One of the main reasons that some swingers have the apprehensions that they do when it comes to single guys is the fact that few single men really understand the difference between swinging and casual sex. If you ask any swinger why they frown on single guys who want to attend swingers parties and clubs most of them will reference the fact that single guys are just looking to screw anyone and everyone they can. That’s the consensus amongst swingers—that single guys are really just looking to get laid and have no comprehension or regard for the lifestyle. Is that true? Well, you’re the only one who knows the answer to that. What are you in it for? It’s okay to want sex and it’s also okay to want to have it with different women and couples, but you really need to hammer the difference between casual sex and swinging into your head for your sake and the sake of others.
If you’re reading this article then it’s pretty much a given that you want to have some sexual variety and are looking for something other than a romantic involvement. There is a fine line between casual sex and swinging—at least for the single guy. To couples who swing the distinction is very clear but for a single guy, what is the difference between having some casual sex and swinging? They both allow you the opportunity to have sex without a romantic involvement, but they aren’t both what you would classify as a no-strings-attached deal. The swinger’s lifestyle is unique from casual sex because the couples in the lifestyle are committed, trusting and often looking to form genuine friendships with those that they swing with. They look for others that they can trust and build a real rapport with and often play with the same people on a regular basis. Yes, it’s about sexual experimentation and enjoyment for them too, but that’s not all. The swinging couple swings as a way to enjoy sex together. It’s not about one or the other getting their rocks off but rather about the two of them exploring and enjoying the experience together. It’s an extension of their marriage—not just about a screw.
We touched on the topic of bisexuality in the introduction but will elaborate now. Again, the majority of men in couples that swing are known to be heterosexual. You may find someone who is willing to dabble or experiment with another guy but, for the most part, the male half of these couples are not interested in having sex with other men.
When a single guy tries enters the situation it’s easy for swingers to get their backs up and feel threatened because a single guy is most likely there to have sex with the wives only. When a couple swings it is with the intention of doing so together. Many female swingers enjoy being sexual with other women, so a single woman or a couple not only make the most sense to play with but are also the least threatening. They are also in it to play with a couple while a single guy like yourself may have little interest in having the male half of the couple involved. Do you see how that works? It’s not that these confident and secure couples are threatened by you per say, but rather put off by the idea of someone trying to come between an activity that was intended to be enjoyed as a couple.
You may wonder what all of this has to do with you and what you want, but understanding—really truly understanding—what the difference is between swinging and casual sex could make all the difference in the world. There is a certain level of respect found in swinging that isn’t often there with casual sex and one night stands. If you’re ready to respect the rules and base what you do on an understanding of what the swinger’s lifestyle is really all about then you’re well on your way to a very satisfying experience.
