Yes, we touched on this in the previous chapter and if you read through it all then you already have a good idea as to why it is that some swingers will literally sneer at the single guy who tries to make their way into a swinger’s party or club. Here we will go into a little more detail, starting with the ones who ruin it for everybody else.
There really is always one or a handful that ruin it for everyone else. You’ve heard this from your teachers growing up whenever a privilege got taken away from you because of some other snotty kid’s bad behavior and you have probably even heard it at home, at work and seen it with the women you date. Well, it’s no different when it comes to swinging and, you the single guy are being sneered at because some other guys before you went in and fucked it all up with their bad behavior. Luckily all is not lost. You can still work past this but it is definitely going to require some effort on your part. Are you going to undo what was done by others before you? Probably not. Will you be able to pave the way for other single guys who wanna swing and change the swinging universe for the better of single men everywhere? No. But, you can get into the lifestyle and reap the rewards of standing out above the rest and making the right impression. (We cover that in the next chapter)
Thanks to the guys before you who got in and decided that they were going to wreak havoc and take advantage of all of the sexy goodness that the swinging lifestyle has to offer, the barriers are now bigger and harder to break than ever. Over time some swingers have come to believe that the single man is a threat to the lifestyle and the trust that goes along with it. Many of the swingers that you encounter are going to jump to the conclusion that you are there to take advantage of what they’ve got going on. This doesn’t make them jerks by any stretch, but rather people who have been given reason to be skeptical. A single guy can be seen as someone who is out for his own enjoyment and gain with no regard for the people he has sex with or what the lifestyle is all about.
Some couples who are secure enough in their relationship to enjoy sexual pleasure with others are threatened by the single guy who is out to simply bed every woman in sight for his own cheap thrills. And, even the most confident of swinging husbands may fear that you will try to come between him and his wife and try to ‘score’ some action on the side while leaving him out which is NOT what swinging is about.
When a straight single guy gets into the mix; the dynamics change whether he’s got bad intentions or not. When you have two couples engaging in sex or a couple and a woman who is bisexual, the entire experience is equally gratifying for everyone involved. If a straight single guy comes in and wants to swing with a couple where the man is straight, then the only two who stand to really enjoy the experience fully are the single guy and the swinging female, ultimately leaving the man out. Sure, some husbands get off on watching their wives with others, but that is not really swinging. I can’t stress enough that swinging is about secure and committed couples enjoying sex with others as an extension of the sex and love life that they share together—with share and together being the key points. You, the single guy messes that up—or at least that’s how they see it.
You can’t blame swinging couples for being cautious because this is, after all, their marriage or relationship that you’re dealing with and as with any loving and committed couples, it’s normal to look down on something or someone who might try to ruin or make a mockery of something that important.
So you see; many swingers do have a pretty good reason for sneering on the single guy even if not all single guys are the same. A little understanding and compassion when it comes to this will go a long way as will some thick skin and knowing not to take it personally.
