Dalliances with other men is just an interesting diversion between relationships for me.
What a great, and refreshingly frank, first post. :thumbup:
:welcome: to the forums. What took you so long? ;)
Forum Virgin
Quote by Cubes
What a great, and refreshingly frank, first post. :thumbup:
:welcome: to the forums. What took you so long? ;)
Cheers Cubes. No idea why it took so long, I just never really explored the forum till tonight.
Oh, and regarding the frankness, if you can't be honest on a site like this why bother ? Believe me I know where you are coming from though lol.
I'm married here and don't fancy guys at all, however I do like to mess with other guys now and again. There's no physical attraction for me and I don't want to kiss or fuck other guys, or be fucked for that matter. What I do love though is just getting naked and horny with a guy, maybe over a porno, to wank and perhaps suck each other. Its just a mutual blokey thing for me - porno on, pants off, talk dirty, wank, suck, spunk then off we go our separate ways. No strings or commitments. Its just good sharing a bit of intimacy with a likeminded bloke now n again, without wife/gf involvement, and get off on each others cock n balls. I've met a number of guys into the same sort of thing and can highly recommend it.
Quote by j_b_220
I'm married here and don't fancy guys at all, however I do like to mess with other guys now and again. There's no physical attraction for me and I don't want to kiss or fuck other guys, or be fucked for that matter. What I do love though is just getting naked and horny with a guy, maybe over a porno, to wank and perhaps suck each other. Its just a mutual blokey thing for me - porno on, pants off, talk dirty, wank, suck, spunk then off we go our separate ways. No strings or commitments. Its just good sharing a bit of intimacy with a likeminded bloke now n again, without wife/gf involvement, and get off on each others cock n balls. I've met a number of guys into the same sort of thing and can highly recommend it.
Like this attitude, I feel exactly the same way, just not had much luck yet
So good to read this thread , I have had the same emotions as yourself, I have been with my other half for over 13 years but say over last 18 months I have wanted to have cock play with other men. like someone else posted I don't find men in particular sexy or out I just love wanking having an orgasm etc, I have had 1,meet last year which did not go well as I was that nervous and the bloke was defo more than medium build if u know what I mean,and he wanted to kiss all the time which I had to keep saying no I ain't into kissing. I never got more than a semi and still cum pretty quick. Hope I get to do it again soon , so ill end with if anyone wants to help me out pm me
