Since the Internet is the easiest and these days, the best way to find swingers to play with, you need to learn to make the most out of your online search. As we covered in a previous chapter, finding swingers online isn’t hard at all—it’s finding swingers that will give you a chance to play with them that can be difficult. That’s what we’re going to teach you to do right here in this chapter. Following these suggestions is sure to help you improve your chances online when it comes to finding swingers who want to let you in on their fun.
Your Online Profile
Starting with your profile only makes sense seeing as how that is your first impression, after all. Your profile is the first thing and, often the only thing that potential playmates have to go on when you’re using an online adult dating service or swingers dating site. You can have the wittiest messages on the net and be a modern-day Woody Allen, but it’s your profile that stands to have the biggest impact on the people you contact as well as those who just happen to be trolling profiles. You profile is key whenever it comes to meeting someone online, swingers or otherwise. In your case though, you’re already at a bit of a disadvantage seeing as how many swingers aren’t usually looking for a single guy to bring into the fun, which is precisely why you need to really rock your profile to the max if you want to better your chances.
I also recommend creating two profiles per site. Now, I’m not at all suggesting that you be sneaky or misleading here, but if you have a willing female who has or will swing with you, then one profile could be as a couple together with her and the other could be your solo profile. On your joint profile, don’t lie or mislead anyone by saying that you are married or committed to each other. Be honest about the fact that you are both consenting adults who respect each other and enjoy playing together along with other couples.
Yes, some married swinging couples will bypass you in place of another married couple who they have more in common with because of marriage and being in the same situation, but others will be okay with your situation and appreciate the honesty. Lies always seem to have a way of surfacing in the end, so try refrain from saying anything that will come back and bite you in the arse and further feed the theory that single male swingers are pigs. Now, let’s get back to your solo profile.As I have tried to stress over and over again throughout this article; you need to somehow rise above and beyond all the guys before you who messed things up by being disrespectful jackasses when they attempted to swing. Your profile and your first impression—which are the same thing when you’re online—has to be such that it washes away the bad taste that was left behind by others before you. The way to do this is to show that you are different than what they think a single guy wanting to swing is. Your profile is a great way to test all of the information and advice that I have given you up to now because you can use it to show other swingers that you’re a good guy who has a deep understanding of the swinging lifestyle and what it means to true swingers. It’s also your opportunity to show potential playmates that you understand the rules and abide by them. And finally, it’s a chance to show others how laidback, easygoing and genuine you are, making you just the kind of guy that swingers wouldn’t mind being around.
Normally it would be customary to start with the things that you should do, but I feel it’s important to really hammer in all of the things that you shouldn’t do first. Why? Simply because I know how likely it is that you’re going to make some mistakes, seeing as how you are a guy who wants to get laid and have some fun and isn’t quite a seasoned swinger yet. So, here is the list of ‘don’ts’ that will save you from messing up your chances online and otherwise.
Online Profile Don’ts
DON’T lie. Lying really does always come back and bite you in the ass, so just don’t do it! Don’t lie about your age, your appearance or your intentions because doing so means risking embarrassment, retaliation and a bad rep that will ruin your shot at swinging.
DON’T use an outdated picture. A common practice in the world of online dating and swinging is posting pictures of oneself that were taken years earlier. Sure, it’s not quite as slimy as posting someone else’s picture all together, but it’s still misleading and not necessary. If a couple does choose to meet you based on your profile picture I can assure you that you won’t get farther than that initial drink once they see that you misled them or look a decade older. Actually, you’d be lucky to even make it to that initial drink as many would simply walk away without a word, leaving you there waiting like a chump!
DON’T be rude or crass. Even though this is sex and far from PG-rated, it doesn’t mean that you need to use profanity or any language that may come across as rude or crass. Your profile needs to show you in a good and attractive light and while most people are fine with some profanity, it has its place and your profile is not it. Talk like trash and you’ll look like trash! It’s really that simple.
DON’T be cocky or arrogant. No one likes an arrogant guy to begin with, but it’s even less welcome in the world of swinging where you, the single guy, are already starting out with a bad rap! You want couples to trust you with their most important possession—their bodies. Being arrogant doesn’t make you appealing in anyway and even if you do stumble on a woman who likes a bit of a bad boy; chances are slim that her husband will feel the same.
DON’T be pushy. No one wants to be pushed when it comes to sex. Swingers have many potential playmates to choose from who have marriage and/or relationships in common with them. As a single guy trying to prove that you are a decent and genuine person who is not out for his own pleasure, being pushy will just stand in your way. A little respect and patience goes a long way.
You’d be smart to copy these don’ts and tape them next to your computer monitor before going online to search for swingers. Living by these will definitely help to improve your chances online when it comes to meeting swingers.
Now let’s move onto some tips that will help you create a winning profile and teach you to communicate with swingers in a way that’s bound to get you respect and a shot at finding swingers to play with.
The Do’s for Improving Your Chances Online
DO include a picture. It has been proven that profiles with pictures get more hits, so do be sure to include one in your profile. Choose the most current picture you have and base your choice of image on what’s suitable for that particular site. Some seem to feature mostly face shots while others go for the full Monty. Try to keep it tasteful even if you are opting for a nude picture. Resist the urge to post pictures of your Johnson and nothing else! You’re trying to find swingers who will welcome you into their sex lives for some mutually gratifying fun, so a good picture that doesn’t make you come across as creepy or seedy is better.
DO put a little thought into what you write. Don’t just hop from site to site creating generic profiles. You want to show other members that you’ve got something to offer in the way of sex AND your personality. No one wants a boring, unimaginative lover so put forth a little effort and share something about yourself that shows you in the best light. Be funny, witty and honest without giving away too much and looking desperate. Get ideas from other profiles if you’re really stuck or even consider asking a friend for help.
DO reply to all messages. Even if you are contacted by someone who you are not interested in for whatever reason, be courteous and send them a reply even if just to say you’re looking for something else. Being polite and replying to everyone could lead you to other swingers that are more up your alley when word gets around that you’re a good guy. This could also lead to some valuable contacts as far as swingers events and parties go. The only time you shouldn’t reply to a message is when you think it is spam or you find it abusive or insulting. In those cases you’re better off to hit the delete button and move on or report it to the site administrator if it is especially offensive or suspicious.
DO keep an open mind. Keeping an open mind is important when it comes to finding other couples to swing with. Don’t get all caught up in what you think a fun couple should look like and instead try to see past the surface a little. For a truly hot experience you want a couple that’s confident and adventurous in bed so remember that when you hear from a couple that’s a tad on the heavy side or short side or just doesn’t fit an unrealistic mould that you may have in your head. This opens you up to a lot more swingers and bigger and better experiences.
DO be safe. You may think you’ve got it covered and that you can take care of yourself, but this is one fucked up world we live in! You can never be too cautious when meeting strangers! Remember how your mama always told you that stranger = danger? Well, that’s still good advice to live by. For your safety and comfort and theirs; always meet in a public place and always let someone know where you’re going. You don’t need to go into a lot of detail, just a quick heads up as to where you’ll be in case anything was to happen. Being safe will also show other swingers that you’re a responsible guy.
